Wonderland (Intergalactic Fairy Tales Book 1) (16 page)

"Who's dead?" said a small husky voice just behind Alice.

Alice whipped around, scraping her knees on the pavement. It couldn't be. She'd been hit so hard. But it was. Lyla was standing right there, a crooked grin on her face, despite the swollen eye and a spot of blood around her mouth.

"Oh, Lyla," crooned Alice. She pulled herself up off the ground and raced over to wrap the dormouse in a crushing hug. "You're alive!"

Lyla winced and Alice relaxed her grip. "Take a lot more than some stupid Bandersnatch tail to take me down."

"But you're hurt," said Alice, looking Lyla over for more injuries.

"Well of course I am," said Lyla exuberantly. "I think I was airborne for about three days before I landed in that trash heap over there. It was a pretty soft landing all things considered, but I think I lost consciousness because when I opened my eyes next, I heard you over here keening."

"You're not badly hurt, though?" asked Alice, still unable to believe a creature as small as the dormouse could take such a beating.

"Bumps and bruises mostly, though I expect you all to nod along when I tell this story to future generations and I come out looking like a mashed potato." She laughed long and hard about that and that sound made Alice happier than she could ever have imagined.

"Well, you did take down the Bandersnatch pretty much singlehanded," said Dum, grinning fiercely.

"Not even close," countered Dee, missing the point entirely. That time everyone laughed, even Dee.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

The rest of the trip to Absolem's place was uneventful. Alice and Lyla returned to their perch on Dum's shoulder and kept a watchful eye for more danger. Alice tried to return the other half of Lyla's sword to her, but she refused to take it.

"You did a fine job on that beastie," she said. "You hang onto it until you get your proper sword back on your hip. I can't imagine anyone better to have my back than you."

"Neither can I," said Alice. Lyla pulled a sword belt out of her pack and helped her buckle it on.

"Bah, you don't have to flatter me," said Lyla, but her black eyes held a proud glint.

"Well, this is the place," said Dum, stepping up to the door of the only well maintained building in the area.

The building didn't look like much from far away, but from closer up it was an immaculate house, more of a mansion, really. It seemed better suited for a country setting with a dirt path leading up to the home. Instead, it was surrounded by asphalt. There wasn't even really a yard to speak of. Most of the greenery in front of it was kept in large pots. Only a couple of large trees had spots punched through the asphalt and into the ground.

One tree in particular caught the eye. It was a large fruit tree, but it looked rather peculiar because of the many different shades of the leaves. Alice stepped close and noticed that there were plums, peaches, and several other varieties of fruits that she didn't immediately recognize, all growing on the same tree. On closer inspection there were a lot more types of branches that weren't currently producing fruit.

"That's impossible," said Alice, for what felt like the hundredth time.

"The caterpillar loves rare things," said Lyla. "Maybe that's why he's taken an interest in you."

Alice blushed and tilted her head down to look at Dum's shirt between her knees. "I'm just a girl."

"Well," said Lyla, "no 'just a girl' I know has left her home planet, stolen from the queen, cut off one of her guest's hands, and gotten shrunk down to mouse size all in the course of a day."

"But most of those are things that just happened. They don't really make me rare or special."

"Life just happens, Alice. What makes us special is how we react to it."

Alice didn't know what to say to that, so she stayed silent.

Dum, who had obviously been waiting for them to finish their conversation, reached up and knocked on the door. It made a resounding thunk. One of the thugs that had menaced at Absolem’s side opened the door, a gun in his hand.

"You don't have an appointment," said the thug. He waved the gun back out toward the sidewalk. "Bugger off."

Dee growled and reached for his pack, obviously intending to do violence. "I'll show you our appointment, you little toad." The man didn't seem at all phased by Dee, who stood a full head above him and probably weighed twice as much.

"Tell Absolem that young Alice is here to see him," said Dum, placing a meaty hand on his brother's arm to stop him from pulling out an axe.

