Worth the Weight (16 page)

“No.”

“Why? It wouldn’t be enough, but it could help.”

“No, Liz.” His voice was unyielding.

“
Finn
,” she started to say in a bargaining voice.

“Liz, no. I can’t just take charity. It would take me forever to pay you back.”

“That’s okay.”

“No, it’s not okay. It’s not okay with me. Not from you, Liz. Christ, you’re the last person I want to take charity from.”
Damn, h
is voice was hoarse, full of emotion.

He watc
hed
her swallow, purse her lips,
then seemed to accept his decision. She nodded. “Okay. But it’s available if it becomes the deal breaker between getting the operation and not.”

He knew he would do anything to get Annie her operation. Liz had given him a graceful out in case he needed her money later. “That’s what’s so different about you and Dana, Liz,” he said.

“There’s only one thing?” she teased, “after all you’ve told me, I’d hoped I’d be her complete opposite.”

“Oh you are, you are. You’re so honest and giving. Not like her at all. No hidden agendas, no behind the back plans.”

She ducked her head, not looking at him. She never could take a compliment.

After a moment she asked, “So, what are you going to do? About the money?”

“When we’re in Ann Arbor, I get to sit down with the bean counters and propose a way to pay for this thing for the next eighty years of my life. It’s not looking good right now.”

“They honestly wouldn’t do the operation if you couldn’t find a way to pay for it?”

“That’s right. They run a business, Liz, they can’t just be giving it away.”

“That’s what you get for going to the University of Michigan Hospital.”

“I know the Spartan in you can’t stand it, but you have to admit U of M has one of the best hospitals around.”

“Okay, I admit it, grudgingly, but only because State doesn’t have a hospital of their own. If they did, I’m sure it’d be better.”

He laughed.

They sat for a minute. “
You
sound so matter of fact about all this, aren’t you furious?”

“Not anymore, but I can show you the holes in the barn walls to prove I was. Fury takes up too much of my time. Time Annie needs me to spend on her. She has always clung to me, no surprise, really, with no mother, and having been in a wheelchair as long as she can remember. But now, as the idea of this operation gets closer, she panics if I’m out of her sight for very long. Gets real pouty when I have to go to the theater to work.

“There’s this camp for kids like Annie near Munising. Gran wanted her to spend part of the summer there, getting used to being around other kids like her. She also thinks it might be good for Stevie. He really gets the short end of the stick because of the attention Annie needs. But...I just couldn’t be away from her for that long. They went down there yesterday to spend the weekend, but...as you know...there was a change in plans and they’re back.”

He waited for Liz to digest all the stuff he was throwing at her. “She’s never seen me with a woman before. None’s ever come to the house. That’s why the reaction tonight.”

“You haven’t been with a woman since Dana left?”

“I didn’t say that.”

He could see her mentally replaying his words. “Oh. Right. Just that you hadn’t brought one around Annie.”

“Right.” He had to be straight with her. “But Liz, it’s more because there wasn’t one I wanted around my daughter. I’d…I’d like for you to meet Annie. Really meet her, get to know her, and Stevie of course, if you’d like that?” He waited for her answer, his breathing halted.

What the hell was he thinking? Annie was going to blow a nut. And Liz was only in town for a short time. Why was this so important to him, for her to get to know his kids? Damned if he knew, but he did know he wanted Liz to say yes more than he’d wanted anything in a long, long time.

“I’d like to get to know your family.”

He exhaled a sigh of relief. “Good. Good. That’s great.”

They sat in silence for a few more minutes
then,
without saying a word, they both got up and made their way to their cars.

He
didn’t try to kiss her good night. That moment had passed and even he wasn’t horny enough to force it.

He told
her
he’d call her the next day
then followed her truck through Hancock
until
she turned up the hill at Bob’s Mobil.

He noticed the verse on Bob’s sign,
“The Lord God said, it is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him”
.

At the beach, he’d been stoked that Liz said she wanted to get to know his kids, but suddenly, he wasn’t so sure that he hadn’t just made a horrible mistake.

Chapter Ten

√ Google spinal fusion operations

√ Pick up burgers and buns

√ Have Sybil
email
past fundraiser information

“Are you sure it’s not the grandmother? I mean, isn’t that the old cliché, ‘my grandmother needs an operation’ ?” Alison joked.

“Stop it, Alison, God, how can you be so heartless?” Katie chided.

“Years of practice?”

Her cynical friend made Lizzie laugh and laughter was what she desperately needed right now.
Finn
and his children were due to arrive at Alison’s place for swimming, saunaing and burgers. Lizzie was eying the bowl of potato chips on the picnic table in front of her like they’d be the answer to her nervousness. Knowing better, but fearing she’d be unable to win a staring match with the salty temptation, she turned aroun
d on the bench and looked out at
the water.

She watched the two men standing on the dock. Katie’s husband, Ron, and Alison’s date, a man Lizzie had never met named Brandt.

“Brandt seems nice, Al. Third date, eh? Just in time to bring him around to meet Katie and me.”

“Yeah, well, don’t be picking out your bridesmaid dress just yet.”

“Too bad, I’m thinking taffeta and opera gloves,” Lizzie joked then looked at the men again.

Brandt was shorter than Ron and much thinner. His legs had obviously not been informed that it was nearing the end of June, they shone death-white from under his shorts. He seemed okay to Lizzie. Kind of boring, but okay. Probably able to keep up with Alison intellectually, which was a must. But, Lizzie had the feeling he wouldn’t be strong enough for her friend. And that’s what Alison really needed, someone who could see through to the real Al, not let her sarcasm and cynicism push them away.

