Wrong for Me (Bad Boy Romance) (6 page)

My
eyes traced over the red rocks that filled the entire frame of my monitor. The
sky was a bright blue with white clouds floating high up above the rocks. Being
born and raised in the big city, I could probably count the number of times I
had been out in nature on one hand.

Even
though my eyes traced over the picture of the Grand Canyon my mind couldn’t
stop racing between two thoughts. The first thought was Rick.

The
second thought was the fact that Jennifer got the promotion to vice president.

“It’s
probably because she sucks his dick…” I muttered under my breath before
laughing out loud. As soon as the words left my lips I heard a scoff and a
sharp inhale.

I
looked up from my desk to see Samantha staring at me with her hand over her
mouth and a shocked expression on her face. I didn’t even notice her walk in
the office to give me a report. I should have closed my office door. Normally I
would have instantly tried to laugh and brushoff the comment as a joke. But at
that point I didn’t care much anymore. I was already at my wits end and I
wasn’t going to cover it up for Samantha.

She
delicately placed the report on my desk as if I were a sleeping lion ready to
attack an intruder if awoken. I gave her a half smile as she started to turn
around and head for the door.

Chirp. Chirp.

My
eyes rolled to the back of my head as I reached for my phone with a heavy sigh.
This was the last thing I needed now. I swiped my thumb across the screen to
unlock the phone and open my mother’s text message.

-Do something today your future self will
thank you for. -

I
read her message several times. It was such a short sentence, but for once one
of her texts actually got me thinking. What would my future self want? It seems
like all I ever do is think about my future self. I’m constantly trying to work
hard to get that new promotion, or further my career in some meaningful way.

Some
meaningful way…

And
that’s when it really hit me. None of this meant anything to me. I didn’t want
any of this. The career, the promotion, the dates with boring-office-drone-men;
none of it was something I wanted. It wasn’t
meaningful
.

It
was
meaningless
.

All
I ever did was work for my ‘future self’. I always thought my future self would
be happy with a promotion, or making more money, or succeeding to make my mother
happy.
 
But I never stopped to consider
that if I stayed on the same path and I wasn’t happy in the
present
, I wouldn’t be happy in the
future
.

My
future self didn’t want a promotion. I was just working for that because that’s
what I thought I was supposed to do. It was the next logical step up the
ladder. But why climb the ladder when you don’t even want what’s at the top?

I
knew what I wanted. I was just too afraid to admit it until that moment. I
wanted freedom, adventure, travel, and Rick.

I wanted
Rick.

“Is
everything alright?” Samantha asked, snapping me out of my moment of clarity.

“Yea.”
My face lit up in a bright smile, “everything’s great.”

She
looked at me like I was crazy.

“I’m
quitting.” I said as I practically launched out of my chair.

“You’re
what?” The shocked look on her face grew even more exaggerated.

“I’m
quitting. You’ll have to give the report to Jennifer.” I rounded my desk and
walked toward Samantha. She just stared at me like I was a crazy person and
maybe I was a crazy person right then. But I didn’t feel like it. For the first
time in my life I felt like I was thinking straight.

“Samantha,”
I said as I placed my hands on each of her shoulders. “You have been absolutely
wonderful.”

“Thank
you…” She managed to mutter out.

With
that, I walked out of the office and pulled up Rick’s number in my phone as I
made my way to Mr. Paul’s office.

-
You were right, the attraction between us is
too much to ignore. –

He
responded almost instantly.

-
I know. –

-
I’m quitting my job. I don’t want to do
this. I want you. You have room on the bike for one more to Washington? –

-For you? Of course. :-) –

I
couldn’t hide the huge grin on my face as I walked into Mr. Paul’s office.

“Kayla,
aren’t you looking happy today.” Mr. Paul said as soon as I walked in.

“I’m
quitting.”

He
looked even more shocked than Samantha.

“Quitting…you
can’t quit I need
-“

“I’m
done Mr. Paul. Jennifer can take over my workload. I have to leave
immediately.”

“Where
are you going?” I could tell he was trying to make sense of the situation. From
the outside, it probably didn’t look like it made much sense at all.

“I’m
going away. If you need anything else from me send it to my email. I’ll clean
out my office now.”

“But
Kayla…”

I
walked out of the door, not looking back for even a second. When I got back to
my office I looked around for any personal belongings. That’s when I realized I
didn’t have any. My office was practically a splitting image of what it looked
like before it was mine. I never liked that place. That’s why I didn’t want to
add any personal touch.

I
could tell everyone was staring at me as I made my way out of the front door to
O.P. Advertising Firm. I could practically hear the judging whispers as I
walked down the hallway and past the copy machines that only worked half the
time. I hated those things and for a moment I did a little victory dance inside
my head, knowing I would never have to use them again.

As
soon as I walked out onto the busy city street the sun kissed me on the cheeks.
It was warm and inviting. It felt wonderful.

I
was never going to be happy inside the building behind me. Happiness was
somewhere out in front of me. Happiness was in the air and in the sun.

It was
on that motorcycle with Rick. For once one of my mother’s motivational texts
actually worked on me.

In
that moment, I knew my future self was going to be happy.