"Who the hell is Alice, and why would Absolem care?" asked the thug, looking around the stoop to see if there were other hidden characters lurking.

"Young Alice is right here," said Dum. He knelt so that the thug was on a good level to see her and Lyla perched on his shoulder. "And I think that's exactly why he would care."

The thug stepped closer and squinted at Alice, his terrible breath blowing over her in a hot wave. He smelled like alcohol and cigarettes mixed with rotting meat. "Oh, it's the brat that thought she was a pirate, and now she's the size of a rat. Brat, rat." He laughed to himself. "Look, I'm a poet and didn't even know it. This should be good for a laugh." The thug stepped back away from the door to allow them to come in. “Take off your shoes.”

They stepped from the grimy outside and into opulence. The floors in the entryway were marble and a grand staircase curved up from either side to the second floor of the house. A table in front of them held a crystal sculpture of a gigantic butterfly that wasn't held up with any sort of mechanism that Alice could detect. It seemed to just float there. She longed to run her hands around it to see if there were tiny wires that she just couldn't see. Sadly, she was too small to do so without a lot of help and it seemed more inappropriate to ask Dum to do it for her.

"Wait here while I tell Absolem," said the thug. He'd holstered his gun, but in another entryway, his companion stood with his own trained on them.

The first thug walked out of the room to their right and into a massive living space covered with plush couches and chairs that sat on more marble floors. In front of them sat thick rugs with lots of fine details. The caterpillar was obviously doing well in his affairs and that was probably in part due to his requirement for payment. Alice wasn't very optimistic about her chances of getting help from him.

At the far end of the room, the thug stopped and spoke quietly to a figure that was hidden around a corner. At his feet could be seen just a small bit of blue that could have been a strangely colored ottoman if it didn't have several small feet under it. As Alice watched, it began to undulate and then disappeared around the corner for a moment to be replaced by the large bulk of Absolem's upper body. He didn't acknowledge them standing at his front door. He simply creeped up onto a long sofa that had to have been specially built for him and reclined there, picking up the tube to a hookah and settling it into his mouth.

The thug with the gun off to the left said, "Absolem will see you now," and waved them into the living room. The thug who had greeted them at the door had taken up a standing position behind the couch where Absolem sat.

Dee walked boldly forward on his stocking feet, and Dum followed, his head turning every direction. Alice followed his gaze and found many more of Absolem's men watching from the second story, guns pointed down at them. They seemed bored and ready to do some shooting.

Alice tried to ignore them so that she would be able to speak without a quaver in her voice. If she was going to enlist the caterpillar's help, she needed to sound confident, not like a little girl who was about to cry. Focusing on the rest of the living room helped. There were several more of the crystal sculptures positioned around the room, all seeming to float on air, each of them depicting a different nature scene. In one corner was a waterfall that was falling up into a pool on the ceiling. Once they were fully into the room the subtle sounds became noticeable, as well as the slight green tint to the light. It was as if they were walking into a forest clearing and there was wildlife and plants just out of sight, though none were really in evidence. With all the plants outside, it was clear that there could have been more inside. The choice had been made to exclude them to enhance the wonder of the special effects in the room.

Dee and Dum stepped up to face the caterpillar, neither of them seeming to take notice of the splendor around them. They eyed the sofa behind them, but remained standing. "I present young Alice," said Dum formally, gesturing to his shoulder.

"Ah yes, Alice, you've changed so much since last we met," said Absolem, puffing his hookah. "Is it possible that it's been just a day?"

"Yes, I seem to have shrunk," said Alice.

"Oh, have you?" asked the caterpillar, squinting at Alice though his haze of smoke. "I hadn't noticed. Your stature is of no consequence. Sometimes I am this size and other times, smaller than even you. The changes of which I spoke are nothing to do with your size."

"So you do know how to make me large again?" asked Alice hopefully.

