Without You I Have Nothing (45 page)

_{“Without warning I
was surrounded by members of the band. They quickly hauled me before a very
angry Eui Si Soon who, screaming in Cantonese, demanded, ‘Where are the
girls?’  I just smiled and shrugged.}

_{“Bellowing, he
repeatedly punched me in the stomach then ordered his men to throw my mother
and me into the tiger cage.}

_{“This was a most
feared punishment as the tiger cage was a tiny bamboo prison so small two
prisoners could only crouch side by side with their heads bowed. The gang kept
prisoners in that cage until their wills were broken but usually twenty-four
hours was long enough for that to occur.}

_{“During the night
when all was quiet Mum asked if the girls escaped safely and when I outlined
what had happed she gripped my hands and sighed, ‘I’m so proud of you. You’re a
man.’}

_{“She went on to explain
how Eui Si Soon had repeatedly raped and then blackmailed her by threatening
her with his plan to kill my father and me. She explained how mystified she had
been by the attack on the way to the Cameron Highlands and could only assume
that one of the servants had revealed the family’s plans for a second
honeymoon.}

_{“It was while she
drowsed with her head on my shoulder that I felt a small hand pushing some
containers of darts into my hand and soft words welcomed me to adulthood. Without
disturbing my Mother, I hid the containers in the waist tie of my sarong.}

_{“At sun rise I heard
the order, ‘Bring his mother.’  Astonished, I couldn’t believe what happened
next. The leader ordered his men to strip her and to spread-eagle her by tying
her to four stakes.}

_{“When his men dragged
me before him, he seemed to enjoy telling me of his plan. Gloating, he outlined
his plans for us both. ‘Because you want to be a hero, every man in the camp
will rape your mother repeatedly until she is dead. First, we shall flog you,
and then ask you again about the girls. After that your mother will be dead.’”}

_{The memory of this
day was too much for Peter. Weeping openly, he turned to face the two pictures.}

_{It was some minutes
before he could continue, and Jennifer frowned at her family when they
attempted to rise to go to his side. She ignored their murmurs of sympathy. Slowly
she stood and moved beside him. Then she knelt with her arm across his
shoulders.}

_{There was a long
silence until he faced Jennifer and nodded to show how much he appreciated her
support. She returned to her seat beside her mother.}

_{Having regained
control of his emotions, he faced the family again.}

_{“I shrugged the hands
of my guards from my arms and as soon as we rounded the corner of the attap, I
dropped to my knees and ‘poof’ one was dead. The second guard was still
wondering why his friend hit the ground when ‘poof’ he also was dead. The man
who had flogged me so mercilessly turned to flee but ‘poof’ a third time and he
joined the others in death. The poison-tipped darts had acted instantaneously.}

_{“I crawled under the
attap to see what was happening and could see my mother naked, tied to the
stakes. All the men were stripping and queuing up ready to take turns on her.”}

_{Jennifer’s wail and
her mother’s strangled cry of “Oh my god” didn’t stop Peter.}

_{Oblivious of his
surroundings and the family’s presence, his mind had taken him deep into the
jungle, watching the preparations for his mother’s gang rape. He was totally
unaware of the dismay, the revulsion and disgust the family was feeling.}

_{“Suddenly I felt a
nudge and my aborigine friend was beside me handing me more darts with a most
gleeful expression on his face. ‘Today, ‘The Little One’ has become a man,’ he
whispered.}

_{I took another pipe
of death. Poof!  The first man in the queue, dead, pitched forward on his face.}

_{“Poof!  The second
one fell sideways, but it wasn’t until the fifth fell that the others realized
they were under attack. They fled, screaming, with the ‘wings of death’ in
those little darts following them.}

_{“Suddenly I heard
that bastard’s voice above me. Eui Si Soon was standing on the verandah above
my head. ‘The bitch isn’t worth it’ and a shot rang out.}

_{“My Mother was shot
through the head and I was covered in her gore, with her blood and parts of her
brain over my face and in my hair.}

_{“Stupefied, I lost
consciousness and, when I did regain power over my mind and body, I was with
the aborigines who had cleaned me up and supplied not only a fresh sarong but
had laid beside my body a rice sack containing all the accoutrements of death.}

_{With the sack slung
over my shoulder, I left my friends. My hatred and my anger overpowered my
reason and my sorrow. I began stalking that bastard and his band of scum. They
learnt what terror was.”}

_{Peter’s eyes were red
and the family felt the terror the men had felt.}

_{Even Eric and Andrew,
hardened farmers as they were, recoiled from the tone of voice, that whip
lashed into their souls.}

_{Andrew’s mind
returned to the night Peter drove out of the garage with the dummy beside him
and he shuddered. That night, those men didn’t stand a chance.}

_{“I stalked them. I
picked them off one - two, and sometimes three at a time. First, it was the one
in the lead, then a straggler. Sometimes it was one of a group. I killed them
in the latrines or as they sat eating. Nowhere were they safe. It was as easy
as shooting ducks.}

_{“I garroted them in
their beds as they slept. I used the silent death,” and he patted the cigarette
box of bamboo darts, “Or I shot them. I beheaded, I castrated, I bled some to
death and I hung some. The methods of death were many and varied.}

_{“Terror was with them
24 hours of the day and fifty-three men died. I felt no remorse. I felt nothing.
I was unfeeling - a zombie with only the thought of death in my mind.}

_{“But then I became so
confident that for the second time I grew careless. Accidentally, I came face
to face with Eui Si Soon and saw him reach for his pistol.}

_{‘So?  You’ve come to
join your slut mother, eh, ‘Little One’?’ were his words}

_{“He should never have
paused to speak as my dart hit him in the throat. His pistol fell to the jungle
floor unused.}

