Wounded Love (G Street Chronicles Presents From Love to Loathe Series) (16 page)

“Harder!”

“Cricket, what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Don’t stop. Can’t you fuck me any harder? I mean how long has it been? Have you really turned that soft on me?” I yelled back at him.

That was it, I knew I had finally pissed him the fuck off. Jyme gripped my hair, balled it up into a fist, and yanked hard. I cried out for the first time, and then we heard the baby crying. Jyme froze, and I yelled at him again. I couldn’t risk losing this moment with him. I didn’t want to leave Babe in there crying. She was scared, but we needed this. I was doing this for her, him, and me; our dysfunctional family. I knew one of the girls would come and get her. I didn’t want them hearing this, but it had to be done. We had to work this out, or we weren’t going to make it.

“Stop acting like a bitch and fuck me!” I screamed.

He stopped and yanked my head back so his lips were touching my ear.

“Shut the fuck up,” he told me in the coldest and deadliest voice I had ever heard from him. Jyme shook so hard with anger, and I knew he was about at his limit with me. I had truly done a number on him this time. He was broken, and it was all my fault. I should have been honest with him from the jump. I led him on, and I lied to him because I never told him the whole story. I only told him bits and pieces about me. If I had told him the truth, we wouldn’t be in this situation. He could have forgiven Elle and they could have had a normal life together. But I was selfish, and I ruined all of that for him; and now he was suffering and I had to pay.

“Jyme, we’ve got to get through this. We have a baby now; we have to work this out. I love you so much, and I need you back.”

“Cricket I…” was all I would let come out of his mouth.

“I love you, too, baby. Do it. Do it now, and do it hard. Help me wash it all away. You’ll be the very last person to ever enter in me, I promise. I can handle this; I can do this for us.”

Jyme gripped my waist tight, and I started gasping for air. I knew this was going to be painful. I also knew the qualm Jyme had with me had to be resolved this way. I just wanted the old us back, and I would damn near do anything to get us back like we were.

“You were supposed to be mine,” he growled.

“I am. I’m only yours.” I started calming down a little then. Maybe this didn’t have to be as painful as I thought. “I love you,” I told him with everything I felt inside of me.

Jyme could wash it all away. All of the men before him, he could brand me this way. This would work; he could and would be the last man for me. I would marry him, and we would fill those rooms up in the safe house. We would be a real family and learn how to be the best parents together. I would love him for the rest of my life, and I would be so happy.

“Are you my whore?” he asked in that weird voice again. And every piece of hope in me died. He wasn’t my Jyme anymore; he had turned into something else. This had to fix us; we needed to do this one act to clear the thick air between us. I would let him treat me and fuck me like a whore, and then he would realize how much he really loves me. I would do this for us, and I could do this for Babe. We could still be a family, and if I had to sacrifice a few hours of excruciating pain, so be it. I knew deep down Jyme still loved me; he just couldn’t see it right now.

“Yeah, you’re a dirty whore.”

I dropped my head then. Jyme had never called me that before, and when I used that term for myself, he told me to stop it.

“Jyme, I’ll be anything you want me to be.”

“Shut the fuck up, whore! I know that shit, and you are
my
fuckin’ whore!” Jyme slid in me slowly. I reached for his hands, and he intertwined his fingers with mine.

“Cricket?”

“Just do it, Jyme. Just do it.”

I screamed. “OH GOD, JYME!”

“Do you want me to stop?”

“No!”

“Cricket?”

“No, don’t you dare fuckin’ stop. I’m your whore.”

“Yes, the fuck you are.”

I heard the baby crying in the bedroom. I wasn’t trying to scare her, but we needed this badly. Jyme’s too-big Anaconda pounded in my ass so hard, and I couldn’t bare it. The baby cried and cried, and I wanted to go to her, but I couldn’t move. Jyme slid in and out of me, and then he quickened his pace. When I looked back at him, he wore a face I didn’t recognize. It was like he was in a trance of some sort. He was grinning from ear to ear as he watched himself go in and out of me. I felt like he was slipping away from me even further now.

