Wyne and Chocolate (Citizen Soldier Series Book 2) (21 page)

T
he next afternoon, Mason was stowing the canoe and oars he’d
taken out at dawn, unhappy he’d returned without a cleared head. He’d paddled
nearly the whole damn lake, but the exertion hadn’t kept his mind from drifting
to Jill. And her face yesterday. The way it lit up when she’d spotted him at
Timbers.

Could
someone fake that?

God, he
just didn’t know. She wore that expression toward him a lot. He’d never doubted
it before,
hell,
he used to thrill at it, but after seeing her kissing
another man…in the shop he’d helped finance—the shop he’d talked his brothers
into investing in…

He
clenched his teeth and the cracking of his jaw echoed in the wind. “Can’t
fucking believe I let it happen again.” And this time, it wasn’t only affecting
him; it was going to affect his family.

“Let
what happen?” Ethan asked from behind.

Mason
swung around and scowled. “Nothing.”

“Are you
talking about Jill? Surely you aren’t saying she cheated on you?”

“Exactly
what I’m saying.” He stomped out of the shed, walking anywhere his feet would
go.

“No
way,” his brother said, falling into step alongside him.

He
opened his mouth to relieve some of the ache of betrayal burning his gut. “I
saw her kissing the guy with my own eyes.”

“Then
you saw wrong.”

Okay,
not the support he’d been expecting.

“I
didn’t see wrong,” he insisted as they stopped near the gazebo his sister had
had built for weddings, had in fact, got married in herself. A symbol of love
and hope and pure emotions. The opposite of what he’d witnessed yesterday.
“Jill stood in the middle of her damn shop and kissed the guy on the lips.”

“Did you
ask her about it?”

Jesus,
what was wrong with his brother? “No. I’m not a fucking masochist.”

Ethan
laughed.

I’m
dying and he’s laughing.

“Mason,
trust me, Jill loves you whole-heartedly,” the idiot insisted. “I’ve seen the
way she looks at you. The way she lights up when you walk into the room. She
would
not
cheat on you. Would you cheat on her?”

“Fuck
no.” He always gave what he wanted in return. Honesty. Loyalty. Trust.

“Then
same goes for her, because you wear the same lovesick expression when she’s
near,” his brother said, cupping his shoulder. “Whatever reason she had for
that kiss, trust me, it was a good one.”

He
stilled. Could his brother be right?

Yes,
you idiot,
his mind insisted. In fact, it had insisted the same thing when
he’d witnessed her in the act. But, he’d pushed the voice aside, chalking it up
to wishful thinking.

Now, he
wasn’t so sure.

“Look, I
get that you’re jaded. Hell, I am, too,” Ethan said. “We have the right.”

Mason
understood. There had been rumors going around that his brother’s wife had been
seeing another, but she’d died in a skiing accident while they were deployed,
and for Tyler’s sake, his brother hadn’t bothered to find out the truth.

The guy
released him to shove his hands in his pockets. “Has Jill ever held anything
back from you?”

“Not
that I know of.”

His
brother rubbed the bridge of his nose with his thumb. “You do know you…ah…tend
to expect a lot. Utmost honesty. Which even a saint would fail.”

He
reeled back. “What the hell’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing,
except, sometimes you’re quick to judge.”

Bullshit.

“Jill
has always been upfront. The first one to help people. Never judges. Anyone can
see she is the real deal, and you are damn lucky to have her.”

Well,
hell
. He blew out a breath. Confusion swallowing up his hurt and betrayal.

Ethan
was right. Jill was all those things. She gave Teresa a chance despite the
woman’s lack of a high school diploma. Was good friends with Gwen and Lea, even
though she more than likely knew the history between the two sisters and Ben.
Had been a solid rock for him during Greg’s funeral.

Christ.
Had he jumped to the wrong conclusion? He didn’t see how. She’d kissed the guy
on the lips. How could he mistake that? What the hell could be a “good reason”
for something like that?

His
heart squeezed. Still…could he have made a mistake? He didn’t know. Hell, he’d
cut her off when she’d tried to explain. Called her Renee. The image of how
she’d flinched as if he’d hit her, and how the life had ebbed from her gaze
flashed through his mind.

He was
starting to see clearly.

Jill had
wanted to tell him something yesterday, besides the fact he was an ass. She
hadn’t been trying to make an excuse. He could see that now. Why the hell
hadn’t he seen it yesterday? She’d needed him.

