Without a Past (21 page)

She sighed. “I suppose I screwed up. Like that's something new, right? I'm Kris—the dumb one.”

Andi and Jenny exchanged a look. “The beautiful one,” Andi said.

“The sweet one,” Jenny added.

Kristin stepped back so she could face them both. She lifted her chin resolutely. “I should have come sooner. When Josh got sick, you needed me and I wasn't as much help as I should have been, Jen. I almost brought Zach home then, but it was such a sad time. It didn't feel right.”

They nodded. No one could argue with that.

“Then the twins were born, and Ida fell.” She made an encompassing motion with her hands. “I told Zach the truth at that point, and gave him the option of coming with me to meet you, but he didn't want to. I didn't force the issue.”

“Isn't that a pretty big life decision for a child to make?” Jenny asked in her “teacher” voice.

“He's a smart kid,” Kris answered, her tone defensive. “He even skipped a grade. And he knows what the word
illegitimate
means. Nobody gives him a hard time about it in Oregon, but do you honestly think that would be the same here? In Gold Creek, he'd be talked about, and word would eventually get back to you-know-who.”

Jenny glanced at her watch, then started herding them toward the porch. “Doesn't he ask about his father?”

“Not lately. I figure he will when he's ready.”

“What have you told him about why you're a single mom?” Andi asked. She couldn't imagine what her sister's life had been like—alone and pregnant—thousands of miles from home.

Kris shrugged. “I told him I got pregnant when I was in high school and went to live with my father's family in Ireland until he was born.”

“Didn't he ever ask about your family?” Jenny asked.

“Yes. I told him that my aunt and two sisters were living in California, but that we'd had a big fight and didn't speak anymore. He was just a baby when we moved to Michigan with the Irish cousins, but he thinks of them as family. We've been back to Moira and Kate's twice to visit. And Moira's son, Danny, came out last summer to stay with us a couple of weeks.”

Jenny sighed. “That's just plain cruel, Kristin. I wish I could understand but I don't. I want to, but—”

Andi put a hand on Jenny's arm. “Think about that night when you told us the truth about the twins' paternity. Remember how shocked we were? Not so much that you and Josh used Sam's sperm, but because you didn't tell us right away.”

Jenny's fair complexion colored. “Okay. So, sometimes
things happen that you don't want to share. But we're talking almost eleven years, Kristin.”

“Jen, she was trying to do the right thing for Zach. And herself. We make choices then we have to live with them, but I'd like to remind you that recriminations are a luxury you can't afford at the moment. Aren't we supposed to be practicing for a wedding?”

Jenny gave a low wail of panic and dashed inside.

Andi and Kris paused just outside the door.

“I didn't want to hurt you. You seemed so devastated that night,” Kristin said. “I was afraid that learning I was pregnant would make things even worse between us.”

Andi knew there were aspects of that story she was going to have to share, but this wasn't the time. “It's ancient history, Kris. We need to put this whole thing behind us. There are too many other problems going on to worry about something that happened in high school, right?”

“I guess. I just expected you to be more upset. I thought you hated me.”

Andi's insides felt soft and weepy. “I don't. I never did. And I'm glad you're here. Does this mean you might move back for good?”

Kristin frowned. “I don't know. If people see Zach around, they might put two and two together and come up with…”

“Ty Harrison.” Suddenly Andi knew it was too late to stop the dominoes from falling.

Last night, when she should have been home to greet her sister and nephew, Andi had been in a miner's cabin making love with the man of her dreams. So Linda McCloskey—grande dame of the Gold Creek Garden Club—had opened the door to Kris and Zach—a boy so obviously Tyler Harrison's progeny that no genetic test would be required when Ty petitioned the court for custody of his son.

“Y
OU KNOW
,
the last time I visited this part of California, you were just a toddler,” Andrew Newhall told his son.

The words stuck in Jonathan's head as they pulled onto Highway 140. He found them oddly comforting.

“Like I said,” his father continued, “the last time I came this way, you were just a little boy. It was early June. Your mother and I had attended a conference of newspaper publishers in San Francisco and decided on the spur of the moment to rent a car and drive home.”

