Wonderland (Intergalactic Fairy Tales Book 1) (11 page)

In her mind Alice kept hearing the queen shout “Off with his head,” and the vorpal sword agreed. She wasn’t quite up for that sort of thing. Alarm bells were screaming in her mind, so it made it hard to focus on finding a non-violent way out of this situation. There was nowhere to run. The elevator was approaching quickly. Level forty-nine, fifty, fifty-one…

The doors to the elevator popped open and Karl stepped toward them. Alice stood rooted firmly in place which took him by surprise and wrecked his balance, forcing him to either spin slightly toward her or stumble. Even in that moment where he nearly fell, his hand never left her mouth. She’d been counting on that. The sword slid from its scabbard with a strange vibrating ring. It arced in front of her with astonishing speed, though to Alice time seemed to slow. She watched the sword move through its arc from her left hip, angled directly toward Karl’s left forearm. It passed through it as easily as a hot knife through butter. In her vision the spray of blood was so slow that it came out as individual drops that she could almost count. The hand finally left her mouth and dropped to the floor. His screams came to Alice as if from a long distance. She watched the hand flop to a rest at her feet with mild fascination while tiny drops of warm blood trailed down her arm.

The guards near the elevator stared in complete shock. Apparently they weren’t used to anyone other than themselves spilling blood. Their hands hadn’t even reached their swords by the time Alice stepped gingerly over Karl’s severed limb and stepped into the elevator. She shook the blood from the vorpal sword with a quick flick of her wrist and sheathed it at her side. She pressed the button for the first floor.

As soon as her hand left the sword the pandemonium of the room she’d left washed over her. There were shouts of alarm and panic coming from the assembled crowd and the tramping of booted feet headed her way. Over it all came the sobbing wails of Karl, who had collapsed to the floor and was clutching at the remainder of his left arm. Nobody payed him the least bit of attention. Every eye that Alice could see was trained on her. The elevator doors closed, muffling the chaos and she finished the motion to press the button for the ground floor.

The inside of the elevator doors were a shiny silver and gave Alice a decent look at herself. She looked a fright, with gore spattered over her clothes and skin. Her entire right hand was covered in red, as was the hilt of the sword. She expected to feel triumphant, having conquered someone who had been trying to hurt her. Instead, her whole body began to tremble. Not because she’d done something horrific. She wasn’t at all sorry for what she’d done. She trembled because all she could imagine was what would have happened if she hadn’t reacted in time and he had thought to take her sword. The silver walls of the elevator began to press in around her. She’d seen a fox hunt a couple of years ago. The frightened noises it made as it fled the hounds still haunted her. She could imagine herself in its place, the baying of the hounds closing in. Bile rose up in her throat and she emptied the fine meal she’d had in the corner of the elevator.

The elevator was nearing the bottom of the building, so she stood and tried to compose herself. It was hard to do through the sobs that wracked her body. Over and over she wished desperately that she would wake up, but nothing happened. A sharp pinch to her arm just made her wince. There was no waking up from this twisted nightmare. She would simply have to find a way to pull through it. By herself.

The elevator doors opened and she was greeted by a pack of men decorated like playing cards and wielding swords. That’s when she remembered that she wasn’t alone. She had a friend, and her name was Snicker-snack.

Two of the men lunged in after her, their swords held before them. She gripped the hilt of her sword and then hit the floor. Their swords passed over her in a whoosh of air and then collided with the back of the elevator, ringing it like a bell. Snicker-snack poured advice and strategy into her mind at blinding speed. A kick to each of the guards’ kneecaps bought her the time she needed to roll to the side and draw the sword from its scabbard. The sword told her these men planned to kill her and that she should respond with the same level of ferocity. That wasn’t a line she was ready to cross. Instead, she lashed out with two lightning fast strikes cutting their blades off a few inches above the hilt. The vorpal sword made a strange sound as it cut through the swords. It wasn’t exactly snicker-snack, but it was close. It made Alice smile. Whoever made the vorpal sword must have been a genius to design a blade that could talk to its user and cut through steel without hesitation, the kind of genius with a silly sense of humor.

