Without Compromise (13 page)

              He tightened his posture.

              “I love you. I tried not to, but I just couldn’t stop myself.”

              His scowl shifted to a grin.

              “But I am not going to date you. I’m not even going to hang out with you. I’m just going to walk away, because you and I don’t share the same faith, and I’m afraid I’d eventually give in and let you take first place in my heart over God.”

              Josie dropped her hands and spun away from him. She was a little concerned that he would chase her or call after her, but he didn’t. He just let her walk away.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Tag felt like punching something. He hadn’t been this frustrated since back when he was put on administrative leave. The woman told him she loved him, but all he could do was stand there like an idiot. She had walked away, and he couldn’t think of a thing to do or stay to stop her.

              Tag went back inside and knocked on Molly’s door.

              “Just wanted to know how you’re doing.”

              “I’m good. Did you see Josie before she left?”

              He didn’t bother answering.

              “I’ll take that scowl as a no,” Molly spoke to his back as he unlocked his own door.

              Tag went in and cleaned up his apartment. His team had mostly ignored the beer bottles on the table, but Lowell had, at one point, picked one up and raised an eyebrow in question. Tag had just turned his back on his sergeant. The bottles were still sitting on the table as a reminder of his wasted afternoon.

              In truth, Tag would have to admit that he was drinking more than he used to. He didn’t think he was verging on becoming an alcoholic, but maybe all alcoholics felt that way in the beginning. He dumped the remaining contents of his third bottle down the sink.

              He decided to lay off the booze for a couple weeks to ensure he was not really dependent on it. If he found himself craving it, he determined he would get some help.

              He knew he would not be able to sleep, so he grabbed his gym bag and headed down to the station.

              To his relief, Tag discovered that he did not need the beer. He hardly thought about it once he shoved the bottles to the back of his fridge. A couple weeks after beginning his experiment, he decided to get rid of the beer altogether.

              “Thanks,” Al was happy to take them off his hands.

              “Giving up the bottle, Tag?” Molly walked by on her way into her apartment.

              He turned and realized she was holding onto two coolers. He took the larger one from her.

“Were you already out on a job?” he followed her up the stairs.

“A pre-wedding brunch,” she set down her cooler to open the door.

He carried her cooler in and set it down, then turned to go.

“You can’t just change stuff and be good enough for her.”

Tag stopped and looked at Molly, “What do you mean?”

              Molly sighed, “She doesn’t want you to change your behavior, Tag. She isn’t turning you down because you aren’t good enough for her.”

              He didn’t have to ask, because he was certain Molly was going to enlighten him on Josie’s reasons for rejecting him.

              “You know what you’re missing, Tag. You don’t need me to outline it for you.”

              “I get it,” he agreed. “Sitting in church once or twice a week will make me a better person.”

              “No amount of sitting in church is going to make you a better person, Tag. The change has to come from your heart.”

              Tag couldn’t say he didn’t see that coming.

              “I gotta go, Molly.”

              “Catch you later, Tag.”

              He was glad she didn’t seem upset by his dismissal of her faith – again. He would have been willing to go to church for Josie. She was worth it. But, despite his ignorance on matters of religion, he knew she was looking for something more than that. He wasn’t sure exactly what it was, but he knew it was more than that.

              He doubted it was going to make a difference, but he was going to try to be the man he knew Josie deserved.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Josie allowed Hudson to check her harnesses. She still wasn’t completely comfortable with guys messing around with her backside, but she’d rather deal with a little embarrassment than a fall because of faulty gear.

              “Looks good, Josie,” he pulled her a little tighter. “How does it feel?”

              “Snug. Has Brent said when we’re going to start shooting?”

              Hudson muttered something under his breath about the ad company and walked away.

              Josie was grateful for the work, but she always found commercials to be a bit aggravating. She never knew from one job to another what to expect. Even if the director was the same, the ad company or client could make a mess of the shoot.

              Half an hour later, Brent was ready to begin. Josie easily completed her leap from the building to the car. She was about to jump from the car to the building when she felt an unexpected tug on her lowest line. It sent her off balance. She attempted to regain control, but whoever was handling her lines must have noticed her disequilibrium and attempted to compensate. She was spun upside down and thrown to the pavement alongside the car.

              Josie rolled as she hit the ground, but the straps confined her, and she was not able to completely escape the trailer that the car was towing. The last thing she saw, before a knock to the back of her head rendered her unconscious, was the wheel coming toward her face.

CHAPTER TWENTY

Tag was not too surprised to see Molly calling him while he was on shift. She did occasionally get in touch with him – especially since the incident – and she had no way of knowing he was at work.

              What surprised him was the second call. He tried to answer it, but she only let it ring twice so he missed it. Tag wondered if she hit redial by accident.

              When Molly’s name showed up a third time in fifteen minutes, he left the room to make a call.

              “Molly,” he closed the break room door, “what’s up?”

