Witchblood (23 page)

         We stayed silent and motionless, and feeling the comfort of his arms around me, I allowed myself to give in to the memories of my childhood. My father was a man who’d given everything to me as a child, and lost everything as I grew into an adult. My eyes filled and as my emotions threatened to spill out, I felt Daniel turn me round to face him, so I could bury my face in his chest. Seconds later, Eva reappeared.

         ‘She’s not bought a plot here. The ceremony is being held here, but the ashes are being taken to your grave, Jess. We should have thought of that.’

         ‘Right, let’s get Jessie home and we can go and visit the grave tonight, if you’re up to it?’ Daniel said, turning to me. ‘There’s no point in going now Jess, as you won’t be able to get close until they’ve all left.’

         I stared ahead, unwilling to leave the place where my father was and drawn to the tiny remains of what family I had left.

         ‘Come on,’ Eva said gently, touching my elbow and steering me zombie-like out of the trees and back towards the car park. Halfway across the lawn I froze and seeing the reason immediately, Eva and Daniel turned and stood in front of me, blocking my view and holding me to them. To any onlooker, it would have looked like a girl breaking down with grief, being comforted by her companions, but it felt completely different. Their arms were like steel ropes binding me as my blood simmered, my ears straining to listen to what my eyes could no longer see.

         ‘I told you it started at two-thirty, not three,’ the girl’s voice said.

         ‘I said I’m sorry, didn’t I? Come on, I bet they’ve only just gone in.’ His voice shot through me like electric currents. I felt the hairs on my body stand up and my muscles tense, but the iron bindings held me still.

         ‘I’m sorry, Luke. It’s just so hard. I’d never been to a funeral a month ago and now I’ve been to two.’ Alex’s voice sounded soft and broken. I longed to see her.

         ‘Daniel, let me see,’ I said.

         ‘No, it will be too much for you. We don’t know how strong you are yet, and Eva and I don’t want to test it here. We may not be able to hold you back.’

         ‘I don’t want to kill her, I just want to see her,’ I whispered.

         ‘It’s not her I’m worried about.’

         I gave him a little shove and stretched on tiptoe to see just over the top of their shoulders, as they held me even tighter.

         They both looked thinner than I remembered, and were wearing sombre black suits I’d never seen before. I wondered briefly if they’d been bought for my funeral. Luke turned slightly and I saw his face. He was paler than I remembered and there were hollows under his eyes. He looked older and the carefree boyish quality had gone. He was a man now.

         As my exceptional eyesight zoomed in I noticed more, that the cold February wind had stung his cheeks, making them glow, inviting and pink. Alex’s were glowing too, but they didn’t draw me in the same. I felt my head pound as I was torn between love and lust - bloodlust. As I stared, I’d swear he paused a second, his step faltering as his eyes flicked in my direction.

         ‘Shhhhh,’ Daniel purred in my ear, with a low rumble more like a lion than a kitten. ‘Jessie, you’re doing really well.’

         I relaxed a tiny bit and lowered myself behind their wall, averting my eyes and looking up at Daniel. His beautiful face drew me in and I let his calming emotions wash over me. I closed my eyes, opened my barriers and let him in. He became a thick fog in my mind, making me forget them both. All I saw was Daniel and his love for me. I felt Eva release her hold on me and I opened my eyes to see her stand back a step, as Daniel bent down towards me. He gently held my face and crooned,

‘Jessie, Jessie,’ before his lips touched mine in the gentle kiss I

craved. I pulled him into me and crushed my lips against his, trying to lose myself, but failing. I pulled away and the fog cleared as I looked round his shoulder to see Luke and Alex disappear into the chapel, the door closing with a sudden and unnecessary slam.

         Eva tensed, ready to pounce, expecting me to run, to chase, to kill. Daniel stepped forward and placed his cool hand on my arm, and I felt the desire, the pull, but somehow, now he was out of sight, I could control myself and I managed a weak smile.

         ‘Let’s go,’ I said, not wanting to ruin the plans I’d so carefully put into place.

I was curled up on my favourite couch, Daniel by my side and Eva on the opposite couch.

         ‘As you know, I was planning a trip to London to see Bradley off to Texas later tonight, but maybe considering today’s events, I shouldn’t go?’ Eva said, contemplating us both.

        
No!  She couldn’t stay; my plan would never work.

         Daniel quickly glanced my way and I wondered if he’d heard my thoughts. Damn! I quickly smiled at him and snuggled up, feeling his mental antennae probing my mind delicately. Feeling more than a little guilty I blanked my mind, and started purposefully thinking of the two of us enjoying a romantic evening in, alone, letting him think my plans were for nothing more than re-igniting our relationship. After all, it wasn’t a total lie, and after the events of the afternoon I realised that even though my feelings for Luke were as strong as ever, I couldn’t be trusted not to harm him. I remembered as I watched him walk away with Alex’s arm linked in his, the feeling of jealousy and possessiveness that surged through my body. Luke was mine. I wanted him, but I couldn’t have him. I didn’t trust the intensity of my feelings for him. They definitely had a darker quality to them now.

         I knew I belonged with Daniel, certainly for the time being, and I felt happier and calmer when I was with him. I looked up, smiling innocently and he nodded very slightly as if understanding my feelings and looked back to Eva.

         ‘Eva, I think Jessie will be just fine here with me tonight, and I’m sure she’ll be perfectly fine going with me to the grave tonight. There’ll be no threat,’ he said.

