Wonder (Insanity Book 5) (13 page)

B
ACK IN
T
IME

A long darkness veils over my soul before I can even open my eyes. In my heart, I already know I’m back in time. It’s as if I can smell it. I wonder why a gut feeling doesn’t want me to open my eyes.

I’m lying on my back, on a thin mattress, probably directly on the floor. The place around me stinks. The rotten smell is familiar. Something about this past is terribly wrong.

Where am I?

I imagined myself waking up in a bed in my foster family’s house, still living a normal life, waiting for a phone call from Jack, maybe.

But this isn’t it. I need to open my eyes now.

But before I do, there is a knock on my door.

“Open
za
door!”

This can’t be. It’s Waltraud Wagner.

“Time to visit
yor
doctor.”

What? When?

My eyes fling open. I’m back in my cell in Radcliffe Asylum. The same cell I’ve been in for two years. The Tiger Lily in the pot bends over in the corner, the walls are stained with green grease, and the steel door shakes to Waltraud’s rapping.

I hear the rattling of keys. She is about to open the door.

“Waltraud?” I sit up.

The vicious warden stands before me, rapping her baton on her fatty hands. She tilts her head and grimaces at me. It’s as if she is surprised to see me, too.

“What am I doing here?”

“You’re on vacation, honey.” She cracks a laugh.

“A vacation?”

“From your mind.” She loops the baton next to her ears then laughs some more. “Soon enough you’ll learn the rules. I advise you to make up your mind now.”

“Make up my mind about what?”

“Do you want to be electrified in the Mush Room, or would you prefer the Lullaby pill?”

I am speechless. Something is wrong. Not just with the timing. All of this doesn’t add up.

“And before you attempt an escape,” Waltraud says, “always know you’re underground. It’s really hard to escape.”

“Waltraud!” I say. “What’s going on?”

“This is the second time you’ve called me by my name.” Waltraud stands back. “How do you know my name?”

“What do you mean how? You’ve been torturing me in the Mush Room for the past two years.”

“Oh, Lord.” She cups a hand on her mouth. “You’re like they said. A loon multiplied by infinity.” She lowers her head and taps her baton on my shoulder. “I’ve never seen you before, little girl. This is your first day in the asylum.”

Chapter 48

T
HE
P
AST:
R
ADCLIFFE
A
SYLUM,
O
XFORD

Waltraud pulls me by my hair. She drags me outside into the hallway I’ve seen a thousand times before.

Same old story. Same old torture. And same old madness.

Only it’s a different time. This is what Mrs. Tock warned me of. I’ve returned to a day after the accident.

“Where are you taking me?” I ask her, unable to figure out what to do next. I’m in a vicious loop. In the past, but at a time when my memories are no different from the present. I can’t possibly know where the keys are. Nor do I know why I killed everyone on the bus.

Back to square one. Welcome to hell all over again. My first day in the asylum. Am I going to relive the two worst years of my life?

“The doctor needs to see you,” Waltraud says. “He has to access the fresh loons and advise the proper treatment.”

“Dr. Tom Truckle, you mean?”

Now she pulls me harder, a little distressed. “Who are you, girl? You know too much about this asylum. You’ve been here before?”

“Yes.”

“I never saw you. When?”

“I come from the future.”

Waltraud glares at me then bursts out laughing. “Hilarious. I’m going to have so much fun with you.”

“You have to believe me,” I say. “I know about you. About Ogier.”

“Ogier?”

“The other warden.”

“I asked for another warden to help me, but they haven’t sent one yet.”

“See? I know things. His name is going to be Thomas Ogier. Bald. Tall. And Dumb.”

“What else do you know?” Waltraud stops and pushes me against the wall.

“I know about Tom Truckle’s pills. His terrible family. About the VIP ward upstairs. I know about the Mushroomers. Isn’t that what you like to call the mad in here?” I take a breath. Waltraud’s eyes scan me feverishly. “I’m not mad. I was here before. You have to let me go.”

