Wonderful Lonesome (14 page)

“Does
Mamm
know you are taking salt pork?” Levi Weaver raised his blue eyes with the question.

Abbie put the lid back on the wooden barrel outside the Weaver back door and made sure it was closed tightly. “Yes, she does.”

“Is she sure we have enough food for you to take some?” Levi thumped the barrel lid himself.

Abbie carried a hunk of pork into the kitchen, where she had left a knife on the butcher block. Levi followed. “As you can see, I am only taking a little bit.”

“But
Mamm
always says every bit of food counts.” Levi’s tone carried no accusation.

“And she is right.” Abbie drew the knife through the pork and carved off five modest slices. She held one out to Levi.

The boy shook his head. “I wouldn’t feel right.”

“I am sure
Mamm
would want you to have it. She said only yesterday that she doesn’t believe you are eating enough.”

“I’m fine.”

Levi was such a serious child, Abbie thought. He was not anything like the two brothers in between the family bookends that Abbie and Levi formed. Daniel and Reuben were hardworking and respectful, but they did not carry the weight of the world on their shoulders.

“Levi, we have enough food. It probably feels like we eat the same things all the time. I suppose that’s true, but we have enough.”

“It can’t last forever.”

“We have to eat, Levi. That’s what food is for.”

“But you’re taking a picnic for Willem. Is he running out of food?”

Abbie wrapped the pork slices in a flour sack towel. “I don’t think so. But he’s a bachelor. We often share food with him and the others. You know that.”

He shrugged one shoulder and looked at his feet.

She sat in a chair and pulled him onto her lap. “God will provide, Levi. You must believe that. God gives us food to nourish us, and when we eat it we show that we are grateful for God’s gift. Do you understand?”

Levi dragged his bare toe in a circle on the floor. When had he gotten tall enough to still reach the floor when he sat in Abbie’s lap? He was going to be lanky like his brothers.

“I hope Willem is grateful for the food you’re taking him.”

“I’m sure he will be. Now help me pack the picnic. Get me a jar of apples from the back porch, will you?”

“We didn’t grow those apples,” Levi said. “
Mamm
had to buy them from the
English
.”

“They were too small for the
English
to sell in their market, and she got a very good price on the whole bushel. Now go get me a jar.”

Abbie ran down the mental list of foods she would use to entice Willem on a midday picnic. She had fresh bread, egg salad, spiced apples, half a sponge cake, and salt pork. And she would be sure to take plenty of water. It would be an act of faith that surely God would soon send rain.

Abbie smiled down at Willem from the buggy bench, and he leaned on the fence post with both arms.

“You must have driven halfway around my farm to find me out here,” he said.

“I very nearly gave up and thought perhaps you had gone into Limon and didn’t mention it to me.”

“Now why would I do that when you make such fine company?”

“What are you in the middle of?”

Willem liked the way her nose scrunched when she asked questions instead of coming right out with what was on her mind.

“I can’t seem to grow anything,” he said. “But I’m thinking of marking off a road from the back side of my property.”

Abbie smiled. “We go that way all the time anyway. Might as well make it a faster way.”

“I was pretty sure you would figure that out.” Willem raised his hat and ran a hand through his hair. “Why have you tracked me down out here in the far corners?”

She brightened further. “I packed a picnic. Let’s drive somewhere and find a nice spot.”

“A picnic? For no reason?”

“Your favorite cake. Admit it. You can’t resist.”

Willem looked over his shoulder in the direction of his future road. He had wanted to pace off his planned route and begin calculating how many stones he would need to line the edges for the entire length. If conditions persisted, dry soil would blow off toward Kansas and leave stones uncovered. He would rather have had a good crop and have to dig rocks out. Willem looked again at Abbie’s face shining under the brim of the bonnet she wore over her prayer
kapp
and admitted what he was doing did not qualify as urgent. And a man did need to eat lunch, after all.

“All right, then.” He brushed his hands together to clear them of dirt. “But I want you to let me drive.”

“Of course.” Abbie slid over on the bench.

Willem hoisted himself into driving position and signaled the horse to make a wide turn. Abbie was a good driver but too slow. She would wander all over searching for the perfect spot—which of course did not exist. A picnic called for temperate weather, not oppressive heat. A picnic called for shade, not one exposed field after another. A picnic called for a cool breeze off a lake or river, not dust blowing in their eyes. Had Abbie even thought about these realities, or did she see in her mind’s eye the river and oak trees of Ohio rather than the dried creeks and half-dead scrub oak of Colorado? Willem wondered how long it would take to grow a decent shade tree in this part of the country. Maybe their grandchildren would be able to sit under one.

