Wrong Kind of Love (10 page)

I open the door to Grace’s room and walk in. She is sitting on Jessica’s old
bed, which is right next to the wall that separates my room from this one. I could hear Jessica on the phone at night and learned several things I didn’t want to know about her. It didn’t help my bed is right next to the shared wall.

“Please get out
, Caden. I can’t deal with you right now.” She sounds different and I realize that her southern accent is gone. I’ve heard her speak this way before, but I didn’t think anything of it. Now I wonder what all her secrets are. She obviously has some shit to hide. It was a total shock to learn her real name isn’t Grace.

“
Can’t do that, Angel. You and I need to talk.” I cross the room and sit down next to her on the bed. I don’t even think about what I’m doing and pull her down to lie in my arms. We have a seriously fucked up situation going on and right now all I need to know is if she is going to pick me.

She
tries to fight me, but I don’t let her. She is going to lay here and talk to me if it kills us both. And it might, if Jaden hears anything we say. I brush that thought away. Do I really even care if he finds out? No because I’m tired of wanting what’s mine and letting him think he has her. Jaden has gotten whatever the hell he wanted our whole lives. I’m sick of it. It’s time I got something.

When she realizes that
I’m not going to give up she lays still and I roll onto my side and prop my head up on my hand. I hover over her gorgeous face and refrain from bending down and kissing her. “I wanna know what you want to do. I have to know what you want. This shit has been killing me. I shouldn’t have told you to be with Jaden. I thought I would get over you but I just couldn’t. I tried and I tried but every time I closed my eyes at night I saw you. I see you. I want you to be my girl so bad, I think it’s killing me.”

She is quiet as I ramble on
, but now her eyes are misty and she reaches up to cup my cheek. My own hand encircles her wrist and holds her there. I feel so alive when she touches me. It’s almost like I could do anything. And I want to feel this every day. I want her every day. “You don’t know how much I wished you would have said that weeks ago. It’s too late now. I’m not going to hurt him. And I’m certainly not going to leave him for you when you can’t promise me anything. You said you didn’t want me and here you are saying you do. I’m not leaving behind something that is secure for something that isn’t. I need security. Not something that might fall apart tomorrow.”

She wrestles her wrist away from me and I feel the loss like a ton of bricks. I can
’t even begin to comprehend what she is telling me. “But you don’t want him. You want me.” I want to scream it from the top of the stairs so the entire house can hear me. I want the whole world to hear it. Feel it. Believe it.

“Physically I want you. My body doesn’t rule my mind and my heart. Those are for Jaden right now. Not you. I don’t want some relationship with you built on lust. I want it built on a
future and love. You can’t give me that.” When a tear escapes her eye, I know she is full of shit. She knows it too, but she won’t admit it. That hurts more than her saying she only feels lust for me. I know that’s wrong as well. Her eyes are brighter when she’s looking at me. You can’t feel what we feel if there wasn’t some sort of feeling involved. My dick may want her all the time but so does my heart.

I climb out of the bed and stand on shak
y legs. This has become too much for me. I was here to finally get what I wanted, but here she is telling me I can’t have it. I’m pissed off, hurt, and exhausted. I make eye contact before I put her in her place. “You can sit here and lie all you want, Grace. But I fucking know. I know how you feel, because I feel it too. And it’s not just here,” I point to my groin and then to my heart. “But here too. I feel you everywhere and I want you to be with me and not him. He can’t be what you need. When you figure that out I won’t be here waiting for you. I’m done playing games and pretending that you mean nothing to me.” I let out a bitter laugh and shake my head.

“Well I guess now it
’s not pretending. You are nothing to me now. Since you picked him. I know what kind of person you are and I refuse to be pining for a fucking coward. If you won’t fight for us, then I won’t either.” My anger comes to boiling point because she hasn’t stopped me or tried to throw in her input. “I’m fucking done, Grace. Don’t come crying to me when Jaden can’t love you like I could. His heart belongs to someone else and he doesn’t even want it back.”

