Wishes and Tears (38 page)

Sue joined Janet and she too gazed on the restful scene. ‘It's not fair. It's such a bloody wicked world.'

A week later the doorbell rang unexpectedly. Janet was very cross. All their friends knew that she liked to have a warning if they were coming just in case Paula was having a bad day, and when they did arrive they always used the back gate.

The bell rang urgently again. If it's a damn salesman I'll give him a piece of my mind, Janet thought. She pulled open the door. ‘Yes? What do you want?' she said abruptly.

To her surprise a tall good-looking man was standing on the doorstep holding a huge bouquet of flowers.

‘I'm sorry, but I've been given to understand that a Miss Paula Brook is staying here.'

‘Yes, she is.' Although Janet guessed who he was she still had to ask. ‘Who wants to know?'

‘I'm Trevor.' He had a smug expression on his face. ‘I'm a very good friend of hers and incidentally, her baby's father.'

Janet felt her knees buckle. ‘What do you want?'

He smiled and Janet could see why her daughter had fallen for this man.

‘I'd like to see Paula and her child.'

Janet wanted to scream at him to go away but she was worried Paula, who was in the garden, might hear her and come to find out what the shouting was about. She stepped outside and pulled the door to behind her. ‘Why? And how did you know she was here?'

‘The junior in her office told me. So I thought I'd come and take her out for a meal.' He looked round. ‘I don't like discussing my business on the doorstep. Could I come in?'

Janet could kill that silly office girl. She hadn't been here so she didn't know how ill Paula was. ‘No. Not till I've asked Paula.'

‘So who are you?'

She pulled herself up to her full five foot two inches and said proudly, ‘I'm Paula's mother.'

He grinned. ‘Oh yes, I remember, she did say something about finding her long-lost mother. Now if you don't mind I'd like to speak to Paula.'

‘I do mind.'

He laughed. ‘I do have my rights.'

‘What rights?' She disliked his arrogant attitude.

‘The rights to see the child.'

‘I don't think you have.'

‘Do you want me to make a fuss?'

Janet looked at him and realized he was a man who was used to getting what he wanted. There wasn't any way she was going to let him take Janie from Paula. ‘I hope you haven't come here with the idea of taking Paula's daughter away from her?'

He laughed again. ‘I can't think of anything more distasteful than a screaming infant.'

‘So why are you here?'

‘I would like to see Paula in private and what I have to say I don't want to discuss in front of a complete stranger.'

Janet couldn't think straight. What could she say? ‘Wait here, I'll see if it's convenient.' She went inside, closed the door and leant against it for a few moments, trying to compose herself. She was shaking from head to toe. What did he want? She would kill him if he attempted to take Paula and Janie from her. What was he here for?

Paula looked up and smiled when Janet walked into the garden. ‘Who was that at the door?'

Janet was pleased she was having one of her good days, and went to sit on the bench next to her. Janie was asleep in her pushchair.

‘Paula. Trevor is at the front door.'

Janet watched the colour drain from her daughter's face.

‘What does he want?'

‘I don't know, he wants to see you.'

‘Does he know I'm ... you know?'

Janet shook her head. ‘Do you want to see him?'

‘Why not?' She stood up.

‘Are you sure? What if he wants to ... ?'

Paula gently touched her hand. ‘Don't worry about Janie. She hasn't got his name on her birth certificate so he hasn't any claims on her. Besides, he can't stand children.'

‘So what does he want?'

She laughed. ‘Perhaps he wants to whisk me away to some foreign climes. Bring him in and let's find out.'

Janet reluctantly did as Paula asked. She stood at the kitchen window watching him, while arranging the flowers he'd brought. First he kissed Paula but he didn't make any attempt to look at Janie. Perhaps she had misjudged him. He put his arm round Paula and they were soon deep in conversation. Then Janet noticed Paula's face change. It was suddenly full of anger.

She stood up and screamed, ‘Get out! Get out! Mum, come quick! Get him out of here.'

Janet raced from the kitchen. ‘What have you said to her?'

He stood looking cool and calm and slightly amused.

Sobbing, Paula fell into Janet's arms. ‘He wants his wife to adopt Janie.'

‘What?'

‘She can't have any children as I was telling Paula here. I told her I knew of this girl who was in trouble and Glenda was good enough to say she'd love to adopt the baby. She'd have a nanny and wouldn't want for anything.'

‘Get out,' shouted Janet. ‘I can't believe you've just said that. To come here with such a ...' Janet couldn't think of the right word. ‘Now get out of my house at once.' Janet broke away from Paula and began pushing Trevor along the path.

‘Kindly take your hands off me, woman.' He brushed the sleeve of his jacket.

Janet looked round for something to hit him with. She bent down and picked up a flowerpot full of bright red cascading geraniums. When she raised it above her head a look of horror spread across his face and he ran out of the back gate as the flowerpot crashed against the post, leaving a trail of earth and plants behind him.

Paula, despite her tears, began to laugh hysterically. ‘I can't believe you've just done that,' she sobbed.

‘Paula, I'm so sorry. I would never have let him in if I'd thought he was going to upset you. Why has he suddenly turned up?'

They sat down again.

‘He's got a bloody nerve. For some unknown reason he was telling Glenda—that's his wife - about Janie. It seems she's been a bit broody and fretful lately and decided she would like a baby. Anyway, he told her he knew of someone who'd had a baby and wanted it adopted. He said he was willing to pay.'

