Witchful Thinking (26 page)

I took a deep breath and noticed that the expressions of concern among the audience had little by little melted away; instead smiles highlighted each face. And I didn’t think they were entirely due to the fact that my speech delivery skills were seriously lacking and probably pretty amusing. Even though I’d promised myself I wouldn’t, I glanced at Rand.

And, surprisingly, Rand wore a smile. My head felt light again, but from—relief. It wasn’t that I thought he’d forgiven me about the bonding stuff or anything as big as that. But his smile felt like sunshine, warming me from the inside out.

I cleared my throat again and with newly found confidence floating through me, I hurried to my conclusion. “I ask all of you now to accept my terms. If you object to anything I’ve said or you prefer a more traditional
monarchy, I, um, will stand down. I’ll have to … stand down.”

As soon as I finished, someone started to clap. It quickly rippled through the audience and resulted in unanimous applause. Everyone rose to their feet, stretching their arms high above their heads. I could have mistaken it for the closing ceremony of the Olympics or something—like I was Apolo Ohno skating my ass off. But, no, I was still Jolie Wilkins, Queen of the Underworld. And the only other thing of which I felt certain was that I would never be in demand as a public speaker …

The people of my kingdom offering me their undying support, I could feel tears starting in my eyes, tears of pride and optimism. I held up my hands and tried to quiet the buzzing throng as I fought to restrain my emotions. The last thing I wanted to do was collapse into a blubbering mess.

“Are there any questions?”

Another woman waved her hand and I nodded in her direction, giving her silent permission to speak.

“Those on Bella’s side who were killed?” she began. “Will they also be brought back to life?”

Someone else added. “Aye, I had heard that too.”

A woman nodded and turned to face the others before bringing her attention back to me. “My brother fought and died for Bella, but he never endorsed her cause. He was just frightened to refuse her.”

I swallowed hard. “We are in the process of securing a list of Bella’s fallen soldiers and we will be reanimating them.”

“How does Bella know who lived and died if she is imprisoned?” someone called out.

“We are relying on the help of our magic to assist us in determining those who survived and those who … 
did not.” At the appearance of a few frowns, due, no doubt, to their disapproval of reanimating our enemies, I continued. “All of Bella’s soldiers will be obligated to take the same oath each of you did as well as drink the truth serum to ensure the safety of our kingdom.”

“No more questions, please,” Mercedes said, suddenly appearing beside me and ushering me back into the Green Room. “Thank you for your loyalty and support,” she said in conclusion as she closed the doors tightly.

“I imagine that didn’t go quite the way you hoped it would,” I said in a small voice, not really sure what else I could or should say.

Mercedes faced me but she didn’t seem angry. “I am not in a position to criticize. You must rule your kingdom as you see fit.”

I was surprised, expecting her to read me the riot act. Mercedes dropped into a curtsy and left the room. I didn’t have any time to weigh her reaction because Sinjin was suddenly before me.

“You did well,” he said.

I shook my head and offered him an incredulous expression that said I didn’t believe him by a long shot.

A large smile widened his beautiful mouth. “Perhaps your next tutorial will be in public speaking.”

It wasn’t like I thought I’d done a good job addressing my people, but I was happy I’d done it and even happier it was over. It had been an hour or so since my speech and after telling the house staff to take the night off, I was alone, relaxing in my bedroom, watching
How Clean Is Your House?
on TV. I’d changed my tailored suit for gray sweats and a pink UCLA sweatshirt.

Just as Kim Woodburn was advising me on how to clean a stovetop with vinegar, there was a knock on my door.

“Come in,” I called out, not even glancing over to find out who was at the door. Instead my attention was consumed by how well vinegar could cut thirty-year-old grease.

“Jolie.”

It was Rand.

I craned my neck in his direction so quickly, I felt an explosion of pain straight up the back of my neck. I quickly magicked it away but there wasn’t anything I could do about my frantic heartbeat. Well, maybe there was, but I wasn’t sure slowing my heart rate by way of magic was really in my best interests.

“Hi,” I said dumbly.

“May I come in?” he asked, and I realized he hadn’t come in yet. I nodded and he entered, closing the door behind him. Then he turned to face me.

