Worth It (18 page)

He closes the few inches that separate us and kisses me softly. I close my eyes, and I feel his hand on my cheek. He kisses me reverently and sweetly, our tongues moving together in a slow waltz. His other hand moves to the back of my head and into my hair, and we deepen the kiss, so it becomes fuller, more passionate. My body is singing, and that throb is growing stronger. My nipples harden as I move my hands to his neck, and I pull him even closer to me.

I can’t believe I’m kissing this man again—this gorgeous, smart, funny, sweet, perfect man.

Our breaths become heavier, and the fire burning in my body is raging hotter. Before I know it, I’m straddling his lap, pushing my breasts into his chest, as our fingers are tangling in each other’s hair. All rational thought has left my mind, and the only thing that registers is relieving this urge, this ache. He moves one hand down my back, brushes my ass, travels down to my outer thigh, and then back up to rest on my waist.

I want him. I need him. I need him bad, like I need my next breath.

His hand moves to my ass, and he pulls me to him, so I can feel his need for me. I can’t help the slight moan that leaves me.

Only whores make noise,
streaks across my mind.
His
voice is invading this moment.

I roughly brush it aside. Jed breaks the kiss to move his lips to my neck, and he kisses and licks from my collarbone to just behind my ear.

“You are so fucking sexy. I’m losing my mind,” he whispers in my ear.

I grind down on him, trying to keep silent, and he lets out a moan that vibrates through my body and straight to my clit. Another moan escapes my lips.

Whore.

I shove
his
voice from my mind again.

“I want you,” Jed whispers. He crushes his mouth back onto mine.

Goddamn it.
I want him, too, but I don’t want him to think I’m a slut. I want more than just a random hookup—especially from Jed.

He breaks the kiss, moves back to my ear, and nibbles my earlobe. A lightning bolt goes straight to my core, right to my throbbing clit, and I let out a soft moan.

“I don’t want to push you into anything you don’t want to do, but
God
, I want you. Do you want me to stop?” he whispers in my ear as he thrusts up against me.

I let out another soft moan that doesn’t even prompt
his
voice. I want Jed so bad, so bad it hurts, and I’m nearly out of my mind with need, but I want to be more than this.

Who are you kidding? You think you’re more than this? How much proof do you need before you grasp that you are worthless? A fuck is all a man will ever want from you—ever.
He
was right. You’re just a dirty slut.

My resolve unravels as reality settles in. This
is
all I’m worth, so maybe I should enjoy this while I have it. Just let go and feel because that’s all I’ll ever get. It’s all I’m really worth. It’s not a pleasant reality check, but in a way, it makes me feel calmer.

“No, don’t stop. I want you, too,” I say softly. I kiss him passionately, trying to block out the guilt beginning to eat at me already.

“You sure?”

“Definitely,” I respond much more confidently than I feel.

He stands up, and I wrap my legs around him as he carries me into the bedroom, our mouths never parting.

I stride the short distance from the living room to my bedroom faster than a speeding bullet with her sexy-as-fuck legs wrapped around my waist. We’re still kissing, and I feel like I could devour her.

Fuck, she’s so damn hot, and she’s obviously so damn hot for me.

I lay her down on my bed, and when her legs fall open, I move between them. I kiss her harder, or maybe she does that to me. I can’t really tell at this point. I feel like I’m losing my grip on sanity because I want to literally tear off her clothes and shove my dick inside her like a man possessed. I don’t think she’d appreciate me ruining her clothes though, and I need to have her ready for me.

I grind myself against her pussy, and she grinds back. My hands move to the hem of her shirt, and I feel her soft skin along her hips and stomach. I didn’t think she could get more beautiful, but seeing the lust in her eyes proves me wrong.

“Oh God, Anna. You’re so fucking hot,” I whisper against her lips.

She lets out a small moan that has me fighting for control.

