Wonderful Lonesome (10 page)

Eli continued. “We will begin with a time of silent prayer so that we may know that we are acting in accordance with the Lord’s will in our decisions today.”

Willem glanced at Rudy, while around them others bowed their heads. Willem was accustomed to prayer, and he supposed Rudy was, too. Living and working alone on a wide expanse of plowed land allowed ample time to hum the hymns of the
Ausbund
and speak the words of Holy Scripture as prayer. Generally, though, when Willem was instructed to pray he preferred to know what he was praying for. What decisions did Eli Yoder expect they would be making? Willem inhaled softly and bowed his head. He could pray for the Holy Ghost to make His presence known. Such a prayer seemed relevant to any situation Willem had ever encountered.

Eli waited a good long time before speaking an audible “Amen.” Willem heard the relief on the breath of other men that they would now find out why they had gathered.

“We need a minister,” Eli said. “I have come to feel certain that if we were to nominate a faithful man from among our midst, we could invite a bishop to come and ordain him.”

Rudy’s hand went up.

Eli raised his eyebrows. “Do you have a nomination already, Rudy?”

“No sir. I have a question.”

Eli shifted his considerable weight on the small wooden chair.

“A year ago a bishop was here and left without preaching or giving us communion. I would be dishonest if I said I have not been wondering for many months why this was so.”

Heads turned from Rudy to Eli.

“We are not here to discuss the past,” Eli said. “Our need is for a future, and if we have no minister, we have no future. Now, I myself have come prepared to make a nomination.”

The only shade Ruthanna saw was in the shadow of her own buggy. She kept her word to Eber and did not situate herself anywhere near the Mullet barn. This was the first time he was out of her sight since that day in their own barn, and every moment stretched interminable. At intervals that did not exceed fifteen seconds, she lifted her eyes to make sure Eber was not emerging from the barn overheated and freshly ill.

Ruthanna spread the blanket on the ground beside the buggy, lowered herself onto it, and unfolded the bundle of sewing she had brought. She was nearly finished with a small quilt and just had to put the hem into two long white infant dresses. Feeling the tension rising in her chest with each glance toward the barn, she began to recite Psalm 23. When she came to, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,” Ruthanna stopped. A lump rising in her throat threatened to cut off her air and she skipped ahead to, “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.”

Then she made herself take a deep breath and begin stitching without looking up at the barn. She determined to finish a six-inch row of binding along the edge of the quilt before she raised her eyes again.

The wind was oddly still for the Colorado plain. Ruthanna was not sure whether to be grateful not to have hot, dusty air blasting into her face or to think that any movement at all would bring some relief to the perspiration trickling down her neck. She moistened her lips and focused on her row of stitching.

Ruthanna never knew what it was that made her sit up straight and look over her shoulder, through the undercarriage of the buggy, and into the eyes of a coyote. She froze, staring into the unmoving animal’s eyes. Every farmer in the region knew what it was like to have a coyote get into the henhouse before dawn—and in one attack destroy the steady flow of eggs that fed the family. Ruthanna had not heard any tales of settlers coming face-to-face with one in the day’s light, though.

If she moved, she might startle him into attack. But if he attacked first, her swelling belly and aching back would slow her down. And what was to keep him from leaping into the buggy if she tried to drive away? If he would come this close to begin with, what else might he do?

She started again at the beginning of Psalm 23, speaking the words in her mind over her pounding heart. This time she did not skip the unpleasant part as she held perfectly still and locked eyes with the coyote.

Finally the animal lost interest, turned around, and sauntered away. All Ruthanna wanted was to feel Eber’s arms around her.

Rudy meant no disrespect, and he did not pursue his question. Eli did not intend to respond, and the only other two men present who knew the answer would never defy Eli. Unsatisfied about why the rest of the men should remain uninformed and confused, Rudy crossed his arms and tilted his stool back on two legs while Eli made his nomination.

Noah Chupp. The cobbler.

Eli methodically listed Noah’s virtues. His mild temperament. His patience. His spiritual depth. His friendly relationships with everyone in the community. His family heritage of ministers, and the certainty that had he remained in Pennsylvania he would have been a minister before now. His grandfather had even been a bishop.

Noah Chupp humbly responded that he would need time to seek out the will of God in this matter. The assembly agreed that of course he should take as much time as he required to be sure. No one wanted to misinterpret the leading of the Lord.

