Wonderland (Intergalactic Fairy Tales Book 1) (14 page)

"It most certainly is not," groused Alice, and then immediately regretted it when Lyla's ears sagged. "I'm sorry Lyla. I didn't mean that it was a bad size to be. It's just that--"

"Hush child," hissed Lyla.

"No, really, I didn't mean--"

"Hush," growled Lyla, baring her four sharp front teeth.

Alice jumped and then stepped back into the fabric of her shirt, trying to hide. "Sorry," she whimpered.

Lyla stepped closer and Alice shrunk further back. "Don't be scared," whispered the dormouse. "I wasn't angry at you. Can't you hear the commotion up there?"

Alice tilted her head up, listening intently. The rumbling that she recognized as speech by the full sized people had intensified and there were loud metallic sounds. If she mentally adjusted the sounds down to a smaller size, she imagined them to be the ringing of drawn swords. The voices were angry shouts. "Is someone fighting?" asked Alice.

"Only with words," said Lyla, climbing back up the pile of fabric, her head tilted to the side. "Quiet now, so I can listen."

The sounds intensified and Lyla drew her sword. "If I go up there, you stay put."

Alice nodded and pulled her shirt closer. There wasn't anything she could do at her current size. Even her sword wouldn't be any help, now being many times larger than she was. She could imagine the palace guards roughing up March and Seamus. If they were taken by the guards, she had no idea what she would do.

Lyla climbed down from the fabric wall and heaved a great sigh. She licked her paws and then flicked them over her ears in a nervous gesture. "That was close. I think you owe your life to Cheshire."

"What happened?" asked Alice.

"The card guard showed up looking for you. They knew you were here and that they were charged with bringing you to the palace to face the queen's judgment. They looked all around and couldn't find you. I think Cheshire must have hidden the vorpal sword because it's not on the floor any more. If they had found it, you would have been sunk."

"Are they gone now?" asked Alice, peering up into the black space above and still not able to see anything other than the underside of the table.

"Yes, they stormed off, threatening to behead anyone who gave you aid," said Lyla in her normal speaking voice, which was quite beautiful to Alice's small ears.

"What do we do now?" asked Alice. "I can't just stay here hiding in a pile of my clothes. They'll eventually come back if they can't find me elsewhere."

Lyla nodded. "True enough, and while my size is nice for me, I don't think you'll be very effective without some good strong paws and my agility. We need to get you back to your original size."

"How did I end up small in the first place?"

"Must have been the Tea. Guess you weren't mad after all. It's supposed to shrink your mental problems so that they're more manageable. I guess it just shrunk all of you instead."

"I kept trying to tell you all that I wasn't mad," groaned Alice. "But nobody would believe me."

"Well, one of the classic signs of being mad is that you generally don't know you are to begin with. Everyone here tends to just assume they're at least a little bit mad because of the Jabberwock."

"So what do I do about this shrinking business?" asked Alice.

"First, I'll go grab some spare clothes from my bag up on the table. You can't get anywhere if you're going to cower behind your enormous shirt."

She said it with such a sweet, mothering tone that it made Alice smile. "Thank you."

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Alice stood on the top of the table, looking down at her new outfit. Lyla had a shirt and vest that fit her quite well, and since she didn't wear pants, they'd been able to make a simple skirt out of a bit of her old shirt.

Seamus and March looked down at her and fretted. "We didn't know that could happen," they said repeatedly.

"It's fine," said Alice, realizing that she truly believed it. "We'll figure this out, or find someone who can."

"Yes!" exclaimed Seamus, pointing a finger up into the air. "I know just the one to figure this out."

"Great," said Alice, bouncing on the balls of her feet. "Who is it? How can we find them and get me big again?"

"You've already met him," said Seamus. "Absolem is the one who imports the stuff they make the Tea out of. He probably knows more about it than anyone in Wonderland. He'll know what to do about this."

"Oh yes," said March. "Absolem will know just the thing. There is one small problem though."

"Payment," said Lyla with a sigh. "That caterpillar is the greediest bugger in Wonderland next to the queen."

"The only thing I have of value is the vorpal sword," said Alice.

The sword had appeared on the table by the time Alice had made it up there, clutching to Lyla's back. Seamus had offered to pick her up, but she'd been too afraid of getting smashed between his fingers.

"Oh, no," said Seamus. "You can't give up the sword. You're going to need it to storm the palace."

"Well, I can't very well storm the palace with a sword that's ten times my size, now can I?" sniped Alice, crossing her arms in front of her.

"Point for the girl who's not insane," said Lyla.

"I'm about as penniless as they come," said March.

"Me as well," said Seamus with a sigh. "I'm afraid they may toss me out on my ear any time I try to get them to add something to my tab here."

"What about you, Lyla?" asked Alice. "Do you have any money I could borrow to pay the caterpillar?"

"Never had much use for money," said Lyla. She licked up a drop of Tea that was on the edge of a saucer. It wouldn't have been more than a speck to Alice when she was her normal size. To her now, it was a good sized drink. "Being this small has many advantages."

"Well, he gave me something for free once already," said Alice, remembering the worthless bit of mushroom in her dress pocket. "Maybe he'll do it again."

All three of her companions gasped. It was strange listening to Seamus and March talk with their booming voices, but she was slowly growing accustomed to it. "What's wrong?" asked Alice.

"Didn't you hear us about how Absolem is greedy?" asked March.

"He never gives anything for free," said Seamus. "Not even to his own mother."

"Well, it was just a measly old mushroom," said Alice, still not sure what the big deal was. Everyone did something nice for someone else every now and then, didn't they?