Abbie spread a quilt out on the ground. The spot of shade Willem had spied was barely big enough for the two of them to sit beside a large bush, but she did not complain. They had not passed any more promising options, and at least it was a patch of green instead of unending brown dirt. Abbie still did not know the names of all the odd vegetation of the Colorado plain.

She had used an empty fruit bushel to hold the picnic food. It had seemed like plenty in the kitchen, but out here it appeared sparse.
Gratitude
, she reminded herself. At the bottom of the bushel basket were two plates, and she handed one to Willem. They paused for a silent prayer. Abbie asked for the assurance her heart craved. Of Willem’s love for her. Of his faithfulness to the church. Of the only choice she could bear to hear him voice. She waited until she heard Willem moving before she opened her eyes.

“Eat!” she urged.

“This is quite a feast for a simple bachelor’s lunch.” Willem laid two slices of pork on his plate.

Abbie let her breath out. Willem did not require fancy food. Why had she let herself fuss? She spooned egg salad onto his plate, and he selected a thick slice of bread.

“I suppose I must eat my lunch before I can have cake,” he said.

Abbie chuckled. Her own plate was still empty.

“Aren’t you going to eat?” Willem set his plate on the quilt and reached for the jar of apples and twisted off the cap.

“Yes, I will.” She made no move to serve herself any food.

Willem set down the apples. “Abigail Weaver, something is on your mind.”

She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “There’s plenty of time to talk. I want you to enjoy your lunch.”

“I thought the purpose was to enjoy lunch together.”

“It is.” Abbie reached for the egg salad and a slice of bread. “How long have you been thinking of making a road?”

“It has always been in the plan, when I found the time. I might get started on it this year, but soon we will all have to start laying in coal for the winter, and that’s a lot of work.”

“Will we have a harsh winter, do you think?” Abbie used a fork to spread egg salad around on her plate without moving any to her mouth.

“
Gottes wille
.” Willem put a piece of bread in his mouth, chewed slowly, and swallowed. “Perhaps we should talk about whatever is on your mind.”

“All right.” Abbie set her plate down and looked Willem in the eye. “If you had to choose between making your farm successful and staying with the church, which would you choose?”

Willem did not shift position, but Abbie could see that he was moving his tongue over his teeth, first the bottom then the top.

“Come with me,” he whispered.

Come with you where?” Abbie felt her heart skipping beats.

“Think of the life we can have together.” Willem put one elbow down on the quilt and leaned toward Abbie.

“I don’t understand. Do you want to follow the Chupps to Nebraska?”

He shook his head. “I want to make my farm work. We may be peaceable people, but I am going to fight for my land. Everything I have is invested there.”

Abbie moistened her lips and set her untouched plate aside. “Then what are you saying?”

Willem held her gaze with his green eyes as her breaths grew shallow. Finally he turned his head and looked to the horizon.

“Would it be so awful to be Mennonite?” he said.

“So you’ve made up your mind?” Abbie’s heart pounded. She had waited all this time for Willem because she never doubted they would one day be together—not until now.

“I haven’t decided anything,” Willem said, his voice thick with earnest conviction, “except that I want this farm to work more than anything I’ve ever wanted.”

More than you want me
. The truth clanged in her mind like
English
church bells. “What has that got to do with turning Mennonite?” Abbie asked.

Willem picked up a twig, snapped it, and flicked half of it away. “Noah Chupp’s decision to move away was disheartening to some of the other men.”

“To the women as well.”

“Noah did not think the settlement will succeed. What if he’s right?”

“He will be right if we allow ourselves to think that way.” Abbie stood up, unable to keep her feet still. “We’ll fight this drought together. We will be all right. That’s what you always say.”

Willem pulled his knees up under his chin and wrapped his arms around them. “What if the threat is more than the drought? Bad weather is not the only thing that can break the back of the most determined of men.”

“Willem Peters, you must not allow your mind to dwell on such things. We must encourage one another, now more than ever.” Abbie paced three steps away from the blanket and pivoted sharply to return, forcing herself to sit down and discuss Willem’s concern like a calm adult.

“Not everything we first heard about Colorado has proven to be wrong,” Willem said. “It is a different kind of beautiful than Ohio or Pennsylvania, but it is the handiwork of God. We could have a good life here. You and me, together.”

This was not the sort of proposal Abbie had always supposed she would eventually hear from Willem. His words were far too conditional. She eased pent-up breath out of her chest.

“Why should we not have a lovely life here if we choose to spend it together?” she said.

“Because the church may not be here, Abbie. You have to see how precarious the situation is.”

“One family left. That changes nothing.”

“It changes everything. The solidarity is broken.”

“Perhaps Noah was not a true believer after all. Perhaps that is why it was so easy for him to leave.”

“Easy?” Willem shook his head. “It was not easy. And I do not believe you could doubt the faith of a man like Mr. Chupp.”

She flushed, knowing he was right about Noah.