I whip off her shirt as fast as I can, but then I take a minute to look at her. She obviously works out some, but she’s still soft and round in all the right places. I trail my hand up her flat stomach to her bra-covered boobs. My dick jumps as I run my hand along her cleavage.
I knew these babies were big, but
damn,
they’re perfect.
I lean down and run my tongue along the same path as my hands—up her stomach, over her ribs, across her chest and cleavage. She tastes so fucking good, and I fucking love the goose bumps that cover her skin when I touch her. My cock throbs, straining to be released.
I can’t wait to be inside her.

I need to kiss her again, so I lift her up and crush my lips to hers. I groan into her mouth as I undo her bra.
Oh sweet Lord.

My mouth waters as I break the kiss to trail my lips along her jaw, her neck, her chest. Finally, I take her nipple into my mouth. As I flick it with my tongue, she lets out a loud moan and grasps my hair, thrusting her breast into me, spurring me on.

Fuck yes.
I can’t get enough of her as one hand runs along her side, and the other molds around the tit I’m not sucking on.

When I give it a little bite, she moans louder, and it’s so hot that I have to work to control myself. I move my mouth to her other nipple and suck it hard into my mouth. She’s panting while grinding down against my cock, and her eagerness has me losing my shit. I need to have her, to be inside her. She breaks our kiss, reaches down, and whips off my shirt. Then, she kisses me hard, pressing her naked chest against mine.

“Fuck, yes. You’re driving me insane, baby,” I murmur against her lips

Her hands roam along my chest, my back, my abs, and I’m nearly out of my mind. Laying her back down, I kiss her while my hand moves to her jeans. My lips part from hers, so I can unbutton her pants and slide them off. I stand up and take off my pants while I watch her lying on my bed. She’s looking at me with the hottest, hungriest look, and I decide
this
is the most gorgeous sight I’ve ever seen. I kiss the instep of her foot before I kiss, suck, and lick up her leg until I rub my nose on her sweet pussy.

My cock grows so hard that I think it might shatter. “Baby, you smell so good.”

I move her panties aside with my finger and touch her. She jumps, letting out a groan, and I fucking love it.

“You’re so wet for me,” I say and slide a finger inside her.

She moans again and starts to move her hips, grinding against me.

Oh God, that’s so hot.
I add another finger and use my thumb to rub her clit. Just when I think she can’t get any sexier, the sight of her writhing beneath me makes me crazy.

She sits up suddenly, takes my face in her hands, and kisses me with everything she has. “I want you so bad, Jed.”

She reaches into my boxers, and when she starts to stroke me, I barely stop myself from fucking her hand. Instead, I try to just enjoy her touch. With her warm hand wrapped around my cock and my fingers sliding in and out of her wet, hot pussy, I’m gone. I can’t take it anymore, and I need her right the fuck now. After dragging her panties down her legs, I stand up and take off my boxers in record time. Climbing back up her sexy body, I only stop to plant kisses in between licking along her thighs, her stomach, her chest, and her neck before returning to her mouth.

I reach into my bedside table to get a condom. She grabs it from my fingers and slowly tears open the foil with her teeth.

Goddamn, that’s hot.
I quickly snatch the condom from the package and roll it on before positioning myself above her. I take a deep breath and ask, “Are you sure?”

“Yes,” she breathes.

She barely gets the word out before I slowly slide my cock into her, savoring the feeling.

Fuck, she’s tight. And hot.

“God, baby, you feel so good. Your pussy feels so fucking good.”

I slide out and plunge hard into her, and we both let out cries of pleasure.

“Fuck, I’m in heaven,” I say.

“Oh God,” she says, panting.

I pull back and thrust into her again and again. Soon, I’m driving my cock in and out of her, hard and fast. The sound of her crying out my name has me slamming deeper into her. When she wraps her legs around my ass, the tilt of her hips makes my dick go deeper.

“Fuck,” I say with a grunt.

