xanth 40 - isis orb (6 page)

He looked around. There was a path ahead of him that he hadn’t seen before. The one that would lead him to the cat.

Hapless sighed and closed the box, returning it to his backpack. He set off down the path. After a few steps he paused and turned to look back at the castle. It was there, but then he noticed something else: the path wasn’t. There were trees and brush between him and the castle, no path and no sign that one had ever been there. How could that be?

Oh—it was a one-way path. He had heard of them. Just to be sure, he faced backwards and stepped along it. Sure enough, it faded out the moment his feet left it.

He paused again, considering. Did this mean that if he accidentally stepped off the path, it would vanish and he would be hopelessly lost? He hoped not. Then he thought of a way to test it, maybe. He took off his pack, with the box inside, and set it on the ground. Then he walked away from it. The path remained, with the pack at the near end of it. It was the box that shut it down, not Hapless himself. That was oddly reassuring. It meant he could anchor the path in place, if for some reason he had to leave it for a while. But he didn’t plan to risk it. He might not be eager to have a cat as a Companion, but he didn’t want to get lost looking for it.

He put the pack back on and resumed his walk. He didn’t know how long a hike he had, so it seemed best not to waste time.

He admired the scenery as he traversed it: forests, fields, hills, dales, thickets, thinnits. It curved serenely around steep slopes, and found fords across streams. It was an easy path to travel.

Then it passed through a patch of dog fennel. Immediately the guardian dogs appeared, barking. One was a cute little hush puppy, wagging its tail. But they did not get on the path. It passed though a section of cattails, and the tails switched back and forth angrily, but again did not overlap the path. So it really was enchanted to protect him.

A butterfly came to land on his upraised hand. It consisted of a quarter pound of butter, with yellow wings. But there was something special about it. “Who are you?” he asked it.

“Don’t you recognize me?” it asked in return. “I am not just any butterfly. I am the Chaos Butterfly.”

“Chaos?” he asked blankly.

“When I flap my wings, a storm can form far away. It’s an awesome power.”

“That is impressive,” he agreed, not quite believing it.

“Well, it’s true.” The butterfly took off and flew away.

Then he spied a bird coming in to perch on a rock on the path. It had to be harmless, like the butterfly, or it would not have been able to do so. “Who are you?” Hapless asked. “Do you have some awesome power?”

“I do indeed,” the bird replied proudly. “I am the Tern of Events. Things can change significantly around me. Several villages are named after me.”

“Oh, I see,” he said, not really seeing. “Can you demonstrate?”

“Not to you. You are locked onto your path.”

Ouch! Was he back inside the box, this time in the form of a path? “Well, I have a Quest to handle, and the path will lead me to it.”

“So you say,” the tern said, and took off.

Disgruntled, Hapless walked on. Before long he came to a glade where a shapely young woman stood. Her hair was striped appealingly blue and white. The path led to her and stopped.

How could that be? He had not yet found the feline. “Excuse me, miss,” he said. “Have you seen a cat around here?”

She turned a sultry gaze on him. “No.”

“Then something is wrong. This path was supposed to lead me to a cat.”

“What do you want with a cat?”

“It’s not what I want. It’s what I’m supposed to find. I really don’t care for cats.”

“You’re not making much sense. Why look for a cat if you don’t like cats?”

“It’s complicated,” he said, nettled. He didn’t like a disparaging glance from a pretty girl any more than he liked it from a butterfly or bird. Where could that cat be?

“Explain it, please.”

“Why should you be interested?”

“Trust me: I’m interested. Answer the question.”

Well, she had asked for it. “I am on a Quest for the Good Magician. He gave me a box containing what I need, even if I don’t much want it. The box contained a picture of a cat with the word FELINE. It opened up a path to lead me to that cat. Instead it seems to have led me to you. Is the cat your pet?”

“No.”

“Do you have it hidden away somewhere, like maybe in a bag? If so, would you please let it out.”

She contemplated him disquietingly. It was as if she knew something he did not, such as the whereabouts of the cat. “Tell me more about this Quest. Why did you seek it?”

“Well, my talent is to conjure musical instruments, but I can’t play any of them. It’s frustrating. So if I succeed in the Quest, I’ll find my instrument.”