"Again, size is of no consequence. I know how to make you great." He smiled at her serenely, his many hands, or feet—it was hard to know what to call them—flexing and closing. "Wouldn't you much rather be great than large?"

Alice suppressed the urge to argue. Argument never got you anywhere in Wonderland. "But if I could be, why shouldn't I want to be both great and large?"

"Ha! You truly have grown so much since we last spoke. It's a wonder that you're able to sit on your manservant's shoulder." Absolem leaned forward, his large, worm-like bulk lifting off the couch, improbably hanging in the air so that he could bring his face close to hers. "You have finally learned the art of Wonderland society. Why answer a question when you could instead pose your own question in return?"

Alice thought carefully for a moment before giving her response. It had to be carefully crafted. "It did take some getting used to, but how could I have failed when I had such a masterful teacher as yourself?"

"Splendid!" shouted the caterpillar, falling back onto his couch. His whole body shook with deep, rumbling laughter. His hands flailed about so much that he nearly yanked his hookah right off the table. A servant that couldn't have been there just a moment ago stepped up and righted it before it fell and just as promptly faded back into the background. His laughter carried on so long that soon everyone joined in, including his henchmen up on the second floor. His laughter died off slowly and he turned back to Alice with a wry smile. "Let's dispense with the niceties of society and get down to business, shall we?" Absolem snorted. "I swear, that last one was an accident. It's hard to turn off once you get going."

Alice watched the caterpillar warily. She didn't think him mad any more, he was merely strange. So at least he might be rational in some situations. "I'm sure you've already deduced my reason for coming to you," said Alice, waving a hand down at her body.

"Actually, I don't understand at all," said the caterpillar, puffing a fresh blast of smoke in her direction. "I already, by a strange coincidence indeed, gave you exactly what you need to solve your current minuscule predicament."

"So, the mushroom will make me large again?" asked Alice.

"It will," said Absolem. "But I must confess, I’m curious as to what made you small in the first place."

Alice opened her mouth and was about to tell Absolem that it was drinking Tea that made her small, but then she remembered something she'd read in one of her pirate books. Never give information away for free. Most times it's more valuable than gold. Instead she was silent for a moment and shared a private smile with Lyla, hoping to deepen the mystery. "Well, I could be persuaded to tell you if I could get another of those mushrooms you gave me."

Absolem narrowed his eyes at her and frowned. "It doesn't matter to me one way or the other. Just a bit of idle curiosity."

"Well, then, if it doesn't matter, I guess I'll keep my business to myself," said Alice, keeping her face as neutral as she could manage. She could tell he was interested. Powerful people like him weren't used to being told they couldn't have something they wanted.

"Oh, come now, no need to be unreasonable. If you have something of worth to offer me in addition to the information, I may be persuaded to part with a mushroom for you."

Alice sighed. It had been worth a try, but Absolem wasn't going to give her a mushroom just to satisfy his curiosity. "The only thing I have is worth much more than some stinky old mushroom," said Alice sulkily.

"You can't give it to him, Alice," whispered Lyla. "It's part of Seamus' vision. You're going to need it."

"Now you do truly have my attention," said Absolem, rubbing his many hands together greedily. "An item of great value that's associated with a prophecy from the mad hatter?"

Alice frowned at Lyla. Apparently whispering, even from a dormouse, didn't seem to get past the great blue caterpillar. "Dee, show him the sword."

Dee slowly reached up and pulled the sword from his waist. The sound of cocking guns could be heard from the second floor. Absolem held up one of his hands and waved them off.

"Bring it to me," called the caterpillar, gesturing Dee forward. "That does look like a rare specimen indeed." He leaned forward and then tilted his head back. "Glasses!" A short man in a servant's uniform trotted up and offered the caterpillar a pair of simple wire framed spectacles. Absolem settled them on his face, perching them on a pair of his hands which seemed to serve in place of a nose. The servant trotted away and the caterpillar leaned forward, hovering over the sword that Dee presented. "Those runes, I haven't seen the like in decades. What do they say?"