And he’d
pushed her aside and let her down…like the other men in her life.

He
closed his eyes and blew out a long breath. “I need to kick my own ass.”

Sure, he
could blame it on the alcohol he’d consumed, but he knew, even without the
whiskey yesterday, he would’ve walked anyway. He’d been too hurt and confused
and angry.
Christ
. After vowing not to abandon her, he’d done just that.

“I’d be
happy to kick it for you,” Ethan offered.

Ignoring
his brother, he pulled out his phone and dialed her number. Mason had no idea
if she’d answer,
hell
, he didn’t deserve the chance to speak, but was
going to try. Had to try.

“Hello?”
A familiar male voice answered Jill’s phone. “Mason, it’s me, Jeremy.”

Jesus.
His heart hit his knees. “Jeremy? What the fuck are you doing with Jill’s
phone? Is she okay?”

“She
didn’t tell you?” his friend asked. His
cop
friend.

It felt
as if he was trying to drag air into his lungs through a blocked straw. Alarm
stiffened his spine, and the same alarm darkened Ethan’s eyes.

“Tell me
what?
”

Suddenly
he knew. Mason knew whatever the answer to that question was exactly what Jill
had been trying to tell him. But like an idiot, he hadn’t listened. Now, he
couldn’t breathe, and his mind reeled with horrible scenarios.

“Look,
man, I’m here at the resort. Meet me in the lobby,” his friend said, then hung
up.

Shit. He
shoved the phone back in his pocket as he sprinted toward the resort with Ethan
at his side. If anything had happened to Jill, he would never forgive himself.

By the
time they reached the lobby, he was out of breath and out of his mind with
worry.

“Whoa,
Jesus, man, slow down,” Jeremy said, straightening from the reservation desk
where he’d been chatting with one of the girls.

The guy
was in police uniform. That did not help Mason’s nerves. “Where’s Jill? Why do
you have her phone?” he asked, getting right in the cop’s face. He was tired of
asking and not getting answers.

His
friend stared at him a beat then stepped back. “Jill was fine when she left the
police station yesterday to find you. I don’t know where she is now.”

His
chest was so tight and ached so bad he thought his heart had caved through his
ribs. “Why was she at the station?”

His
friend grabbed his arm. “Let’s go to your security room and I’ll explain things
there.”

A
s daylight started to fade, Jill heard a vehicle screech to a
halt in the driveway, and recognized the sound of the boots that clapped off
the sidewalk and onto her porch.

Mason.

She knew
it was him before he started to knock and call her name.

“Jill,
open up. I’m sorry. I was an ass. I am an ass. Okay, I’m always going to
be
an ass, but I am sorry.”

His
voice was weary and anxious and her heart ached for him despite being shattered
into a million pieces.

“Come
on. I know you’re in there. Open up. Gwen told me she’d dropped you off.
Yesterday.”

He’d
been looking for her? Tracked her down?

Her
heart must’ve ruled her feet because they took her to the door, but her mind
apparently controlled her hands because they were shoved deep in her pockets
and didn’t open the lock.

“God,
I’m so sorry, Jill. I should’ve let you talk yesterday. I should’ve listened.”

She
nodded, closing her eyes, sending tears down her face.

“I don’t
have an excuse, other than being in shock from having witnessed you kissing
another guy. Blatantly in the middle of your shop. In the resort.”

She
sucked in a breath and opened her eyes. That had to have been so hard. She ached
at the thought of the pain she’d caused him. Then her head reminded her heart
that if he’d trusted her, or at least confronted her about it, he wouldn’t have
been in pain.

“Jeremy
stopped by. They caught your ex with the money, your car, your phone. He said
to drop by the station so he could return it all to you. And he said the
asshole did have some kind of flammable fluid on him. God, I’m sorry, Jill. So
damn sorry.”

Relief
wobbled through her knees, and she set her back against the door for support.

Donny
was caught. He could no longer hurt anyone. She was shaking, and silently
crying, and so happy she no longer had to carry that worry around. It was
probably what Jeremy had knocked on her door about a few hours ago. She hadn’t
had the energy or desire to get off the bed.

“Jill,
please open up. Please, let me hold you. Let me see for myself you’re okay.”

Twisting
around, she set her cheek and palms against the door, wanting so bad to let him
in, but she had let him into her heart already, and he still walked away.

Who was
to say he wouldn’t do it again?