He was wearing dark brown pants and a dark green sweater. His hair looked as if it had been freshly cut, but there was a bit of shadow beginning to cover his cheeks and chin. He was beautiful.

“I … I came to congratulate you,” he said and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly—like he was as uncomfortable as I was.

“Oh, thanks,” I responded, not knowing what else to say. “You mean for my stellar speech?” I added with a self-conscious laugh, hoping to alleviate the tension in the room.

Rand nodded and offered me a quick smile. “You did very well.”

“Thank you,” I said in a small voice.

He eyed the armchair beside my bed and glanced up at me. “Do you mind if I sit?”

“No, go ahead,” I said, surprised that he wanted to stay.

He sat down and the heady scent of his aftershave
danced through the air, teasing and tempting. I managed to keep my cool, though. Or at least I think I did.

“I think it took a great amount of courage and integrity to do what you did today.” He paused for a second or two. “I’m sure it wasn’t easy to announce your plans as Queen and I’m proud of you for doing it. I also think your ideas are very honorable and just.”

I swallowed hard. “I’ve told you all along that this didn’t have to be a monarchy in the old-fashioned sense, that we could shape it … together.”

Rand nodded and his lips were tight, as if he was deep in thought. “Yes, I realize that now more than I did before.”

I couldn’t help the surprise that tinged my voice when I responded, “Wow, was my speech that good?”

Rand laughed and shook his head. “Perhaps not in your delivery but in your meaning.”

“I admit I was surprised to see you in the audience.”

“Why?”

I shrugged. “I thought you wanted to be a renegade?”

“I was curious as to what you had to say …”

I suddenly felt like I wanted to cut to the chase, wanted to find out why he was here, what he was doing in my room. “Rand, why did you come?”

Rand expelled a pent-up breath of air. “When I was listening to your speech, I was struck by the fact that my being a renegade will not benefit anyone. I can do much more good working with you than against you.”

“I never imagined you were against me?”

He nodded. “Perhaps that was too strong a word. I seem to be putting my foot in my mouth.” He paused for a few seconds, as if searching for the best way to communicate his thoughts. “What I came to ask you, Jolie, is whether or not you would consider the role of a chief advisor, someone who could work hand in hand with you … someone who could help you.”

“And let me guess, you want to submit your application for the job?”

He chuckled. “I would like to offer my services, yes.”

I nodded, thinking it sounded like a good idea. “Then you accept me as your monarch?”

He was quiet for a second or two and then nodded. “Yes, I do.”

“And how would you envision this role?”

He shrugged. “As I mentioned before, I was in the employ of Queen Victoria so I’m very well versed in the minutiae of governance. I could offer my service and guidance should you ever require them. I know the politics of the various creatures of the Underworld; I’ve done negotiating, leading, and organizing of factions in the past. I could help you navigate through situations that you might not be familiar with, give you insight into certain situations so you can make the most informed decisions.” He took a deep breath. “I would never overstep my boundaries and I would absolutely recognize your rightful place as Queen of the Underworld.”

The idea actually sounded incredibly good—I knew nothing about ruling and Rand did. And not only that, but I also admired him greatly. The only thing that worried me was the fact that we’d be working so closely again—and we hadn’t exactly resolved the issues between us. And as to the whole bonding argument we’d had? Hmm, that was a matter I didn’t feel like discussing—not when I was still flying high from my first public speaking event. And besides, I didn’t always want to be the one bringing up our relationship. If Rand wanted to make things work, the figurative ball was in his court. I was tired of playing relationship tennis.

“I realize things aren’t exactly comfortable between us at the moment,” he started. I had to wonder if he’d been reading my mind.

“I wasn’t going to bring that up.”

He dropped his gaze to his long legs and stretched them out before him, leaning into the chair with a heavy sigh. “I care about you, Jolie.”

“I care about you too, Rand.”

He leaned over with his elbows on his knees and appeared to gaze at something outside my window. There wasn’t anything out there but the pitch darkness of night. He faced me and smiled sadly. “Now that you are Queen, things are going to be different.”

“What does that even mean?” I demanded, my voice irritated.

