Words Can Change Your Brain (37 page)

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Authors: Andrew Newberg

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effective communication of, 139, 188, 196
guidance from, 186–87
positivity in, 190
values of, 183, 185–86
Leahy, Robert, 36
Levin, Roger P., 117–18
life-threatening events, 113
limbic brain, 10
listening
and ability to anticipate speakers, 82
bad listening, 144
in CC model, 123, 142–43
to children, 203–4
emphasis on, 9
and inner speech, 68
and interruptions, 142–43
to monologues, 142–43, 158–59
and neural resonance, 81, 82
scripted practice of, 157
Losada, Marcial, 130, 189, 190
love, 29, 34, 89
loved ones, 165–81
and criticism, 179–80
and the “empty-chair” exercise, 175–77
first dates, 166–69
imagining, 99–100
marital conflicts, 169–73, 173–74
seeking behavioral changes in, 177–78
trust between, 173
Lovelock, James, 80
Lyubomirsky, Sonja, 30–31

 

major league baseball, 186
Manning, Chris, 8, 187, 193
marriage
criticism in, 179–80
marital conflicts, 169–73, 173–74
word choices in, 178–79
See also
loved ones
Meaningful Differences in Everyday Experience of Young American Children
(Hart and Risely), 201
mediators, 174
medical profession, 186, 190–94
meditation, 33, 36
memory and memories
in CC model, 123, 134–35
of children, 202
chunking mechanism of, 59, 61
disturbing memories, 35
and facial expressions, 134
rescripting negative memories, 131
scripted practice of, 152
men, 181
mind, 15
mindfulness, 14–15, 37–38, 188–89
mirroring
anger, 97
facial expressions, 97
language styles, 82–83
and neural resonance, 80, 81
mirror neurons, 45
miscommunications, 29, 84
misunderstandings, 165–66
Mona Lisa
(Leonardo da Vinci), 98
money, 112–13
monologues, 142–43, 158–59
moral decision making, 15, 89–90
mothers and infants, 98–99, 100
motivational centers of the brain, 30
mouth, 94–95, 98–99

 

negative rumination
brain’s perception of, 57
and hostile language, 33
neurological effects of, 25
preventing, 36
and reflecting on values, 104
negativity, 17–18
and anxiety, 131
and children, 202
and consciousness, 57
and credibility, 31
damage caused by, 24
effect of, on relationships, 173
in everyday communication, 178–79
and fatigue, 18–19
and genes, 33
and handedness, 44
and inner speech, 66–68
interrupting negativity, 26–27, 85, 129
negative criticism, 180
and overused words, 31
positivity-to-negativity ratio, 18, 130–31, 189–90
recognizing, 37
rooting out, 131–32, 205
self-perpetuating quality of, 25
subliminal words, 33–34
vocalizing, 24
in the workplace, 189–90, 194–96
and writing exercises, 204–5
negotiations, 188, 192–93
neocortex, 42, 57
neural dissonance, 139, 173
neural resonance, 80–82, 95–96
neuroanatomy
amygdala, 24, 25–26, 27, 48
anterior cingulate, 19, 48–49, 68, 100
axons, 42
Broca’s area, 50–51
limbic brain, 10
mirror neurons, 45
neocortex, 42, 57
neurotransmitters, 35
thalamus, 35, 57
Wernicke’s area of the brain, 33
See also
frontal lobes
neurochemistry, 24–25, 33
neuroeconomics, 78
Nexi (social robot), 97
Nhât Hanh, Thích, 177–78
“no,” the power of, 24, 30, 31
nonverbal communication
in CC model, 123, 135–36
neurological basis of, 44–45
of a robot, 97
scripted practice of, 152–53
See also
facial expressions
notes, sending, 137

 

observation, 81, 89–90
observing self, 74–75, 145
oxytocin, 135, 174

 

parenting, 203–4
pausing in speech, 69–70
“peace,” 35
Penrose, Roger, 55
personalities and subpersonalities, 64
Phelan, Donna, 7
Piaget, Jean, 63
pictures, thinking in, 49
plants, 79–80
positivity
in business and the workplace, 186–87, 189–90
in CC model, 123, 129–32
and children, 202
effectiveness of, 35, 36, 173
in everyday communication, 178–79
and handedness, 44
and inner speech, 66–68
in leadership, 190
neurological effects of, 34–35
and overused words, 31
positivity bias, 19
positivity-to-negativity ratio, 18, 130–31, 189–90
power of, 27–28, 28–29, 30–31
scripted practice of, 151–52
and smiling, 98
subliminal words, 33–34
writing in positive terms, 205, 206
practicing Compassionate Communication, 147–62
entering a conversation, 153–54
with a partner, 154–59
preparing to practice, 148–49
script for, 149–53
prayer, 33
preparing for conversations, 129–30, 131, 192–93
present, staying, 123, 126–27, 150–51
primates, 43
procrastination, 65
progressive muscle relaxation, 33
punishment, 85

 

Radin, Dean, 55–56
rate of speech
in CC model, 123, 140
and competence, 140
and comprehension, 60, 140
emotional impact of, 70–74, 138
of physicians, 138
scripted practice of, 156–57
and stress levels, 60
rational decisions, 17
reality, transforming, 34–37
reciprocation, expectation of, 78
rehearsing, 46–47
rejection, fear of, 173
relaxation
in the “breakout principle,” 188–89
in CC model, 123, 124–25
effectiveness of, 27–28, 36
exercises for, 124
relaxation response, 32–33, 188
scripted practice of, 150
and staying present, 126
relevance, 62
repetitious patterns of thinking, 36–37
resistance of the brain, 10, 37
respect, 173
Risely, Todd, 201
robots, 97
Roulac, Stephen E., 194

 

Sachs, Joel, 79
sadness, 95–97, 127
Sartre, Jean-Paul, 89
schizophrenia, 52
The Secret
(Byrne), 112
secret desires, 112
self-doubt, 173
self-esteem, 173, 185
selfishness, 77–79
Seligman, Martin, 131
short-term memory, 15–16
silence, 69–70
in CC model, 123, 127–28
improving, 74
inner silence, 127–28
scripted practice of, 151
between words, 70–74
situational values, 113–14
slime mold, 55
slow speech.
See
rate of speech
smiles, 94–95
and eliciting pleasant memories, 134
and imagining a loved one, 99–100
Mona Lisa
smiles, 98, 99–100
neurological basis of, 98–99

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