With This Heart (14 page)

He nodded and took a microscopic step closer to me.
Smooth
. “Are you in school?”

I almost answered truthfully, but then I remembered how many details were involved, and I just decided he didn’t really need to know about my life. We were having fun at a party, so I lied.

“
I start in the fall.” Damn, that sounded truthful. I was getting pretty good at this whole deceit thing.

He nodded and then we awkwardly stood there for a moment. We’d pretty much exhausted all of the small talk I could think of. What was Beck talking about with the Dark Lord? Did they have a lot in common? More than he and I had in common? Was she explaining how hard it was to have big boobs? Fuck girls.

I peered over to the spot where I saw them earlier, but they weren’t there anymore. A sinking feeling developed in my gut like my insides were being ripped out. Did they go back to the hotel? Were they making out on our bed?

Jason took another step toward me and I could smell the ocean on his clothes. Or maybe I could just smell the ocean in the air. My head was spinning with images of Beck with another girl.

“
Did you like surfing? You were really good at it.” He was practically an inch away from me then and I could smell beer on his breath.

I forced myself to look up into his brown eyes. “Yeah, it was really fun. I’d like to do it again.”

“
I could take you again. Maybe in the morning?” His voice held so much promise of what else we could do in the morning.

I nodded and smiled up at him because I felt like crap and I wanted him to flirt with me. I liked the way it felt and I told myself it was okay because he was cute.

“
Abby, there probably won’t be time to surf before we hit the road tomorrow,” Beck stated behind me with a sharp tone. My heart leapt into my throat and I turned to find him staring past me, toward Jason. She Who Shall Not Be Named was staring past Beck at me. Oh please, enough with the stare off.

“
What? Last time I checked, our itinerary was fairly
loose
.” I crossed my arms over my chest, wondering what his motive was. If he liked me then he should do something about it, not just stand there.

Beck answered me simply with, “Not tomorrow.”

Interesting
.

I pulled my gaze from him and looked toward the girl behind him. “I don’t think we’ve met. I’m Abby,” I mentioned, extending my hand out toward her. She looked down at it with a puzzled expression before reaching to shake it.

“
I’m Lia,” she answered with a genuine smile. I was offering her a truce, and in that moment, the tension in the air started to melt away.
Slightly.

As soon as we released our handshake, a random drunk girl shouted from the other side of the bonfire, “Let’s play Drink or Dare!”

I laughed because it seemed so cliché, but to my surprise everyone instantly agreed and started shifting chairs into a circle. I’d never been to a party, but it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out the premise of Drink or Dare. Luckily, my drink of choice would be H2O. Everyone scrambled to position their collapsible chairs by their friends, and at the end of it all, I was stuck by Jason while Beck and Lia ended up on the other side of the bonfire. The hint of a smirk on her face told me she was pleased with the arrangement. Maybe she
was
a wizard. Witch. Whatever. Maybe she’s a dude.

If this were a movie, that’s the moment where I would have taken a big gulp of some kind of alcohol. Instead, I untwisted my water bottle cap and took a long sip. The same drunk girl that initiated the game a few minutes ago jumped up and clapped her hands.

“
I’ll go first! If you choose Dare, you can’t chicken out and choose Drink after you hear the dare! Those are the rules!” she instructed with what she probably thought was a cunning stare, when in reality it looked like a she was a winking pirate. Argh. Maybe being the only sober one would have its advantages.

After she’d perused the entire circle, her gaze landed on the guy to my right that was swaying back and forth in his chair. I leaned away from him, which brought me closer to Jason. He smiled down at me and propped his arm on the back of my chair.

“
Ian! Drink or Dare?” she called, stepping closer to him.

Ian grunted and stood up, obviously choosing dare. The entire ring of partygoers cheered and scooted to the edge of their seat in anticipation of his dare.

“
Strip your clothes off and jump in the ocean!” she demanded. Wow, this girl was going for the full monty right off the bat. What would this game end with? A giant orgy on the beach?

