Worth Keeping (24 page)

Nick’s hand fastened not very gently over his mouth. “Shut up, Owen,” he hissed. “God, that mouth of yours is better used for other things than babbling.” His tone was amused. “I don’t think it’s drugs. There are plenty of other places along this cove that would be better suited to that, and a lot more private. No, this is something else.”

Owen was still smarting over the babbling comment but he wisely remained quiet. They watched and listened as a series of huffing pants emanated from the path and two men appeared, carrying a large bundle. There was a muttered curse of “Fuck, this is heavy,” and then the pair made it to the car and the package was unceremoniously dumped at the rear of what Owen now recognised to be a Skoda Yeti. The memory hit him at the same time the two men opened the back door and started lugging their burden into the back.

“Nick. That’s bloody Barrett’s new car, the one we saw in town. Remember he’s just bought it?”

Nick nodded slowly. “I remember. If that’s true that means this must be Barrett and Sid. Though what the hell they’re doing here, I have no idea. Maybe we should ask them.”

Owen watched open mouthed as Nick stood up, calling out to the pair. “Barrett? Sid? What the hell are you two idiots doing lurking around on my island?”

Both of the other men jumped in fright at the sound of Nick’s voice echoing out against the quiet of the night. The two men whirled. Owen groaned as he stood up to lend his support to Nick. He knew the man had a secret death wish but to simply stand up and confront the two men was crazy.

Nick moved forward, switching on the torch and at the same time, one of them moved toward him, his leg dragging slightly. Owen would know that limp anywhere and he felt a sensation of relief that the man was at least someone familiar. He followed close on Nick’s heels, his screwdriver clutched in a cold and clammy hand.

“Mathers? Is that you?” The hoarse tones of Barrett Monk were wheezy. He stood framed in the light, eyes squinting against the glare.

“Who else would it be? What the hell are you two doing here?” Nick’s irritated voice carried across the night air. “I assume you two jokers are doing something you shouldn’t be based on what time it is.” He shone his torch at the pair standing by the vehicle. “Care to share before I call the police and let them know?” He waved his mobile at them and Owen cringed.

Way to go, Nick. Tell the weirdos we’re going to get them arrested. Not a wise move, buddy.

Sid Fleming moved forward into the light. Unlike Barrett, who was short and fairly small in stature, Sid Fleming looked as if he was a bear walking on its hind legs. The man was about six foot four and just as wide, and he was the hairiest bugger Owen had ever seen.

He remembered seeing him in town once at the local newsagent’s and he’d had to suppress a laugh when he’d heard a little girl ask her mother if the man was from the movies. Her exact words had been, “Mummy, is that man Chewbacca from that film we saw with all the spaceships?” But now, in the dim light in the dead of the morning, with only a screwdriver and a flashlight to protect them, the man seemed less like the friendly Wookiee and more like a menacing presence.

When he spoke, his voice was mild but even. “Nick, we were just doing some business out here. So no need to tell anyone about it, we’re just trying to make a living.”

All four men now stood at the tail end of the car, in what Owen thought might be a strange version of a Mexican standoff.

“What kind of business?” he enquired. “And why does it need to be done now, here? That reeks of funny stuff to me.” He peered curiously through the window. Barrett moved in front, blocking his view. Owen raised his eyebrows and went back to stand at Nick’s side.

Nick waved his torch around the area. “You guys keep funny office hours for a couple of importers and exporters.” His tone was vaguely threatening. “You’d better not be moving drugs or anything or I swear the cops will be involved.”

Barrett gave an explosive laugh. “Drugs? Christ, Nick, this isn’t the bloody movies. You should know we’d never touch that kind of thing.” He glanced at Sid who stood like an immovable object, arms folded across his massive chest, watching the proceedings with still eyes. “We were just taking a delivery, like, from someone we know and then we take it back to the warehouse in town.”

Nick and Owen moved forward together, closer to the other two men. “A delivery? Of what?”

Barrett cast a quick look at Sid. “Just some stuff.”

Nick shook his head and handed the torch to Owen. “Hold onto this for me while I make a call. Perhaps the local police can get to the bottom of this better than we can.” He began to dial a number. For a big man, Sid Fleming moved very fast. Lazily, he stepped forward, plucked the phone out of Nick’s hand and hurled it into the frothing sea beneath them.

