Winterblaze (6 page)

He had called her life a lie. And Poppy supposed it was true. To get through the day, she’d allowed herself to think of it more as a product of her trade than actual lying. In the darkest hours of the night, however, all those lies grew almost too heavy to bear.

When they reached a small space, unoccupied by others, Winston leaned back against the rail, crossing one long leg in front of the other, and the ends of his hair caught in the sea breeze. Dark gold strands whipped about his face, dancing along his mouth before he canted his head and the mass of it blew back. “Right then, vague warnings of my needing protection do me little good.”

Out here, where he had the whistle of the wind to contend with, his voice was rougher, a gravelly rumble that
made her skin shiver. She hid it by leaning back on the opposite wall, out of the wind, and tucking her hands into the wide pockets of her travel gown. “When I last knew this demon, he went under the false identity of Lord Isley, which I believe he subsumed from an earl he murdered. However that is just one of many names and identities he employs. His name doesn’t matter, in any regard.”

“Go on.” Not taking his eyes from her, he reached into his coat and withdrew a battered pack of cigarettes.

Poppy frowned at it. Win enjoyed his pipe but she’d never seen him smoke a cigarette. “Archer believes those to bode ill for a person’s health.”

The corner of his mouth kicked up. God, that crooked smile of his. How many times had he used it right before he seduced the knickers off of her? She braced her shoulder blades against cold steel as he pulled out a pack of matches and lit one from the protected cup of his palm. The tiny, yellow flame reflected in his eyes before he bent his head to light his cigarette. The black tip flared red, and then a puff of smoke left his lips. “So I’ve heard. Never mind the fact that every other physician in London believes smoke helps clear the lungs.”

The noxious cloud drifted over to tickle her nose. “I’d put my money on Archer.”

He grunted, and she waved away a fresh cloud of smoke. “Not to mention that your pipe emits a much nicer scent.”

Win’s mouth quirked again. “The pipe pulls at my scars.” His eyes grew heavily lidded. “You were telling me about the demon.” He drew on his blasted cigarette again.

Poppy tried to relax her shoulders but she was too keyed up. “He can change appearance to suit his needs. Thus you cannot trust anyone.
Anyone
.”

Win grunted and, taking one last draw on his cigarette, tossed it down and crushed it with his boot. “Even you?”

She did not so much as flinch. “Even me. Should I suddenly feel hotter to the touch or avoid prolonged eye contact, then you may suspect me. His eyes will give him away eventually, for he cannot fully control the way they flash with inhuman light. No demon can.”

“This demon,” Win said, “do you know why he is after me?”

“He sent me a message saying…” Her jaw locked and then released. “Saying that he’d take my heart and destroy it.”

She felt, rather than saw, Win tense. He grasped her elbow and guided her deeper into the shadows of the deck.

“Go on,” he said.

With great reluctance, she repeated the words of the telegram verbatim, aware that her cheeks were warm, despite the cool wind. His grip upon her elbow grew stronger as they walked for several lengths without talking. Then he stopped and turned to face her, his body blocking out the wind. “Why you, Poppy?”

She could not avoid his eyes, those canny eyes that always saw a bit too clearly for comfort. “Because I am SOS.” She had to tell him the whole story, only years of keeping it inside made the words slow in coming. Frustration, anger, regret, and yes, self-pity pressed against her breastbone. It ought to be easier.

And then he touched her. The first deliberately intimate touch he’d given her in months. The rough pads of his fingertips caressed her cheek, lighting a slow path of sensation along her skin. She closed her eyes, letting herself sink into the feeling. Down he went, to her neck, where she was so sensitive that his touch made her shudder. He
stood close. His warm breath blew over her lips as his fingers traced the tendons along her neck, and the shiver within her grew. It was almost painful the way she wanted to lean on him and feel his arms wrap about her. But she didn’t know how to ask anymore. He’d left her. And she wasn’t supposed to be weak.