I bend down to her level and glare into her eyes. “You think you can fill that hole? Well you fucking can
’t. You won’t ever be her and you’re sick for trying.” I stalk to the door before turning around one last time. “Have a nice fucking life in your one sided relationship.” The door softly clicks behind me. How I wish I could have slammed it.

One month later
…

I think my entire family is about to disown me. I have been an irritable asshole for a month. I need to get laid but the only person I want to have in my bed is my brother’s girl. I bet he can’t even get her off. Jaden is too vanilla for Grace. She’s way to wild in bed for him. I hope she is getting sick of missionary position. Assholes.

I think I would be less like this i
f she was showing signs of being just as upset about it, but she’s not. She looks so fucking happy that it only pisses me off more. There’s no way she is truly happy with Jaden. They have no passion together, so it makes no sense why she won’t be with me. I could give her all the passion in the world. But apparently I’m not good enough for her.

December came and went and now
I’m sitting on the couch watching some stupid show that I’m not even paying attention to. I want to be painting, but I ran out of paint. Mom went to get me some more. I should have gone, but I think mom wanted to get away from the house for a little while. I’ve been painting everyday since Grace rejected me. A lot of them are of her and some of them are of her and me. Then there are the others that are dark and angry. Dark colors swirl around the canvas shaping things that are wrong.

Those I have hanging around the apartment I share with Jaden.
I hope Grace comes over and sees them and knows I hate her. Jaden tried to say something about them but I just growled and told him to fuck off. I’ve been growling and telling people to fuck off a lot lately.

When I hear Declan start shouting for help
I’m out of my seat and rushing up the stairs. What I find makes me want to fuck up Declan. Teagan lies on the floor with blooding pooling around her. “What the fuck happened?” I spit out.

“I don’t know. I went down stairs to get her a cup of tea. She said she wasn’t feeling well. We thought it might have been a cold or the flu. When I got back, this is how I found her,” he says quickly, looking scared out of his mind. The big guy with his short dirty blonde hair and chocolate eyes, who I would never have picked for my
sister, is literally falling apart right now. I can see the love for her in his eyes and I know right then and there I can truly respect this guy.

“Come on,
let’s get her to the hospital. We can make it faster than the ambulance can get here.” I don’t wait for him; I just head out the door.

Declan sits in the back with Teagan and softly coos at her.
Normally I would find it sickening but I know we are both freaked the fuck out. My sister has been through a lot in her short life and adding this is going to fucking break her. It doesn’t take much to put it together. I know Teagan spent the night in Declan’s room over Thanksgiving and the blood is coming from her girly parts. This has miscarriage written all over it. I can breathe easier because I know Dec is a good guy and will stand by her through this. He’ll be there and that makes me envy their relationship. I want someone to care about me that much. Just one fucking person.

As predictable as
a rainstorm on a cloudy day, Jaden blows his shit when he finds out. If I hadn’t already known I probably would too. But me being the smarter twin I figured it out a long ass time ago. And because I can’t stand the sight of Jaden right now I didn’t tell him. He can go fuck himself.

Teagan does something I never thought would happen, she throws Declan out of her hospital room. I do realize she just had a
traumatic experience but I have never wanted to hit my sister so much. And she has pissed me off real bad before. I run after Declan when I find out and have to stop Jaden “big headed idiot” Harper from trying to kill Dec. I swear my brother only thinks about himself.

Declan and his brother finally get to leave because I tell them to and I hold back
‘big head’. When they are good and gone I shove Jaden as hard as I can away from me and stalk off.

I’m done with this family.

I knew when I got up this morning it was going to be one of those days. I just knew everything was going to suck and I would want to end my miserable life by the end of it. I didn’t even make it all the way into my first class of the semester before I wanted that to happen.

Aiden said we were here in Arkansas because it was far enough away from New York. I should have told him he was full of shit. I keep thinking back to the day I called Justin and how much danger I put us in. Well Aiden put us in even more.

My biological father is my professor for Chemistry 101. I haven’t seen this man since I was eight years old and he was packing up his bags to leave my mother. Aiden said
Daniel forced him out, but I didn’t really care. He left us in that house with those people for ten years. He can kiss my ass.