“Jyme,” I called out to him, but he didn’t answer me.

“Are you still with me?” I cried out through the pain.

Still, he said nothing. I squeezed his finger tight, and he released my hands. His fingers were back at my waist, and he dug his fingers into me. The tears started then. I held onto the wall for support. Jyme pulled at my hair so hard that I knew my extensions wouldn’t hold up much longer.

“Do you want me to stop? Just tell me to stop, Cricket.”

“No, don’t. Jyme, please…I love you.”

“Yeah, that’s what the fuck I thought. You don’t want me to stop.”

And then he slammed into me.

“Jyme!”

“Do you want me to stop?”

“Stop asking me that!” I yelled back at him. “No, I don’t want you to fuckin’ stop. I can take it. I need you.”

He stopped, and the pain worsened. I cried and cried. He yanked my hair even harder and started right back up. Babe was really wailing now, and I could hear someone running down the stairs. I heard the bedroom door swing open and hit the wall. Someone ran over to Babe and tried to soothe her. I could hear Babe even clearer now, but she was okay. Jyme slowed and stopped. I looked back at him, and he was looking toward the shower curtain. He looked as though he was about to bolt.

“No, don’t stop,” I whispered. He turned back around, and I slammed back down on him. I heard Michael’s little feet running then.

“Cricket?” Chyna called out to me in a worried tone. “Cricket, what the fuck!” Cinnamon yelled from the bedroom.

“I’m okay,” I shouted. “Get the baby.”

The baby was screaming at the top of her little lungs, and I was crying hysterically now.

“Cricket, this won’t help!” Chyna yelled back at me.

“Yes, it will!” I screamed through a long stroke, and then Jyme pounded inside of me.

“We’re going outside. You guys need to work this shit out,” Cinnamon yelled over the shower and slammed the bedroom door.

“Jyme, please!”

“Please what, Cricket?” he asked, pounding into me harder than ever.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything. Jyme, I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

“Everything!”

“Are you sorry for being a lying whore?” he slammed into me even harder. I felt and heard something rip. My legs started going numb, and I felt like I was about to pass out.

“Jyme,”

“What?”

“Forgive me, and love me again.”

He didn’t respond; he just kept pounding inside me. This wasn’t working, and I was so sure it would. He wasn’t even listening to me; he didn’t even care. I loved this man to the core, and he didn’t give a fuck.

“Tell me we can work this out?” I whined.

I looked down, and the water at the bottom of the tub was pink. I was feeling light-headed. I’d stopped screaming now. There wasn’t any use anymore. I just cried and gasped for air.

“Tell me you can love me again; tell me we can be a family.”

“You’re fuckin’ crazy.”

“What?”

“Cricket, I could never love you again.”

“Jyme.”

“You’re a whore, always have been and always will be.”

He slid out of me then yanked the condom off. I felt his hot semen hit my back and trail down my leg. I dropped to my knees and rolled to my side.

“Every time I look at you, all I see is you sucking Troy’s dick, and you swallowing his fuckin’ load. Troy, out of all the fuckin’ people in the world. You let him fuckin’ cum in your mouth. I’ll never kiss that fuckin’ mouth again.”

“Jyme, he made me do it.”

“I saw you. You liked it. You love sucking dick, no matter who’s it is.”

“No, that’s not true. I only want to suck yours; only you, Baby!”

“Look at you…how could you ever be someone’s mother?”

“You hate me?” I whispered.

‘Don’t ask me that shit. You won’t like the answer,” he snapped.

I looked up at him, and he looked down at me in disgust. I was in so much pain I knew I couldn’t move just yet. He yanked the shower curtain open and stepped out.

I lay there for a few minutes, and then I heard the front door slam.

