Writing with Stardust: The Ultimate Descriptive Guide for students, parents, teachers and writers (22 page)

A good technique is to start off a battle scene with a placid scene. It could be a cloudless day with a gentle breeze. Euphony can be used for the wind. It may be exhaling or whispering. Then as the scene unfolds, the clouds begin to boil and the sun is blotted out. The soldiers begin to get nervous as the enemy appears. This was alluded to in the pathetic fallacy section earlier. The words get steadily louder and harsher as the battle commences. This is called
cacophony
, also known as
dissonance
.

The key ingredient is to have a word bank planned beforehand. If the words are increasing in intensity, it will give a good climax to the story. I have seen articles and books where other writers have argued against this. They probably do not have to sit an important exam where they are judged on what they can write in a short space of time!

Cacophony is the use of loud, harsh or jarring sounds in a passage of writing
. It is the opposite of euphony and it is particularly useful when describing battle scenes, storms or thunder and lightning. Its purpose is to recreate the mood and sounds of a tempestuous scene. The grid shows the difference between the dissonance (cacophony) of the top grid and the more mellow effect of the bottom grid. The phonics does not change in the ‘ng’ column, but there is a huge difference between the harsh and the soft sounds. By putting them all in a sentence, one can see the difference in impact and noise they create.

SENTENCE 1: “The armour was
clanging
as the steel tips of the
fizzing
arrows were
clanking
into them”.

SENTENCE 2: “The armour was
dinging
as the wooden tips of the
strumming
arrows were
chinking
into them”.

The first sentence is strident and resonant. The second one has a musical lilt, a tinny ping if you like. By deconstructing different sounds and phonics, a teacher or educator can demonstrate clearly the link between sound and mood in an essay.

  
HARSH ‘ng’ SOUNDS            FAST ‘zz’ SOUNDS                 DEEP ‘nk’ SOUNDS

Consonance is the repetition of final consonant sounds in a sentence or passage of writing
. Using words ending in ‘ng’, for example’, would lend a metallic quality to the sentence. Most typically, words ending with a‘s’ are used to lend a sinister or fearful mood to the passage. “
The insidious mist creeps towards the nervous hills
”. The use of five words ending with a‘s’ make it a clear example.

Because there’s a hissing quality throughout the sentence, it is also an example of
sibilance.

                
DESCRIBING BATTLE SCENES

                                               
SKY
COLOUR

LEVEL 1         LEVEL 2         LEVEL 3         LEVEL 4         LEVEL 5          OTHERS

1. A
scar
of bright light hung in the bat-black sky.

2. A
gash
of radiant light broke through the cauldron-black sky.

3. A
fracture
of birthstone-bright light peeped through the pagan-black sky.

4. A
rupture
of moonstone-yellow light appeared in the carnal-black sky.

5. A
lesion
of lodestar-bright light illuminated the benighted sky.

                                                 
BLOOD COLOUR

1. Berry-red blood
squirted
from our wounds.

2. Brazier-red blood
sprayed
from our wounds.

3. Molten-red blood
splashed
from our open wounds.

4. Balefire-red blood
splattered
from our gaping wounds.

5. Titian-red blood
spurted
from our wounds as men wailed and screamed.

                                                 
BATTLE SOUNDS

1. We were battering and beating against our enemy under a
sunless
sky.

2.  We were clobbering and clubbing against their shield wall under a
moonless
sky.

3. We were pounding and pummelling their defences under a
beamless
sky.

4. We were carving and cleaving towards the centre of their army under a
rayless
sky.

5. We were mangling and gashing their serried ranks under a
starless
sky.

                                                
MISSILE SOUNDS

1. A
storm
of arrows was buzzing and fizzing through the sky.

2. A
blizzard
of spears was shrilling and sissing through the sky.

3. A
tempest
of lances was rasping and keening through the basalt-black sky.

4. A
maelstrom
of pig stickers was whizzing and whistling through the benzene-black sky.

5. A
windstorm
of fire arrows was skirling and sizzling through the bitumen-black sky.

                                                   CRIES OF PAIN

1. Men were screaming and screeching as the ground became
slippery with sludge
.

2. Men were snarling and squealing as the ground became
greasy with gore
.

3. Men were blubbering and choking as the battleground became
slimy with intestines
.

4. Men were groaning and yowling as the battlefield became
slick with innards
.

5. The theatre of death filled up with keening and caterwauling sounds as the sodden earth became
oily with ichor
.

                                                
SOUNDS OF METAL

1. Our harnesses were chinking and dinging under the
boiling
sky.

2. Our swords were clinking and clashing under the
churning
sky.

3. Our chain armour was jingling and tinkling under the
turbulent,
cellar-black sky.

4. Our axes were clattering and clanking into their wooden shields under the
roiling
, doom-laden sky.

5. Our weapons were clanging and clangourous under the
seething
, spite-filled sky.

                         
PLURAL NOUNS FOR MONSTERS

1. Our bones were
breaking and popping
as a sea of enemies crashed into us.

2. Our bones were
snapping and shattering
as a flood of monsters broke our lines.