A small puff of air left her lips as his fingers delved beneath her high collar. A dark whisper heated her ear. “Why you?” he repeated, more emphatic now.

She couldn’t think when he stroked her neck, and the bastard knew it. Thus she didn’t note the way his fingertip hooked over the thin gold chain she wore until it was too late. With a brisk flick of his hand, he pulled the hidden necklace out into the light. The little golden Isis pendant fluttered in the breeze as he held it aloft, hooked over his forefingers. His blue-grey eyes bore into her. “Is it because you are Mother?”

She couldn’t speak. Outrage flooded her veins, bitter and hot, followed directly by admiration that he’d sussed her secret out.

Gently, he let the pendant drop, and it dangled awkwardly over her collar. She tucked it away, years of discipline demanding she do nothing less. “How?” She had planned to tell him. Of course she had. Hiding was no longer feasible.

Win angled his head, considering her, and still his eyes did not yield their careful study of her, as though she were a particularly confounding specimen under his scope. “That thing that saved me in the alley—”

“Augustus,” Poppy supplied, suppressing a smile at the thought of how Augustus would react to hearing himself being referred to as a “thing.” “He… well, he is a demon too. The very best sort.” When Win raised a brow in speculation,
she added, “Demons are not inherently evil. Every living being has a choice as to how it will live its life.”

Winston’s mouth flattened. “In any event, this Augustus said that he wouldn’t want to lose Mother over me.” Calculating eyes snapped back to her. “Later, when Ian told me about the SOS, he said it was led by an unknown woman named Mother.” A small shrug. “I cannot fathom why this Mother would care if I died, unless she were you.”

It had been a miracle that Win hadn’t figured her out earlier. She studied the knot in his cravat. “Yes, well, you are correct. I am Mother.” Even saying it aloud sent a skein of foreboding down her skin, and she caught his wrist. “Win, whatever you think of me…” She licked her lips. “Blast it…. Only a handful of people know. If it were to get out—”

“Do you honestly believe,” he cut in, speaking through his teeth, “that I would endanger you out of a petty need for revenge?”

Beneath her fingertips, his pulse beat a hard tattoo as he glared down at her. “No,” she said at last. “No. Save years of training are hard to deny.”

He eased a bit, the tension in his jaw leaving, though his eyes were still distant and cold. He glanced down at her hand, clutching his wrist, and she let it drop. “My being Mother is not entirely the whole of the issue.”

His lip curled. “What is the whole issue?”

Oh, but his attitude scathed, and she fought back her own irritation.

“I put him in his prison.”

“How? When?”

Poppy put a hand to her brow and was not surprised to find it clammy. She was tired. So very tired. And hungry.
Her stomach growled with unseemly volume. Poppy spoke over it. “He killed my mother, Win.”

Win lurched forward. “What?”

Poppy stared at the ocean. From the grand height of the deck, the water had the look of a stretched hide of dark blue leather. “Miranda and Daisy think she died shortly after giving birth to my brother. It was yet another lie. Designed to protect them. The truth is that Isley killed her.” She clutched the rail hard. “He never would have bested her if she hadn’t been mourning the death of my brother.” Poppy had to believe that, for that loss had affected them all. Her brother had been so small, so innocent. And Mother had been devastated. Her grip tightened. “It took me two years to track Isley down and cage him.”

“Cage him?”

“He cannot be destroyed.” The very thought made her teeth gnash. “He is too powerful. He can only be sent back to the place we would call hell.”

“How can you be sure?”

“Because I’ve bloody beheaded him twice!”

Win leaned back with a shocked huff. Awkward silence filled the space between them for a long minute until he spoke again. “When did you capture him?”

“One month after we married.”

Win seemed to sag. “And what is your plan to lure him out now?”

“To wait.”

“I’m sorry?” His smile was thin. “To wait? That is the whole of this grand production?”

Her lips pursed. “Believe me, Isley had his sick little game in place well before I arrived. He wants me here, and he has a reason for it. I’ve simply opened play. The next move will be his.”

