With This Heart (18 page)

“
I’m going to kiss you here, Abby,” he murmured with a raspy voice.

There was no time to offer a rebuttal or approval. His mouth found the cotton material and my eyes squeezed shut so tightly that I saw dancing stars. His lips pressed against my underwear and then his tongue found the same spot and licked slowly up and down. The cotton material was doing a poor job of protecting my nerve endings; if anything, the sensation of his tongue through the cotton only served to make each lick even more dramatic.

I tried to find words to fill the silence pressing against the camper’s dewy windows, but noises of pleasure were the only sounds I could muster. My hands found Beck’s unruly hair and I braided my fingers through it, pressing him against me harder.

Holy. Mother. Of. GOD.

He responded to my goading. His finger found my underwear and he stroked up and down as his tongue worked tortuous magic. I knew I was seconds away from orgasming in the back of that old camper.

“
Abby, I’m going to push your underwear aside,” Beck declared, and my mouth fell open. I pushed my tongue to the roof of my mouth, trying to calm my nerves as he brushed the cotton against my inner thigh. His warm breath hit me and I was helpless to anything but my need for pure, carnal pleasure. My back arched and I dropped my hands to the floor so I could dig my fingers into the clothes beneath me. I raked my nails against the fabric as his breath fell closer to my sweet spot, to the bundle of nerves that needed attention or I would combust into a flame of unfilled desire.

“
You’re so beautiful, so perfect.” Beck complimented me with his deep, gravelly voice as his finger found my me and rubbed in slow, sensual circles. How many times had he done this to a girl? He was good, too good, to be as inexperienced as I was. That thought should have made me feel self-conscious, but his words and touch emboldened me. I didn’t care what girls he’d learned on, I just wanted him to use his skills on me.

“
Beck, I’ve never…” I gasped out as a crash of pleasure snaked up my spinal cord. “It feels so…” The pad of his finger found the exact spot that curled my toes under. “Ahhh,” I spoke with an uneven tone, not understanding what parts of my brain were forming my words in that moment.

The next few moments happened in quick frames. His fingers were rubbing me into oblivion, and then his mouth joined. He lapped me up like I was the best thing he’d ever tasted, like I was ice cream melting down the side of a cone, too good to spare even a drop. I was riding each new wave of pleasure. Just as his finger pushed inside me, his tongue stroked my clit and I moaned his name again and again as he brought me to a mind blowing orgasm.

“
Jesus…oh my…God, BECK,” I moaned, collecting small pieces of the world around me: my fingers digging into his hair, my hips pressing up to meet his mouth, the rain pelting the roof of the Camper.

“
Did you just include me in the Holy Trinity?” he laughed, shifting to sit back on his heels so he could see my face. I took the opportunity to stretch out like a cat; the awkward confines of the Camper had finally sunk into my achy muscles.

“
You freaking deserve it.” I smiled up at him, still coming down from my orgasm-induced high.

“
You should take your underwear off. They’re still wet,” he offered, already beginning to drag them down my hips. The cotton slipped down past my knee and I helped kick them off the rest of the way.

I should have felt weird about being partly naked in front of a deeply sexy guy, but he’d already done something so intimate to me that taking off my underwear seemed like nothing.

“
I don’t want to stop yet.” I smiled up at him and shot up onto my knees. His bemused smile was all the answer I needed.

“
There’s no rush, Abby. We have the rest of the road trip, plus you don’t even have the nerve to tell me your true feelings yet.” He held a wicked gleam in his eyes. He was fishing for my feelings. A hot, way-out-of-my-league guy was all but begging for me to tell him what I thought of him. What a joke. Life could be so fucking funny sometimes.

So I started laughing and couldn’t stop. I laughed at his beautiful hazel eyes and brown hair. I laughed at the dimples that dotted the edges of his mouth, tugging at my heart in ways I could never have imagined before. I was laying there with crazy, rat hair in an oversized shirt and zero makeup. I had a scar the size of Montana on my chest while his chest was perfectly unmarred, tanned, and chiseled.

“
Beckham,” I started in a serious tone, “you are the strangest, hottest, funniest person I’ve ever met.” I paused to let my compliments sink in, and then I cupped my hands around my mouth.

“
I LIKE YOU!” I shouted so he’d know how I felt when he’d screamed the same words to me in the ocean. My voice ricocheted through the Camper, finding its mark when Beck’s smile spread twice as big.

“
Have you ever said that to someone before?” Beck asked with a quizzical brow.

I huffed and glared at him. “Don’t flatter yourself, bucko.”

He nodded but couldn’t wipe the grin off. “Who else?” He reached out and wrapped his hands around my hips, tugging me closer to him. Our breath mingled between our mouths.

I rolled my eyes. “Countless movie stars. Dozens of them. You are hardly special at all. I tell Orlando Bloom that I love him pretty much daily.”

Beck’s head dropped forward as he chuckled. “Fair enough.”

His hands snuck under my shirt, dragging across my skin and squeezing my hips. The move emboldened me and I leaned forward to kiss him. It felt like I lit a match. He pressed me down onto his lap and I rolled my hips, fighting the urge to just let him take me completely.

“
Are we going to have sex?” I asked once he lifted his head again.

“
Not tonight,” he answered, squeezing my hips.

“
Then I should probably put some underwear on,” I answered.

“
Probably so,” he relented, letting me go.

I shifted around him and started digging in my bag for a fresh pair and some shorts. The rain was still tapping on the roof, but it had lightened up since we arrived at the rest stop. Once I had all of my clothes back on, I grabbed a hooded sweatshirt out of my bag and picked up the black urn.

“
Want to spread some ashes with me?” I asked, cradling the urn in my arm.