“And what is this Quest?”

“I have to find the Isis Orb and use it to grant my wish. To do that I need to find five Companions, and five Totems needed to control the Orb. It’s complicated, as I said.”

“And what do these Companions get out of it?”

“They’ll get their own wishes granted by the Orb. So it’s a group effort.”

“And I’m standing in your way.”

“As long as you don’t tell me where that cat is, yes. I just want to find the cat and get on with the Quest.”

She turned slowly, and her curves turned with her. “What do you think of me?”

“You’re beautiful, including your pretty striped hair. I’d love to have a girlfriend like you. But I’m pretty sure you’re not interested. So will you quit teasing me and tell me: where is the cat?”

“All you care about is my curves?”

“That’s all I know of you!”

“And suppose I want someone to care about something other than my curves?”

He was getting fed up. “Then maybe you should find your own Quest, instead of interfering with mine.”

“I am not interfering.”

“That’s what you say. Why don’t you just go away?”

“I can’t do that.”

He was exasperated. “Where is that cat?”

“Watch me.”

“I’m watching.” Indeed, she was not at all hard to watch. She could probably freak out a man without ever flashing panties, if she tried.

She started changing. She seemed to melt down into a four footed animal with a tail. It had blue and white stripes.

“Oh, my,” he breathed. It was the cat.
She
was the cat. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

The cat silently stalked off.

Bleep! He hurried after it. After
her
. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. I simply had no idea.”

The cat reached a nearby tree trunk and quickly climbed it. She lay on a branch just out of his reach and gazed down at him.

He had had enough of this. “Listen to me, Feline, if that’s your name. I gave you a reason for my tackling this Quest, but that’s not the whole story. The Good Magician
asked
me to take it, and finding a musical instrument is only part of it. Another part is that it seems I am the key to helping five other people accomplish their own wishes. Without the Quest they won’t get what they want either. One of them is you. So whatever it is you want, you won’t get it unless you cooperate and help me get the Orb. But if you don’t care about that, okay, I’ll go look for the next Companion and leave you out of it. I’m not going to mess with you. So get with it or get out; it’s your choice.”

The cat continued to stare at him.

“As you wish.” He turned and stalked away from the tree.

“You win.”

He turned back. There was the woman. He realized that she was fully clothed; the transformation seemed to cover that. “So what is it that you want that the Orb might grant?”

She smiled, looking dangerously pretty in the process. “This is ironic. I want to be loved for something other than my curves.”

Hapless was amazed. “For something else? But you’ve got them. Why not use them? I’m sure you can catch the eye of any man you want to.”

“I can. That’s the point. There’s a lot more to me than my curves. I want some of the rest to be recognized. A man who sees only curves is too shallow to bother with.”

“That’s all
I’m
seeing of you.”

She merely looked at him. Bleep! He had just defined himself as hopelessly shallow. He laughed ruefully. “Got me there. I apologize.”

“Let’s get on with the Quest,” she said. “The day is late. We’d better make camp, and look for the next Companion in the morning.”

He looked around. The protected path had vanished, and he wasn’t ready to start the next one. “There doesn’t seem to be much here, and it’s an exposed glade; we’ll be in danger if we sleep here.”

“
You’ll
be in danger. I’ll sleep high in a tree.”

“Oh. Of course.”

“You don’t know what to do, do you?”

“I guess not. I hadn’t planned this far ahead. I’ve lived in a village all my life. Never spent a night in the wilderness.”

“You’re not much of a man.”

Was she trying to nettle him? “Not much,” he agreed.

“And you’re supposed to lead a Quest?”

“It wasn’t my idea.”

“The Good Magician enlisted you, you said. You must have some quality he respects. What is it?”

“I understand he said I have gumption.”

She considered. “Maybe you do. You walked away from me.”

He was surprised. “You respect that?”

“Yes. No man who has seen my curves ever just walked away. I had to change forms to get rid of them.”

“Gumption,” he repeated. “Well, that and a tame ogre will keep me safe at night, and I don’t have an ogre.” He thought of something else. “And you did change forms, so maybe it doesn’t count.”