“I'm sorry, but I can't remember the trip,” Jonathan said. “Did we take other vacations?”

Andrew sighed weightily. “No. That was it. Four days on the road. We spent the first night in the park. I remember that the main lodge—I think it's called the Ahwahnee—was booked and I was upset that we couldn't get a room.

“Your mother laughed it off. She said, ‘You're so full of yourself, Andrew Newhall. Do you honestly believe that anyone outside of Bainbridge, Missouri, cares that you're a newspaper publisher?'”

His laugh sounded bittersweet. “Your mother always could put things in perspective. After she died, there wasn't anyone to bring me down a peg, to keep my feet on the ground instead of the self-important pedestal I had a tendency to stand on.”

Jonathan was glad they'd decided to make this impromptu trip. He hadn't relished the thought of spending the day in
the motel while Andi was busy with wedding details. He drove carefully—the winding road demanded it—but he let his gaze soak up the verdant beauty of the Merced River Canyon. As they rounded a bend, the mountainside brightened in color. A blanket of orange flowers—vibrant brush strokes from an Impressionist painter—captivated his attention.

“Isn't that beautiful?” he asked, taking his foot from the gas.

His father leaned forward to take in the sight, but only for a second. Jonathan felt his gaze turn to him. “Jon, I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but that's the first time I've ever—” he emphasized the word “—heard you extol the beauty of anything.”

“Anything?” Jonathan repeated.

Andrew turned in the seat to face him. “Your mother loved things of beauty. She collected seashells and water-color paintings and her flower gardens were the envy of our neighbors. I think it's what first attracted me to her. She was an art major. I was a third-year journalism student.

“My parents were solid, business-minded middle-class folk. No frills—just hard work, family and country. In that order. Jacqueline…Jacki…was lightness and charm. She didn't necessarily fit well into the Newhall way of doing business, but she added tremendous depth to my life.”

He paused. “I only wish she'd lived long enough to give more of herself to you. You ended up with too much of me.”

Jonathan didn't know what to say. Fortunately, they'd reached the entrance gate of the park and needed to pay for a day pass. His father impulsively bought an annual pass that would allow him access to all the national parks in the country.

“I'm retired,” he explained. “I'm going to start traveling
once the girls are out of school for the summer. We could hit every park between here and Florida when we come back to visit you.”

Jonathan drove ahead. “Is it settled then?” he asked with amusement. “Am I staying in Gold Creek?”

“You'd be a fool to leave,” his father said, returning his wallet to his hip pocket. “You're a new man, Jon. With infinite possibilities ahead of you. Right here. Why go anywhere else?”

For argument's sake, Jonathan said, “Well, this lawyer isn't going to be cheap. I might need to get a job.”

Neither man spoke as they drove beneath a massive rock portal. “Arch Rock,” Andrew said after checking the map.

When they came to the turnoff that would take them to the Yosemite Valley sights, Andrew said, “You know, Jonathan, I had a bit of a brainstorm while you were up at the mine. I made a few calls this morning. I wasn't sure if I should bring it up, but…”

“What?” Jonathan asked.

“Well, remember how ticked off I was about the poor quality of the local newspaper?” Jonathan nodded, trying to read the road signs at the same time. He didn't want to miss Bridal Veil Falls. Maybe all this wedding talk was getting to him.

“Are you listening to me?”

“Yes, Dad.”

Andrew made a funny sound. When Jonathan glanced at him, he spotted tears in his father's eyes. “What's wrong?”

“You called me Dad. You haven't done that in years. It was always Father or Andrew. I like Dad better,” he said with feeling.

Jonathan felt himself getting emotional, too. Emotion led to headaches, so he changed the subject. “What were you going to tell me about the newspaper?”

“It's for sale.”

A horn honked. Jonathan realized he'd stepped on the brake. Embarrassed, he waved apologetically to the driver behind him and turned into the parking lot at the base of Bridal Veil Falls. He took the first vacant parking place and turned off the engine. “Tell me more.”