In
that moment, everything felt right.

The End

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Kurt walked into the house he once called home
and looked around. Not much had changed. It had been over a year since he even
set foot in it and now he had two weeks to spend there. He shifted his weight
from one foot to the other as the uncertainty of spending that amount of time
in his parents’ house hit him. After looking around one more time he heaved the
bag of his belongings over his shoulder and headed upstairs to his old bedroom.

It had been a long time since he’d visited his
parents’ house; longer since he had stayed there, and even longer since he
lived there. At 27 years old his last memories as a 17-year-old still living
with mom and dad in that house were already starting to grow a bit fuzzy. He
had moved out shortly before his eighteenth birthday with a buddy of his before
finally branching out two years later and moving away from town. He wouldn’t
return until almost four years later after earning his degree in Political
Science.

It wasn’t until about his 24th birthday that he
decided to join the army. He had visited his parents for all of three days when
he already felt a pull to get going. It wasn’t that he had a bad experience
living there. He got along with his parents just fine. It was just that he
always had more of a spirit of independence and he couldn’t stand the feeling
of being cooped up. That was why he broke free from the nest at the first
opportunity he had. His mother, with watery eyes, had hugged him tight and
wished him the best of luck.

Now in his 27th year of life and a successful
Corporal in the Army, he had taken his first big leave to visit his parents.
His mother was overjoyed by the news and his father, a man of few words,
offered a very short statement of happiness at seeing his son after many years.
Kurt understood his father, John. John had never hurt Kurt or made him feel
like his childhood or life lacked a father in any way.

John just wasn’t exactly an emotionally charged
man with much to say. Kurt had observed it from a young age and developed an
admiration for his father that was quite unique. His mother, on the other hand,
was quite vocal and obvious when it came to her feelings. Kurt had always found
it funny how his mom and dad ended up together. They were the perfect example
that opposites did indeed attract but, at their core, they shared important
values and found harmony that way.

Kurt opened up his old bedroom door and was met
with a shock. It was completely transformed. It was no longer the room from his
teenage years. It didn’t have all his old posters on the wall or clothes
lingering in the closet. None of his old trinkets were sitting atop the
shelves. Even the carpet and color of the walls were different. He dropped the
heavy bag to the floor and looked around. It was transformed into quite a
lovely guest room. Just as he took his first step inside to look more closely,
he heard the front door of the house open downstairs.

“Kurt, honey?” It was his mother calling out to
him, wondering if he had already arrived. He listened intently, but there were
no sounds to indicate his father was with her. He stepped out of the bedroom
and walked to the top of the stairs. His mother’s eyes shined with pure joy and
she immediately bounded up the stairs to pull him into a tight hug.

 
“Oh,
Kurt,” she mumbled into his shoulder. He chuckled as he wrapped his arms around
his small mother. She was very short and had a small frame which made Kurt look
gigantic beside her.

 
“I’ve
miss you so much,” she said as she pulled away from the hug. She reached up and
cupped his cheeks. He could almost hear the cooing noise she wanted to make,
but it never came. She finally let go and asked, “Did you see the bedroom yet?”

“What is going on in there?” He asked in
surprise.

It was obvious it had been completely
remodeled, but he wanted all the details. He could only assume it had been his
mother’s idea to update his old bedroom. She led him over to it and confirmed it
was her idea. She said she wanted a more grown-up place for her son to stay now
that he would be in her house for the first time in years. She had tried to do
it with what he would like in mind.

“Although,” she said rather quietly, “I can’t
say I’m entirely sure I know what this son likes.”

“What do you mean by
this
son, mom?” Kurt draped his arm over his mother’s frail
shoulders and squeezed as his eyes looked over every detail of the room.

“You’re a mature young man now, Kurt. You’ve
been gone for so long, too. I don’t know how your tastes have changed.”

Something about what his mother said broke his
heart. He knew she supported his every move and was happy to see him living his
own life, but he rarely stopped to think about what that really entailed. It
wasn’t as simple as being away from his old home and his parents; he was so far
removed that they were also missing out on how he was changing over time. There
were little things they didn’t know about him and he knew that made his mother
sad.

 
“I love
it, mom.” His voice was soft in the way he only ever spoke to her. Nobody else
got to hear him speak like that. It was only his mother who moved him enough to
speak so softly.

Once Kurt was settled into his room and
everything was unpacked he headed downstairs to find his mom had already made a
delicious vegetable stew and some dinner rolls. She asked all about his life on
the Army base and if he had made good friends out there. She, of course, asked
if he had a girlfriend. He knew she meant no harm. She just wanted to know all
about her son’s life.

Once they were done eating he insisted on
cleaning up the kitchen while she relaxed on the couch in the living room and
watched television. It was right around the time he finished cleaning up that
his father got home and greeted him. They all went to the living room and
watched a short movie together before his dad went to bed.

That was when his mother turned to look at him
with a look in her eye that meant something new was headed his way. It didn’t look
like anything bad so he wasn’t nervous.

“Kurt, honey,” she started off before scooting
closer to him on the couch. “I prepared a little something for your arrival
tomorrow night. Just a little party. Oh, honey, it’s just been so long since
you’ve been here!”