She pondered briefly. “If you’re supposed to lead this Quest, and I need the Quest to achieve my wish, and I’m supposed to be your Companion, then I guess it’s up to me to keep you safe, if you get eaten by something during the night, the Quest will fade away.”

“You don’t have to do anything for me,” he snapped. “I’ll figure something out.”

“There’s that gumption again. You’re going to go your own way, and damn the torpedoes.” She smiled briefly. “Not that I have any idea what a torpedo is. But at the moment it’s foolish. You need to do something to ensure your comfort and safety, and you’re not getting it done.”

“If you’re quite through embarrassing me, what do you have in mind?”

She smiled again; it seemed to be becoming a habit. “I doubt I’m through doing that. There must be something you can do, if only we can think of it. Otherwise the Good Magician would not have entrusted you with the Quest.”

“I suppose.”

“Maybe your talent relates. You conjure musical instruments?”

“Yes. But I can’t play them, so it’s not worth much.”

“I wonder. I’ve always wanted to play the kit, because it sounds like my nature, but never had one to practice with. Can you conjure me one?”

“What’s a kit?”

“It’s a very small violin, easy to carry around.”

“Oh.” Hapless focused. The kit appeared in his hand, together with its bow. “Here.”

“Lovely.” She took it, put the base of it to her chin, and stroked the bow across the strings. A perfect note sounded.

She paused, surprised. Then she launched into a tune. It was perfectly rendered and quite evocative. She really could play!

When the song ended, she shook her head. “This must be a magic instrument. I’ve had no practice; I know I can’t play this well on my own.”

“My instruments do play well,” he agreed. “Except when I try them. Then they reek. It’s maddening.”

“Can you conjure another kit?”

He shrugged and conjured another. Now there were two.

“Try playing it.”

He grimaced, then put bow to string. A gut-wrenchingly sour note sounded.

Feline winced. “I see what you mean. That is world-class discordance. You have no musical talent.”

“Yes. Only musical ambition. If I can only find the right instrument for me, then as you say, they are magic, and it would play well for me. I’ve tried everything I can think of, but the result is always awful.”

“Maybe that one is cursed. Let’s exchange instruments.”

They exchanged, but it didn’t change the music: she played beautifully, and he played abysmally.

“Well, now we know,” she said. “It seems the same instruments that are enchanted to play well for others, are enchanted to play ill for you. I appreciate your frustration.”

“Yes,” he agreed shortly. “So what does this have to do with my being safe for the night?”

“I had thought maybe music soothes the savage beast.”

“That’s breast, not beast. Everybody gets it wrong.”

“I apologize. It’s clear that you won’t be soothing any breasts or beasts with your music.” Then a bulb flashed over her head. “But maybe that’s your answer: when a beast comes, play for it.”

“Play for it? Why? So it will feel better about destroying me?”

“To drive it away. No creature could stand to listen to you long. Maybe that’s your real talent: to drive away beasts.”

He stared at her. “I never thought of that!”

“So maybe that’s my contribution: to think of something. Now let’s find something to eat and drink, before it gets too dark. And maybe something to make a tent.”

“But you’re going to sleep in a tree, as a cat.”

“Maybe.” She gestured to one side of the glade. “On my way here I crossed a streamlet. A pie plant grew beside it, and a blanket bush. Those should do nicely.”

“You knew this, but you didn’t tell me?”

”You didn’t ask.” She walked in that direction.

He followed her, unable to avoid admiring her curves in motion despite his annoyance with her attitude.

“You’re looking,” she said without turning her head.

How did women always know? “Yes.”

“Men do. I’d have to wear a poncho to stop them. It’s annoying.”

“So the Orb will point you to a man who doesn’t look.”

“Oh, I don’t want that.”

“You don’t? I thought—”

“I want a man who appreciates me for something other than my curves. He can appreciate my curves too, as long as that’s not the only thing.”

“That does make sense.”

They came to the streamlet, which was exactly as she had described. They drank the water, harvested pies, and pitched a small tent made from blankets. Feline nibbled a chunk of cheese she had harvested. “Hoo!” she exclaimed. “That’s really sharp.”