“That’s what it’s about, then,” Waltraud says. “You figured out a few things about this place, maybe one of the Mushroomers told you, so I’d believe your silly time-travel story and let you go?”

“No, you don’t understand. I need to leave. I need to find my Wonder.”

“I will wonder you to death in the Mush Room, darling.”

“Please.”

“Not in a million years.” She drags me across the floor again. “I think it’s the pill that did this to you.”

“The pill?”

“I was against giving you the pill this morning,” Waltraud mumbles. “I told them it’s too soon. They didn’t believe me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Its effect will wither away within an hour,” Waltraud says. “Until then, I’ll have my fun with you.”

Think, Alice. Think.

I can’t let this keep going. I need to escape the asylum now. I need to find Mrs. Tock, so we can correct the path. This isn’t right. If Waltraud puts me back into my cell, I won’t be able to get out before twenty-four hours. I will die the worst death, in a time that isn’t mine, in a cell I left some time ago.

I take a deep breath and kick Waltraud in her most delicate place.

She drops down on her knees, her face reddening with pain. Her cheeks turn into gum bubbles that are about to explode. I wriggle my hair out of her hands, but she grips a handful as I run away.

Panting and writhing, I remind myself of the whereabouts of the main door. All I have to do is run. Kick some guards — although I have no None Fu in me now — and then get upstairs and out. I can’t stay in here.

The first guard attacks me, but I slash my arm at his weapon, throwing him off balance. I pick up the gun and fire at him.

I didn’t need to do that. What’s going on with me?

The Mushroomers go wild, rapping at their steel bars in their cells. “Alice. Mad Alice!”

The next guard stands before me, hesitant to shoot back. The fear in his eyes is perplexing. Was he so scared of me when I first arrived?

“Put your gun down, or I’ll shoot,” I say.

Surprisingly, he cooperates. “Please don’t kill me,” he says. “I’ll open the door leading upstairs for you.”

This is too easy. What’s the catch?

“Move.” I point my weapon. “Tell the others to open the gate upstairs. I want a car I can drive right away.”

“But of course.”

I feel like a commando, a fearless warrior, but it still doesn’t make sense, the way he’s scared of me.

The guards open the door for me, then lie flat on their stomachs, as if I am robbing a bank, hands behind their heads.

I step up to climb the stairs the moment when my greatest weakness attacks me. The one weakness that always messed with my escaping plans. I remember the one thing that matters to me the most.

This sucks. Now I have to go back to my cell, willingly. Because I can’t leave my Tiger Lily behind. Now I know what it means to me.

Chapter 49

Running back with a rifle in my hand, I convince myself I can do it. All I have to do is pick up the Tiger Lily, use the rifle on my way back, and get out of here.

I enter the cell, hug the plant with one hand, and remember the sight of my children in the future. Tiger’s boyish logic, his leadership at such a young age. Lily’s incredible innocence that would make her another version of Alice in Wonderland.

A tear rolls down my cheek. This time-traveling thing is a heart-wrenching journey. I understand the wisdom of not knowing the future now. If we do, we’re doomed by the curse of knowing.

I step outside, my rifle pointed out.

The guards are still on the floor. This should work. I will find Mrs. Tock and she will correct the path. I will save Jack, find the keys, and hopefully find my Wonder.

This is going to be all right, I tell myself. What more surprises could happen? I can’t think of any.

But I am wrong.

A firing burst of pain rushes through my knees, so painful I drop the pot on the floor. The image of my children cracking to pieces like china dolls almost kills me right away.

I fall to one knee, dropping the rifle. Then the other knee, which I can’t feel anymore. My body heats up from my toes to the back of my neck.

On my knees, I see Waltraud sneering at me. She has hit me with her baton, right in my knees, and now I can’t even move.

I fall on my face, unable to comprehend what’s happening to me. I needed to escape to find Mrs. Tock. Now, I won’t be able to move. Now… oh, God. Now, I’m paralyzed.

The nightmare.

Chapter 50

T
HE
P
RESENT:
I
NSIDE THE
I
NKLINGS,
O
XFORD

“What’s happening to her?” Fabiola yelled at the time couple. Alice, lying on the bed, was in great pain. Her hands were trembling, and her knees were twitching.

