Yellowstone Romance Series - Bundle (# 2-5) (80 page)

Danica opened the door and headed into the main room, feeling oddly self-conscious all of a sudden. She must look like a common saloon whore, traipsing around in her undergarments. She shrugged it off. Josh had seen her in far less clothing than what she wore now.

He stood facing the window, the sun shimmering brightly through the glass. It was almost painful to look out at the landscape with the sun’s rays reflecting off of the stark white snow. Josh’s arms swayed gently back and forth as he held Dawn to his chest. Danica bit her lower lip, and blinked back the sting of tears in her eyes.

“I’m finished,” she said, walking fully into the room. The smell of fried meat wafted to her nose, and her stomach loudly reminded her that she hadn’t eaten since the day before.

Josh turned slowly, one eyebrow cocked as he assessed her appearance.

“Not a word, Josh Osborne,” Danica warned, and wagged a finger at him. “It’s all I have to wear at the moment. I’m afraid I’m not ready to fit into any of my dresses yet.”

Josh grinned. “What you got on looks fine to me.”

Heat crept up her neck and into her cheeks, making her feel uncomfortably warm all of a sudden. Josh hadn’t taken his eyes off her. She hadn’t bothered pulling out her mirror earlier, but she could only imagine what she must look like.

Danica cleared her throat. “Well, thank you for holding Dawn for me. I’ll take her back now.”

“Dawn?” Josh gazed at the baby.

“It’s what I’ve decided to name her,” Danica said.

“It suits her,” Josh said. He made no move to hand the baby back. Danica was at his side, peering at her sleeping daughter nestled against him. She reached up, ready to take her baby back.

“Dani, I’ve got her.” He frowned, and motioned with his head toward the hearth. “There’s pheasant in the skillet. You need to eat, too, or you won’t have milk to feed your daughter.”

“Are you sure? I mean, you’ve done so much already. I don’t want to be a burden, and –”

“You talk too much, woman. Now hush and go eat.” Josh reached out and nudged her toward the hearth.

Danica did as she was told. She forked food onto a plate, lowered herself into a chair at the table, and broke off a piece of meat. After a few bites, she realized how famished she was. Josh sat down across from her, still gently rocking the baby. Her lips and eyelids twitched every so often, but she was contently asleep in as if she was meant to be in his arms.

“What happened after the raid, Dani?” Josh suddenly broke the silence. She’d just taken a bite of meat, and coughed when he asked the unexpected question. Danica glanced at her daughter. Slowly, she raised her head to meet Josh’s eyes. His gaze was on her, dark and unreadable.

Danica chewed what was in her mouth, and swallowed. She inhaled a deep breath. She knew someday she would have to relive the events of last summer, and it seemed that the moment had arrived.

Chapter 15

Danica stared at Josh from across the table. She didn’t know where to begin. What had prompted his sudden, unexpected question? She looked at the sleeping baby in his arms. Her rosy skin contrasted sharply with the bronze tone of his hands.

“Did you think one of the warriors who took me fathered my child?” she asked softly.

“The thought has crossed my mind,” he said, his eyebrows drawn together. “A lot of things have crossed my mind.” His stare didn’t waver. “Did you know the man who -”

“No,” Danica sniggered. She dragged pieces of meat around her plate with her fork, and let her mind wander back to the day that had set the events in motion that had changed her life forever.

 ”Maddie was unconscious when those warriors took us back to their camp. She’d become so hysterical with fear, one of them hit her, and she passed out. I went with them willingly so I could stay with her.”

Josh’s features softened, and a hint of that same look of admiration as before entered his eyes.

“There was a lot of arguing at the Indian camp. The rest of the tribe was obviously not happy that the raiders had brought captives along.”

Josh nodded. “The Nez Perce are a peaceful people. The anger of some of the younger warriors was a result of the government making promises to them they didn’t keep.”

“When Maddie regained consciousness, she refused to believe we would not be harmed. Watching her family try and fight off the raiders . . . it was too much for her.” Danica shuddered at the memory. Maddie had always been a bit weak-minded and fragile. “I couldn’t get her to think rationally. The camp was set up near a steep cliff. She bolted, and . . . and threw herself over. I couldn’t stop her.” Danica covered her face with her hands, and sobbed quietly.

 Josh’s warm hand folded over one of hers, and he pulled it away from her face. With Dawn cradled safely in the crook of his left arm, sleeping contently, he sat next to Danica, holding her hand. He gave it a gentle squeeze.