Did she
believe he was sorry? Yes, with all her heart. Hell, she’d even already
forgiven him a few hours ago as she was curled in a ball on top of her bed, not
even answering Lea’s knocks. Or Ben’s. Or Gwen’s.

It had
been during this ‘down’ time that she’d also realized she could never trust him
to trust her…so there was no point in opening the door.

With
that thought in her head, she turned away from the man still pouring his heart
out to her on her porch, and walked straight into her bathroom. Unable to bear
to hear him, she closed the bathroom door, stripped and got into the shower,
then twisted the water on to drown it all out. Have another good cry. Okay, she
hadn’t really stopped since arriving home yesterday. She hated being weak,
acting weak, but her give-a-damn gene was AWOL at the moment. Her last
breakdown had been a good twelve years ago. She was allowed one a decade. This
was her overdue meltdown, and she planned to make it last the whole, damn
weekend.

She
loved Mason. Forgave Mason. And knew he loved her, even though he’d never
spoken the words. Neither had she. They were both gun-shy. Now it didn’t
matter. The hard truth was, they had no future. Not without trust. Jill knew
what she had to do tomorrow—call the New York company and accept their offer.

Without
access to a phone or internet, she’d have to wait until after the grand
reopening, when she could hitch a ride to her office in the mini factory where
she’d left her laptop. Relocating hadn’t been on her mind when she’d taken the
call yesterday morning. Funny how life could change so drastic in less than
twenty-four hours.

After
emerging from her self-pity shower and prolonged crying jag sixty-five minutes
later, she peeked out the window. Her driveway was empty. A twinge of
disappointment shot through her body, then she remembered Mason’s angry
expression and harsh laugh when he’d walked away from her in Timbers.

Left.

Abandoned.

Tomorrow,
she’d face the world. Mason. Everybody. She had no doubt Lea and Ben, and
probably Gwen would show up to give her a ride to the shop, and the police
station afterwards to collect her phone and car. None of it was a priority at
the moment.

Tonight,
she was allowing herself to wallow in self pity and misery, dammit.

M
ason hadn’t slept at all last night. His heart had been too
heavy. Heavy with anger at himself; remorse for not helping Jill when she’d
needed him, fury at Donny for what he’d put her through, and heavy with worry
over the sweet woman who deserved better than him. Better from him.

All the
while he’d been on her porch last night, he knew she’d been inside her house.
He’d felt her standing on the other side of the door, and at one point, he
thought she might open it. But she hadn’t. Still, she’d deserved his groveling.
Even planned to grovel some more today.

A
half-hour before the grand reopening of Confection Connection, he strode into
the kitchen for a cup of coffee, groaning inwardly that it was full of people.
He loved his family; he just wasn’t in the mood for badgering and advice. His
head was already pounding from lack of sleep.

“Guess
things didn’t go so well with Jill,” Lea observed, apologetic look in her eyes.
“She hadn’t let us in either. But she will. Give her time. She loves you. Fight
for her.”

He
swallowed coffee down his already hot throat and nodded. “Planned on it.”

Ben
smiled and slapped his back. “Good to hear. You want to pick her up this
morning? We can hang back. She needs a ride to the shop and would have to go
with you.”

The
prospect held merit, and for a moment, he did consider it, then his conscience
stepped in. “No. Thanks anyway. I think one ex strong-arming her this weekend
is enough.”

Lea
stepped close and touched his arm. “Listen, I don’t like to butt in, but there
is something I think you should know.”

He
stiffened, knowing this wasn’t good news.

“Gwen
told me Jill planned to relocate across the country.”

He
reeled back. “What?”

How?
Why?

“That
New York company called her yesterday. They want to open a big plant so her
candies can get into grocery stores, and want her to oversee things. In
Nevada.”

Shit.

He set
his mug on the counter and stared at the coffee sloshing over the brim. Exactly
what his emotions had just done to him—spilled over.

That was
her dream. How could he compete with that? Especially since he’d already proven
she couldn’t count on him?

Ben
cupped his shoulder and squeezed. “Good luck, man.” He turned to his fiancée.
“We’d better go get her.”

“Fight
for her,” Lea repeated before rushing from the room.

Mason
sat at the table, ignoring the looks both Ethan and Keiffer sent his way.
Although he was happy his youngest brother was out of his apartment and
actually eating a meal, the guy had done little of both lately, Mason just wasn’t
up to hearing what a jerk he’d been. He knew. A big one. One that didn’t
deserve squat from the woman.

