With This Kiss (26 page)

“So, it’s still a farm?”

“Technically, yes. And maple syrup comes from maple tree farms.”

In her excitement, Rebecca couldn’t stop herself from reaching out and squeezing Elizabeth’s hand. “Thank you for finding this.” Now she and Sean could go back to the council with real firepower to ask them to pull the petition.

Sean walked into the room then and Rebecca felt Elizabeth’s hand still beneath hers. Slowly, Rebecca moved hers away.

“Sean, honey,” his mother said. “Join us.”

“Actually,” Rebecca pushed back her chair, “I need to take over from Alice at the front desk. You can take my seat.”

She was afraid to look at him, knowing she was sure to give herself away in front of his mother. Sean might not be able to see that she was falling head over heels for him, but a woman would know it. His mother, especially,
would know it. And Rebecca didn’t think she’d be at all happy about.

Rebecca quickly said, “Thank you, again, Elizabeth,” then left the room.

“What was Rebecca thanking you for?”

And why had the woman whose bed he’d just left been holding his mother’s hand? No question, it was the last thing he’d expected to see.

“I think I’ve found a way around the festival petition.”

Even though he’d been hard on the trail of loopholes, he wasn’t surprised by how smart his mother’s plan was. It was a stroke of luck, for sure, but one that might not have come about if not for Elizabeth’s digging and knowledge of the Adirondack Park’s history.

“That was nice of you to help her.”

“I was thinking the same thing about you,” she said softly. “You like her, don’t you?”

“Everyone likes Rebecca. The guests. The locals. Even the babies stop crying when she picks them up.”

His mother’s eyes softened in a way he couldn’t remember seeing. “Babies,” she said softly. “I can’t wait until the day I can hold your children.” His stomach clenched even tighter than usual as she hit him with, “I saw you kissing her last night.”

Sean felt every muscle in his body go still. Just as he’d told Rebecca this morning, he hadn’t been planning on hiding their relationship. But he’d assumed it was their secret to tell.

“How could you have seen us?”

“I came by the inn hoping to see you. To talk about—” She paused, before saying, “Things. I was just out of my car when I realized I wasn’t alone in the parking lot.”

“And you just stood there and watched us?”

“No.”

“You just said you watched us kiss.”

“Yes. I did. But it wasn’t like that, I swear to you, Sean.”

He pushed his chair back to go, but she reached across the table and grabbed both of his hands.

“Please, honey, let me explain.”

He’d heard enough of her explanations for one lifetime. He should have left, shouldn’t have felt the least bit guilty about it.

But she was his mother.

And he couldn’t walk out on her, no matter how badly he wanted to, especially with Rebecca’s soft voice in his head, saying, “
Why don’t you let anyone get close to you? I see the way you barely say a word to your mother. I see how hurt she is when you keep pushing her away.
”

“You and Rebecca were sharing such a private moment. And even though I have to admit I don’t know how I feel about the two of you having a relationship—”

“It’s none of your business.”

“I know that,” she snapped back. “That’s what I’m trying to say. I couldn’t interrupt you, couldn’t have possibly let you know I was there.” Her eyes softened. Saddened. “I know what it’s like to fall in love, Sean.”

Fall in love?

No.

Hell no.

He’d come down here to talk to her about Stu, not to discuss his first kiss with Rebecca. A kiss that had turned into a night—and a morning—of the most wonderful lovemaking he’d ever known.

With the sweetest woman he’d ever had the privilege of kissing.

That was when he realized, a beat later than he should have because he could barely drag his mind away from Rebecca, what his mother’s spying meant. “If you saw us kiss, you heard about Stu, too, didn’t you?”

She took a shaky breath. “My poor baby. Why did he think he had to run?”

“He didn’t think any of us could handle the truth. And it’s true, isn’t it?” he said softly. Deliberately. “Our family has never been able to handle the truth, has it?”

Knowing he’d said too much, that he’d already stayed too long at Emerald Lake, at the inn—that things were only going to get more complicated with his parents and Rebecca if he didn’t shove out again soon—Sean slid his arms free of his mother’s grip.

“I told Dad I’d meet him for a hike. I’ve got to go.”

Elizabeth’s mouth was completely dry, so dry she could hardly swallow. She picked up her teacup, but her hands were shaking so hard that she could barely lift it from the saucer without spilling it all over the table.

Sean had never spoken to her like that before. Never said something like, “
Our family has never been able to handle the truth, has it?
”

Fear and guilt rose up inside of her in equal measures.

Sean hadn’t spilled her secret to Rebecca last night in the parking lot when the young woman had flat out asked him why he had such a fractured relationship with his mother. Elizabeth should have felt safe, knowing that if he wouldn’t tell Rebecca—the woman who clearly held his heart—he wouldn’t tell anyone.

But she didn’t feel safe.

Not even close.

She’d come to the inn this morning to begin the process of making amends. Rebecca was easier to approach, of course, which was why Elizabeth had started with her. They didn’t have a long history, and the truth was, the young woman was very sweet. Inherently likeable. The only reason Elizabeth had held herself back from becoming friends with Rebecca was because of her concern for her sons.

There was no point lying to herself anymore—just as Bill had said, it had been clear right from the start that while Stu and Rebecca obviously enjoyed each other’s company a great deal, they were no love match. There were no sparks. Nothing that could possibly hold a family together through the ups and downs of life.

