Wounded Love (G Street Chronicles Presents From Love to Loathe Series) (21 page)

The kids and I pulled up to D’Artagnan’s hotel, and I called his cell to let him know we were downstairs. He came down wearing a plain white tee with a pair of dark denim jeans and brown polo boots. He opened my side door and told me he was driving. I looked at him in confusion and then unbuckled my seatbelt and slid over the seat.

“I’ve never let a woman drive me anywhere. I am a grown man, and I’m not about to start now.”

I rolled my eyes at him and then laughed at his sexist comment. “I’m sure your mother drove you somewhere when you were a tot.”

He sucked in a deep breath and then blew it out.

I introduced D’Artagnan to Michael; Michael threw one of his little hands up nonchalantly. He was way too busy to be polite now; he had told me when we pulled up that he was on level eight. When I asked him what he was talking about, he over dramatically shouted that he didn’t have time to educate me on Racer Dome 2000; whatever that means.

“I will have to introduce you to Babe later; she’s a little too comfortable in her seat right now.”

D’Artagnan nodded with a smile, and it warmed my heart that he truly wanted to meet her.

We had made it almost 2 hours down the interstate when my phone buzzed in my pocket. I pulled it out saw it was Jyme. He had started calling twice a day. He usually only wanted to hear Babe’s gibberish; but a couple of times he asked me how I was, and it caught me off guard. I looked over at D’Artagnan and gestured for him to be quiet. I answered the phone.

“Hold on a sec let me put the phone beside her.”

“Cricket, wait.”

“What?”

“My birthday is next week, and I would really like to see my baby.”

“Jyme, right now is not a good time.”

“Cricket, I swear I won’t hurt you like that again. I just get sick to my stomach every time I think about it. I don’t know why I listened to you, we were both hurting and you were trying to help fix it. You were desperate for my attention and I ended up hurting you in the process. I never wanted any of that to happen. And I said some really ugly things to you that I didn’t mean…”

“I can’t do this with you right now.”

“Don’t keep me away, Cricket; you and the Baby are all that I have. Can we still have what we tried to start before? Or have I completely fucked that up?”

I hung up the phone and looked out the window. I felt a couple of tears fall down, and D’Artagnan slid his free hand over on top of mine. I turned my hand up squeezing his, but I never turned to meet his eyes.

I nodded off to sleep and dreamed of the safe house. Babe was walking now; well…running was more like it. I chased her down the beach, and once I caught her, I scooped her up. When she was in my arms safe and sound, he wrapped his arms around us. She had both hands filled with chunks of our hair. One of her little hands was fisted with mine and the other was in her father’s. He whispered in my ear, “I love our little family.”

I interrupted that perfect dream by jolting awake. Babe was crying. She needed to be changed and fed.

“Can you pull over at the next rest stop?” I said sleepily to a smiling D’Artagnan.

I reached my hand back to her, and she grabbed it, trying to suck on my fingers. I wouldn’t let her, and she got frustrated. Chyna wouldn’t let her suck on a pacifier; she had read somewhere that they mess up children’s teeth. We ended up stopping at McDonalds and getting something to eat. Babe calmed down once I picked her up. I introduced her to D’Artagnan, and she smiled at him. Once he saw her smile, he was hooked just like everybody else. D’Artagnan took Michael to the bathroom and ordered us some food. I changed Babe and freshened up her clothes, and we went to meet up with the boys. D’Artagnan looked pissed as hell when I got back to them. I looked over at Michael, and he was staring out toward the kid’s zone.

“What’s wrong?” I asked him while I disinfected a high chair for Babe and placed her in it.

“Oh, nothing much; I was just sitting her listening to Michael say that when he gets older, he’s going to beat up Babe’s daddy because he beat up his Aunt Cricket in the shower, and she couldn’t get out of bed for a week.”

I looked over at Michael, and he hung his head down. I whispered in Michael’s ear. “If you eat all of your food, you can go play with the other kids.”

“You mad at me?” he asked me.

I shook my head, “No, sweetie. But you shouldn’t tell anybody else that story because that’s not what really happened.”

He nodded and started eating his fries. I gave Babe a bottle and avoided eye contact with D’Artagnan.

Once Michael was done eating his food, I let him go and play like I had promised. D’Artagnan hadn’t even touched his food yet. Babe had finished her bottle, and I placed her across my shoulder to burp her. I decided to finally make eye contact with D’Artagnan, and he was looking at me and shaking his head.

“I know I’m not from the streets, nor do I have a hood or a set that I’m from. But damn it, Cricket, I would never lay a hand on you. And what kind of a potential man would I be if I didn’t defend your honor?”

He was a little too loud, and a couple of people from the nearby tables looked over at us. I gave those wondering eyes warm smiles and leaned over the table, getting closer to him.

“This isn’t a pissing contest, D’Artagnan; and he didn’t put his hands on me. Jyme has never ever hit me.”

“Well, what the hell happened then?”

“It’s really none of your fuckin’ business.”

“Well, when a four year old confides in me that he wants to beat someone up for hurting his Aunt in the shower, I can only imagine what the fuck really happened.”

“Whatever happens between Jyme and me is our business. Now, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, and I will be forever in your debt, but you’re going too far with this “Captain Save-a-Ho” crusade of yours.”

“Cricket, I’ve never called you that.”

“I know that. I’m just saying.”

“Nor have I ever thought about you like that.”

His face was torn, and I felt terrible for what I had said to him. He reached over and pulled my hand into his.

“Cricket, I love you, and I would do anything for you.”

“We are not having this conversation right now, D’Artagnan.”

“Well, all I have to say is…I was there for you when he wasn’t.”