“We’re
rooting for you, Mase,” Keiffer said quietly.

The
rapid change in his younger brother was a grave cause for concern. Keif had
never been quiet. Or a homebody. He’d lost weight. Even announced last week
that he was giving up the Guard. Not re-upping his commitment when his contract
ran out next month. Mason wasn’t the only one worried about all the changes.
They all were. And hoped it wasn’t a downward spiral.

“You
going to beg for forgiveness while the television station is there this
morning?” Ethan asked. “Women like it when you grovel in public.”

“Maybe.
Not sure it’ll work. I’ve been an ass.”

Ethan
snickered. “No argument from me.”

Even Keiffer’s
lip twitched. “She’s good for you. And you’re good for her.”

Mason
nodded, but those words weighed heavy on his heart as he drove to town. How
could he be good for her if he’d hurt her?

Pulling
into the armory parking lot, since cars had lined the streets on both sides, he
walked the two blocks to Jill’s shop, happy to see such outpouring of support
from the community directed toward the sweet woman.

Purposely
hanging back, not wanting to interfere in her Grand Opening plans, Mason had
delayed his arrival by a half-hour. Waiting outside. Wanting to be by her side,
but knowing he’d forfeited that right the second he wouldn’t listen to her
explanation.

Stepping
inside the shop, he remained near the door, staying out of the way as he
glanced around. He had to hand it to Ryder, the place looked exactly as it had
before her asshole ex-husband torched the place. Brown and light blue met the
eye, along with displays of chocolate that made his mouth water. The cases and
counters stood in the same spots, gleaming invitingly as they showcased her
scrumptious treats.

He
missed her scrumptious treats. Bad.

The
image of Jill dancing while cleaning a display case exactly like the ones in
front of him flashed through his mind and made him smile.

He
watched
Fireball
handle the crowd of well-wishers and reporters all
asking a myriad of questions about her shop, chocolate making, and her personal
life, with the ease and grace of a woman happy with her life. He knew better.

Jill
stood behind the counter, alone, looking beautiful in a pretty, light blue
dress gracing her curves, and ready smile on her face. One that didn’t quite
reach her eyes, didn’t have that high-voltage impact he missed so much.

Friendly
and cracking jokes, she took it all in her stride. She had strangers fooled,
but he got the impression she didn’t want to be there. Wanted to be a million
miles away, but stepped up to the plate and did her duty. Alone.

His gut
clenched, and he called himself all kinds of an idiot for putting the sad in
her eyes. For not trusting her. For taking the fun out of her special day. He’d
failed her. Just like all the other men in her life. God, he wanted the chance
to make it up to the woman who deserved the world.

As soon
as the reporters and some of the gawking crowd finally disappeared, he slowly
made his way up front. Lea and Gwen were enjoying some sort of chocolate cake,
while Ben held a conversation with Ryder as the two guys ate ice cream. The
moment Jill saw him, she stilled, but quickly recovered, keeping her smile in
place. The kind that didn’t reach the eyes.

That
wouldn’t do. Neither would their distance. Not anymore. Not ever again.

Walking
right passed them, he headed behind the counter until he stood in front of the
woman who held his heart.

“I’m
sorry, Jill,” he said, uncaring that others were within earshot. He’d stayed
quiet long enough. The time to grovel had arrived. “I should’ve believed you
and never doubted you. God knows you deserve better, but I promise, if you give
me another chance, it won’t happen again.”

Jill’s
heart was hammering so loud she could barely hear what Mason was saying. In
fact, the whole shop kind of faded away as her pulse blared louder in her ears
than the radio on in the background.

He
reached for her hands and held tight. “I screwed up. I did the very thing I
swore to you I wouldn’t. I abandoned you. That will never happen again, Jill. I
promise.”

Hope
fluttered in chest, but mistrust reined it in. She wanted to trust him, and did
believe he meant what he said. But how could anyone promise such a thing?

He
squeezed her hands. “I’m sorry, so damn sorry I didn’t listen to you. Didn’t
let you talk when you tried to talk. I was hurt, drawing on that old betrayal,
and angry that I fell for another woman who used me.”

“I
didn’t use you,” she whispered.

“I
know,” he said, releasing her hands to cup her face, gaze fierce and
determined. “But at first, all the old hurts returned and I had to sort through
them to see clearly. And I do, Jill. I see
you
, and how you’ve done
nothing but give, and trust, and open up. You never hid anything. Ever. Thank
you for that.”