As the meeting broke up, Rudy leaned toward Willem.

“Do you think we will ever know what happened last year?” Rudy asked.

Willem shrugged. “Do we need to?”

“If there is a reason why we have not been able to establish a true church before this, it affects us all. There may be division among us.”

“Everyone seemed of one accord about Noah Chupp,” Willem said softly. “Unless you are not.”

Rudy scratched his chin. “Noah is a fine man.”

“Then what is your hesitation?”

“I sense something must come into the light.”

Willem stood. “Let’s see what comes of praying over this matter. In the meantime, let’s see if Eber needs help.”

But I thought Noah Chupp was to be our minister.” Abbie scrunched her face in confusion.

In Mary Miller’s arms, Little Abe twisted to lean over and touch his new brown leather miniature boots.

“Mrs. Nissley says her husband believes it would be better if we began our church with a more experienced minister,” Mary said. “He thinks one might come from Kansas.”

“Does this minister know…the challenges of the settlement? He might need to find a way to make a living other than farming.” Abbie tried to picture where a new family might live. Plenty of land was for sale closer to Limon, or perhaps in the other direction toward Colorado Springs. Considering the nearly nonexistent crop yield last year, the price per acre might even have fallen since her father purchased land.

“I don’t think Mr. Nissley has anyone particular in mind just yet.”

Mary relented and set Abe on his feet, which Abbie thought sensible. That was the point of having shoes made. They stood beside the treeless cow pasture on Weaver land, so the boy would not wander out of sight.

Abbie’s confusion compounded. “If Mr. Nissley does not yet know of anyone willing to come, isn’t it premature to talk about the possibility? Besides, we all heard what the men decided. Noah Chupp was to pray over the matter and give an answer in two weeks. What if he says yes? Wouldn’t it be easier to find a bishop to ordain him than to persuade a minister who is already serving another district to move out here?”

“What if Noah says no?” Mary countered.

Then they would be back where they started. But if Adam Nissley thought enticing a minister from Kansas truly was an option, surely it would have happened by now.

“Let’s walk a little bit,” Abbie said, “and let Little Abe try out his shoes.”

“He has learned to say ‘off,’ but I want him to be used to them before the weather turns.” Mary began to amble in the direction her son led.

Abbie scanned the horizon. At winter’s worst, it was hard to imagine the days would ever blister this hot again. Now it was difficult to think of the weather turning. Snow could fall as early as mid-September—too late for the crop and too soon to hope a minister might come before spring.

“I think Noah Chupp would do a fine job,” Abbie said. “He makes wise decisions, and he was one of the first settlers to come. He loves the church, and he listens to the Holy Ghost.”

“I wonder why they didn’t think to ask him before this.” Ahead of them, Mary’s son lost his balance and fell on his bottom.

Abbie watched the tenacious child. While other toddlers might have wailed at falling in the dirt, Little Abe did the obvious thing. He put his hands on the ground and pushed himself upright again. Abbie’s imagination drifted forward forty years when Little Abe would just be Abe, or Abraham, and he might be called upon to lead the congregation that nurtured him from infancy under the leadership of many ministers.

“We all must pray,” Abbie said. “We followed God’s leading to come and settle here. We must not think that He would abandon us. Finding the right minister is a matter of God’s timing. Perhaps God has only begun to prepare the heart of our minister.”

“I long for communion.” Mary put a hand to the side of her head and pushed an errant braid into place. “I long for the unity that comes when we gather around the Lord’s table.”

“As do I,” Abbie murmured. Without a spiritual leader for much longer, she hated to think what would happen to morale among the settlers.

The knock on the door startled Ruthanna. It was a man’s knock, heavy fisted and insistent. She put down the baby’s quilt and pulled herself out of the chair before Eber stirred. Though he would deny it, in Ruthanna’s opinion Eber’s outing to the men’s meeting had sent him back to his bed in worse condition. He simply did not have the strength to spend half a day riding in a wagon and sitting upright. By God’s grace Ruthanna had refrained from chastising her husband about his choice, instead caring for him with the same tenderness she offered before their disagreement. She did not tell him about the lurking coyote that day, though she had folded the blanket and moved back up into the buggy, and instead of watching for Eber every fifteen seconds she moved her eyes back and forth across the horizon, turning also to look behind her.

She opened the door now expecting Willem or Rudy or one of the other men inquiring whether she needed help with anything beyond the usual chores.