I knew he was referring to the time Jyme and I had broken up. That was during the time I had found out about Jyme’s secret life and all his extracurricular activities. D’Artagnan was there for me, and I would never forget that. He was my shoulder and rock during that hard time. I’m not sure if I would have made it without him.

“Cricket, you need to be with someone who understands the sacrifices you make and appreciates you for being the strong woman that you are.”

“Thank you and I appreciate it.”

We smiled at each other through the rest of our meal.

“I really need to go watch Michael; I can’t really see him from here.”

He nodded. I got up from the table and picked up Babe and her diaper bag.

I sat on one of the bleachers watching Michael like a hawk. I needed a distraction, and he was it right now. About ten minutes later, D’Artagnan came and sat right beside me. We sat there for at least three minutes without saying a word. We watched Michael playing with the other kids in the play center.

“I’m sorry, Cricket. It’s just…well, I don’t like the guy to begin with and now this.”

“He’s Babe’s father, D’Artagnan.”

“And you love him unconditionally; but does he feel the same about you?” he whispered.

I sat there, and a couple of tears fell from my watery eyes. Ever since I’d had Babe, I could cry at the drop of a hat and I hated that about me.

“Cricket, does he love you the same?”

I knew the true answer to that question, and I knew I couldn’t say the words. We let Michael play for another twenty minutes and loaded back up in the truck and continued to Tybee. It was getting dark now, and the kids were asleep.

“He didn’t rape me,” I whispered softly. “We had to work out some of our issues and it turned for the worst. But I swear to you, rape was not involved. I could have stopped him, but I needed him to do
that
to me. I didn’t think his actions afterwards would have turned out the way they did, but they did. I can’t take it back now, but if I could go back, I would have never suggested it. Things just didn’t work out as I planned them. I did a lot of things that hurt him. And I felt at the time that we could work through them. But that wasn’t the case; not at all. He told me he didn’t look at me the same and that he never would. During our working things out session, I bled a lot and I was sore, that’s all. I could have told him to stop before things got too bad, but I needed him. I needed him to do
that
to me. He has made it crystal clear that he doesn’t want me. All he’s concerned about is Babe; and he and I both know I can’t raise her. I wouldn’t be a good mother to her. I don’t know how to be a mother to her. He grew up in a steady home environment, and he’s a great father to her. I will eventually cave and give her to him. But I just want to spend a little more time with her while I can.”

I reached back into Babe’s car seat and brushed her hair out of her little face. We sat in silence for a while, and then D’Artagnan finally spoke.

“Cricket, I know you had a rough upbringing, but I’ve seen you with her and you’re great. It doesn’t matter what you know or don’t know. You learn as you go and just try not to lose it before you finish.”

I turned around to make sure Michael was still sleeping.

“D’Artagnan, I’m an almost reformed prostitute, and I live with a reformed prostitute and a crack addict. That is no environment for her, but that’s all I have for her right now.”

“Cricket, you’re one of the most considerate, passionate, and loving people I know. You’re going to be a great mother to Babe.”

I said nothing in return to him.

We pulled up at the beach house an hour later. The kids were still asleep, so we carried them both upstairs into the house. We woke Michael so he could use the bathroom, and I changed Babe and dressed her in her pajamas. I put her in the toddler bed and pulled the safety rails up. I went back downstairs to find D’Artagnan stretched out on the couch. I went to the end of the couch and pulled both of his legs over onto my lap. We laid there in silence, both of us exhausted from the trip.

“I’d fight for you,” he told me.

I smiled over at him and nodded. “I know you would, and thank you.”

“Cricket.”

“I know it’s really over between us, but for some reason, I just feel like we were meant for each other. It’s almost like he was made just for me and I for him.”

“How long has it been?”

“It’s been almost two weeks now.”

“Cricket, that’s not enough time to heal. You have to give yourself time.”

We both sat there in silence until we fell asleep. I woke up, and it was still dark outside. There was a warm light coming from the kitchen. I was lying in between D’Artagnan’s legs with my face pressed right up against his junk. I shifted, trying to pull myself away from him.

“Don’t,” D’Artagnan shifted, and then he reached for me. I watched him carefully; he had this look of need in his eyes. “Cricket, the dream I just had of me and you…I know you will never love me like you love him; but we can have a try at it.”

“D’Artagnan.”

“Just promise me you will try with me one day. Promise me one day.”

“I can’t make that promise to you.”

“Why not? I’ve been hurt by you, too, Cricket. He’s not the only one who loves you. I love you too, and I’m ready and willing. I may not be your Mr. Right, but can I at least be your Mr. Right now until further notice?”

“Don’t say that.”

“Kiss me.”

I slid up toward D’Artagnan’s face and kissed him slowly. D’Artagnan moaned into my mouth, I felt him growing underneath me. I pulled away, and D’Artagnan placed both of his hands on my waist.

“No, Cricket; not yet. You can pull away from me, but not yet please.”

“D’Artagnan, why are doing this to yourself?”

“I’m tired of always being in his shadow. I want to see the light he turned his back on.”

“D’Artagnan, I’m no good for you. I will never be able to give my full self to you, and my heart will always belong to him. No matter what he does and says. I can’t control that.”

“Cricket, he’s an idiot.”

D’Artagnan placed both of his hands behind the back of my neck and pulled me back into a kiss. We kissed softly and let our tongues massage each other’s. He whispered,
I love yous
through our make out session. He cupped my ass, and I felt him get so hard. He moaned so loudly when I finally reached down into his pants. D’Artagnan didn’t have an Anaconda in his pants, but his Python was still impressive. I did love D’Artagnan, and maybe in some other light we could have been together; but this light was burning out, and my flame didn’t belong to him. I could do this for him though. It wasn’t full satisfaction, but it was something. I stroked him until he came, and then he pulled me so close to him I could barely breathe. We slept there inside of each other’s arms for the rest of the night.