"What did he say when he gave it to you?" asked Lyla, gripping Alice by the shoulders.

The intensity in her gaze made Alice's stomach drop. "I'm not sure..."

"Think child," said Lyla, still staring intensely. "If you owe him something and go back there without paying, it would be worse than if you handed yourself over to the queen."

Alice thought back to her conversation with the caterpillar. He hadn't been very helpful at all, mostly talking in circles. Somehow she'd managed to get out of him to check at the palace docks for The White Rabbit. "He said something about how the first one's always free..."

"Well, that'd be the first time I've ever heard him say anything of the sort," said Lyla, relaxing her grip and stepping away. She breathed a small sigh of relief. "At least it sounds like you're not in trouble with him."

"Did he say anything else about this mushroom?" asked Seamus, a curious glint in his eye.

"You know, I think he did," said Alice, rolling her eyes up and to the right. It always seemed to help her think. "He said something about it making me feel, um..." It was right on the tip of her tongue. She tapped her chin with a finger while her friends stared at her as if she were deciding the fate of the world. "He said it would make me feel ten feet tall!"

"Oh, that's quite interesting indeed," said Seamus, apparently missing the point.

"But what if it doesn't just make me feel ten feet tall, but could actually make me grow again?" asked Alice, helping him along her train of thought.

"That sounds impossible," said the hatter. "We absolutely must give it a try!"

Alice turned to Lyla. "The mushroom is in the pocket of my dress..." She trailed off, her chin dropping to her chest.

"You weren't wearing a dress," said Lyla, looking confused.

"I was when I was in the Imagisphere," said Alice, her tone desolate. "I changed my clothes there, but I didn't put the mushroom in my pants."

"Well, it looks like we're back where we started then," said March.

"Where is that?" said Seamus, still seeming a bit confused.

Alice glared at him and he looked so abashed that she immediately regretted it.

"I'm sorry Alice, I was just pondering the possible scientific uses for these new effects of Tea and this mushroom you are talking about. It's quite fascinating." Seamus shook his head rapidly, knocking his top hat askew. "There, shook it off. So, I guess we have to get you over to Absolem, then."

"And figure out some form of payment," said Alice glumly.

"Absolem will take some strange things as payment," said March. "I guess you'll just have to talk to him and see, since none of us has any money."

Alice sighed. Nothing was ever easy in Wonderland. "Well, I guess we should be going."

"Oh, we can't go with you," said Seamus.

"Most definitely not," said March.

Alice looked from one to the other. They looked completely serious. It was the last straw. Heat welled up to her face and she felt the prick of tears in her eyes. "But," was all she managed to say before a great sob burst from her chest and hot tears rolled down her cheeks.

Seamus flapped his hands about, unsure what to do to console Alice since she was only a couple of inches tall. He finally reached down with a finger and managed to stroke the top of her head. Alice swatted him away and continued to sob.

Lyla stepped up behind her and rubbed her back gently, cooing in her sweet, soothing voice. "There, there, dear. They would go with you if they would be of any help. They aren’t much good if they go without Tea for too long. I will go with you though, and I think we may have some other friends that will help."

Alice looked up through her blurry eyes and found that two new hulking shapes were standing beside the table. She blinked and rubbed at her eyes until she could clearly see that Dee and Dum were standing there grinning down at her.

"We heard that Alice was in need of some transport," said Dum.

"What he said," said Dee.

"How did you hear that?" asked Alice.

"That annoying cat," grumbled Dee. "One of these days I'm going to skin him and wear his invisible hide as a hat."

"Wouldn't be much of a hat if it was invisible, Dee," said Dum.

"Well, whatever. I'd still know it was there keeping me head warm and that's good enough."

"So," said Alice, cutting them off before they could spiral into an hour long conversation, "you said you would be willing to take me where I need to go?"

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

A few minutes later, Dee, Dum, Lyla, and Alice were headed down the street outside Tea Time. Alice and Lyla were perched atop Dum's shoulder, which was much nicer than one would think. To Alice it seemed very much like sitting on a massive bed that swayed gently as if trying to rock her to sleep.

"How far from here to the caterpillar's place?" asked Alice.

"Not long," said Dee unhelpfully.

"Probably about a half hour on foot," said Dum, rolling his eyes at his brother.

Alice turned to Lyla who was sharpening her sword with a small stone. "What do you think Absolem will want for some of that mushroom, or whatever it will take to make me big again?"

"No idea," said Lyla, pausing in her sharpening. "Could be he'll want a thousand credits and could be he'll want a bit of pocket lint. That caterpillar is a strange one."

"Well, I don't even have any pocket lint," said Alice, sighing heavily.

"I've got gobs of it," said Dee, digging in his pocket. "Belly button lint too, if you need it. He started to lift his shirt.

"I'll let you know," said Alice. She averted her eyes as Dee began poking around in his belly button with a thick finger. "Thank you."

Dee dropped his shirt and tucked it behind Snicker-snack, which he'd clipped to his belt. It didn't look like much more than a dagger next to his tall frame. "All right, Miss Alice, you let me know if you need it."

They walked on in companionable silence for several minutes, Dee and Dum making good progress with their long legs. Lyla scurried about from one of Dum's shoulders to the other, her whiskers constantly twitching, her nose sniffing the air.

"Is something wrong?" asked Alice. She looked around, expecting a whole platoon of card guards to file out of every alley they walked by. The streets were relatively deserted. Dawn had begun to brighten the sky on their left.

"Something just doesn't smell right," said Lyla, her nose twitching even more furiously.