Wrecked (Sons of San Clemente Book 2) (16 page)

She felt shredded inside, but she focused on what she could do now. The inaction must be killing him. He thrived on action, on speed. And she’d been the one to bring up the past. To accuse him again.

“We could go for a drive,” she said softly. “Maybe on Ortega Highway I could get some speed up.”

She wasn’t sure she could afford the gas, but she didn’t care. She’d drive him anywhere.

“We could crank the music. Lincoln Park. Black Keys. Whatever you want.”

That was what she still did when the walls closed in and her body felt like nothing fit together and her head felt like it would explode if she didn’t get out of it. He hesitated so long she thought he’d say no. That maybe he’d start drinking to take the edge off or blur the lines totally.

“We’ll take my car. It’s at my house.” He drained his latte. “Let’s drive to the desert. Probably can’t manage a hike to Palm Canyon, but what the fuck? It’s something.”

She nodded. Anything.

He tossed the cup across the deck where it neatly fell into the recycling bin. “I’ll pay the ticket.”

Hollis laughed. “That’s assuming the cop catches me.”

He touched the corner of her smile where it began to disappear under his scrutiny and her uncertainty.

“Yeah,” he smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I’d have to tell him good luck with that, buddy.”

T
here hadn’t been a ticket. Yes, Hollis had been pulled over, but the officer had been a surfer, and his two sons huge fans of Kadan. Instead, they took a photo and Kadan had signed two autographs.

“See, not everyone wants their breasts signed,” he’d teased her.

Hollis had forgotten how easy Kadan was to hang out with. He could be quiet or chat. She’d headed, almost automatically, to Anza Borrego, as it was one of their favorite places to hike, but since Kadan couldn’t hike the Palm Desert Trail or any other trail safely with the crutches, instead she’d gone over the mountain and dropped into Palm Desert, which was a much more upscale town but still surrounded by natural beauty. There was a desert preserve and she thought they could navigate the wide paths to look at the plants and rescue wild life.

They’d lunched outside on a patio surrounded by blooms of bougainvillea and birds of paradise. They’d walked down the main shopping area and had even indulged in frozen sorbet, with Kadan looking at all the yogurt flavors and speculating how much they would close down his arteries or cause cancer to crawl through his body on contact.

“You could have had yogurt,” she said as they walked out, Hollis carrying the towering swirl of peach and watermelon frozen sorbet.

“I’ve heard dairy’s a killer,” he said. “Much more practical to share since I have no free hands.”

“We could sit.”

“Feels good to walk,” he said. “I never want to live away from the ocean, but having a long, flat surface to walk on feels good right about now.”

So they’d walked and window-shopped. Hollis held out the spoonful of sorbet and fed him, watching his lips wrap around the spoon and the long, tan column of his throat move when he swallowed.

“You’re not eating.” He commented.

She flushed a little, realizing she’d been getting turned on watching him eat and with feeding him. Everything about him turned her on but sharing such an intimate moment, just the two of them, created the illusion they were a couple, in love, and they did more together than just lose themselves in each other’s bodies. Although she wished she could lose herself in his body now.

He’d stopped in front of a store that featured mannequins slouching about in short, sexy dresses. Hollis stood beside him.

“I like that one,” he said looking at a pale peach dress that was off the shoulder and had stitching details along the sides that would make it fall softly but cling.

“Oh,” Hollis said. It was beautiful. Casual but elegant. “It’s an interesting color choice for you.”

“Yes it is.” He didn’t miss a beat. “Try it on.”

“Ummm, no,” she said. “I’m....”

“That color would be amazing with your hair.” He breathed in her ear. “And your skin.”

“I think it’s cashmere.” She swallowed.

It would be astronomically expensive just judging by the window display in the store, and the fact that cashmere was always spendy, but anything spun that finely would be several hundred dollars to start, quite possibly more. She’d grown up shopping like that. Had thought nothing of it. But not now.

She tugged on his arm. “It’s pretty,” she said.

“I want to see you in it.”

“Kadan.”

“For me.”

“But...” How to say she didn’t have the money to someone who was so determined to manage his money effectively. Who knew she’d grown up in luxury.

He smiled. His eyes lit up and crinkled in the lines she felt she could still trace in her sleep.

“For me.” He repeated softly.

Hollis hadn’t been able to resist him anything ever and couldn’t even begin to try now.

“I’m just trying it on.” She’d warned.

And he’d sat in a chair in the store, been served sparkling water and lime, and waited with such an air of expectation that Hollis had felt a strange kind of power flowing through her.

She’d felt happy, as if they belonged. As if the past six years of struggle and failure and righting herself only to tip over again had happened to someone else. She slipped the dress on and sucked in her breath. It was breathtakingly gorgeous, soft and sexy. It clung to her curves and skimmed her mid thigh. The cashmere was like a whisper sliding over her skin.

She stared at herself in the mirror. It was like a time warp. Like six years of loneliness and comparing every man to Kadan had been shed in a black hole, ground to cosmic dust, barely a memory.

Reluctantly, she came out of the dressing room. Kadan’s eyes lit up and she could practically feel all her body parts start to hum in anticipation of what he was going to say and what he looked like he wanted to do to her. He turned his finger in a circle and smiled. The store, the salespeople, the customers disappeared. She turned a slow circle, feeling reality slide away and a slow sensuous buzz take its place. He stood and motioned her closer.

