Without You I Have Nothing (10 page)

_{‘The diamonds around
her neck and in her ears must have been worth a king’s ransom. As well, your
father - so much in love with his wife but his eyes, also, seemed to smile on me
as if approving. Peter, what have you done to me?’}

_{Her thoughts faded
and she dropped off to a deep sleep, full of dancing with Peter’s strong arms
around her.}

_{When he stepped back
into his apartment, Peter cleaned up before kneeling before his parents'
picture and pressing against the fireplace. An altar swung out and Peter burnt
the usual offerings to his ancestors. He was sure both his mother and father
approved of Jennifer and he was sure they smiled. Tonight’s nightly ritual was
complete as he stood to run his hands over the plaque.}

_{Ah, yes, the
inscription!}

_{To Honorary Major of the 6th Gurkha Brigade,}

_{Peter O'Brien}

_{Let no man be fooled}

_{The Little One is a man to be feared!}

_{Peter’s eyes twinkled
and in his mind he could see the parade ground with the ceremonial march past -
with him, all of sixteen years old, fully kitted out in a Major’s Uniform,
taking the salute of the troops as they swung past the dais.}

_{The music was in his
ears as was the crunch of the marching feet and the orders from the Regimental
Sergeant Major ringing out across the Parade Ground. What a proud, happy day
that had been. The whole regiment knew his story and they were saluting his
manhood, his courage and his bravery.}

_{He moved into the
main bedroom and knelt at the foot of the bed, overcome with the emotions of
the evening.}

_{As he recited the
Lord’s Prayer, that prayer from his childhood, he sought guidance in his
winning of Jennifer. His emotions stretched to breaking point and he felt the
presence of two people, joining him in prayers.}

_{On one side was the
roughness of his father’s uniform, on the other the sweet softness of his
mother. His mind, unable to cope, allowed him to slip to the floor where he
slept.}

_{Relentless weeks of
rehearsals followed and Peter slid into an easy routine of collecting Jennifer
at her apartment, attending rehearsals and taking her back to his apartment for
dinner, music and chess lessons.}

_{Working, learning
lines and memorizing stage movements were delightful tasks and always they had
something to discuss. Even so, Peter did not attempt to hold her or kiss her. He
was terrified of risking the friendship he believed they both enjoyed.}

_{It was at a rehearsal
that last, the time came for the villain to sweep the heroine into his arms.}

_{Conscious of the cast
watching, Peter was tentative every time he held Jennifer and, certainly, his
kisses were most demure until that fateful night when, brandishing the mortgage
high above her head and growling the fatal words, “Come, a kiss to seal the
bargain,” he swept Jennifer into his arms.}

_{No longer could he
deny his pent up feelings. His fingertips burned and his lips tingled. Drowning
in the sweetness of her mouth, he allowed his passion to sweep over her.}

_“Break!”

_{His mind too busy
absorbing the sweetness and the heat, Peter failed to hear the director. Such a
triviality did not enter his brain.}

_{“Break!  Break!”}

_{Only then did Peter
become conscious of the words enough to allow Jennifer to stand upright.}

_{“Steady on, Peter. That
kiss would have scorched the rafters. That’s not suitable for a melodrama. Jennifer,
if he does that again, kick him.”}

_{Peter could only nod
and pray that the trembling in his body wasn’t visible to Jennifer.}

_{She was white-faced
and a determined glint shone in her eyes. “Don’t you ever dare kiss me like
that again.”}

_{In the car after
rehearsal, turning to Peter, she looked down at her lap and quietly murmured,
“I don’t think it would be a good idea for you to take me to your flat. I want
to go straight home.”}

_{At least Peter was
sure that Jennifer had felt something in his kiss.}

_{Saying nothing, he
walked with her to her door. When she turned, her head lowered, to accept the
usual light brushing of his lips through her hair; Peter slipped his arm around
her waist and effortlessly lifted her until she was on her toes. Then, as her
face lifted in surprise, softly he began to laugh.}

_{Jennifer’s lips
opened as if she were about to speak and Peter kissed her words away, again
rejoicing in the sweet softness of her mouth as his tongue slid in to plunder
her treasure.}

_{Her tongue battled
Peter’s as her body strained against his.}

_{He bathed them both
in the extreme depth of his feelings, which had so long lain dormant and so
strongly suppressed. Beginning to tremble, he slowly released her.}

_{Quickly Jennifer spun
about and moved through her front door. Peter heard the door slam and she was
gone. Inside she leant against the closed door.}

_{Then Jennifer, inside
her head, was talking again. ‘Peter, smash the door down. I want more of those
delicious kisses but I'm so frightened. My body wants you so much but my mind
is terrified. My body says 'Yes' but my mind says 'No'. What’s to become of
me?  Would I have known what to do if my brother hadn’t arrived that dreadful night
of the attack?’}

_{She struggled off to
bed weeping profusely.}

_{The following
afternoon she rang Peter. “Don’t worry about collecting me for rehearsals next
week. I’ll get myself there and home.”}

_{Peter’s mind exploded
and his thoughts were blunt. ‘Damn the woman. She’s behaving as if I’ve raped a
Vestal Virgin. For God’s sake, why shouldn’t I take her to rehearsals and
home?’  He was bitter and he hurt.}

_{“I didn’t appreciate
your behavior...”  Jennifer added coldly.}

_{By now, Peter had
taken enough of the Prima Donna act. “What are you doing Saturday night?  There’s
a dance at the…?”}

