Wise Folly (11 page)

But today's q
uestions tumbled over one another, confusing her
,
and she brushed a hand over her forehead as if to stop her own inquisition.
She told herself that none of it really
matter
ed
. All that mattered was getting Tabby well. Until then
,
she would do whatever was needed in order for Tabby to survive. Dianna stood and walked to the window, where the sun played on her
face and hair, warming her.

The air was suddenly charged with electricity and Dianna instinctively knew Noah had
walked into
the room. She
felt
him standing directly behind her. He
r
senses were acutely aware of
his presence
,
as though she were a compass attracted to a large magnetic force.

“Soul-searching?” His warm breath faintly ruffled
her
hair
and ran down her neck
.

“Would it change your mind about marrying me?” Dianna didn’t turn. She wasn’t ready to face him yet

“No. Nor would hysterics.”

“Then I’ll do neither.”

“Good. There’s enough to do right now without throwing tantrums.”

"I've never thrown a tantrum. What would make you think I'd do so now?"

"You're right.  Tantrums aren't you." She felt his breath on her cheek, but she refused to look at him.  "And that's a good thing because I need you to start moving quickly now."

“
Really? And what do you have in mind that I'd have to do that?" She thought of the woman who had called him away from her. She must be gone by now or he'd still be with her.

“
We're g
oing to your house to pack a few
sentimental or necessary
things for the
next week or two
. Later you can use my account at Neiman-Marcus to buy
or replace
whatever you and Tabby need.”

She turned slowly, facing him. As always, it startled her to see how tall and broad he was. He exuded a male aura that irritated her as much as it drew her to him. It made her feel small, inadequate, and constantly on the defensive.

“Has Catherine gone?”

His brows rose.
“Would you be jealous if I said no?”

She shrugged.
“I don’t really feel one way or the other. She’s your choice. I just hope you won’t be too obvious about it in
th
e
near
future. Children need stability, and Tabby’s could be undermined by your actions.”

“Obvious about what?”

He was playing a cat-and-mouse game but she managed to keep her voice cool. “About keeping Catherine as your mistress after our marriage.”

“I’ll take that to mean you’ve accepted my proposal,” he stated calmly, ignoring her barb.

She nodded, her gaze landing anywhere but on Noah.
“Yes, but I still don’t understand why you’re insisting on this marriage. What can you possibly hope to gain from it? Tabby is your niece—I’ve admitted that
.
But she’s not your obligation and neither am I. I thought I made that clear years ago—I
didn't and still
don’t hold you responsible for what Charles did
.
”

“What if
I'
m asking you to marry me with something other than my . . . obligations in mind, Dianna? What if
I'
m thinking of my pleasures too?”

She blush
ed
a deep rose as anger over-whelmed her thinking. ‘
Do y
ou think I'm
fair game
, Noah
?
That
I must be desperate to marry you because of T
abby
? I
s that it?
”

“I think
I'
ve had more intimate proof than that,” he reminded her quietly.

“Stop it!”

He raised an eyebrow in feigned surprise. “Why?
This isn't the age where
sex
i
s
something dirty
or to
be hidden under the guise of creating children or allowing
some big bully of a man
his animal lust
.
Or duty.
Sex isn't t
o be done but not discussed
. That was your grandmother's generation.
” His laugh was tinged with huskiness. “Are you afraid to admit the
intense p
leasure
we found in each other's arms once before
?
If so,
I didn't do my job." He smiled at her, a sweet gentle smile that lit
a similar
emotion
.
"
Either
that or
we have
a l
ot to learn
about the difference between sex and
making
love, Di
.
"

Di
. He
had called her that a long time ago, when they had met and fallen in love. It was another time and place. Another world where there was infinite possibilities of anything. She thought she'd had the world by a string and she was in charge of her own life.
"I thought I knew what life was about, then, Noah.  I had no idea."

What a joke that had been!

Everything had changed when Noah's brother
r
aped her
. No matter how bright the sun was shining,
it
turn
ed
her world a dark gray
.  She couldn't look at
anything
the same way again. Her habits changed, her lifestyle
changed. But most of all, her fears changed and rearranged themselves, rendering her powerless to gain her confidence back. And when Tabby was born, she managed and feared for two.

Like smoke that invaded everywhere, a
great need
to protect herself and her child
washed over her tired body
every day. But with Noah in her life, she was shocked that she was aw
akening the same
feelings of
desire she
had
always
felt his presence. Truth be told, she
always felt
tie
d to him
in his presence
. It was the need
to be held and sheltered
,
even for a little while.
His body protect
ed
her from
all the fighting she
'd
had to do to
scrape
her way
through
life,
just to make bills and feed
her
baby
in the unloving world.

