Yellowstone Romance Series - Bundle (# 2-5) (79 page)

Dani suddenly gripped the pole as her body went rigid. A loud cry escaped her lips that tore Josh’s heart in two. She bore down and pushed. Josh pulled a blanket from his shoulder, and scooted around her to face her. His limbs had never been this unsteady. Before he knew it, Dani’s baby slipped into his waiting hands. It all happened so quick, he had no time to think. All he could do was react. Dani emitted a grunt of relief, and slumped fully to the ground.

Josh stared at the tiny human being in hands. Without thinking about his actions, he wiped at the infants nose and mouth, and rubbed the tiny body to stimulate the child to take a breath. With a loud wail and quivering mouth, the baby breathed. Josh smiled and continued to rub at the infant, then pulled his knife from his belt and sliced quickly through the umbilical chord, tying the end in a knot.

“Josh,” Dani’s weak voice reached his ears over the child’s loud protests. “How is he?”

Josh grinned widely, his eyes on the little bundle in his hands. He quickly wrapped the tiny body in the blanket, then raised his head to look at Dani.

“How’s my son, Josh? Is everything all right?” Dani tried to raise herself from the ground, but Josh’s hand shot out to keep her lying on the fur.

“Everything’s fine, Dani,” he said quietly. “Stay where you are. There’s only one problem that I can see.” Carefully, cradling the infant in the crook of one arm, he scooted to Dani’s side.

“What’s wrong, Josh?” Her voice was filled with panic.

Josh slipped his arm behind her shoulders and helped her raise up slightly. He scooted up close to her so she could lean against him. He held the now quiet bundle up to her, and she anxiously reached for her baby.

“Your son . . . your son is a daughter,” Josh said, and laid the baby in her mother’s waiting arms.

Dani stared down at the infant, a wide smile on her face. “A girl,” she whispered. “I was so sure you’d be a boy, with your feistiness while you were in my belly.”

Josh swiped some of Dani’s limp hair from her face, and leaned forward, staring down at the baby over Dani’s shoulder. “Feisty, just like her mother,” he whispered, and he turned toward her at the same time Dani turned her head to look up at him. Their faces were inches from each other. Josh swallowed hard.

“And just as beautiful,” he added. He tore his eyes away from Dani, looking down at the infant again. Her little puckered lips quivered and her tiny limbs twitched. Josh reached out and gently ran a finger across the baby’s cheek, noting the sharp contrast between his bronze skin and the baby’s rosy tone.

“She has your hair,” he said, studying the light tufts of golden down on the baby’s head. Was that relief he felt, or disappointment? Dani’s baby was definitely not of mixed blood.

Chapter 14

Danica leaned against Josh as they sat on the furs on the floor. They silently watched the baby she held in her arms.
He called you beautiful, Dani
. Beautiful, when she must look her all-time worst. She didn’t know what to think of his words. Perhaps he had said it simply as words of encouragement, trying to make her feel better after her long labor. When he stirred behind her, she turned her head. The dim light in the room cast his features in shadow, but his eyes stared warmly back at her.

“I’ll be right back,” he said quietly, and pushed himself off the ground. He left the room, only to return moments later with a bucket of warm water, soap, clean linen, and a flannel shirt.

“For you,” he said in response to her raised eyebrows. “Let me take her while you, ah . . . tend to yourself,” he added, reaching for the baby. Danica looked up at him in stunned silence. She hesitated for a moment, then handed him the infant. Tears stung her eyes when he held the little bundle in the crook of his arm.

“I’ll take good care of her,” he said. The smile on his face melted her heart.

“I know you will, Josh,” she whispered. She trusted him completely. He nodded, and left the room, her little girl tucked safely in his arm.

Danica stared after him.  She’d cursed his name in anger throughout the day for abandoning her during her time of need.  He couldn’t have known she’d gone into labor, her more rational mind told her now.  He’d been her anchor after those long hours of lying on her bed this afternoon, when she was alone and scared.

Tonight, Josh had seen her at her most vulnerable, and taken control of the situation as if birthing babies was something he did frequently. He acted more devoted than a real husband. Danica remembered many of her former friends who’d gone off and gotten married, and then complained about their men. Her friend Allison had even gone so far as to say, “It’s just like a man to enjoy the marriage bed, but you’d think they’d take a minute’s notice and help tend the children once in a while.”