Swallowing
past a hot throat, she nodded, body shaking with all the emotions the man
always drew out of her.

“I hope
you’re taking notes, Ryder,” Gwen said to her brother. “He’s good.”

Jill
agreed, but she still hesitated to hope. Couldn’t bear it if…

“I love
how you don’t judge,” Mason continued, setting his forehead to hers. “Give
people chances. Take chances. Dance when you think no one is watching…
Fireball
.”

She
choked out a half-laugh, half-sob.

He
dropped his hands to her shoulders, then trailed his fingers down her arms
until he was holding her hands again. “You help unconditionally,” he said. “Go
above and beyond.”

Actually,
he
did all those things. It was one of the things she loved most about
him.

“Well,
it’s time I went above and beyond for you, Jill. Fought for you. Prove I mean
every damn word.”

“But
how?” She blinked at him. Hoping. Really wanting him to come up with the right
thing to say. She had no idea what it could be that would make her believe he’d
always trust her and never doubt her loyalty.

She knew
he didn’t lie, and that he thought he meant every word. But, she needed proof.
Her life had been one big failure in putting her trust in the wrong guy.

“I know
about your job offer,” he said. “I’m willing to go with you. To sling burgers
if I have to.”

The
image of him in a fast food uniform made her smile.

“I won’t
abandon you ever again, Jill Bailey. You mean everything to me. God…” he closed
his eyes and shuddered, then reopened them. “When I finally came to my senses
and called you to beg for your forgiveness, and Jeremy answered the phone…I
swear my heart stopped.”

She
stilled and all his words sunk in. Especially the phone call part. “You called
me?”

“Yes.”

Forcing
air into her lungs, she blinked. “Before you knew about Donny?”

“Yes,”
he repeated, frown wrinkling his brow.

That was
it. Her proof. Tears filled her eyes and spilled down her face. “You called me,
Mason. Before you knew what had really happened. Before you knew the whole
truth.”

He
nodded, and she could tell he wasn’t sure what she was getting at but liked the
look in her eyes.

She
tugged her hands free, and this time, she cupped his face. “You believed in me.
You took a chance, listened to your heart or your gut.”

“Both,”
he said.

“You
trusted in me, even though you saw what you saw.”

“Yes,”
he said, wrapping his arms around her, holding her tight, like maybe he didn’t
want to let her go. “Yes. I should’ve done that from the start, and you have no
idea, Jill, no damn idea how sorry I am that I hadn’t. But I did come to my
senses the next day. I think the whiskey may have delayed that revelation.”

She set
her forehead to his chin and choked out another laugh. “Could be.” Then she
drew back and stared into his open, needy gaze. “I’m just glad you did before
you talked to Jeremy, because that meant you do trust me.”

He
tightened his hold. “I do. I trust you with my life. And I love you. So much.”

A
collective sigh echoed through the shop, reminding her they weren’t alone. She
didn’t care about their audience. Only cared about the man who held her heart
in his hand. The man she just discovered had her back. Wanted to be with her no
matter what. Loved her.

He loved
her.

“I love
you, too, Mason.” Tears spilled down her face again.

With a
low growl, he hauled her close and held her tight. She sighed and melted into
his hard strength, reveling at the feel of his heart beating strong and sure in
his chest. This was where she belonged. Where she wanted to stay.

“I don’t
want to leave the Poconos,” she told him. “I have everything I could possibly
ever need or want right here.”

“What
about your dream?” he asked, drawing back to stare down at her. “Getting your
chocolate worldwide?”

She slid
her palms over his shoulders and down to his chest. “
You
are my dream,
Mason Wyne. You and the way you want me.”

“Very
much.” He brushed a thumb over her jaw.

“Need
me.”

His head
lowered and repeated, “Very much.”

She felt
her throat tightened. “Love me.”

“So damn
much.”

Then he
was kissing her with everything he had, everything he meant, everything he
felt, and she happily returned each emotion, her body coming back to life, her
shattered heart suddenly whole and beating rapidly. He drew back just enough to
lightly brush his lips across hers one more time, as if he was afraid to break
the connection. As if she was his lifeline.

He
certainly was hers.

A round
of applause met her ears and her heart kept the pace.

“You
know what I discovered goes perfect with Wyne?” she asked.

A mischievous
grin tugged his lips as his hands travelled down to rest at her waist. “What?”

She
smiled. “Chocolate. Wyne and chocolate. Best thing I ever tasted.”