_{“I'm sorry.”  Her icy
tones told him she wanted nothing more of him.}

_{“Right, if that’s the
way you want it...”  Peter’s roar into the phone reflected his white-hot rage
and his anger reflected his indignant frustration. “Who cares?  Ring the
Salvos, perhaps they care. Perhaps I’ll see you at bloody rehearsals!”  Peter’s
voice was icy and knife-edged severe as he slammed the telephone back into its
cradle.}

_{Eventually the
rehearsal night arrived}

_{Peter, wrapped in
anger and jealousy, was there early, waiting in the shadows to see how Jennifer
arrived at the hall. A taxi stopped and she stepped out but that did nothing to
ease his aching heart.}

_{The director took
control. “Let’s start at the top of Act 2.”}

_{Peter knew he had to
speak.}

_{“One moment
everybody!”  He paused until he had the cast’s full attention. “Unfortunately,
the other night, as villain, I got carried away causing the heroine
considerable distress so now I apologize to her in front of you all and say
because of my failure to behave as a gentleman I must resign from the show.”}

_{A cool silence seemed
to echo across-s the stage. Jennifer was ashen.}

_{The director broke
the silence. “You’ll do nothing of the sort. Rubbish!  Without you as villain,
we may as well all go home. Jennifer, I’ll see you in the green room now.”}

_{Turning, he marched
purposefully off.}

_{“Sit!”  He pointed to
the chair on the opposite side of the table. Still standing, he spoke again,
his voice calm yet intense.}

_{“I don’t know what
happened as a result of that kiss. It’s none of my business but I can assure
you that Peter will be the villain as he has the ability to carry this play. I'm
prepared to replace you but not him. If the two of you can’t work together then
you're gone… he stays!”}

_{Unable to believe what
was being said, Jennifer listened, stony faced and white with shock.}

_{“There’s not a woman
in the society who wouldn’t change places with you. To be in his arms and to be
kissed like that - well the women of the society admire him and he really is
their idol. He’s such a powerful yet gentle presence and protects them all. Not
once has he made a pass at any of them or dated anyone.}

_{“Then you arrive and
it’s obvious to us all that you hold his heart in your hands and you're too
blind,” his eyes narrowed to slits, “or too self-centered to notice it.”}

_{He stared at her for
a long time before proceeding.}

_{“Peter would be most
annoyed about my revealing some of his history so please don’t mention you
know.”  Still staring at Jennifer who merely nodded, the Director sat and leant
across the table to stare into--- her eyes.}

_{“Some years ago three
men lay in wait for our women to leave a rehearsal. They sprang on one woman
and, as they dragged her into a car, they began ripping her clothes off -
making it obvious what they intended doing.”}

_{The director’s words
were enough to plunge Jennifer back to her teenage years.}

_{As his words wafted
over her, she felt herself falling and she had to struggle hard to stop her
body pitching to the floor.}

_{She grasped the edge
of the table tightly until her knuckles were white as her memory took her back
to that dreadful night of her school ball. She shuddered uncontrollably and
sobs racked her body as she relived her own terrifying ordeal. Memories
struggled to the surface from deep down in her soul where they had remained
hidden for so long. Her body reflected that torment as both her arms and her
cheek bones began to ache with memories of that night.}

_{Oblivious of her
distress the director continued. “Peter flew across the car park and hurled one
of the attackers against the wall where he lay still. The other two produced
knives and all Peter did was laugh. 'Put them away or you're dead.' were
Peter’s words in a voice that really terrified me. He didn’t seem in the least
worried.}

_{“The second attacker
lunged towards Peter and then screamed as his own knife buried itself in his
throat. The third man was watchful and danced around Peter searching for an
opening until Peter tired of his antics and...}

_{“When the police
arrived there were three dead men, a car full of drugs and guns and one very
frightened but very grateful member of the cast. Immediately the police had
finished their investigation into the incident, Peter took the woman home. She
later told us all how gently he undressed her, showered her and put her to bed.
He spent that night and a lot more nights with her until she felt safe.”}

_{Jennifer looked up
and began to speak but the director interrupted her.}

_{“No, don’t you dare
insult the man!  He didn’t bed her. Yes, he undressed her that first night then
sat beside the bed holding her hand and calming her nightmares. He even
arranged and paid for her therapy.}

_{“Several rehearsals
later the remainder of the gang arrived in three cars to exact revenge. Peter
calmly ordered me to call for ambulances and for police backup.}

_{“Six men armed with
clubs - no knives - were determined to beat him to death. All Peter could do
was laugh - a glorious rib-tickling laugh - that seemed to echo across the
parking lot. Then he spoke and his voice was enough to bring fear into my heart.
'Why didn’t they send the men instead of the boys?'}

_{“We could hear the
wails of the sirens as he proceeded to tear the brave gang to shreds. Not one
was left standing and some were on life-support for months.”  He shuddered before
adding, “God, Peter’s a walking, talking, killing machine.}

_{“The police again
laid no charges and were very surprised that he hadn’t a single mark on him. Eventually
only one of the gang survived and has been a paraplegic ever since.}

_{“Yet, you come in here
with his heart in your hand and treat him like scum. Well, none of us will
stand for it. Make a decision tonight about whether you can work with him and
whether you want to be the heroine. Let me know before you leave. If you can’t
work with him then I’ll replace you.”}

_{“You can leave your
script as you go.”}

_{Suddenly the director
stood, walked around the table to put his hand on Jennifer’s shoulder.}

_{“I know Peter far too
well. He has a depth to him I’ve seen in no man. He’s never dated and I’ll
swear on a pile of Bibles he’ll never harm you, but heaven help anyone who
does.”}

_{Shuddering, he
concluded, “Thank you for allowing me to be father. Come on, we have to
rehearse.”}