‘What?'

‘That's Trevor. He thinks he can buy anyone and anything, and to him Janie is just another commodity.'

‘He didn't tell his wife the baby was his?'

‘No. He did say I could go and see her whenever I wanted and that would be a good excuse for us to start over again.'

Janet sat with her mouth open. ‘I can't believe you've just said all that.'

Paula began to cry. ‘Promise me that you'll never let him take her from you.'

‘I promise.'

‘He has a lot of powerful friends.'

Janet held her close. The thought that quickly flitted across her mind was, so has Danny.

Janie stirred.

Paula smiled and, with the tears glistening on her cheeks, looked at her daughter. ‘It seems our little bird will be wanting feeding again.'

 

That night Janet lay thinking about Trevor. She was worried. Could he take Janie from her when Paula was no longer ... ? Her brain wouldn't let the words form in her head. He had upset Paula, and Janet knew stress was bad for her. Could he have any hold over her?

The next day Trevor's name was not mentioned, but just as Janet had predicted, Paula was having a bad day. She was in pain and only wanted to sleep. Even Janie failed to bring a smile to her sad face. Janet was angry that Trevor could think he could just waltz back into her daughter's life, causing her so much stress. Did he know about the cancer?

That morning Sue came round and Janet managed to tell her what had happened, while Paula was sleeping. She was so angry.

‘So what's going to happen?'

‘Nothing. I'm going to phone Danny. He has a lawyer and he can find out what rights Trevor has, but I don't think he has any.'

‘Then what?'

‘I think Danny will find a way of keeping him away.'

A smile filled Sue's angry face. ‘Now that's something I'd like to see.'

After Sue left, and while Paula continued to sleep, Janet phoned Danny at his office.

He was outraged and demanded Trevor's address.

‘No, don't do anything that would upset Paula.'

‘The bastard. He can't go round saying things like that. Does he know how ill she is?'

‘I don't know. Yesterday she had a good day and you know how well she looks sometimes.'

He didn't reply and Janet knew he was too choked to do so.

She continued, ‘I'm sorry if I've upset you but I just had to tell someone.'

‘I'm glad you did.'

‘You must have very soggy shoulders after all the tears I've shed on them.'

‘That's what friends are for. How is she today?'

‘Not too good.'

There was a pause on Danny's end of the phone. ‘I could get him done over, Jan.'

‘No, you mustn't. Look, I was wondering if you could see your solicitor and get things straight.'

‘I'll do that right away.'

‘Thanks. Why don't you and Tina pop over one evening?'

‘We'd like that. We'll give you a ring first, just to make sure it's OK. I'll find out a few things, then we can talk this through properly. I don't think he's got any rights to Janie, but I'll find out.'

‘Thanks. I look forward to seeing you both. Love to Tina. Take care.'

‘Bye, Jan.'

Although Danny was a big tough guy on the outside, Janet knew that when she'd replaced the receiver he would have a quiet smoke and be deep in thought. He was a true friend, always there when she needed him and she loved him dearly.

 

Even though Danny had tried to reassure Paula that Trevor couldn't take Janie, Janet could see it was still worrying her.

Tina told Janet that it had upset Danny when Paula had told him to drive carefully when they left.

‘D'you know, we sat in the car round the corner and had a good cry? How could she worry about us when she's ... ?' Tina couldn't finish the sentence.

Over the next month it broke Janet's heart that she could only sit and watch her daughter deteriorate. She was in so much pain. Her back had been playing her up and she was often very sick. Now the doctor called every few days and a nurse came in every day.

‘She may well have to go into hospital as she gets near the end,' said the doctor one day, as he and Janet stood in the kitchen.

‘No, I don't want her to.' Janet's voice was full of fear.

‘It might be better.'

‘I can look after her.' Janet wasn't going to let anyone take her daughter away.

‘You have the baby to look after as well.'

‘I get a lot of help.'

‘It will have to come.'

‘I don't want to lose her.' Tears filled Janet's eyes.

‘I'm afraid that is inevitable.'

‘I want her with me.'

The doctor gently tapped Janet's arm. ‘I'll see myself out.'

After he had left Janet sat and looked at Paula, who was sleeping. She wished with all her heart she could perform a miracle and cure her. If only she could turn the clock back twenty-six years. There would have been no way she would have parted with such a precious gift as her daughter.

It was Sunday 29 June and Janet had been up and down the stairs all evening. Janie was teething and very fretful, and Paula, who was in a lot of pain, was getting upset. It was almost midnight when Janet decided to phone Sue for help.

Janet hurried down the stairs with Janie in her arms when she saw Sue's car pull up outside the house. ‘I hope you didn't mind me calling you out at this time of night but I'm at my wits' end,' she said softly.

Sue quietly closed the front door behind her. ‘I would have been furious if you hadn't. Give Janie to me.'

‘She's teething, poor little mite. Look at her red cheeks. I was worried Paula might get too agitated and restless if she hears her.'

Sue gave a slight smile. ‘Don't worry, I'll see to her. I've been all through this with my two. I brought some gel with me.' She took the baby from Janet. ‘You go on up to Paula. How is she?'

‘Not a lot of change since you saw her earlier. She's having such a job to keep anything down and she's lost so much weight. I'm terrified I'm going to hurt her every time I bathe her or change her bed. It's very hard for me not to keep crying. I can't bear to see her like this.'