Owen winced. That hadn’t gone well. Nick would go apeshit about his missing phone right about now.

Nick snarled, moving forward in a motion that clearly indicated to Owen he was going to hit something. He pulled Nick back, gripping his arm tightly as Nick whirled to look at him with a look that might have cowed a lesser man.

“Owen, fuck you. Let me go. That arsehole just threw my damn phone into the sea.”

Owen nodded in understanding as Barrett stood open-mouthed and Sid simply smiled. He definitely had the advantage being about sixty pounds heavier than Nick.

“Yep, I’m aware of that. I was here too. But smacking this big buffoon around is not going to help this situation, Nick. Let’s just calm down. And you, you great excuse for a motherfucking retard, stay where you are. I have a screwdriver and I’m not afraid to use it to dent that thick hide of yours.” These last words were addressed to Sid who scowled and looked as if he might start on Owen, who held his ground.

Barrett moved in between them. “Easy, gents. We don’t need the trouble. Sid, we need to tell them. Maybe we can convince them we haven’t really done anything wrong.” His voice was unsure but he put out a hand, resting it on Sid’s huge chest. “We’re all friends here so let’s keep cool, yeah?”

The testosterone level seemed to drop as all the men relaxed and regarded each other with wary glances. Barrett sighed. “You know that stuff we wanted you guys to distribute for us? The sex stuff?”

“The stuff that apparently only gay men use and you wanted us to be the poster boys for the cause?” Nick’s voice was a growl. “Yes, Owen told me about it.”

Barrett nodded. “Well, it’s difficult to source at the right price on the internet. We want to bring it as cheap as we can so we make more money, right? That’s what business is all about. And there’s a demand for this stuff; we’ve done the research with a mate of ours in London.”

Owen shifted on his feet. “That’s what you guys are bringing in? Dildos and shit like that? That stuff is hardly that expensive to buy on the internet, why go to this much trouble?”

Sid waved a hand. “There are import duties, taxes, shipping costs, collection costs because we’d have to go to Norwich to pick it up in the quantities we want. That’s all money taking the food out of our mouths and giving it to the bloody government.” He gave a shark grin. “And you all know I don’t like the bloody government.”

Owen and Nick looked at each other. They did indeed know Sid’s rabid view on sticking it to the man, and it was certainly no secret in town that he was a rampant activist. He was proud of the fact that he’d been arrested at a couple of rallies for various causes. He probably didn’t even believe in most of them, but if it went against “the institution,” he was all for them. “So Barrett and I found someone who could bring the goods directly out to us via boat. It’s much cheaper. He brings it on his vessel, we sail out to the middle of the bloody sea and load it onto ours, and then we come here and offload it into the van.” He shrugged. “This is the first time we’ve done this. So it’s new for us too.” He scowled. “Trust you two lovebirds to cock it up. We thought you’d be too busy fucking each other to hear us. We know gay guys like to go at it like rabbits all the time.”

Owen suppressed the snort of laughter that rose unbidden to his lips. Nick’s lips twitched at the comment, though whether it was from amusement or ire Owen couldn’t quite tell.

“I see. You guys know this first hand then—that gay men love sex all the time? Are you fans then?” Nick’s sly rejoinder made the other two men gape at him in incredulity.

Ah. It had been amusement then.

“No, you bloody wanker! Barrett and I aren’t poofters like you two. Christ, the thought.” Sid looked at Barrett and Barrett at Sid and the two men shivered visibly.

I’d also bloody shiver in disgust if I think of you two going at it like rabbits
, thought Owen, trying to keep his amusement down. From the slight shudder running through Nick’s broad frame, he thought Nick was having trouble not laughing either.

“Can we see what’s in the boxes then? Just make sure there are no drugs or other bad shit in them?” Nick gestured toward the box in the boot of the vehicle.

Barrett nodded his head excitedly. “Sure, I mean, that’s all it is right? Nothing bad, just really good stuff so guys like you can get their rocks off.” He smiled. “We’ll even let you sample some of it if you don’t tell the coppers about this whole thing.”

Owen couldn’t help it. He let out an explosive laugh that bounced off the cliff face and echoed. He doubled up, his body wracked with mirth. “Oh my fucking God, how much more surreal can this get? You two are just too bloody funny.” He howled, tears streaming down as his face as Nick chuckled and moved to the back of the Yeti. Sid yanked a thumb in Owen’s direction as he looked at Nick.