“Cricket,” Cinnamon yelled.

I couldn’t speak yet. I just cried and cried.

“Cricket, you’re bleeding really bad; honey.”

I couldn’t speak yet so I just sobbed.

“Why did you…?”

I cut her off.

“I wanted him to, I thought…I thought he would…”

Cinnamons eyes filled with tears then.
“I know what you thought, honey; but this isn’t the way.”

“This is the only way I know. I don’t know any other way.”

I slowly stood and screamed from the pain. I stood under the water for a few more minutes, trying to get all the blood off of me. Cinnamon got two wash clothes and wrapped them up with gauze. We stuffed as much as I could stand between my butt cheeks to stop the bleeding. I put on a t-shirt with baggy sweats. It took me forever to get up the stairs to Cinnamon’s room, but I had to.

I stayed in bed for two whole days straight. I didn’t eat or drink anything because I knew I wouldn’t be able to use the bathroom afterwards. I hadn’t seen the baby in two whole days, and I was missing her so much. I tried my best to stay as drugged up as possible. A few times when I would wake from a drug-induced nap, Michael would be in the bed with me, holding my hand. No one stayed down stairs with Jyme for any length of time. Poor little Michael was terrified of him; Chyna kept telling him that Jyme didn’t hurt little kids, but he didn’t believe her. I told him repeatedly that Jyme didn’t hurt me. I told him I was just sick, but he didn’t believe me either.

Jyme and the baby went for a walk at lunchtime that third day after the shower scene. I had Cinnamon pack us an emergency escape bag; I just had a weird feeling about Jyme now. He wasn’t himself at all, and I knew I did this to him. I had done the things I had to do for him, but he couldn’t see that now. I had to work for Troy, and this was the job he made me do. Jyme didn’t realize that if it wasn’t for him wanting that stupid casino, we wouldn’t even be in this shit.

I was trying to sit up. I was going to try to go and pee, but I knew I would need someone’s help. I heard little Michael screaming, “NO,” and then his little feet were running up the stairs. He bolted into the room and ran to the bed standing in front of me. Jyme walked in the room, and then Michael took a step toward him. “Don’t hurt my Aunt Cricket anymore,” he yelled. Chyna was standing behind Jyme peeking into the room.

Jyme looked at Michael and then at me.

“Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Sure,” I told him hoarsely.

I still hadn’t gotten my full voice back yet, but I was almost there. I pulled Michael to me and told him if he went back downstairs with Chyna that I would let him pick anything he wanted at the store. He pondered on that for a while and then whispered, “ok.” He gave Jyme a dirty look and went back downstairs with Chyna.

“I’m going back to the reservation. I can protect myself better around family, and it’s safer there. I’ve already rented a car, and it will be delivered tomorrow morning. I will leave right after that.”

I knew exactly what he was going to say next; I sat there and waited for it. I had to make sure my face was set right because this was about to be Oscar worthy.

“I’m taking the baby with me.”

I didn’t react at all, and he looked a bit shocked himself.

“Cricket, did you hear me?”

“Yes, I heard you, and I can’t argue with you on that.”

“Cricket, you can come see her anytime you want. I promise I’ll keep her safe.”

“I know you will.”

I looked out the window; the day was almost gone now.

“Cricket, about the other day,” he paused.

I held my hand up to him. “I wanted you to. I realize now that our time has passed, and I know you’ve moved on. I understand that.”

He looked at me as if I was crazy. He was about to say something, but he stopped himself.

“Could you send Cinnamon up please?” I asked him.

He stood up. I was still looking out the window. He stared at me for a minute or two and then went back downstairs. I heard little feet running up before Jyme got all the way down. Michael burst in and looked me over twice, and then he ran back downstairs.

“He didn’t hurt her this time.”

Cinnamon came right upstairs, and she gave me a once over too.

“We have to leave as soon as he gets in the shower. I need help getting downstairs.”