 

A
NDI HAD TWO CHOICES
: she could continue to keep a frozen smile plastered to her face or fake a fainting spell and hide in the bathroom. The second was by far the more appealing choice, but that would have left Kristin alone to field all the nosy, if well-meaning, questions, coming her way.

“Are you going to contact the father, Kristin?” Mary Needham asked. During her tenure as a Gold Creak High bus driver, Mary had ferried the triplets to every sporting event the girls had participated in.

“Legally, I believe you're obligated to inform him unless he's proven unfit or dangerous,” Linda McCloskey added.

Both had been part of the original teams of caregivers who'd helped Ida take care of the triplets when the infants had come home from the hospital; both were very free with their opinions.

“
My
father was a danger,” Ida Jane said with such volume the whole room went silent. “To Mother's pocketbook. He was a born gambler. Mother told me he even bet on my birth. Whether I would be a boy or a girl.”

Andi sniffed the punch. Had someone spiked it?

“Did he win, Auntie?” Kristin asked, no doubt grateful for the diversion.

Ida chortled. “Nope. I cost him a pretty penny. He was sure his firstborn would be a son.” She looked thoughtful then added, “Vanity thy name is man.”

The shower was being held in the front parlor of the bordello, which normally would have been filled with what
Andi called her five-o'clock rush-hour coffee drinkers. It never failed to amaze her how many people seemed to need a caffeine fix before returning to their families.

This afternoon, however, a big sign on the front door read: CLOSED FRI.–TUE. FOR FAMILY WEDDING. On the coffee bar—between the three-tiered wire basket filled with tiny plastic containers of flavored creamers and the self-serve insulated coffee dispensers—was a mountain of beautifully wrapped gifts.

Although Andi and Kristin were the official sponsors of this gathering, Jenny had taken over the bulk of the arrangements, from the menu—finger sandwiches, salads and quiche—to ordering the cake. She also seemed intent on playing hostess.

She entered the room carrying a tray of multilayered triangles crafted of white bread and meat fillings. Andi moved to her side and took the tray from her hands. “Go and sit down,” she said loudly. “You're the guest of honor.”

Under her breath, she added, “Let them feast on your blood for a while.”

Jenny's smile flickered before she took a seat on the small ruby tufted sofa between Sam's mother, Diane, and her aunt. Ida Jane patted her knee supportively. “Fine turnout, Jenny girl. I wonder if there are this many men coming to Josh's bachelor party.”

Diane made a small sound of dismay. Jenny and Andi exchanged looks. Andi would have corrected her aunt. But Jenny smiled at her future mother-in-law as she took Ida's hand and said, “I'm sure the bar will be packed, Auntie. I don't know any man who can turn down free beer and pizza.”

The circle of women laughed and nodded in agreement.

As Andi navigated from table to table passing out appetizers, she admired the decorations. Two of Jenny's former
colleagues had arrived right after school with a crew of freshman girls to hang the silver, purple and pink streamers and helium-filled balloons.

Kris scuttled toward the door. “I'll get more punch.”

Beulah Jensen rocked forward like a pink-vested Weeble, the roly-poly toys Andi and her sisters had played with when they were kids. “Can you tell us who it is?” she asked Andi in a loud whisper.

“It?” Andi echoed.

“The child's father.”

If anyone else had asked such a blatantly personal question, Andi might have lost her temper. Instead, she tried to keep her tone civil. “In a big city, no one would question the fact that Kristin is a single mother. In Gold Creek, the fact that she hasn't told anyone who Zach's father is makes it fodder for gossip. Why is that? Don't you find it a little embarrassing that one of the reasons she hasn't brought her child home before this is that she knew people would talk about him, speculate about him and generally make him feel uncomfortable?”

Ida Jane looked at Andi and beamed. “You should listen to my Andrea, ladies. She's a very smart person. Did I ever tell you about the time that she tried to get me to marry old man
Polk?
Darned if I didn't kick myself for years for not listening to her.”