Win’s nostrils flared as if scenting something off. “You know each other well.”

“I hunted him for three years.” She did not like the accusation in his tone nor the way it made her skin twitch. “This is the only way to draw him out. Besides, we are on a ship. His ilk can only be sent back to hell when standing upon the earth.”

“So then,” Win said, “this demon is after me because he believes that it will hurt you. I would counter that the solution might be a bit more simplistic.” His expression grew implacable, but the scars on his face seemed to stand out more. “You only have to make it clear that you no longer care for me.”

Her heart stopped painfully then promptly beat a wild rhythm. “He would see through that in an instant.”

“Why?”

“Because it would be a lie!”

Pride had her turning because she could not look at him now. But she got all of five feet away before he caught her by the upper arm, his grip hard and biting as he wrenched her round. “Oh no, you don’t.” He let her go but boxed her in against the railing with his frame. “You do not get to walk away from me. Not yet.”

“Why? You’ve walked away from me.” Her nails dug into her palms. “Hell, you left me, Winston.”

His eye twitched, a fleeting gesture, followed not by repentance but irritation. “And
you
followed
me
here.” His long finger pointed in accusation. “Evading the situation now does you little credit.”

“Why, you bloody hypocrite…”

“Call me all the names you like.” His rough countenance hardened. “It will not put me off from having answers.”

“You haven’t asked a question.”

He loomed, looking thoroughly capable of mayhem, before he leaned against the wall behind them with a grunt and gave her the gimlet eye. “Why did you keep it all from me?” he blurted out. “While I may understand why you were reticent to let me in, I cannot accept that you did not know me well enough to believe that I would ever have betrayed that trust.” He slammed a fist against the wall. “By the love of God, I thought you knew me better. That you knew my heart entirely.” His shoulders sank a little. “The way I thought I knew yours.”

Deep inside her, the black, ugly feelings she’d kept bottled up boiled over, burning her lungs, choking her throat. She rounded on him, fisting her hands so hard her knuckles ached. “I took a vow, Win. An oath never to reveal what I was, or what I did, to anyone.
Anyone.
Not to you, not to my family. Have you any idea how difficult it was to keep it inside? Or the isolation I felt in doing so? Bloody hell, do you think I do not feel the depth of my betrayal to all of you? Miranda can barely meet my eyes anymore. Daisy looks at me as though she has one over on me. And you. I ached to tell you. I died a little each day I could not. But this is what I was born and bred to do. My word is my honor. Break it and I am nothing. Break it and everything I sacrificed is for nothing.”

It wasn’t until the words died on the air that Poppy realized they were nose to nose, shouting like common riffraff, while their fellow passengers hurried by with eyes averted and postures stiff in disapproval. Win’s chest lifted and fell in a soft yet quick cadence as they glared at each other.

He was mere inches away, his eyes dark with close-kept emotion, yet he seemed utterly unreachable. She pulled in a breath and ended any possibility of bridging that gap.
“To speak with perfect honesty, had you not found out, I would never have told. Because I keep my word. No matter how painful it might be to do so.”

He flinched, his broad shoulders tense beneath his coat. In the resounding silence, the wind howled, and she held back a shiver, waiting, and refusing to hide from his response. Slowly he nodded, his gaze on his feet. He stood like that for a moment.

“Well,” he said at last, his voice a rasp. “Now I know.” He moved as if he might touch her but stopped short. “I am sorry, you know. For not asking you sooner. It was wrong of me. You deserved to have your say.” Then, moving with utter control despite his evident fury, he stalked away. Poppy watched him go, admiring the long lines of his body even as she contemplated throttling his stubborn hide. For the first time, she wondered if things were truly hopeless.

M
ary discovered that working with Mrs. Lane was a far different endeavor than being a cog in Lucien’s machine. After years of double talk, decadence, and playing the part Lucien wrote for her, Mrs. Lane’s forthright manner and decisive action was cool water on a summer’s day.