_{“However before I
could move, or rejoice in my victory, I had a Kukri at my throat. At first, I
felt that my life had ended when the band of Gurkhas captured me.}

_{“They had been
following the fleeing band, witnessing the killing of my tormentors, and the
boss’s death. They had taken aim on him as he reached for his pistol then
paused while I killed him.}

_{“For two months I was
hospitalized being checked for diseases. During this time, the Gurkhas treated
me like one of their own. The British officers wanted to hand me back to the
RAAF, but the soldiers were unhappy at the thought, so the officers allowed me
to sleep in the barracks, to march with the troops and to carry arms in the
uniform of the Sixth Brigade of Gurkhas. I took part in their training
exercises.}

_{“Finally I was
returned to the Air Force, but was such a trouble maker they soon sent me back
to the Gurkhas. I had grown to love them and their way of life.}

_{“At the RAAF School,
I fought with everyone. They teased me about my slut mother. Unable to treat
the girls charitably, all I could think of was that bastard servicing my mother
like a stallion with a brood mare.}

_{“Back with my beloved
Gurkhas I accompanied my platoon on a mission in the jungle at the back of
Malacca, and through good luck, was able to save thirty-two of my platoon from
a communist ambush.}

_{“They thought I was
unbelievably brave because I disguised myself as a Malay urchin, loudly singing
the ‘Negara Ku’ - the Malaysian National Anthem - when I strolled nonchalantly
into the arms of the attackers who had my friends pinned down.}

_{“To be frank, I
didn’t even consider I would die, but why would I have worried?  My family was
gone, and late at night I often prayed that the Angel of Death would soon
arrive to collect me. I really had no reason to live.”}

_{Peter grinned
maliciously and his new family recoiled in horror.}

_{“The killer was loose
again and quietly but slowly I took care of the attackers. When I called my
friends they couldn’t conceive of what I had done except that I had used the Kukri
I was wearing under my sarong to remove all thirty of the dead men’s ears in
the manner of the Gurkhas.”}

_{Peter noticed
Elizabeth’s shudder at this detail and Jennifer’s reaching to hold her mother’s
hands. He concluded that his story had been too vivid but after all it was his
history and he had not told the family of all the degradation he had endured. His
love for their daughter had driven him to tell them his history - the words,
the pictures in his mind and the smells.}

_{He wondered what
would have happened had he told them of the taste of cleaning his teeth with
bamboo, scraping his tongue, the feel of scrubbing his skin with sand before
bathing in a jungle stream. Should he have mentioned the dangers of the jungle
from snakes, tigers and elephants?  What about the smells of burning flesh to
remove the leeches and the days of eating leaves to kill hunger pangs?  Should
he have mentioned begging in the markets just to keep alive?}

_{No!  He decided he
had told them more than enough.}

_{“I think I should
stop,” he said as he stood. “I am so sorry Elizabeth, Eric and Andrew for the
pictures I drew. Jennifer knew part of my story but I know it must have come as
a shock to you. I should not have made you listen to my outlining all the
horrors and trauma of my life.}

_{Unable to contain
herself any longer, Elizabeth rose to hug Peter.}

_{“Yes a shock, but
we’re so proud of you because, well, look at you now!  However, I feel that the
story is not complete so continue. You must get this all out in the open. It
must  be left behind.”}

_{Peter looked at his
watch then pulled Jennifer to her feet.}

_{“My love, I’ve asked
you twice to marry me. All those years ago, at this time, my mother died. In
memory of her and my father, I’m asking you once more to marry me. I’m a
trained killer with a horrific background, but you’ve taught me to use my heart
for love. In spite of my myriad failings, will you still marry me?”}

_{Before answering,
Jennifer studied his face and ran a finger down his scar.}

_{“You fool, Peter. You’re
a big fool. All that’s in the past and I don’t see a killer here in front of me
now. I see a wonderful, loving man who’s mine from now to eternity. Yes, I’ll
marry you - and don’t bother asking again, you idiot.”}

_{Pulling his face down
to hers, she kissed him so passionately he had to gasp for breath.}

_{Slowly, giving
himself time to recover his equilibrium, Peter moved to the plaque. Unsheathing
one of the two Kukris, he read the inscription,}

_{To Honorary Major of the 6th Gurkha Brigade,}

_{Peter O’Brien.}

_{Let no man be fooled}

_{‘The Little One’ is a man to be feared.}

_{Jennifer wasn’t
surprised when he nicked his thumb before replacing the blade.}

_{“Yes, I am ‘The
Little One’,” he admitted, “But don’t be mistaken about its meaning. I was the
youngest Honorary Major of all time. I was sixteen, and I was given that honor
simply because I didn’t value my life and risked it to save my friends.”}

_{Andrew could restrain
himself no longer.}

_{“Well, Peter, you
haven’t changed much over the years. You risked your life to save Jennifer and
for that we are most grateful.”  Andrew’s sincere thanks cut across the story. “Show
Mum your bullet scars.”}

_{Ignoring the comment
and refusing to show anything more than his naked back, Peter smiled and, once
again squatted then, continued. “Look at those knives, look at the blow pipes
and see death. Feel my back and sense my hatred, my anger and despair. See all
my scars, look into my heart and know you’re a dead man if you touch my
family.”  Peter’s eyes swept over Jennifer and Elizabeth then the two men.}

_{Each of the family
shivered, knowing that those few words rang with truth. Months later, those
words ‘You’re a dead man if you touch a single member of my family’ would scorch
their hearts.}

_{“News of my promotion
and my so-called exploits were soon known in KL and I was escorted to a mansion
where I was re-united with my two Tamil sisters. Their father couldn’t do
enough for me, and enrolled me at Saint Francis Xavier’s College in Penang to
finish my secondary education.}