The second thing happened five minutes later. While
I’m sitting there staring holes into my father’s brown haired covered head, I hear a very familiar sexy drawl. It comes from a few yards back but I know it like I know my own voice. No one could mistake Caden Harper for anyone else.

I don’t even turn around. I
can’t believe that I have a class with him. I do realize I haven’t decided my major, but we all know he’s going for art or something. I really don’t see what chemistry has to do with art. I really hope he ignores me. I couldn’t handle him right now upon the discovery that my father is living in Arkansas and teaching college students.

Dad doesn’t look any different. Still looks like an older version of Aiden
, before he dyed his hair. Though now that he has turned around I can see the grey growing at his temples. I can see what my mother saw in him. He is very classically handsome with this strong jaw and smart nose. His brown eyes are scanning the room and right before they reach me I duck my face down. I really couldn’t do with him recognizing me.

“Got something for the professor?” Caden whispers into my ear.

I jump in my seat and turn around to glare at him. “Excuse me?” I snap turning away from him.

He sits down in the chair next to mine. I groan and roll my eyes. Figures he would want to torture the hell out of me. “Well you have been staring holes into that guy for like five whole minutes. Just wondering if you had a thing for older guys now.” He shrugs his shoulders while r
eaching over into his bag.

“I’m not staring at him.” I snap again grabbing my bag to move to another seat. I’m not
sitting next to him all this semester.

When
he grabs my wrist to stop me I freeze. I told him no. I told him I wanted Jaden when really I wanted Caden. Want Caden. I think I will always want Caden. “Sit, Grace. If you’re gonna pretend you want my brother, you can at least be my friend.” He motions with his eyes for me to sit.

I really want to sit but I refuse to be pulled in again. I refuse to be in this sick game of whatever with him.
I’m stronger and better than this. “No. Let go Caden.”

“Sit. I mean it. If you didn’t want me in your life then you shouldn’t have stayed with my brother.” I really start to leave again but he refuses to let go. I know this might cause a scene so I finally do as he wishes and sit. Though
I’m not happy about it at all.

“Good girl.” He whispers right in my ear and I can
’t stop the shiver that races through my body. Caden gives me a knowing look and I grit my teeth. Cocky asshole.

Professor Carlton AKA dad starts class after I plant my ass. I try to listen I really do
, but I can’t find the space in my head. I really just want this day to end so I can go back to my empty dorm room and blow my brains out.

Teagan has
spun into a severe depression and decided she didn’t want to do anything but lie in bed all day long and stare at the ceiling. Not that I blame her. I don’t know what I would have done had I find out I was pregnant by a miscarriage. I feel for her, I really do but she shouldn’t have shut Declan out. That was immature and now I’m kind of wondering what the hell she was thinking.

The asshole next to me had enough of the bullshit running around in his family and moved out of the apartment he shared with Jaden. Word has it he is living with Declan and his little brother.

Before I know it class is over and Caden is shaking me out of my thoughts. I look up at him and I see the same look I know is reflected in mine. We want each other but I won’t put myself through all that again. I don’t want to be that girl who falls head over heels for the guy knowing he is going to hurt her. “Coffee?” he asks softly.

It
’s on the tip of my tongue with Professor Carlton says, “Miss…Breadfield.” He has to look down at his roster. “A word please?”

Caden gives me a confused look and I shrug my shoulders. “Never.” I whi
sper too so that only he can hear. “Yes sir.” I say to Professor Carlton.

Caden glares down at me but I can
’t care. I hope Dad didn’t recognize me. I hope he has some trivial thing to ask me or anything other then what I know he is going to say.

When Caden finally leaves
the room I make my way down to Dad’s desk. He walks over to his classroom door and shuts and locks it. He pulls down the blinds and I know right then and there he knows who I am.

I’m startled when Dad grabs me up into a really tight hug. I don’t even know why
, but I start crying and hug him just as tight back. I don’t want to let him go ever. My mother hasn’t ever hugged me and this is what I remember the most about my dad. His hugs.

“Kayla. Kayla. Kayla.” He chants over and over again in my shoulder. I feel dampness through my shirt and I know he is crying too.

“Dad.” I whisper shakily.