              “It’s Josie,” her voice was indistinct. “She’s had an accident.”

              She went on to say something else, but Tag couldn’t understand much beyond, ‘Mom or Dad,’ and ‘puppet.’

              “Calm down, Molly,” he forced himself to breathe. “Where is she?”

              “Presbyterian.”

              “Where are you?” he waved at Jacobson and indicated that he was leaving.

              “On my way there.”

              He cringed, “You’re driving?”

              “I just pulled into the ER lot.”

              “I’ll be there as soon as possible.”

              She hung up.

              Tag dialed Jacobson as he neared his car.

              “Right behind you,” Harry called out from ten feet away as the phone began to ring.

              Tag looked back over his shoulder, “Hey. Josie’s been in an accident.

              “That was her?”

              “No,” he climbed into the driver’s seat, “Molly.”

              “Car accident?”

              “I don’t know. Molly wasn’t exactly coherent.”

              “And she driving?” his reaction was similar to Tag’s.

              “Not anymore,” he flipped on the lights to move more easily through traffic.

              “What does Molly drive?” Harry climbed out of the passenger side as they pulled into the ER lot. “I’ll go make sure they aren’t going to tow her.”

              “Silver Camry. Five years old,” Tag left the car running as he exited the driver’s seat.

              Harry drove off as Tag ran into the ER.

              “Can I help you, officer?” the nurse at the desk wore a wary expression.

              “I’m looking for a patient – Josie Drake.”

              The nurse looked down at the computer, “She’s in OR one. I don’t think you are going to be able to talk to her for a while. Is she involved in a case?” she looked concerned. “Usually they put a note up.”

              Tag was not going to elaborate on his non-relationship with Josie, “Can you tell me if her sister is here yet? I’d like to speak to her.”

              “The sister is in the back.”

              Tag didn’t wait any longer.

              “Thanks,” he headed through the locked doors, knowing the nurse would press the button to ensure he could get through.

              “Tag,” Molly saw him as he passed through the doors, “you’re here,” she rose and walked into his open arms.

              “What happened?” he was certain he didn’t want to hear the answer.

              “She’s was on the job, and something went wrong with the stunt.”

              His arms tensed, “Went wrong?”

              “She fell off a moving car and then got caught in the jerk vest. The coordinator said he wasn’t sure if she hit her head on the way down, but she did slide across the pavement and then her head hit a post. The car was towing a trailer, which almost ran into her, but the driver managed to get off the road before it got that far.”

              He drooped against the wall, unable to support his own weight, “And. . .she’s. . .what do they say?”

              Molly leaned against the wall next to him, “The doctor hasn’t been out to tell me anything yet.”

              Tag closed his eyes and leaned his head back.

              “Hey, Madden,” Jacobson strode through the doors, drawing Tag and Molly’s attention.

              “Harry,” Tag was glad to see his partner.

              “I tagged Molly’s car to keep them from towing it, but she should still move it to overnight if she gets a chance. How’s Josie?”

              Tag shook his head, “No news.”

              Harry took Molly’s arm and led her to a row of chairs, “Go ask them.”

              Tag wasn’t sure he could make his legs move up to the nurse’s station. He was positive he couldn’t ask them about Josie.

              When he didn’t move, Harry glared at him.

              Tag shook his head.

              Harry left Molly sitting alone and went to speak to the young lady at the desk.

              Tag’s feet felt as though they each weighed one hundred pounds as he trudged over to where Molly sat.

              “Did you call your parents?”

              She shook her head, “I couldn’t get ahold of them. They’ve been out in Pittsburg visiting my grandma since last week. Jo and I only went up for Thanksgiving Day, but they wanted to stay a little longer.”

              “You left them a message, though.”

              “Just to call me. I didn’t want them to start driving home before talking to me.”

              Harry sat on Molly’s opposite side, “The nurse said they’ve just finished up with Josie.”

              Tag couldn’t voice the question, so Molly did.

              “Can we see her?”

              “She’s in recovery,” he took Molly’s hand. “The doctor would like to talk to you before you go see her.”

              Tag felt useless. He was pretty sure the doctor would have no desire to talk to him. He wasn’t being very helpful to Molly right now, and he had no idea how to deal with the terrible fear that was threatening to overpower him.

              “Maybe I’ll just go finish my shift,” Tag stood up.

              Harry shoved him back down, “I called the lieutenant and told him what was up. We’re off in an hour anyway.”

              Molly looked at Tag as if she were expecting something from him.

              “Thanks, Harry,” he couldn’t force any more past his lips.

              Harry stood up, “I’m going to take the car back to the station. Call me if you need anything.”

              Molly allowed him to drop her hand, “Thanks, Officer Jacobson.”

              “Harry,” he tendered a brief small before leaving.

              Molly stood up and reached for Tag’s hand, “Coming?”

