Wish You Were Here (23 page)

‘Right now,' I continued, ‘I feel like the only thing that has any real substance is the moment you're in right now. That's what Andy thinks, doesn't he? He lives in the moment and that's all he believes in.'

‘And look where that's got him,' said Tom. ‘He's no happier because of it. He just spends his life chasing something that he's never going to get. I know it's difficult for you right now but you can't always think the worst will happen. Sometimes you've got to have a bit of faith that everything will work out in the end.'

‘Faith?'

‘The substance of things hoped for.'

‘How can I have faith when everyone always lets me down?' I replied. ‘How can I have faith in anyone when I haven't got any in myself?'

‘Maybe believing in yourself is the best place to start,' said Tom.

‘Maybe,' I replied, glancing over at my plate in the hope that my appetite might return sometime soon. ‘Then again, maybe not.' My appetite was nowhere to be seen, so instead I took a long sip of my lager and changed the topic of conversation. ‘What do you think Andy's up to then?' I asked. ‘I've got a bad feeling that he's up to something.'

‘Maybe he went out last night after all and hooked up with some new girl,' suggested Tom. ‘You never really know with Andy do you?' Tom paused and looked at me. ‘Anyway, why all the curiosity about Andy?'

‘I don't know,' I shrugged, ‘I guess I'm tired of being annoyed at him.'

Tom smiled. ‘Do you remember that time the two of you fell out after you had a go at him for bouncing a cheque on you for his share of the rent for the third time in a row? He didn't talk to you for days.'

‘How could I forget it? I was the one out of pocket and yet he was the one who went around slamming doors like it had just gone out of fashion.' I contemplated my drink absent-mindedly. ‘You don't really think Andy's with another girl do you?'

‘Like I said, with Andy anything's possible, isn't it?'

‘Don't ask me why but I kind of get the feeling that he's not going to do it again. I mean, why would he? This thing with him and Nina was about proving to himself that he'd still got it. There wouldn't be anything to be gained by doing it again.'

‘I'd agree with you,' replied Tom, ‘if Andy was a subscriber to regular logic. But he isn't, is he? He just makes this stuff up as he goes along. Who knows how his mind works? Maybe he wants to get caught out? Maybe he thinks it'll be easier if Lisa dumps him than the other way round. All I know is that there's always been something in Andy that just seems . . . I don't know . . . unhappy. You must have noticed it too.'

‘It'd be hard to miss,' I replied.

‘Do you think he'll ever get over whatever it is he's got to get over?'

‘I hope so for his sake,' I replied. ‘I really do.'

Tom finished his breakfast and I ordered another beer. Leaving Stars and Bars just after one-thirty, we headed back to the Apollo stopping off at a mini-market to stock up on bottled water, beer and assorted crisps and confectionery. As we reached the lobby we noticed that there were about half a dozen guys scattered around the sofas by the pool table watching the highlights of a football match on the widescreen TV and we joined them for five minutes or so and bonded briefly over a discussion of England's performance in a friendly match earlier in the week. Eventually we left our new friends to their football highlights and made our way up the stairs to our apartment where we were surprised to discover that the door was open – either our room was being cleaned or Andy was back. My gut instinct told me to go with the Andy option.

I still hadn't quite managed to work out how I was going to behave with Andy following our argument the day before. Part of me wanted to continue being annoyed at him because he deserved it, but the rest of me knew that maintaining any kind of frostiness would end up being too much like hard work in the face of his constant effervescence. In the end I decided that I would go with the first emotion that sprang to mind.

Tom and I unloaded our bags on to the kitchen table and then made our way through to the bedroom. When I saw Andy, the first emotion that registered on my internal radar was complete and utter shock and surprise. My mind shot back to Tom's comment that ‘with Andy anything's possible' and I suddenly realised just how was right he was, because standing next to Andy in a vest, a denim skirt and flip-flops – looking for all the world as though she was on her way out to the beach for the day – was Lisa.