“Oh fuck. Oh yes. Oh God,” she pants. She throws her head back and closes her eyes as she rakes her nails down my back.

I can only focus on the amazing feeling of hammering into her and hearing how much she loves it. “You like my cock in you, baby? You like that? You like feeling me slide in and out of you, hard and fast like that?”

“Yes. Oh God, yes,” she breathes out.

I slam into her, and I can feel her start to tighten around me. It’s fucking heaven. I don’t want to come yet. I don’t want this to end, but she’s contracting around me like an iron fist, and I don’t think I can wait anymore. She feels so fucking perfect. Thrusting in deeper, I reach between us and circle her clit to make sure she’s right there with me. Her pussy squeezes my dick tighter than it’s ever been squeezed, and I know I’m gonna come fucking hard.

“Oh yes, oh yes.” As her body tenses, she throws her head back, and her mouth opens in an O-shape.

When she comes, she grips my cock even more, and I can’t stop myself.

“Oh fuck, Anna.” The tingle starts from the base of my spine and washes through me as I come so fucking hard that I think I might pass out.

I stay buried deep inside her, my face in her neck, as we catch our breath. I have no words, no thoughts. My mind is utterly blank as I recover from the best sex of my life.

“Wow,” she whispers.

I chuckle softly. “Yeah, I’ll say,” I whisper back and lift my head just enough to kiss her. I look at her and smile.
God, she’s so awesome
.

I look into her eyes, and she seems satisfied, happy, but my smile fades as I see
that
look in her eyes. She’s trying hard to hide it, but it’s definitely there. I think it’s…uncertainty? Insecurity?

“You okay?” I ask softly.

“Great. Perfect.” She smiles too widely. She wiggles a little underneath me. “You need to go clean up,” she whispers.

I narrow my eyes, but she’s right. Something is wrong with her, and if I’m going to figure it out, then I need to go and take care of the condom. Sighing, I get up, head to the bathroom, dump the condom in the trash, and walk back into the bedroom. I see her in the middle of the bed, hugging her knees to her chest. I tilt my head and watch her while her mind is elsewhere.

What the hell is her deal?
We just had the most mind-blowing sex, so why is she acting so weird?

She looks at me for a second before she shifts her eyes away. She gets up from the bed and walks around the room, trying to find her clothes.

I sit on the bed, determined to get to the bottom of this, and I say softly, “Hey, come over here.”

She glances at me, and her tight eyes are a punch to the gut.

What the fuck is going on?

She makes her way over and perches on the bed. I reach across the space, grab her around the waist, and pull her to me. Laying her down, I roll on top of her, careful not to crush her, as I position my hands on either side of her face.

“What’s going on in there?” I tap her head lightly with my finger.

“What do you mean?”

I roll my eyes. “You know what I mean.”

She sighs and closes her eyes. “Nothing.”

“Open your eyes, Anna,” I demand quietly.

She does.

“Can you do me a favor?”

“What?” she asks warily.

“Don’t lie to me.”

“What?”

“I said, don’t lie to me. I know something is wrong, and I honestly hate the nothing game. Just tell me what’s going on, and we’ll figure it out. Honesty is always the best policy.”

Her jaw grows tight as she absorbs what I said. She takes a deep breath and blows it out with puffed cheeks. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“So?”

“Honestly, it’s not a huge deal. I guess I’m just a little insecure at the moment.”

“What? Why?”

After what we just did, how much she just let go with me, I have no idea why she would be insecure. If anything, she should feel more secure. She tries to look away, but I’m holding her head, so she just moves her eyes.

“Anna, look at me. What the hell are you insecure about?”

When her eyes return to mine, she seems frustrated, but she also looks like she might cry.

“Anna, baby, don’t cry.”
Why the hell is she crying?
“Just please tell me what’s going on in that head of yours. On my end, I can’t understand what you have to be insecure about, and I definitely don’t understand what there is to cry about.”