Without a moment’s hesitation, Ian turned to me and held out his beer, as if I was his assistant during his dare. I took it because I didn’t really have a choice, and then he gave me a loose grin and started to strip. This guy was less than a foot away from me and he was literally giving me a strip tease like I was a bachelorette. Best bonfire ever. He unpeeled his shirt and then flung it around his head like a helicopter before tossing it to a girl across the circle. She caught it with a wild cheer while he started on his pants. He let them drop onto the sand, as if they weren’t the second to last thing concealing his
member
from my gaze.

“
I’m a GROWER!” he yelled as he dropped his boxers and took off in a wild run toward the ocean. Everyone was laughing, but I just sat there, holding his beer and looking down at his Star Wars underwear, thinking how he’d regret not having them once he resurfaced from his wild dare.

Jason leaned in and whispered in my ear, “That was quite an introduction to Drink or Dare.” I heard him say it, but just as he began to speak, I shifted my gaze from Ian’s boxers up to Beck. He was watching me with his trademark grin, except the bonfire shadowed its appearance so that his features were masked in a mysterious glow. Staring at each other over that bonfire, it became clear that there were one million ways to view the world, but that Beck and I saw everything in the same wavelength. Like life was one big private joke that we got to share.

Ian didn’t return from his swim, and the girl that caught his shirt had wandered off after him, so the game had to continue without them. A girl sitting a few seats away from Lia volunteered to pick the next contestant. She stood and spun in a circle, but stopped on a dime when she reached Lia. Lia, of course, chose dare. The entire show seemed a little too rehearsed, and when her dare surfaced, I knew that it was.

“
Lia! Kiss one of the people sitting on either side of you. Your choice!” My stomach contents felt like they were about to surface all over the bonfire. Her choice my ass. There was a stoned guy practically asleep on the left side of Lia and perfect, amazing Beck on the other side. Lia did a wonderful show of feigned innocence, cupping her hand over her mouth and giggling.
Best actress ever
.

Beck was trying to catch my eye over the bonfire, but I couldn’t pull my gaze from Lia. She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and shifted her body toward Beck. I wondered if she ever played the Virgin Mary in any church plays. She definitely had the act down pat.

“
You okay there?” Jason asked, breaking me out of my daze. I looked down to see my hands wringing out the plastic bottle in my hand. I’d completely destroyed it while I’d been staring daggers at Lia.

“
Oh, yeah. I’m fine,” I lied, dropping the bottle onto my lap in an attempt to look normal.

I didn’t watch the kiss; I stared at the crackling flames and listened to everyone’s cat calls. It was a strange experience to behold. Fiery jealously didn’t sit well in my stomach and the longer I sat there while the game continued around me, the longer I thought I might explode. Jason got called on, but he opted to chug a beer rather than accept a dare. I was grateful for that. But then Beck was called upon.

The same girl that started the game off stood and pointed at Beck. “You have to give someone a lap dance. The hottest guy or girl here!”

I laughed, cracked up in fact, and the people around me shifted and gave me awkward stares. I admit that I looked crazy, but I just couldn’t let the universe off on this one. It needed to know how God damn funny it could be at times. Lia blushed and her friends cheered and gave her encouraging words. Everyone assumed Beck would give a lap dance to the girl who had kissed him and who was clearly the prettiest girl at the party.
Predictable
. But then Beck stood up and started walking around the bonfire toward me and I started laughing even harder.
A nervous laughter mixed with all the jealousy that had been building inside.

I hated Beck in that moment, but I almost felt like he was giving me the most thoughtful gift in the world. He was telling a group of strangers that he thought I was the one that deserved a lap dance. He stopped walking right in front of me and I stared at his stomach, hidden beneath a sexy black shirt.

“
Ms. Abby Mae, may I have the honor of giving you your first lap dance?” he asked with a mockingly serious tone.

I finally tilted my head up to his face. “I don’t think you can fit on my lap.”

He quirked an eyebrow. “Is that a challenge?”