“It means there will be pressures on you and every decision you make, personal and otherwise, will be in the spotlight. Your life is no longer your own, Jolie.”

“How does that affect you and me?”

He swallowed. “I’m a private person.”

I shook my head as annoyance snaked through me. “Maybe it’s best to just focus on the fact that we both want what’s best for the Underworld.”

“Said like a true monarch,” Rand said sadly.

Then he stood up to leave as if his whole purpose in coming to my room was to offer some garbled, bizarre observation and then just disappear into the black night. Never mind; tonight I wasn’t in the mood to fight. No, I was sticking with my new plan, which was to rule my kingdom my own way. My focus from here on out was only going to be on the Underworld. I wasn’t going to bother myself with Rand and his hang-ups.

“Have a good night,” I said dismissively and turned toward the TV again, only to see the credits of
How Clean Is Your House?
Damn men and their bad timing.

Rand didn’t say anything more but obediently showed himself out. The sound of the door closing made me sad, but at the same time I actually felt proud of myself. Strong and feminine. Hmm, maybe Queen Elizabeth
had it right when she declared herself the Virgin Queen. Maybe I’d follow in her footsteps. I mean, it’s not like it would be tough because I was already a Queen and basically an uncommitted virgin now …

I was asleep and dreaming but aware of the fact that I was dreaming. Even being aware of the dream state, I didn’t seem able to control the images flowing through my mind. Memories … memories of a time when I had battled a dragon—well, really the fairy Dougal. Dougal was first-hand man, or fae, to Odran, and the only reason Odran had ever agreed to become our ally against Bella was the fact that I’d bested Dougal in magic-to-magic combat.

As the dream dragon glared down at me with his glowing red eyes, fear pounded through me. It didn’t seem to make any difference that I knew how this feat ended—with me the victor—nope, fear was fear and didn’t seem to care about the details. But any fear I felt was nothing compared with the fear in Rand’s eyes.

And Rand suddenly took the spotlight of my dreamscape as memories intercepted my unconscious mind and swirled together until I was reliving a time long gone.

“What’s going on?” Rand demanded.

I started toward him. “It was the only way, Rand.”

“What was the only way?” He grabbed my shoulders, shaking me as if trying to get the words out faster than I could say them. “What the hell have you done?”

“She’s agreed ta defend herself against my best fairy,” Odran said.

Rand glanced up at him, fire spitting from his eyes. “No, your fairy will kill her.”

Odran nodded glumly. “Aye, Ah’ve told the lass boot she is determined.”

Rand faced me again. “Jolie, you will die, do you understand?”

“I just have to defend myself,” I said, repeating what I’d been telling myself over two hundred times already.

Rand shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. His strongest fairy could kill you without even trying.” He faced Odran again. “Call this off, Odran, Jolie won’t fight your fairy.”

Odran shook his head. “I cannae call it oof, it tis doone.”

“Goddammit!” Rand yelled and then immediately fell silent, his eyes pensive. His jaw was so tight, it twitched. “Let me take her place.”

“Rand, no.” This was my fight. “I have to do this.”

Odran shook his head again. “I grow tired ah this argument. Either step aside or I’ll ’ave ye restrained.”

Rand’s eyes were wild. “Jolie, run. Run as fast as you can.”

No sooner did he say it than two fairies grabbed his arms, pulling him away from me. Rand’s face was an angry mask, outrage etching his lips and eyes. He broad-sided one fairy with a burst of magic but as soon as he did so, another four surrounded him, all of them livid. Tears blossomed in my eyes as I watched him struggle to free himself.

“Run, Jolie,” he yelled, still flailing against his captors but I couldn’t run, couldn’t escape.

Jolie, just focus on protecting yourself. Focus on nothing else, do you understand?
Rand’s voice broke through my thoughts.

At the sound of his voice, tears sprang to my eyes.
I’m sorry. I didn’t realize what I was getting into
.

That doesn’t matter now, just focus on protecting yourself
.

Okay, I will
.

I don’t know what he plans on doing, but don’t be frightened; don’t let anything take your focus away from
your own protection. Whatever he does, you must ignore it
.