Danica groaned and sat up. She reached for the washcloth Josh left beside the bowl of water, unbuttoned the cotton shirt she wore, and slipped out of it. The warm water felt good on her briney skin. She cleansed herself as best as she could. Every part of her fatigued body ached.  What she wouldn’t give for a full bath, but this would have to suffice for now. Shaking uncontrollably in the cold night air, she hastily pulled on the warmer flannel shirt. Josh’s masculine scent mixed with a subtle hint of leather and wood lingered on the fabric.

The loud wail of her baby’s cries from the main room startled her momentarily. She struggled to rise to her feet, but her limbs wouldn’t cooperate. “Josh?” she called out in alarm. Why was her child crying?

“Are you decent?” Josh called from the other side of the door.

Danica almost rolled her eyes and laughed. Modesty had flown out the window several hours ago. She glanced at her legs. The shirt reached halfway down her thighs. She was decent enough. “Yes,” she answered.

Josh walked in, rocking the infant in his arms, cooing softly to her, and speaking in Shoshone. He didn’t appear to be alarmed by her cries. In fact, his features had never looked more relaxed. Her daughter, on the other hand, wasn’t happy. Her little arms flailed, and her legs kicked out. Josh tried in vain to keep her wrapped in her blanket.

“What’s wrong with her?” Danica raised her voice to be heard over the baby’s cries, and tried again to get up off the ground.

“Stay where you are, Dani. She’s fine,” Josh told her firmly. Instead of bringing the baby to her, he laid the squirming bundle in the middle of the bed. Before Danica could question him, he bent over her, and his arms reached under her knees and behind her back, scooping her off the ground.

“I’m getting my fill of carrying pretty girls in my arms today,” he said in a low teasing tone, and held her to his chest. Danica’s breath caught in her throat. She searched his face, wondering again why he would say such things to her. Josh turned, and slowly placed her on the mattress, adjusting some pillows behind her head so she could sit up. He pulled a blanket over her exposed legs, and laid the infant on her chest.

“Your daughter’s hungry,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Oh,” Danica said awkwardly. Why didn’t she realize that? How did Josh know this, but she – the baby’s mother – couldn’t understand what her daughter was telling her?

“I’ll leave you two alone.”  He turned his back, and gathered up the soiled furs off the ground. “Call out if you need anything.”

I need to know what I’m supposed to do.
She almost called out to him not to leave. Wasn’t motherhood supposed to come naturally? Danica stared down at her screaming infant. With a trembling hand, she fumbled with the buttons on the shirt, and held her baby to her breast. After several failed attempts, the infant managed to latch on, and suckled greedily. Danica laid her head back against the pillows, absorbed in this new sensation.  Renewed fear washed over her. She hadn’t realized how ill–prepared she was for caring for an infant.

“It’ll be okay. It’ll all work out,” she whispered, trying to reassure herself, and closed her eyes.

*****

Danica sat up in bed, and leaned against the headboard. Her daughter slept contently in her arms. She’d managed to doze on and off through the wee hours of the night, falling asleep as her baby nursed. She couldn’t get enough of looking at the infant’s little mouth as it puckered in her sleep, or the way her cheeks and eyes twitched every now and then.

“You’re perfect, my little angel,” Danica whispered. How could something so innocent have been created from such a brutal act as what she had endured? Danica swore her daughter would never find out how she’d been conceived. Eventually, when she was old enough to ask questions, she would simply tell her that her father was dead. It wouldn’t be a lie.

Danica sighed. Her eyes darted to the main room. Her door was half ajar, and she could hear Josh moving about, stoking the fire, and pouring water into the kettle. She was surprised he was awake already. Her chest tightened. After everything he’d done for her the previous night, could she possibly fall any more in love with him? Danica had discovered that, not only had Josh bathed and cleaned her daughter, he had also swaddled her in soft cloth, and she wore a white cotton gown. How had he managed to do all that? When had he found all these baby items? She remembered Josh telling her that Kyle and Kate had a daughter. These items had surely belonged to her.

The room suddenly brightened, and Danica’s gaze drifted to the small window. A brilliant shimmer of golden light replaced the gray drabness as the sun rose above the mountains in the distance, announcing the dawning of a new day. The sun hadn’t made an appearance in weeks, it seemed.

Her eyes returned to her daughter. “Dawn,” she whispered softly. “I can’t very well name you Jacob like I planned.”

She said the name several more times. It seemed fitting. Dawn to symbolize a new beginning in her life. The baby stirred, and began to fuss. Danica had learned real quick through the night that it meant the infant would let out a loud wail within seconds. She sighed, and quickly fumbled with the buttons on the shirt. Her breasts were sore, and she bit her lips when baby Dawn latched on to a nipple.