Beck had pulled on a hooded jacket as well and was still wearing his dark jeans. We looked like a modern day Bonnie and Clyde, on the run from the world.

“
What’s in there?” he asked.

“
My dog, remember?” I answered swiftly. I feared he would ask again eventually, but I wanted to keep it private. He would make fun of me if I told him the truth.

“
I still don’t believe you. It’s not your old heart, is it?” His eyes were glued to the urn.

“
Ew! What? No, I don’t know what they did with my heart after the procedure. It’s in a biohazard bag somewhere probably.” The idea of spreading the ashes of my old heart
was
poetic, but mostly just plain disgusting.

Beck nodded with a hint of a frown. I think he secretly thought he’d been right about that this whole time.

“
Where do you want to spread them?” he asked, climbing into the front seat so he could exit on his side.

“
Just around the rest stop,” I answered.

“
That’s so gross, Abby,” Beck laughed.

“
Not where people will walk or anything!” I exclaimed, feeling defensive. “Maybe they have a garden or something.”

Surprisingly, the rest stop had no garden. I guess your tax dollars don’t allow for those sorts of things. Instead, Beck hummed the tune of that sad song they always play on dog adoption commercials as I dumped some ashes onto the grass behind the bathrooms. It stuck to the ground. The rain made it instantly soggy, like a gray soup. The whole time I tried to be somber, but in the end it didn’t work. Beck made me laugh all the way back to camper. It was impossible to be sad with him around.

While he unrolled our sleeping bags and made a little pallet for us to sleep on, I found my phone to check if I’d missed any calls from Caroline or my mom. The screen was black when I tried to swipe it open. Dead. I’d forgotten to charge it the night before and now any missed calls would have to wait for the morning.

“
Is your phone dead as well?” Beck asked from behind me.

“
Yeah. Stupid rain storm,” I huffed, tossing my phone back into my purse. “Can we eat our vending machine meal now?”

Beck winked. “Only the best for you.”

…

The next morning, Beck and I woke up late and ended up wandering into a diner to charge our phones and get some much-needed food. Crackers and cookies could only tide me over for so long.

Angie’s Southern Diner looked straight out of the 1950’s. The booths were covered in red and white striped upholstery. The tables had a red gloss coating. Elvis blared from the crackly speaker system and waitresses with tired expressions walked around in pink poodle skirts

“
This place is awesome,” I said, sliding into the booth seat. There was an outlet just beneath the table, so Beck and I both plugged in our phones so that they could charge while we ate.

“
Agreed, let’s open up a place like this back in Dallas.”

“
I’m in,” I answered, taking the menu from the waitress and offering her a quick ‘thanks’.

Beck ordered us two waters and then looked back toward me. “What would we call it?”

“
A and B’s Vending Machine Emporium,” I offered.

“
How about just: Abby Mae’s.”

I laughed. “We can’t serve any meat though.”

Beck’s eyes lit up. “Let’s replace all the meat with chocolate cake.”

Just then, the waitress came back and we had to scramble to decide what we wanted to order. I ended up ordering a salad that was “maybe organic” and Beck ordered a burger, fries, and chocolate milkshake.

“
That’s disgusting.” I scrunched my nose when the plate of heaping food was set in front of him.

I started picking at my salad with my fork. Suddenly, I was no longer satisfied with my heart healthy choice.

“
It might be terrible for me, but it is definitely
not
disgusting,” Beck clarified.

I rolled my eyes playfully.

“
How’s the salad?” he asked after swallowing a big bite of burger. I didn’t answer right away. I was distracted by his burger. It looked amazing. It had a meat patty, bacon, cheese, lettuce, onion, tomato, all shoved inside a buttery bun. The sounds Beck made as he chewed made me pierce my lettuce with a tad too much angst.

“
It’s great. Really…
fresh
,” I answered without meeting his eye.

“
So you definitely don’t want a bite of this burger? I mean, of course you wouldn’t,” he teased before taking another big bite. I watched him chew with a look of pure ecstasy written across his face.

“
You’d hate it anyway. It’s cheesy and juicy. Definitely not your style,” he added, wiping his mouth while holding the burger with his other hand.

Before I thought better of it, I pushed off my seat and leaned across the booth to take a giant bite out of his burger. It hardly fit in my mouth, but I chewed with a big smile on my face anyway. Beck sat there stunned, his hazel eyes locked onto my mouth. My taste buds weren’t prepared for the flavor at first, but after another moment my mouth adjusted and I closed my eyes, appreciating the fatty amazingness.

“
When’s the last time you had meat?” Beck asked, continuing to stare at me with amazement.

“
Over twelve years ago,” I said with a full mouth, not caring how unladylike I was being.

“
Damn, that was hot.” A slow grin unwound across his lips.

I didn’t take any more bites of his burger. That first one hit my stomach with a thud and I knew that if I had any more, I’d be paying for it later. We paid and waited for our phones to charge up before heading back toward the Camper. The plan was to head to San Antonio next. They have a Riverwalk with tons of shops and restaurants you can stroll down. It would be the final stop before we headed toward Odessa.

We hopped in the Camper and were heading toward San Antonio when I turned my phone on. A cluster of ‘Missed Calls’ popped up onto the screen. Most of them were from my mom and dad, but then there were a few from Caroline’s mom as well. A dark, twisted feeling pierced my gut.

I pressed play on the first voice mail.

“
Abby, please call home as soon as possible. I have no clue where you are, but if you don’t respond soon we’re going to contact the police. I need to talk to you about Caroline, sweetie. Please call me back immediately.”

I didn’t even hesitate; I dialed home and pressed the phone so hard against my ear that it was cutting off circulation.

“
Abby!” My mom exclaimed. She picked up after the first ring.

“
Mom, I’m fin-”

“
Where have you been?” she yelled into the phone, cutting me off.