Andi blinked. “Mr. Polk? I thought you said he had horse teeth and bad breath.”

Ida nodded. “Yep. Big and yellow. Made me shudder. But when he died, they found thirty-five Folgers' coffee cans filled with money under his bed. If I'd have listened to you and bought a little denture cleaner, I'd have been set for life.”

Andi was speechless until she saw the familiar glint in
her aunt's eye. Then she burst out laughing.
Why can't she be like this all the time?

She was still chuckling, when a knock on the door made her change directions. Andi handed the plate of canapés to Beulah. The guests were talking about Zach and Kristin again despite Andi's lecture, but she put the chatter out of her mind when she saw who was standing at her door.

Kristin appeared at her side—a cut-glass pitcher of fruit punch in her hand. “So, that's him. Harley-slash-Jonathan. I've only seen him a couple of times. He's cute.”

Andi felt her hackles rise. Kristin had always gotten any boy she'd wanted—even Tyler Harrison. “He's mine.”

Kristin froze. Her eyes grew large. Her bottom lip trembled. “I know. I didn't mean anything by that. I…I…”

Andi felt like a heel. She was the one who'd said they should keep the past in the past, and here she was jumping all over her sister like some kind of possessive beast. “I'm sorry, Kris. That was mean. I'm an idiot.”

Jonathan knocked again.

Kristin smiled and lightly touched Andi's arm with cool, slightly sticky fingers. “No, you're in love. I understand. Really, I do. It's been a long, long time, but I do remember the feeling.”

With that, she headed back to the party. Andi opened the door. “Hi. Are you lost? The men's party is down the road a few blocks.”

He looked heartbreakingly handsome—new denim jeans, snakeskin boots and a long-sleeve white shirt. The evening had turned chilly. A perfect excuse to drag him upstairs to her down-filled featherbed where she could ravish him to her heart's content.

“I'm on my way there now. Dad's waiting in the car. Sam told me to bring him along. We just stopped to drop off a gift for Jenny.”

Andi couldn't stifle her surprise. “You have a shower present for Jenny?” Silky peignoirs and kitchen gadgets—typical shower gifts—sprang to mind.

He nodded. “Dad and I went to Yosemite today and we took the long way back through Oakhurst. I asked for his advice and this is what he suggested.” He reached into the dim recess beside the door and brought out a set of golf clubs. “I have another set in the trunk for Sam,” he said proudly.

Andi burst out laughing, but quickly swallowed her giggles when she saw the frown on his face. “Sorry. It's a lovely gift. They look very expensive, but…Jenny doesn't golf.”

He looked sheepish. “My father said a couple needs a hobby they can enjoy together. When the twins are older, they might take up golf. In the meantime, I bought a catch net they can set up in the backyard to practice.”

Her mouth dropped open. “Wow,” she exclaimed. “That's the most original shower gift I've ever heard of.”

He pointed to the rental car sitting in the parking lot. “It was Dad's idea. He and his wife play together daily. He says it keeps him young.” He leaned closer and added in a soft voice. “At least, he implied they were golfing.”

The innuendo was clear. Maybe it was time for Andi to take up golf. “So, what are you doing later?” she asked.

He moved the clubs just inside the door then pulled Andi into the shadows provided by the bay window. “After the bachelor party?” he asked, his lips finding hers.

He tasted of coffee and possibly some kind of liquor—sweet and smoky. “Uh-huh,” she mumbled, wanting more.

The kiss vaporized the misgivings that had been collecting in her head all day. She'd sleepwalked through the rehearsal, rehashing in her mind the reasons why she shouldn't get involved with him. Only Kristin's presence
and her new nephew's moody glumness—plus, the thought of the shower—had kept her from stewing all afternoon.

She wanted him. That hadn't changed after seven hours of being apart.

“Well,” he said, trailing kisses across the bridge of her nose, then dotting each eye, “I'm going back to the motel. To the honeymoon suite,” he added with a chuckle. “Because tomorrow morning, I'm meeting with a local Realtor to look at some property that I just found out is for sale.”