He pulls away to look down at me. All the love I wish my mother could muster for me is shining in his eyes. He places his hands on my jaw and wipes away my tears. I refuse to stop touching him and h
old onto his biceps. “What are you doing here? Where is Aiden? How the hell are you in college? You haven’t even graduated high school yet!” he exclaims looking me over.

“
Aiden is here. We had to leave Dad. It wasn’t safe there anymore.” I whisper placing my head on his chest. I take in the woodsy smell of his cologne and I am home. It’s one of those smells that opens memories and makes you relive happy times. This one makes me think of being carried in his arms to my bed late at night after staying up too long playing video games. He would always kiss my forehead and tell me he loved me.

“I know, baby. I’ve been trying to get y’all out of there for so long. Daniel has to
o much power and they refused me custody of you guys.” He lets out a shaky breath and starts running his fingers through my hair.

“What happened? Why did you leave us to begin with?” I take a step back to look up into his brown eyes. Eyes exactly like
mine, which are hiding under my blue contacts.

“When you
r mother started sleeping with him, he tried to pay me off to just leave. I refused the money but I went through the divorce because I was never going to stay in a marriage where my wife isn’t faithful.” He pauses to drop his arms and grab my hand. He leads me over to a desk and waves for me to sit. “That’s when things got out of control and out of my hands. He made up some bullshit files that stated I was an unfit father and the courts wouldn’t let me near you and your brother. I tried for the past ten years, Kayla. I never stopped trying to be back in your lives. I wanted that more than anything.”

I grab his hand as he starts to sob. I squeeze as tight as I can. This all sounds like something Daniel would do. He is a sick bastard. “I
believe you Daddy. I do. Daniel put us through hell and back. I can imagine he did the same for you.”

He squeezes my hand harder and gets up, pulling me along. “Take me to Aiden. I have to see my boy.” Tears are still shining in his eyes but I know they are happy now. I can only hope Aiden will be happy to see him.

I help Dad lock up and we head over to Aiden’s apartment building. Which surprise is the same one Jaden lives in. I think that is how he knew about them. How he knew to point me in Jaden’s direction. And to stay away from Caden. I only wish he never had. My life would be a whole of a hell lot quieter and un-stressful.

I knock on the door and after a minute
it flies open and Aiden grabs Dad up in a hug. “Dad!” he exclaims as they get caught up in the moment. I look around to see if we are gathering attention from anyone, but the coast looks clear.

“Aiden. Aiden. Aiden.” Dad chants much the same way he did when he hugged me. I smile softly and start pulling them into
Aiden’s apartment.

They seem to talk
really fast and unintelligible after that. I chuckle to myself, heading into the kitchen to make us drinks. I could really use alcohol or hell even a joint but I have to settle for sweet tea. I didn’t even know people drank tea sweet until I moved here. I also thought it would be totally disgusting until Aiden forced me to drink it. Now I can’t get enough of it.

I bring out th
e tray of food while Aiden and Dad are in an argument about science or something. I might be a gaming nerd but I’m not an intelligent nerd. Schoolwork was never a strong point in my life. Though I have enough common sense to last me the rest of this life and the next.

“Kayla, who was the boy sitting
next to you in class?” Dad asks eyeing me over the top of his cup.

“
Most likely Jaden Harper. They’re this years ‘it’ couple.” Aiden tells me laughing at me with his eyes.

“No it was Caden Harper. I tried not to sit next to him. He refused to let me move to another seat.” I roll my eyes for affect but I can tell Aiden doesn’t believe me.

“Whatever you say sister dear.” And then the shit winks.

I knew something was up with Grace staring at Professor Carlton, so I put my stalker skills to use. I totally stayed after I walked out of the door of the classroom. I even pressed my ear against the door.
When I heard Grace call our professor Dad I about shit my pants. I don’t know about you, but I didn’t see that coming. Not in a million years.

I don’t exactly know what t
o do with this information. At Thanksgiving she told me she wasn’t who she said she was. I just didn’t realize she lied about a lot of things. The conversation she had with Professor Carlton makes it seem like she hadn’t seen him in years. I’m starting to wonder if there was ever an ex-boyfriend that made her life a living hell.