Andy couldn't have looked more pleased with himself if he'd won the national lottery. ‘All right, boys?' he announced cheerfully as we looked on slack-jawed. ‘Don't just stand there staring like a pair of idiots. What sort of welcome is that to give a lady?'

‘Oh, Andy,' said Lisa, as the penny dropped. ‘How could you not tell them I was coming?'

‘What fun would there be in that?'

‘But you promised me you'd clear it with them first. No wonder they're looking at me like I'm some kind of freak. I'm really sorry about this, guys. I'd understand completely if you wanted me to stay somewhere else.'

‘We're absolutely fine with you staying here,' I said finally getting my mouth into gear. ‘It's just that . . . well . . . we're a bit surprised to see you that's all. Don't take this the wrong way but . . . what
are
you doing here?'

‘Yesterday morning Andy called me up out of the blue and told me he was missing me so much that he'd bought me a cheap flight to Crete over the internet,' explained Lisa, still glowering at Andy. ‘One call into work faking food poisoning and an early morning trip into Gatwick and here I am.'

I had to give Andy the credit that was due him. Inviting Lisa over to Crete was a masterstroke of strategic thinking on his part. The perfect win/win scenario. He'd had his fun during the first part of the week and now at a stroke he'd allayed her fears and banked himself a tonne of perfect-boyfriend points in the bargain. It was genius really. Utter genius. And I probably would've given him a standing ovation had his actions not made me feel like the lowest of the low. How did he think he could pull off such barefaced deceit without being crippled by guilt? He obviously didn't know the meaning of the word. But I did, and thanks to him I felt forced to take on the burden of his guilt for cheating on her as well as my own for hiding the fact from her.

‘It doesn't matter how you got here,' I said, squeezing Lisa in my arms. ‘It's great anyway.'

‘That's really nice of you,' said Lisa. ‘Even if you don't actually mean it. I know this was meant to be a bit of a boys' holiday and now here I am messing things up. I promise you I'll do my best not to cramp your style.'

‘Look, Lisa,' said Tom grinning, as he too greeted her with a hug, ‘we've been about as rock and roll as a bunch of old age pensioners. Your presence can only improve matters, believe me.'

‘Right then,' said Andy as if he hadn't got a care in the world. ‘Who's coming down the beach?'

‘That sounds great.' Tom exchanged glances with me warily. ‘I could do with a day in the sun.'

‘Me too,' I replied acknowledging Tom's look. ‘It'll give me a chance to catch up with my reading.'

As we made our way down to the beach there was a certain amount of tension between us. Lisa was obviously conscious of having gate-crashed our holiday. Tom seemed on edge because despite not wanting to get involved he had now been covertly sucked into keeping Andy's secret from Lisa. And I was anxious because not only had it been me who had promised to keep Andy on the straight and narrow and failed to do so, but in addition I had my own private source of tension with Lisa due to our last conversation on the phone. The only one of us who seemed to be anywhere near relaxed was Andy.

Because of all this apprehension, we all made an effort to talk as a group rather than splitting off into our natural pairings. But the route to the beach was so busy that it was impossible to walk along four abreast. At one point near Stars and Bars, the pavement got so crowded that Tom and Andy broke off and I found myself walking a few paces alone next to Lisa. As I didn't want to talk to her about my mission with Andy, or indeed about Sarah's pregnancy, as she opened her mouth to speak I started fake frantic coughing while carefully speeding up my pace to join the others. When it happened again a few yards later, I was forced to pretend that I had a stone in my sandal. And a few yards after that my solution was to get in first with conversational topics that couldn't be construed as personal. And while these were possibly the least subtle methods I could have chosen to keep Lisa at arm's length – bar my obtaining a loudhailer and yelling the words ‘Don't come any further!' – they did at least do the job.