It was obvious to Lizzie that it was just a defense mechanism, but one that had been in place so long, it was as comfortable to Alison as second skin. Lizzie should know about second skins, the one she’d developed was just that, layers of skin. And fat.

Brandt was the Civil Engineering prof from Tech that Alison had mentioned when they were in Lizzie’s room picking out an outfit. That day seemed like a lifetime ago, but had only been a little over two weeks. It was amazing what could change in so short of time.

Now there was Annie.

The one time she’d been to the farm since the night Lizzie had first met Annie had been a disaster.

Clea had made a lovely dinner of roast and mashed potatoes, that normally would have had Lizzie jumping for joy, but she couldn’t even eat much under the intense interrogation of the ten-year-old. She half expected Annie to pull out a rubber hose and shine a spotlight in her face. “How long are you staying here? You
are
going back to Detroit, right? You knew my dad a long time ago? Did you know my mom? Why aren’t you married? Why don’t you have any kids?”

She tried to allay the little girl’s fears of Lizzie encroaching on the
her
turf. But Lizzie found no articulate way of saying, “Hey kid, ease up, I’m only here to sleep with your father a few times - which, by the way, your mere presence has put
seriously behind schedule -
then I’m
on my way.”

The entire night was uncomfortable and forced, two things Lizzie had never felt around
Finn
. And she went home unsatisfied, again. Something she was very used to feeling around
Finn
.

She’d
invited them here to Alison’s thinking that she would at least have a home court advantage when tangling with Annie again.

Ron and Brandt looked beyond Lizzie to the driveway.
She
followed their gaze and saw  the Robbins family arriving.
Finn
was already out of the minivan that Clea normally drove and taking the collapsible wheelchair out of the back. Stevie had slid out the other side and went around to Annie’s side to wait for
Finn
to bring the chair around.
Finn
unfolded the chair and in one fluid movement, undid Annie’s seatbelt, swept her in his arms and placed her in her wheelchair. It was a flawless routine, practiced to perfection over years.

Stevie waited until t
hey had cleared the minivan,
then reached inside and grabbed a large duffel bag, and a plate covered with tinfoil.

“Hey guys,” Lizzie got up to greet the last arrivals.

“Hey there,”
Finn
greeted her. He zoomed in for a kiss, seemed to feel Annie staring down the back of his head and detoured to Lizzie’s cheek at the last second. He gave a tiny shrug of apology to
her
.

Surely this man has had sex in the last seven years
since Dana left
? He must have some way of getting free. She just needed to be patient and let
Finn
figure it out. But when he raked his eyes over her like that, gazing in obvious appreciation of
her
tankini top and gym shorts that covered the bottom of her swimsuit,
she
hoped he’d figure out a way for them to be alone together. Soon.

After introductions were made, beer for the adults and pop for the kids distributed, Katie led
Finn
and Annie to the dock where, with Ron and Brandt’s help, all four were able to get the wheelchair to the dock’s end. Alison was inside doing something in the kitchen. Lizzie and Stevie settled themselves at the picnic table, watching Annie and
Finn
.

Well, at least Lizzie was watching Annie and
Finn
. Stevie’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head as he watched the bikini-clad Katie on the dock. Lizzie, remembering the torture of fourteen-year old boys subjected to the sight of Katie in high school, felt sorry for the kid.

“She’s spectacular, eh?” Lizzie asked
him.

Stevie didn’t even pretend not to know what she was talking about. “God, yeah. She’s your age?”

“Ouch.” It would never really go away,
she
thought, the pang she’d feel when men would ogle her best friend. Even a teen coveting Katie made Lizzie think about her inadequacies.

Sensing his error, Stevie started to backpedal. “I didn’t mean it like that. You’re pretty…but in a mom way, you know?”

Lizzie, knowing that Katie would kill to be looked at as a mother - to actually be a mother - thought there were injustices to everyone in the world, even the beautiful ones.

“Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.” She needed to change the subject before she dove head first into the ever-taunting bowl of potato chips that she knew were lurking behind her. “So, did your dad drag you here today? Were you supposed to do something with your friends?”

He shrugged. “It’s okay. Annie never gets to go to the water. She won’t go to the beach ‘cause she thinks everyone will stare at her, so this is good.”

It dawned on
her
how
much this boy had given up, would
continue to give up, because of
his sister. Out of the blue,
she
felt the need to touch Stevie. She scooted closer to him and meant to tousle his hair, but instead her hand stayed on his head. “You don’t fool me, Stevie. You’re a good kid.”

She felt his
head tense under her touch,
then as she spoke
it seemed to lighten, as if a huge weight had been lifted from it and the only thing keeping it attached to his body was Lizzie’s strong hold.

He leaned in to
her
, almost a half hug,
then, seeing his father’s eyes on him from the dock, became embarrassed. He left the table mumbling something about changing into his swimsuit.

Finn
’s eyes followed his son allowing
her
to watch him unnoticed. He was a contrast in skin tones, his torso darkly tan from working in the fields without a shirt. His back and forearms were strong and his muscles rippled as he adjusted the brakes on Annie’s wheelchair. His legs peeking out of shorts were as white as Brandt’s. Apparently, he always wore jeans while working outside.
Her
eyes returned to his chest, so lean and dusted with brownish hair that was turning lighter as the days, and the sunshine, increased. It was all she could do not to lick her lips with the fission of desire that shot through her.