CHAPTER
FOUR

Noah watched emotions flit across her face
and
h
is
gaze
glittered and darkened dangerously as he read the silent plea in hers.

With a heav
y
sigh, h
is arms encircled her waist
, pulling her closer to his own body. I
nstead of lowering his mouth to claim hers, he pressed her head against the wall of his chest, cradling her like a baby. The unexpected tenderness took Dianna by surprise
. U
nbidden tears turned
in
to sobs as all the lost causes of yesterday were washed away by the promises of tomorrow. Noah held her
protectively
, urging her to cry away the bitterness
.
Everything had changed. The old way of life was gone and she could no longer cope with the new one. She was in limbo and he was her rock now just as he had been in the past

T
he thought was sobering and she tried to push herself out of his arms, catching her breath on a sob. ‘Tm sorry,” she mumbled dejectedly. “I don’t know what’s come over me.” Her hands on his chest were stilled by his.

“Look at me, Dianna,” he ordered softly, forcing her gaze up. “Do
I scare
you so much?’

“Yes,” she answered huskily.
Honestly.

“Why? Because of what happened in the past?’

‘Yes.” Her voice was so low he could hardly hear it, but the pain on her face could not be denied

“We Westons have a lot to answer for,” he muttered reluctantly letting her go to run a hand through his thick dark hair, ruffling it boyishly. “Would you feel better if I said our relationship would never go any further than you wanted?”

Dianna
stared up at him.
“And if I ask that it goes no further than it is now?”

He
sighed
. “Then it doesn’t
.
But I do expect you to be reasonable in your demands
.
”

“I don’t understand.”

“For all intents and purposes this marriage will look normal. Our relatives, Tabby, business associates, are all to believe this marriage
is
a love match.” His flint-gray eyes locked with hers. “That may mean hand holding and kisses in public, but until you say otherwise, we’ll do nothing more than that in private.”

“And if I never say otherwise?” she persisted, trying to believe him yet plainly confused.

“Would you like it in writing?”

Dianna shook her head. “No.
I
just don’t understand how a marriage of this kind
and in this day and age
could hold any appeal for you.” She
turned back toward the large window, unwilling to have him read her expression.
“If you really want to marry for your own pleasure, why choose me? Why not
marry
Catherine?”

Her questions were so artless, so childlike in contrast to her usually cool exterior that he laughed. The warmth of the sound sent shivers down her spine
. "You
could help with Tabby with or without marriage."

He turned her around to face him, not allowing her to hide during their emotional upheaval. 
“
Because, I don't love Catherine Sinclair." He smiled. "H
ave you seen yourself in the mirror lately? You’re beautiful
.
And you’re a breath of fresh air. As far as physical pleasure goes—I’m willing to gamble that
, with time,
you’ll want me as much as
I
wan
t you. You did once, so there's a chance you might feel that way again. I'm willing to take that chance."

The gleam h
e'd
held earlier was back and once again it brought a restriction in her breast and a deep spiraling warmth to her limbs,
it
wasn’t an altogether unpleasant feeling and
the
realization disturbed her. He
rele
ased her from his embrace, leaving her strangely chilled.
“We don’t have much time. I’ll wait for you in the living room.”

Then he was gone and the room seemed empty.

****

A feeling of lethargy filled Dianna as the midnight-blue Mercedes made its way up the freeway toward Irving.
S
he
r
ested
her head against the headrest.

Noah’s capable hands were at the wheel, music on the radio was slow and dreamy, and she closed her eyes. ... A hand on her shoulder brought her quickly awake again and she stared into laughing gray eyes.

“We’re just about there,” he informed her, smiling at her sleep-bewildered expression.

“
I'm
sorry,” she mumbled as she ran her fingers through her hair and tried to bring it to some semblance of order. She should have
known he knew the way to
her house.

Noah slowed down as he wound through the older neighborhood,
turning into the cracked concrete drive as she stared in concentration at the small house she had called home for the past six years. She had never looked at it through someone else’s eyes before
,
but
now that she did, found it dismal. Its once white paint was flaking and yellowed. The green shutters were dull and sun bleached, some of the slats broken or missing. It was with shock that she remembered how it had looked when she’d moved in: all bright and shining, the small neglected garden crying out for a hand to tend it
.
Now it was as old and tired as Dianna felt

Once out of the car, s
he unlocked the door and led him into
the
living room, suddenly shy in Noah’s company. She had been angry and tense with him before, but never shy.