As usual the beach was heavily congested with young sun-worshippers. But whereas before the three of us had felt like intruders into a world of youth and beauty, with Lisa in our midst I felt as though we now had as much right to be there as anyone else. Although at thirty-one Lisa was probably one of the oldest – if not the oldest – women on the beach, she easily looked five years younger and had the body to prove it. So suddenly we were no longer just a bunch of sad thirtysomething blokes spending the whole day with their noses pressed up against the sweet-shop window, instead we were three thirtysomething blokes who had a three-in-one chance of being mistaken for Lisa's boyfriend. I couldn't have asked for more. And as the three of us trooped across the sand towards the sun-loungers, I could see gangs of younger guys straining to get a better look at Lisa's magnificent figure. It really was all I could do not to turn round to them with their sinewy bodies, their perfect tans and stupidly youthful haircuts and kick sand in their faces.

Gathering together four spare sun-loungers, we set up camp for the afternoon. Andy lay down on his lounger first and then Lisa lay down next to him. At this point Tom looked at Lisa and then at me as if to say, ‘You know her better than me,' and so I stepped forward to take the lounger next to her and Tom tucked himself on at the end.

‘This is fantastic,' said Lisa, as she undressed down to her bikini. ‘I wish Andy had invited me to come earlier.'

‘I know what you mean,' I replied eyeing my best friend's girlfriend's perfect bikini-clad figure from behind the privacy of my sunglasses and then immediately wishing I hadn't. I closed my eyes and tried to delete the image from my retinas.

‘Charlie's only saying that because you're here now,' said Andy mischievously. ‘Secretly he's really enjoyed being one of the lads this week. Isn't that right, Tom?'

‘Hmm,' said Tom who was already engaged as usual with his
Rough Guide
. ‘Definitely, mate.'

‘Has he managed to pull any “birds” while you've been here?' asked Lisa pouring a small amount of sun lotion into the palm of her hands.

‘Was that your attempt at being one of the boys?' laughed Andy.

‘Don't you call girls “birds” any more?' asked Lisa as she began to rub the lotion into her arms. ‘I know it's a long time ago but I quite liked being a “bird” when I was young free and single.'

‘You're still a “bird” to me,' said Andy. ‘Isn't that right, Charlie? Lisa's still got “bird” status, hasn't she?'

‘Yeah, of course,' I said wincing as I covertly watched Lisa rubbing suntan lotion into her thighs. ‘She's a “bird”, all the way.'

‘Thanks, guys,' said Lisa. ‘That's just what I needed to hear.' She turned to Andy and handed him the suntan lotion. ‘Could you just rub some on my back, babe?'

‘No problem,' replied Andy as Lisa lay down on her front and deftly untied her bikini top to reveal the full allure of her naked back.

‘So, Charlie,' said Lisa as Andy straddled her back and began to massage the lotion into her shoulder blades. ‘What's the talent been like?'

‘What are you asking him for?'

‘Because he's the only one of you that's legally licensed to check out the women here,' grinned Lisa. ‘Come on, Charlie, remember I'm “one of the boys”, now. You can tell me anything.'

‘It's been . . . all right,' I replied.

‘The man's on fire, actually,' interrupted Andy who was now massaging the middle of Lisa's back. ‘He managed to pull at the airport before we'd even collected our bags.'

‘He's exaggerating,' I replied. ‘All that happened was that a girl came up to me while we were waiting for our bags . . . she said she wanted to meet up in some bar. It must have been a practical joke or something because she didn't turn up . . . it's all a bit embarrassing, really.'

‘Rubbish,' said Andy. ‘She definitely fancied him. She had a look in her eyes like she really wanted a morsel of Mansell. I think something must have happened to stop her coming that night.'

‘Was she nice?' asked Lisa.

‘Gorgeous,' said Andy, working the sun lotion into Lisa's lower back. ‘Like a young Naomi Campbell.'

‘Wow,' said Lisa. ‘A babe like that could be just the thing you need, Charlie. Maybe we'll bump into her tonight. Talking of which, what exactly have we got planned for tonight?'

I shrugged and passed the question over to Tom in a bid to distract myself from Lisa's glistening back.

‘What do you reckon, Tom?'

‘My vote is somewhere quiet,' he replied. ‘I don't mind having a big night out tomorrow but after last night I could do with taking it easy.'