“Relax, White Queen.” Mrs. Tock was manicuring her fingernails. She seemed satisfied with the red color, now that she blew air onto it. “Pain comes with time travel.”

“Pain is very interesting,” Mr. Tick said, chin up, smoking a pipe. “But you should tell her what’s really going on, Mrs. Tock. We’re all in this together now.”

“What is she supposed to tell me?” Fabiola said.

Mrs. Tock sighed. She stopped breathing on her nails and said, “I can see what’s happening to her exactly.”

“What?” Fabiola said. “How?”

“It’s some form of telepathy,” Mrs. Tock explained. “I can’t contact her, though. I can only see, sometimes vaguely, where she’s at and what’s happening in her journey.”

“A most interesting talent, Mrs. Tock,” Mr. Tick commented. “Proud to be married to someone like you.”

“Thank you, Mr. Tick.”

“Shut up, creeps.” Fabiola reached for her Vorpal sword. “Tell me what you see. What’s happening to her?”

“She woke up in the wrong time,” Mrs. Tock explained. “A day after she killed her classmates.”

“Poor Alice.” Fabiola closed her eyes, her mouth clenched before she took a deep breath to calm herself down. “How can this be fixed?”

“She will have to find me with the address I’ve given here. That’s all,” Mrs. Tock said. “See? We’re not bad people.”

“Always misunderstood, Mrs. Tock,” Mr. Tick added.

“However, she has a little obstacle to solve,” Mrs. Tock said. “Someone has knocked out her knees.”

“Are you joking?”

“Not at all. Alice may be paralyzed from the knees down now,” Mrs. Tock said flatly. “But I’m sure she’ll find a way out.”

“You obnoxious little troll.” Fabiola raised her sword.

“She called me a troll.” Mrs. Tock snickered, then mustered a serious face immediately. “Don’t worry, White Queen. Alice’s broken knees are the least of her troubles, trust me.”

“Then what is?” Fabiola asked.

“She will wake up in another room now. She will meet a very important man. And she will have to deal with a big revelation, I believe.”

Chapter 51

T
HE
P
AST:
R
ADCLIFFE
A
SYLUM,
O
XFORD

I wake up in the room that scares me the most. A room I suspected was a figment of my imagination. A room where I am a cripple. Where a psychiatrist tells me I am mad. That there is no hope for my recovery but falling deeper into the rabbit hole of my madness.

My knees are numb. I can’t feel them. I can’t move. This feels so real, even in the past. I am not imagining this. Being crippled in this darkened room has always been my reality. I just never knew the circumstances that led to it.

Now it’s clear to me. Waltraud broke my knees while I tried to escape the first day I arrived in the asylum. And that’s when I met the faceless doctor behind the curtain of darkness separating us now.

“Welcome, Alice,” he says. I can’t see him. I can only smell the tobacco he’s smoking from a pipe. “It’s been a long time since we last met.”

As he speaks, I realize I’m not under the Lullaby pill’s influence now. My mind reels with memories. A lot of them now. I think I know who I am. I think I know what happened. But it can’t be true. It just can’t be.

Better listen to what the doctor has to say.

“I think the Lullaby pill was an early call,” he says. “I should have waited a little longer.”

“Why? What are you talking about?”

“I understand if you don’t remember correctly. I also understand if your memories seem a little shuffled. Fact and fiction will meld into each other. But it will only take a few moments before you remember.”

“Remember what?” The headache is killing me once. The memories twice.

“Remember who you really are.” He slightly rocks in his chair. He seems satisfied with this conversation.

“Who in the world am I?” I tilt my head and stare into the darkness he is hiding behind. Imagine you stare into a mirror and all you see is black. “Answer me!”

“Who do you think you are?”

Playing games again. The tobacco smells like the Pillar’s smoke. I know that much now. Is that possible? “Who am I?” My voice is weakening. I don’t want to start sobbing. Everyone deserves to know who they are.