The guards watched the dangerous parts of their swords fall to the elevator floor with a clang and then looked up to see Alice’s smile. They turned and bolted from the elevator, practically knocking the guards behind them over. Alice followed them out.

When it suited her, she found she could keep the blade from cutting through their weapons. Mostly she didn’t bother. It was only when she used the sword’s special cutting ability that it made the delightful snicker-snack noise she loved so much.

Guards came at her from all sides, some waving swords and others the metal clubs that delivered agony with a soft touch. None of them ever found her skin. She danced through them like a ballerina, flicking her sword at a leg here, an arm there, parrying a guard’s blade into his comrade’s side. The card guards did their best to take her down, but they obviously weren’t used to dealing with an enemy who fought back. They were so inept that she didn’t feel the need to kill any of them for her safety. She disabled them as quickly as they came at her. They all bled, but she was certain none of them would die if their wounds were promptly treated. That bit of knowledge came from the sword as well, she thought. As she fought it became harder and harder to distinguish her thoughts from those the vorpal sword gave her.

The lobby was massive and Alice had fought her way all the way through it and to the exit in what felt like a blink of an eye. Behind her lay a bloody deck of cards, groaning and clutching at their wounds. Her sword arm felt like a lead weight as she slid the blade into its scabbard and bolted down the street.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

The air outside The Red Palace was cool and crisp. There still wasn’t even a glow of the sun on the horizon, but the street was still practically as bright as day, awash in neon lights. Either the neon didn’t show the blood she was covered in very well, or the people on the street were so jaded or self-involved they didn’t care that Alice looked like she’d been through a massacre.

After running a couple dozen blocks and turning whenever she ran into a red light, she stopped, wheezing and out of breath. There hadn’t been any signs of a pursuit, but she needed to get off the street. There was no way they were just going to let her go after maiming one of the queen’s friends and at least a dozen of her guards. She berated herself for not going to the docks and attempting a getaway on The White Rabbit. Some pirate she was, making her escape on foot instead of on a ship.

The street Alice found herself on was rather on the seedy side. There was trash everywhere and more than a few eyes peered at her from darkened corners and alleyways. Once she caught her breath she continued down the sidewalk, studying the signs on the buildings, looking for a place that she could get lost in for a few hours while she formulated a plan to get off this planet and back home.

Just ahead of her, perfectly lit in one of the few functional street lights, was the cat man she’d run into on her way to The Red Palace. He didn’t say a word, just beckoned to her with one clawed finger and walked around the corner. He’d implied that he knew how to get a ship and get off Wonderland. Maybe now he’d give her some answers.

She jogged after him, not having the strength left to run. She rounded the corner in time to see him wave her onward and then step past a hulking man to enter a building.

Alice approached the massive wall of flesh warily, looking up at the glowing sign above the door. It proclaimed that the place was called Tea Time. When she looked back down she blinked and shook her head. She was seeing double. Maybe she’d hit her head when she’d fought her way out of The Red Palace. No amount of shaking and blinking cleared the second giant from her vision. She was forced to concede that the largest man she’d ever seen was actually two identical men wearing identical outfits. They blinked down at her from under heavy brows. Every inch of them was covered in rippling muscle, barely contained by their black dress pants and red t-shirts labeled “Staff” in large white letters across the chest. They would have been the most intimidating men she’d ever seen if they hadn’t both been grinning down at her with such innocence.

“Street like this is no place for little girls,” said the goon on the left.

“Right, Dum,” said the goon on the right, nodding vigorously. “But she does have pretty hair.”

“What has that got to do with anything, Dee?” asked Dum.

“Ain’t got nothing to do with anything but her hair,” said Dee, his eyebrows bunching. “Why you asking silly questions?”

“It isn’t a silly question just because you don’t understand it,” said Dum with a sigh.