Danica sniffed. “Over the next several days, the tribe was on the move. I thought about trying to run, but we were out in the middle of nowhere. For the time being, I felt safer among other people than trying to find my way out of the wilderness on my own.  A few of the Indians spoke English, and they assured me I would be released soon. They all acted very friendly, so I believed them.”

“How long were you with them?” Josh asked.

“At least a week,” Danica shrugged. “One afternoon, I was told a cavalry patrol was close by, and that I was free to go.” Josh’s grip on her hand tightened. She held his dark gaze. “It was the worst decision of my life, to think I would be safest amongst my own people,” she hissed.

Josh tensed. Anger filled his eyes, and his mouth was drawn in a tight line. The muscles along his jaw clenched.  “A cavalry soldier  . . . violated you?” His words were harsh and clipped.

Danica nodded solemnly, and stared at the knots in the aged wood of the table. She didn’t want to think about what followed after she left the Indian camp. She’d all but buried the memories, but she owed Josh the truth.

The troop of seven soldiers had seemed rather surprised to see a white woman emerge from the woods. They had taken her into their midst, and asked the obvious questions. Apparently, they had been tracking the Indians she’d been with, and were sent ahead by their commanding officer.

The lieutenant in charge of the detail had looked at her with keen interest from the moment she’d walked into their camp. Danica was used to turning men’s heads. She’d had her share of suitors over the years, some more determined than others, but none had ever sparked a serious interest from her. If she had to, she probably couldn’t recall most of them now. Lieutenant Jonathan Douglas was one man’s face she would never forget.

A woman couldn’t very well go on patrol with them while they followed the Nez Perce. The men had conversed in hushed tones, and decided that Lieutenant Douglas would return her to Virginia City while the rest of the patrol carried out their orders. Danica hadn’t been too happy about their decision to send her off with only him, but what choice did she have? She was in the middle of the wilderness, and had no idea how to get back to civilization.

“Don’t you worry none, Miss Jensen. I’ll have you back home in no time. It’s my pleasure to escort a lovely lady such as yourself out of these God forsaken mountains.”

Danica paused in her tale. Josh hadn’t taken his eyes off her. She gazed at her daughter. The baby slept peacefully nestled in the crook of his arm.
Dawn wouldn’t be here now if not for all that has happened.
Now that her baby was born, would she have altered the past if she could? Danica couldn’t answer the question in her mind.

“Needless to say, he never took me to Virginia City.” Danica’s voice cracked. “He was nice enough when we camped in the open the first night. By the next day, I knew we were heading in the wrong direction. He kept telling me I was mistaken. By evening, we came upon an old trapper’s cabin. Strangely, he seemed to be familiar with it.”

Danica pulled her hand from underneath Josh’s, and stood. She wrapped her arms around her middle and stared into the fire.

“That night . . . was the first time –”

Josh’s hand on her shoulder stopped her from saying more. She wheeled around to face him, her vision blurred. “He kept me tied up for days. The first chance I got, after . . . he carelessly left his gun within reach one morning. I shot him and ran.”

Dawn stirred in Josh’s arms, and her soft cries quickly turned into loud wails. Danica sniffed, glad for the interruption. She reached for her daughter.

“Let me take her.”

Josh wordlessly handed the baby to her, and Danica hurried for her bedroom.

****

Josh stared after her. He wanted to lash out and hit something, or someone. Rage such as he’d never experienced consumed him. If Dani hadn’t killed her attacker, the urge to head out this very moment and go after the man himself consumed him like a wildfire burning out of control. He ran his hand through his hair, listening to the baby’s cries, which drowned out Dani’s soft voice. Moments later, the crying ceased. The vision of Dani on the bed, with her child at her breast entered his mind, and his tense muscles relaxed. He’d walked in on her earlier, and the scene roused feelings such as he’d never experienced. A strong need to protect mother and child had taken hold in him, along with an emotion more powerful than anything he’d felt before. Josh refused to give it a name.

“Dani, I have things to tend to in the barn,” he called out to her.

“Okay,” she answered.

Josh’s lips curved in a slight smile. He grabbed his buffalo robe, and headed out into the frigid morning air. He needed to keep his mind and hands busy. He walked briskly through the snow, following the path he’d created earlier. The soft nickers of horses greeted him when he entered the barn. After tossing more hay to the animals, he picked up the large block of wood he’d begun working on. Little had he known yesterday that he would have need for the finished product so soon.