              He wanted to support her. Or, at least, he knew he should support her. What he really wanted to do was run away and hide. What would he do if the doctor told them Josie was going to be paralyzed or lose a limb? He couldn’t even make his mind turn to worse scenarios.

              “C’mon, Tag,” she urged. “I can’t do this alone.”

              “Molly,” the words caught in his throat, “I don’t know if I can hear what he has to say.”

              Molly stared at him for a moment. He was surprised that she didn’t seem to be angry. In fact, the look in her eye seemed to be one of pity.

              Finally, she sighed, “How about you go sit with her while I talk to the doctor.”

              Tag stood up, “I thought you said you couldn’t. . .”

              She shook her head as if she realized how weak he was, “Never mind that, Tag. You go sit with her.”

              “I’m sorry, Molly,” Tag could feel the tears burning the back of his throat. “I don’t know what . . .I’m not usually like this.”

              “I know,” she squeezed his shoulder. “I remember.”

              He looked at the nurse, “Where is Josie Drake?”

              The nurse’s look was at least as sympathetic as the one Molly wore, “She’s in twelve. Down the hall and to the right.”

              He nodded his thanks and headed in the right direction. Seeing the woman he loved in the hospital bed almost made him turn and run.

              When she was awake, Josie was full of energy and enthusiasm. She radiated life. Tag knew she was short, but somehow she didn’t seem like a small person. Lying in the bed, Josie looked tiny. She only covered two-thirds of the mattress with her length, and she was practically swimming in the one-size-fits-all gown they had put her in.

              Tag assessed her condition. Her face was as pale as the plaster of her cast. Her head was bandaged, she was hooked up to monitors of some sort, she had oxygen tubes up her nose, and it looked like she was wearing braces on an arm and a leg.

              He pulled the chair up to the bed and lowered the rail.

              He stared at her for a few minutes before he found his voice, “Please be okay, Josie. I think there are some things I need to tell you. At least, I need you to see that I’m changing – I’m trying to be better for you. I know it’s not enough, but I’m trying.”

              Tag put his elbows on her bed, taking care to not bump her.

              “Tag,” Molly came in and rested a hand on his shoulder, “the doctor said she will be sleeping for a while. There’s quite a bit of swelling on the brain.”

              “She’s going to be okay, isn’t she?”

              Molly sat on the foot of the bed, “Her leg isn’t broken, but she must have twisted when she fell off because she tore a ligament. She broke her left wrist. Her spinal cord is intact.”

              “Her brain?”

              “They have to wait,” Molly looked at her sister. “They’re going to do some more tests tomorrow morning.”             

              Tag rested his face in his hands, “Okay.”

              “Why don’t you go home for a while? I’ll call you if anything changes.”

              He shook his head, “They’ll want to talk to you in the morning anyway. I’ll stay here tonight, so you can get some rest.”

              She frowned at him, “Don’t you want to go home and change first?”

              He looked down at his uniform. “Nah. I’m okay.”

              Molly chuckled, “But they’re going to think Josie did something wrong to be guarded by a cop.”

              He couldn’t conjure up an answering smile.             

              “I’ll see you in the morning, Molly.”

              About an hour after she left, the nurse stopped in.

              “Can I help you with something?” she looked nervous.

              Tag had read everything that the room had to offer, including how to release the brakes on the bed. He wondered if she had anything more enlightening.

              She spoke again before he could ask, “If you are waiting for a statement, I think you may be sitting here a while. They told the family she won’t be awake before tomorrow.”

              Tag shook his head, “I was at work when I got the call.”

              Her brow furrowed.

              “I’m a cop,” he informed her unnecessarily, “but I’m not here because. . .”

              He wasn’t making any sense, “This is Josie. I’m here because this is Josie. She’s. . . she’s my. . .” he didn’t know what to call her, so he stopped talking.

              “Oh,” the nurse relaxed considerably.

              “Can I get you something to read? Or some coffee?”

              He shook his head, “No coffee, but if you have something more interesting than
Proper Care of Stitches,
I’d be grateful.”

              She smiled, “I’ll see what I can find. She’ll have a television in her room upstairs too, so that should help.”

              “She’s going upstairs?”

              “To ICU. Didn’t the doctor tell you?”

              Tag shook his head, “He talked to Molly – her sister. Molly probably thought I was going to flip out again if she told me any more stuff.”

              He felt a little sheepish about his prior reaction.

              The nurse smiled, “It’s a terrifying thing – to get a call that a loved one is in the hospital. Most people flip out.”

              Tag nodded, but it didn’t really make him feel better. He was trained to keep it together while others were losing their heads. He should have been able to handle this.

              He castigated himself for twenty minutes on the matter before a different nurse arrived to move Josie upstairs.

              “I’m sorry,” she looked him up and down. “Are we supposed to be getting a release for her to move?”

              “A release?” he folded up the magazine the first nurse had found for him.

              “From the Police Department?”