Alice couldn’t see any end to their conversation in sight, so she cleared her throat. “Did a man looking very much like a cat just go in here?”

“Oh, that’s Cheshire,” said the goon on the right, who she was pretty sure was Dee. They were still impossible to tell apart.

“You didn’t exactly answer her question, Dee,” said Dum, shaking his head. “Yes, Cheshire did just go inside. He’s been banned a dozen times, but hell if I know how to keep him out when he doesn’t seem to need a door to get in.”

“That’s just what I said, Dum. Don’t make out like I’m stupid,” said Dee petulantly, his lower lip protruding.

“I never said you were stupid Dee, and never will,” said Dum, patting his brother on the shoulder. “You’d kick my ass if I did.”

“Damn right, I’m a helluva fighter,” said Dee, his face lighting up with a grin. He patted his bulging biceps and then flexed, making them pop up even further.

“Well, if he’s in there, I might as well go in and have a chat with him,” said Alice, pulling the handle on the red, metal door between them. A cloud of sweet smoke and a thumping bass beat poured out into the night air.

“Good luck,” said Dum. “If he doesn’t want to be found you won’t find him, so you better hope he’s in a chatty mood.”

“And young miss?” said Dee.

“Alice, my name is Alice.”

“And young Alice, if you need help, just give a shout and we’ll come runnin’. There’s some unsavory characters in there.”

She hadn’t heard the loud music until she opened the door. There was no way they would ever hear her from inside, no matter how hard she screamed. There didn’t seem to be much of a point in arguing, so she simply nodded and said, “Thank you, Dee.”

As she stepped inside and the door closed behind her, she heard Dee say, “Hey, how’d she know my name? I never told ’er.”

Inside, Tea Time was dark and smelled strongly of the sweet smoke Absolem the caterpillar had been blowing at her. There was a bar to the right, crowded with patrons. The dance floor was a raised area straight ahead. Off to the left were tables on various levels, most of them had a hookah in the center and a group of people huddled around them. Cheshire was nowhere to be seen, so Alice wandered over toward the table area and took a seat.

A woman in very tiny black shorts and a white tank top strutted over to her table, a notepad and pen in her hands. It was hard to tell in the dim lighting, but it appeared that her skin was actually light blue, and her hair was stark white, putting off a slight glow from a black light somewhere above. She held an empty tray in front of her with both hands. Alice blinked. A notepad and pen in two hands, and a tray held by two more. The woman had four arms.

“Welcome to Tea Time,” said the waitress, grinning down at Alice. She flipped the tray in her lower arms, and then, with an exaggerated flourish, touched her pen to the notepad. “What can I get for you?”

While she waited for a response, the woman idly flipped her empty tray with her lower set of arms and watched Alice with an amused smile. Alice watched the arms with rapt attention, tracing them back up to her torso. They met her body at about the level of her breasts. There was an additional set of holes in her tank top to accommodate them.

“Ahem,” said the woman, and Alice blushed, realizing she’d been staring for quite some time. “Since my boobs aren’t anything special, I’m assuming you’re staring at my arms.”

“I’m sorry,” said Alice, “I didn’t mean to. I’ve just never seen…”

“Don’t worry about it honey, it happens all the time. They’re just arms like yours. See?” She held out an arm for Alice to look at closer. “I just have an extra set. It makes this job quite a bit easier.”

“I bet it does,” said Alice, smiling. She pulled her gaze away from the woman’s arms and back up to her eyes. “I bet a lot of things are easier with four hands.”

“You bet, honey,” said the waitress, giving Alice a wink. “Now, what can I get you?”

“Oh, nothing thanks, I was just here trying to find a friend that came in a bit ago. He doesn’t seem to be around though.”

“Well, you’re cute and all, but that’s against the rules. You have to buy something or you can’t sit in here. You’re welcome to wait outside for your friend, but if you want to wait in here you have to buy at least a little something.”