“Here, this guy’s a little off his rocker, isn’t he? Is he always like this?”

“You have no idea, Sid. The man’s barking.” Nick gestured at the vehicle. “Go, on open up. Let me see what you’ve got that’s going to rock my world.”

At Nick’s dry words, Owen giggled even more. His stomach hurt from laughing. Shaking his head, Sid opened the back and Nick stepped forward. There were three large boxes in the boot.

“We have two more down in the boat then we’re done until the next shipment in a few days’ time,” Barrett said self-importantly. “We have to schedule the deliveries as we can only fit five boxes in the vehicle at a time. If I’d know this was going to happen, I’d have bought a minivan or something so we can get it all at once.” He shrugged and pulled back the cardboard tab on one of the boxes. “Knock yourself out. Take a look.”

Nick reached in and browsed the boxes. Owen had recovered sufficiently by now to stand with him. He reached into the box, withdrawing a large package. He wanted to cackle hysterically at what he found but he valiantly fought off the impulse. He held the item up. It was a large packaged dildo.

“The Daddy Do-Gooder,” he proclaimed even as hysteria threatened. “Eight inches of pure fun, wrapped in a silicone outer, with ridges designed for a great tactile sensation. This will make all other dildos obsolete because after all”—Owen spluttered as he read the words and Nick started to chuckle too—“this is the grand daddy of dildos.” His voice broke and Owen collapsed against the side of the car, his sides shaking, his chest heaving. He had never laughed so much in his life. Nick chortled too, his eyes crinkling shut as Barrett and Sid regarded them in disbelief.

“Here, you two, stop dissing our merchandise,” Barrett said in an injured tone. “This stuff is quality; the guy that sold it to us is a professional.”

“I’m sure he is,” Owen said between gulps of air, as he struggled to control himself. “No disrespect intended, guys. It’s just a really funny situation.” He stopped heaving and calmed down enough to look at what Nick had pulled out the box.

Nick read it out, barely suppressing his own chuckles. “Snake Oil. Guaranteed to get your snake unwound and in a position to strike. Massage freely into sleeping snake.”

Owen pulled out another item. “Butt Beads. Feel these little beauties as they sneak up on you, giving pleasure bead by bead. The pleasure’s in the pulling.”

Nick and Owen continued their bout of merriment as Barrett and Sid stood by with frowns and an expression that said they had no idea what was going on. Finally the amused men managed to compose themselves enough to look at the two smugglers. Nick wiped his eyes. Owen’s were streaming and his sweatshirt was soaked.

Nick waved a hand towards the cargo. “Well, gents, I think we’ve ascertained that there are no drugs in this lot or any other more nefarious objects. Although I think some of these may be classed as weapons of mass destruction.” He sniggered. “Can I just ask though why you chose here as your loading zone? I’m sure there are other places you chaps can do this without involving the island or the lighthouse. That’s my preference. I don’t mind letting you do whatever it is you do but it won’t be here.”

Barrett looked uncomfortable. “This is easy access for us from my boathouse as it’s just around the bay. We use less fuel coming here than we would going up the coastline to another location which is just as private. It’s all about saving money, innit? So I suppose we can move; it’ll just eat into our profits.”

Nick nodded. “I’m sure you guys can foot the bill. We have an agreement. You stay away from here with your entrepreneurial activities and we’ll forget we ever saw you. It’s none of our business what you guys get up to and I’m not about to turn you in.”

Barrett nodded as he shut the boot. “Very kind of you, Nick. We can’t get fairer than that, can we, Sid?”

Sid looked unconvinced but he nodded. “Yeah, I guess that’s fair game.” His large bulk moved towards the stone steps. “We have a couple more boxes to bring up. Is that okay with you?” His sarcastic words made Nick grin as he shared a glance with Owen.

“Go ahead. Far be it from me to deprive gay guys everywhere from the delights these boxes hold. You do know it’s not just gay men that use this stuff, right? Hetero couples use it all the time too. Maybe you should ask your wives whether they’d like to participate in a little snake oiling or butt beading.” He ducked nimbly as something flew past his head that looked suspiciously like the Daddy Do-Gooder.