As Josh worked the wood with his ax, his mind drifted to the events of the night before. He had gone against every deep-seated Shoshone tradition when it came to family duties. Although he’d been raised mainly in the white man’s world, his father had always encouraged him to learn about his Shoshone roots. Growing up, he’d spent many months with his mother’s relatives each year, learning their customs and traditions.

He shook his head. Birthing babies was left to midwives. Husbands were never allowed near their wives or newborns. A husband would celebrate the birth of his child by giving gifts to the other members of the clan, mostly in the form of food. But it was unheard of that a man was in the village, let alone present, at the birth of his child. 

Danica was a remarkable woman. The things she had endured would drive many women to take their lives, or withdraw into their own minds forever. She seemed to have grown stronger from it.  Her courage to carry a child created from the worst act of violence against a woman, and her struggles to bring this new life into the world left him with a sense of awe and wonder.

Josh’s mind wandered into uncharted territory. He suddenly saw himself as a husband to Dani, and a father to her little daughter.  Would Dani accept him as her husband? How would she feel about a permanent marriage to a half-breed? They had been forced together by her deranged father, and she seemed eager to get the marriage annulled.

He had assumed, and admittedly even hoped, that the baby was of mixed blood. Then it would have been easier suggesting to Dani that she should remain married to him. With a white child, she could simply claim she was widowed. No one would need to know any different.

Josh shook his head and scoffed. That baby looked nothing like him. Everyone would know he couldn’t possibly be her father. 
You’re the one who helped her mother give birth. You’re the first person who held her when she was born. You may as well be her father.

A sudden wave of possessiveness took hold in him.
Dawn’s true father was dead. She wouldn’t have to be labeled a bastard child. She would have Josh’s last name. Dare he suggest to Dani that they should remain married, for the baby’s sake? Could Dani endure the stigma of a white woman married to a half-breed? Would she even want to? Josh laughed out loud. If anyone had suggested to him, as early as several weeks ago, that he would want to be married to a white woman and be a father to her white baby, he would have declared the person mentally incompetent.

Josh set his work aside and stretched. Several hours had passed, and he was making good progress on the crib he intended to present to Dani later today. He stood from his seat on an overturned water bucket, and headed for the barn door. Suddenly, he couldn’t get back to the cabin fast enough. He hadn’t seen Dani or the baby all morning. Josh realized what it all meant, but he wasn’t ready to fully give in to his feelings. Not until he talked to Dani, and gauge her thoughts on making their marriage permanent.

The moment he stepped out of the barn, Dawn’s faint cries from inside the cabin reached his ears. He lengthened his strides.  The baby’s continued wails disturbed him, and the sounds intensified as he approached the cabin. He threw the door open. Dani paced the floor in front of the hearth, rocking Dawn in her arms. Dani’s head shot up when he walked in, a frantic look on her tear-soaked face. The dark circles under her blood-shot eyes stood out against her creamy white skin.

“She won’t stop crying,” Dani sobbed, desperation in her voice. “She won’t nurse. I’ve changed her soiled linens. She just keeps crying.”

Josh pulled his buffalo robe off, and rubbed his cold hands together to warm them. Silently, he reached for the baby. Her hands trembling, Dani handed the infant over willingly. He cradled the flailing bundle in his arm, holding her close to his chest. A deep sense of warmth and peace enveloped him, even amidst the ear shattering high-pitched screams of the baby. How could something so little make so much noise?

“What’s wrong with her, Josh?” Dani stood by his side, one hand at her mouth, biting at her nails.

Josh gently rocked the baby, whispering soothing words of love and encouragement to her in his mother’s tongue. He adjusted the bundle to his other arm to relieve the dull ache in his healing shoulder. Dawn’s little body quivered, and then her cries grew softer, until they stopped altogether. She emitted soft baby noises as her features relaxed. Slowly, she drifted off to sleep, her tiny hands curled into little fists on her chest.

Josh raised his head from watching the precious infant in his arms. His eyes met Dani’s. Utter despair and disbelief was written all over her face. Quickly, she turned away from him, her shoulders slumped as she buried her face in her hands.

“I’m a complete failure as a mother,” she moaned. Her back trembled and she hung her head.  Josh put a hand on her sagging shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.

‘These things take time,” he said quietly, for lack of something better to say.

Dani turned to him and scoffed. “It seems to come natural to you, and . . . and you’re not even her father.”  She pulled away from him and dashed past him into her bedroom. Josh inhaled a deep breath, and followed her. She couldn’t fall apart now, not after everything she’d already dealt with.