         ‘Hmm, I’m not sure. If it upsets her, we don‘t know how she’ll react. You can’t control her Dan,’ she said, looking at me with an intensity that seemed to see right through me.
Could she read me too?

         ‘Look, Eva, you should go. I’ve decided after today that there’s no rush to say goodbye to my dad. It was hard seeing Luke today,’
OK, slight understatement,
‘and I think it would do me good to stay in tonight. I can wait till you’re back from London, if you like?’ I said, trying to look tired, but resolute.

         Her eyebrows shot up, questioning my motives, but thankfully, as I snuggled closer to Daniel and he smiled back, she seemed to be as taken in by my excuse as he was.

         ‘OK, I did want to go to London, there’s something I wanted to pick up, but I’ll be back on Monday and we can go to the cemetery then, if you like.’ She smiled at me before turning to Daniel and adding, ‘Daniel, you should get Jess to practice some telekinesis this weekend, while her emotions are still fresh.’

         ‘That’ll be fun,’ I said, unable to keep the sarcasm from my voice.

         ‘Well, make it fun, because the sooner you can control it and make yourself useful, the sooner Sebastian will give you some freedom.’

        
Hmm, she had a point!

Chapter Eleven

Once Eva had left for London I began to put my plan into action. All I wanted was some ‘alone time’, some time to be myself and say goodbye to my past, and the future I’d never have. I fully intended to keep my promise and even with the renewed vision of Luke fresh in my memory, seeing him again was never my intention. Although it would be nice!

         I removed the photo of Luke from my bedside table, but instead of putting it back in the now almost empty box, I took it over to the crammed bookshelf in the far corner of my room and placed him on a high shelf. It was somewhere I could see him if I sought him out, but where he wouldn’t be the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes. I moved other Luke themed knick-knacks to similar locations; but I remained resolute. I didn’t want to forget my past, I just wanted to move on, but it was hard. It was so, so hard. I stood and stared at all the memories of Luke and refused to let a tear escape, as my attention was suddenly drawn to the window by a soft fluttering noise.

         I started over towards the window, but as always when I’m in pain, Daniel’s head popped round my door and his slim, toned jeans-clad body followed a second later.

         ‘Come here,’ he said gruffly, as he sat on my bed and beckoned me over with his finger.

         I went to him gladly and he pulled me over him, so that we lay side by side on the bed.

         ‘You’re doing the right thing Jessie,’ he said.

         ‘I know.’

         He pulled me into him and I let him kiss me. Boy, did he know how to kiss! His lips pressed against mine insistently; his hand cupped underneath my head and held me. His tongue darted into my mouth, causing electric pulses to shoot down my spine. Initially his eyes remained open, smouldering with passion and need as we tasted each other.

         A few minutes later I was panting between his kisses, heat coursing through me and setting me alight. Images of Daniel pressing himself against me mingled with images of Luke, and my fangs broke out, putting a stop to the kissing.

         ‘Jessie, I want you to bite me,’ he invited, straining his head away from me so I could see the muscles in his neck, taut, hard.

         ‘No, not tonight. I’m not ready,’ I said, knowing that there’d be no phone call to interrupt us this time, and knowing the consequences that tasting his blood would lead too. I was not ready to go down that path. I wouldn’t be able to resist.

         Disappointment flashed across his features as he gazed broodingly into my eyes, searching for a reason. I knew he wondered whether it was because I wanted Luke, but when he realised I was telling the truth, that I simply wasn’t ready, he smiled and leaned forward to kiss me again. This time he was gentle and tender.

         ‘I guess I haven’t fully converted you, have I?’ he said, with a grin.

         ‘Um, what do you mean?’ I said, piqued, thinking he was implying that I wasn’t a fully-fledged vampire, because I wouldn’t jump into bed with him.

         ‘The music?’

         ‘Oh! Well, actually it’s perfectly suitable for the job I was doing before you came in.’ I smiled again, privately thinking that the pounding rock music perfectly suited my increased heart rate and passionate tangle of emotions.

         ‘Right, well, I’ll leave you to your rock bands, but you need to feed Jessie; you’re starting to look pale again.’

         ‘OK, I’ll be down in a bit. I want to watch those ‘Friends’ DVDs that Eva bought me. Alex and I used to watch the re-runs at university.’

Sometime in the early hours of the morning, feeling confident I’d be able to put my plan into action later that day, I went to bed. Sleep found me easily, but the dreams were back and Luke’s face haunted me, pale and drawn. In one dream I was walking up the aisle towards my groom, but when he lifted my veil his face froze in fear. My eyes were his eyes, and I watched from his perspective,smiling at him until suddenly my teeth started crumbling and falling out of my mouth, leaving nothing but two fearsome-looking fangs.

         I awoke and felt the impossible - beads of cold sweat had formed on my forehead. Vampires didn’t sweat; this was impossible.
Was I dreaming again?
I turned over and slipped into another dream.

         I was curled in Daniel’s arms - my protector. I felt safe, happy. I upturned my face to be kissed and his showed disgust. Shock blasted through me as his face morphed into Luke’s, full of betrayal, revulsion and hatred.

         Another, a snapshot this time. I watched Alex walk past me. I called to her but she walked straight past, smiling at someone. I watched as she ran up to a man and he wrapped his arms round her. As they turned back to face me I saw his face; it was Luke.