“Better than I imagined.” He whispered in her ear. His hands skimmed down her back and rested low on her waist. “I know you aren’t wearing a bra. Are you still wearing panties?”

“Yes, Mister One-Track-Mind.” She nibbled his lip.

“Take those off for me, too. You can wear the dress home so I can play.”

“I’d crash your car.”

“It would be almost worth it.” He breathed.

She shook her head at him, unable to stop smiling. She put her hand against his stomach, all abs nothing extra.

“You’ll need to take a picture of the dress,” she said. “It’s lovely, but I’m not in a dress buying mood.”

“I am.”

“You should have tried it on then.”

“Maybe later.” He plucked the tag off the back and went to the register.

“Kadan.”

“Do the other thing I said.” He called out over his shoulder.

Hollis stared at his back. If she continued to protest, she had no doubt he’d clarify loudly and clearly what his second request had been. Take off her panties. But what was she doing? She was letting him buy her a beautiful but overpriced dress like they were together. Still a couple. Again. Even then, he hadn’t taken her shopping. He’d often been traveling or he’d catch up with her at a restaurant or bar or a friend’s house late in the evening. When they were together during the day it was usually something active—a run or a hike, sailing or kayaking. Not hanging out like this. This was different.

And she loved it.

And that was terrifying. How easily he’d become part of her life again. And he couldn’t. Because he’d heal. She wanted him to heal. She did. But then he’d be gone.

H
ollis drove down El Camino Real into San Clemente and cut through several side streets towards the beach and into Kadan’s driveway so they could drop off his car and retrieve hers, which was more practical with his injury.

“I had fun today,” she said softly waiting for him to key the code into his phone to open his garage door. “It was great to get away.”

“Great.” He mocked the word. “That’s the best you can do after a billion years at Stanford.”

He leaned over, his tongue trailed along her collarbone, and Hollis jerked and went boneless. Her foot fell off the clutch and the car stalled. He laughed in her ear; one hand slid up her thigh.

“I still got it.” He breathed in her ear, which sent heat crashing through her.

With every woman
, she reminded herself. And then stomped on the thought. He’d said no. Could it be true? Kadan had always been honest in every other area of his life, even about himself, his past, his feelings, his injuries. He’d always been candid with her, painfully so when she’d been a starstruck teen following him around. And he’d been pissed when she’d brought it up. Adamant. She wouldn’t do it again. But could she let go of her doubt? Trust him. Really trust him? Let him in all the way? Let him see her doubt and fears?

“You look so delicious I feel like I should show you off and take you out to eat.”

“I thought we were hiding out.” She arched her body into his, moaning when his hand slid in the low neck of her dress and cupped her bare breast.

The only thing she wanted to eat was him.

“Let’s go back to the beach cottage,” he whispered, licking the rim of her ear. “We’ll get your car tomorrow. I don’t think I can stand.”

He pulled her hand down to cup his rock hard erection. Hollis’ fingers caught the zipper tab. She wanted to touch him, rub him against her breasts, taste him.

“Okay.”

“God, I want you right here. Right now. Don’t tempt me,” he demanded. “I am so not giving anyone a show but me.” He stilled her fingers on the zipper and moved her hand to the steering wheel. “You drive. I play.”

She went to restart his car but fumbled the keys. She cried out as his hand slid between her thighs. She was wet. Always wet. And his thumb skillfully circled her clit as he slid two fingers inside of her without hesitation. She jerked against him, stifling a cry, wishing she had some sort of armor when that defense had been breached before she’d reached adulthood.

“I am so thirsty.” He breathed against her lips.

“Kadan, man, thought that sounded like your car. Where you been hiding?”

Two men strolled around the corner of his house; wet suits peeled halfway down their toned bodies. They pulled up short seeing Hollis in the driver’s seat. Kadan lifted his head and slid his sunglasses back into place. His hand twitched the dress as low as it would go and then spanned her bare thigh.

She didn’t recognize the two surfers and suddenly she felt stupid and old. So old. Were these idiots even out of high school?

“Aaaaah, man, cool, Kadan.” The one with jet black, shoulder-length black hair drawled. “Now I get it. Totally. I’d be hiding out too. Red hair. Common knowledge you got a thing for that.”

Kadan pulled his hand away and Hollis felt a million times worse.

He went to fist bump Kadan, shooting his arm in front of Hollis’ face.

“Cole.” Kadan pushed the man’s arm out of Hollis’ face. “You know Hollis. Say hello and good bye.”

“Hello.” He grinned.

Two dimples and laugh lines came easily and Hollis remembered that cheeky grin. Cole had always hung out with Holland, and he hadn’t even hit puberty before he knew those two things worked on the girls. His eyes were wary though. She wondered why.

She could barely stretch a smile. It was all going to start again, sharing Kadan all the time with dozens of other people. And it should, she reminded herself. This was his life. It was her problem that she didn’t like crowds. Her problem was she didn’t like his lifestyle. Too social. Too busy. She wanted more of his time for herself.

Selfish.

It was better for Kadan to link up with some of his friends. They understood him and the injury and healing process. Besides, how was she supposed to figure out who she was and remake her life if she kept jumping into bed with him? It would be good for them both for him to reenter his world.

“Luke and I have been crashing here. Zen said you wouldn’t mind.”