Despite myself, I cracked a smile. I could feel my whole body shaking with a nervous energy. I hated the fact that everyone was staring at us and I had no clue what Beck would actually do. He hung his arms in the air and started shaking his hips to the beat of the music playing from someone’s iPod speakers. Everyone started clapping and egging him on. He turned around and shook his jean-clad butt in my face before I shoved him away playfully. He turned back around with a devilish grin, and in the next moment he shifted forward so that he was standing over me. I pressed back into my chair, feeling my adrenaline spike. I mashed my lips together as he stretched his legs on either side of my hips and leaned down so that his face was hovering over mine. It wasn’t what I imagined he’d do. He was practically on top of me, pinning me to my chair.

He knew that I was squirming in my seat, so when he ground his hips down onto mine, making the entire female population of the party squeal loudly, I scowled up at him with an angry stare.

“
Don’t like it, Abby?” he challenged, knowing that I obviously did.

“
You aren’t even doing it right,” I answered, trying to shift my head to the side so that our lips were farther apart.

“
Show me how you do it then,” he challenged with a threatening smirk.

Like fucking hell.

“
Yeah!” everyone cheered in agreement. It wasn’t their opinions that ultimately made me shift forward and push Beck back into the sand. It was the fact that Caroline would have been jumping up and down telling me to grow a pair and show Beck what I wanted. It was the fact that Lia was scowling over at us with a sour grimace. I was learning that jealousy was a pretty strong motivator.

Beck sat back in the sand with his hands propping him up. I shifted to stand in front of him and tried to think of every lap dance scene I’d seen on TV and in movies. Obviously, I’d never given one before, but I had good rhythm and a strong goal: make Beck lose his mind. I closed my eyes and let the world slip away, thinking of Beck and what I’d do to him if there were no consequences and no casualties (my ego). I strung my hands up into my hair and slowly shifted my hips to a slow rhythm. I felt sensual and powerful in that moment as my body twisted to the left and right.

I inched closer to him and he leaned forward to wrap his hands around my calves, slowly dragging them up and down, and warming my skin. With a gentle tug, he pulled me down onto his lap and I let my legs fall on either side of his hips. My knees dug into the sand and I dragged my hands down his chest, feeling his muscles beneath his shirt.

My dress rode up so that the backs of my thighs were rubbing against his jeans. His hands dropped to my legs, just to the edge of the hem, pressing it up an inch higher.

“
You’re so sexy, Abby,” he whispered, and I rounded my hips in a slow circle like I’d watched women do a dozen times before. I was drunk on adrenaline and my own boldness. My
body pressed down onto him as if we were suction-cupped together. It felt so easy to move on Beck like that, rolling my hips and letting my sexual prowess shine. His hands gripped my thighs, searing his skin to mine. His thumb was so close to a dangerous goal and I wanted him to reach it.

I could feel him responding to me, and I didn’t care that we were at a party. The bonfire danced behind him, silhouetting his body and blocking out everyone else. I felt life coursing through me, exhilaration fueling my seduction. I strung my hands into his hair and pulled his head toward mine as I continued to grind in slow circles on his lap. We’d moved past public decency long ago, but I couldn’t hear anything other than the sound of my heart thumping wildly. When his lips met mine, we kissed like we’d been starving for it. He swiped his tongue over mine and tangled his hand in my hair, gripping me against him. Our hips moved together and I was no longer in control of our lap dance.

We were having sex
with
clothes on, in front of twenty people.

“
Alright, you two! Jeez, get a freaking room!” the ring leader’s voice finally penetrated through my lust-filled haze. I pulled my mouth away from Beck’s and pressed the back of my hand to my lips to conceal my overflowing emotions: elation, embarrassment, shock, and desire. He smiled up at me with hooded eyes. His brown hair was even more unruly thanks to my fingers.

I sat there frozen in lust.

“
I’m not complaining, but if you don’t get off my lap soon, this might not stay so innocent.” He couldn’t even hide the amusement in his voice. He squeezed my hips once more before I pushed off his lap and plucked myself in the seat Ian had previously been occupying. Beck took my old seat without a word. I brushed off the fine layer of sand coating my knees and calves. Then I straightened the hem of my dress out and tried like hell to keep from looking up toward the rest of the group. They were already focusing on a new contestant for Drink or Dare, but the flush on my cheeks wouldn’t recede and I felt like I was on display at the zoo.