“I hope this gets easier,” she whispered, and adjusted her position against the pillows. She needed to get out of bed. Her bladder was full to bursting, and she desperately wanted to stretch her aching limbs. How would she manage to do everything on her own? This baby was completely dependent on her.

The bedroom door creaked, and Danica looked up. Josh stood under the doorframe. When their eyes met, he quickly turned to leave. She thought she heard him mumble a quick apology under his breath.

“Josh,” Danica called after him. He stopped. “Come in. Please.” She hastily adjusted the shirt to cover up. For a second, she didn’t think he’d come back, but then he slowly turned and walked into the room.

“I heard the baby,” he said, keeping his eyes on the window.

“I hope we didn’t keep you up all night. I know she cried a lot.”

“I prepared some food for you. You must be hungry yourself.” He stood rigid, his hands clasped behind his back, staring out the window. Danica smiled. Josh Osborne was uncomfortable standing in this room this morning. This was a side of him she hadn’t seen before.

“Josh, you can turn around. After last night, I don’t think we have to concern ourselves with propriety.”

His head turned first, then his body. He darted a quick glance at the baby at her breast, then turned his attention to Danica’s face. Seconds passed and he just looked at her.

“Josh,” Danica said softly, and reached out her hand. “I want to thank you for everything you’ve done for me . . . for us.” She nodded toward the baby. “I couldn’t have gotten through this on my own. What you did last night was amazing.”

Josh pushed some hair out of his face, and slowly moved toward the bed. He took her hand in his.

“No Dani. What you did last night was amazing.” He squeezed her hand and squatted next to the bed. His face was eye level with hers, and she nearly gasped at the unmistakable look of admiration in his eyes.

“Are you well?” he asked, and the concerned, almost tender tone in his voice brought tears to her eyes. She blinked them away, and nodded.

“How’s the little one?” He reached over her to touch Dawn’s cheek with the back of his fingers.

“She’s constantly hungry,” Danica groaned. “I don’t know if she’s supposed to eat all the time, or if I just don’t have enough milk. I’ve heard that can happen.”

Josh pulled his hand back. “I can make some herbal tea for you. It might help. We, ah . . . that is, Kyle and I . . . give it to our mares who are slow to let down their milk.”

 ”Josh Osborne, are you comparing me to a horse again?” Danica feigned outrage. In truth, she couldn’t believe he would think of a way for her to produce milk for her baby. There were so many layers to this man. The real Josh Osborne was far better than anything her mind had conjured up over the years.

Dawn stirred and pulled away from Danica’s breast. She quickly pulled the side of the shirt over herself to cover up, and lifted the baby up to her shoulder, patting her back.

“It was easier when she was still inside me,” Danica chuckled. “How am I supposed to get out of bed, and . . . take care of things when she’s constantly latched on to me.”

Josh stood, and held out his hands. “Let me take her,” he suggested, uncertainty in his voice. “We’ll give you some time to yourself.”

Danica stared up at him. This had to be a dream. She’d thought Josh would be angry that she’d gone into labor here at his cabin. It only meant another delay in getting them to Helena. How soon would he expect her to be ready to travel?

“Dani, hand me the baby, and you can take care of your own needs.” Josh’s prompting pulled her out of her thoughts. He leaned over her, and Danica placed the baby into his waiting hands. He tenderly cradled her daughter in the crook of his arm. She looked so tiny nestled up against him.

“I’ll hurry,” Danica said. The last thing she wanted was to be a burden to him.

“We’ll be right outside.” Josh smiled, and headed out the door. Danica stared after him in disbelief. She fought back a fresh wave of tears. Josh would be an incredible husband and father.
Not to you and your baby, Dani. He didn’t choose you. You were forced on him.

Danica’s legs trembled as she scooted them over the edge of the bed. She sat up slowly, her head spinning with dizziness. She hadn’t realized how weak she was. She was sore and tender everywhere. She stood on wobbly legs, and stretched her aching back. As quickly as her tired body allowed, she took care of her needs. Spotting her carpet bag at the foot of the bed – when had Josh brought that into the room? – she unbuckled the straps and peered inside. She pulled out her brush, and rummaged for a dress and undergarments.

Putting a hand on her stomach, Danica realized with some dismay that she would not fit into any of her dresses. She held up a pair of bloomers. They might fit a bit snug, but at least she could wear that undergarment, along with Josh’s shirt, and move around the cabin without having to wrap herself in a blanket for modesty. Although she had told Josh she wasn’t worried about propriety, it wouldn’t do to walk around nearly naked in his presence.  She quickly pulled her brush through her hair, working through the knots and snags. Perhaps she could find the time to wash it in the next day or two.