Elizabeth knew all about those ups and downs. The thrill of saying “I do” beneath the rose arbor outside the inn thirty-six years ago. Discovering she was pregnant with each of her sons and then giving birth to them, two years apart. The joy she’d felt when she held each of her children for the very first time, when she’d looked into their eyes and known only love, had been so intense she’d been stunned by the force of it.

But the flip side to all that joy had come when she’d lost her brother, when grief had propelled her into making first one mistake with a virtual stranger, and then another, even bigger one, with her son.

For two decades, she’d survived the fear, the guilt, but this morning she was suffocating under the weight of both. Her body felt heavy, as if moving, breathing were difficult things she’d have to find the strength to work up to.

Perhaps Rebecca would allow her to make amends for her chilly behavior over the past months, especially if her suggestion for saving the festival actually made a difference.

But would her son ever forgive her for making him carry the burden of her secret all these years?

And then there was Bill. Her husband had held her last night.

But she’d felt him warring with himself the entire time.

Sean and his father were climbing a steep, rocky section on their way to Echo Cliff. Rather than walking single file up a narrow trail, they were side by side, using their hands and feet to get up the wet rocks. The snow had melted almost all the way up to the top by now and icy water was streaming down the trail.

They’d been hiking in silence for several minutes, but although Bill was one of the most easygoing people Sean had ever known, it hadn’t been a comfortable silence. How could it be when there was so much unsaid between them?

Sean had been close to his father until his teens and he knew Rebecca was right, that his father wanted to be closer to his son again.

But had she guessed just how badly the son wanted to be closer to his father again, too?

Deciding it was time to break the silence, at least where he felt he could, Sean said, “I need to talk with you about Stu.”

“Your mother told me why Stu left.”

Frustration bit at Sean. “He should have talked to me.
I’m his brother. He should have known he could trust me. With anything.”

“His leaving, his keeping a secret from you, neither of those are your fault, Sean.”

Suddenly it was hard for Sean to breathe. It had nothing to do with their climb. Nothing to do with the altitude.

Secrets.

“I’m his father,” Bill said in a rough, ragged voice. “If anyone should have seen his turmoil, should have guessed what he needed to get off his chest, it was me. You and Stu have always been the most important things to me. You know that, don’t you?”

For all the distance between them, Sean did know it. “You’ve been a great father.”

He could practically see his father’s brain working, knew the question that was coming next:
So then why did you pull away from me so long ago?

Needing to do something, anything, to cut that question off at the pass, Sean said, “So you also know that Rebecca and I are seeing each other.” He left off the
while I’m in town
part of the sentence, because he didn’t want his father to think that Rebecca was in any way cheapened by agreeing to a short-term affair with him.

“Good,” was what he father finally said. There was no mention of Elizabeth seeing them kissing in the inn’s parking lot. That wasn’t Bill’s way. “Rebecca is a truly lovely woman.”

Sean realized he hadn’t expected anything less from his father than complete and immediate support about his changed relationship with Rebecca. Bill had always been there for him.

It was his son who had turned away because he’d felt he had no other choice.

As the hill grew steeper, the rocks became slipperier.

Much like the way their conversation was going.

“Not everyone is going to take it as well as you,” Sean told his father between breaths.

Out of the corner of his eyes, Sean could see Bill nod. “True. But Rebecca is worth surviving a little gossip for, isn’t she?”

Of course, she was.

“I’m not worried about myself. I’m worried about Rebecca. I don’t want her to be hurt. By anyone.”

His father smiled. “You’re in love with her.”

Sean went still on the rocks. “I like her.”

It was the same thing he’d told Rebecca time and time again. Like was an emotion he could recognize. Like was an emotion he could accept. Like would never cause anyone to cry.

Like would never tear anyone apart.

When his father didn’t reply, Sean said, “I’ve known her only a week.” Less than that, if he counted up the days.

“I knew your mother one night. That was all it took.”

This was exactly the kind of conversation Sean couldn’t have with his father.

Still, even though he knew better—so much better—he couldn’t stop himself from saying, “Love at first sight doesn’t always work.”

A moment later, his father began to slip on the rocks he was standing on. Sean quickly scrambled across the rocks to grab him before he fell.

“Thanks, son.”

But Sean knew his father didn’t have a damn thing to thank him for.

They made their way to the top in silence, two men staring out at the Adirondack landscape… but neither of them was really seeing it.

R
ebecca was working hard on her knitting sample when Sean knocked on her door at six p.m. In the middle of a complicated section of the pattern, she called out, “Come in.”

When she finally looked up at him, his dark good looks took her breath away just as they always did. But it was more than her lungs that were affected by Sean.

Her heart was there, too, beating hard. Hoping. Wishing. Longing… for something he’d already told her, flat out, that he couldn’t give.

His eyes moved over her and the pleasure reflected in them had warmth filling her. No man had ever looked at her like this, like she was so beautiful he could hardly believe his eyes.

Finally, his gaze moved to the yarn in her hands. “I never asked you what you’re making.”

His voice was a little husky, reminding her of the way he’d sounded when they were making love not twenty-four hours before and he’d called her sweetheart.

A flush moved across her cheeks as she said, “Some
thing from a new pattern book Lake Yarns recently got in. With Andi still on her honeymoon, Carol needed an extra pair of hands.”

He picked up the pink, soft cashmere. Watching his large hands gently stroke the delicate fibers, the same hands that had brought her more pleasure that she’d known was even possible, she practically shook with wanting him.