Yon Ill Wind (10 page)

He came around to the gas tank and used his equine teeth to twist off the cap.  The guzzler stuck in its tail, and the gas flowed.  When the tank was evidently full.  Nimby used his teeth again to put the cap back on and screw it tight.  Then he trundled back around the RV.  When he reached his door, he reverted to man-form.  Just in time to get hit by a big blood blister-from the sky.  It didn't seem to hurt him, but he was completely soaked.

“Get in before you get killed!” Mary screamed, appalled.

The man opened the door and climbed in.  “Oooo, ugh!” Karen said with a certain relish.  “What a sunk!”

She was right.  Nimby now smelled of rotten guts.

 “Can't be helped,” Jim said, starting the motor.

“Come back here,” Mary told Nimby.  “I'll see if I can clean you up.” She felt somewhat guilty, because he had gotten splatted while doing them a favor.

Nimby came back.  The children drew away from him, turned off by the sight and smell of him, but Mary had cleaned up messes before.  “We'll have to wash you off and give you some clean clothes,” she said in motherly fashion.  “Do you know how to use our facilities?”

He nodded.

“Then do so.  Pass your clothing out, and I'll pass fresh things in.”

He did so.  Relieved, Mary set about a search for clothing.  “He'll have to use some of yours,” she told Sean.

“He's about your size.  It's in a good cause.”

“For sure,” he agreed wryly.

She dug out a shirt, jeans, underwear, and an old pair of sneakers.  Then when the lavatory door opened, she exchanged them for the sodden things Nimby had been wearing.  It was hard to breathe with the stench of them.  She bundled them up and dumped them in a basin for laundering.

Meanwhile Jim was navigating the blobstacle course back to the main road.  It seemed easier now; the meatier shower was abating, and the blobs seemed to be shrinking.

Apparently even bad things didn't last long, in Xanth.

Soon the road cleared, and they were back on the main haul.  That was another considerable relief.

Nimby emerged, garbed correctly.  Now he looked exactly like a barely-beyond-teenager.  Sean's clothing fit him well enough.

“Let me fix your hair,” Mary said.  She fetched a brush, and trained his wet hair back in a conventional part.

“Gee, he could pass for one of us,” David said.  “I mean, like one of the family.”

“Say, do you want to be my brother?” Karen asked him.

Nimby looked blank.  “They're teasing you,” Mary said.  “You don't have to be part of anyone's family.” She realized as she spoke that her attitude toward the young man had changed.  She had been wary of him because she didn't understand him; now she had seen his natural form, she understood him better.  He was surely somewhat uncomfortable among human beings, and she wanted to alleviate that.  Because he was helping them significantly.  Of course, she knew it was because he was Chlorine's companion, doing what Chlorine wanted, and Chlorine had been assigned to get the family safely through Xanth.  Still, she appreciated what he was doing.

She put away the brush and adjusted his collar.  She realized that he was looking at her.  “I'm sorry,” she said, embarrassed.  “I'm so used to taking care of my family, I just automatically do these things.  I know you're not a child.”

Nimby smiled.  Then he found his pad—actually it just seemed to appear in his hand, along with the pencil—and wrote a note.  She noticed with surprise that he actually held the pencil still and moved the notepad against it to do the writing.  He tore off the sheet and gave it to her.

Thank you for your attitude.  No one has treated me like a person before, except Chlorine.  I am glad to be thought of as part of your family.

“Why, thank you.  Nimby,” Mary said, pleased.  She gave his hand a little squeeze.  Then she returned to her seat.

“If you want to be family, you have to help entertain the kid,” Karen said.  “Come here to the table.  Nimby, and play solitaire.”

“No, you don't have to do that,” Sean said.  “Don't let her push you around.”

“What is solitaire?” Chlorine asked.

“It's a card game,” Karen said.  “Actually there are many kinds, and some can be played by two or three people at once.  I'll show you.”

Sean and David moved out, and Chlorine and Nimby joined Karen at the table for instruction in solitaire.  Soon they were deep into it.  Chlorine had the usual miscues of a beginner, but Nimby seemed to be a natural player.  Either he was extremely smart, or his general awareness of things acquainted him with the identities of the hidden cards.  Or maybe both.

How could a donkey-headed dragon be so talented?

Mary wasn't sure, but suspected that the relationship of animals to humans was different in Xanth.  Animals were smarter here.  That business with their own pets was eerie, it was just as if they had developed almost human intelligence and restraint.  And Tweeter had warned them about the approach of the flying monsters, back at the rest stop.

Or had he?  Nimby had claimed to listen to the bird, and written a note.  It could have been Nimby doing it.

It became important for Mary to know.  The drive was quiet now, as Sean accompanied Jim up front, and both Nimby and Chlorine were involved in Karen's game.  David was watching the game, about to get involved himself.

So she should be able to do a little experimentation without attracting attention.

She went back to where the pets were.  “Woofer,” she said, and the dog perked up.  She unsnapped his leash, freeing him.  “How smart are you, now?” she asked quietly.

Woofer wagged his tail.

“Suppose I tell you to look out the left window?”

The dog looked out the left window.

Mary controlled her reaction.  “Suppose I ask you to open Tweeter's cage?”

Woofer turned to the birdcage, set teeth and paw to the catch, and worked it open.

“Tweeter, suppose I tell you to go perch on Karen's head?”

The bird flew out and landed on the girl's head.  Karen was so preoccupied she didn't notice.

“Midrange.”

The cat sat up and gazed at her.

“Suppose I ask you to roll over?” This was not a trick the cat had been taught.

Midrange rolled over.

“You animals do understand me, don't you?”

The cat nodded.

“If we treat you three with the respect due intelligent and disciplined entities, will you behave accordingly?” Midrange nodded.

“Then we shall do so.  Do you know why you are now so smart?”

The cat shook his head.

“I think it is because of the magic of this land.  It seems that magic dust is getting stirred up, and causing numerous disruptions, including enhancement of the intelligence of animals.” She was speaking in a deliberately advanced manner, testing the limits.  “Does that make sense to you?”

Midrange considered, then slowly nodded.

“But as you know, there are also some formidable dangers here,” Mary said, surprised by how readily she was accepting this new relationship with their pets.  “So I hope you will remain close by, when we go out of the RV, and will also warn us, as Tweeter did, when the situation warrants.”

Midrange agreed again, then wandered off to find a suitable place to catnap.

Mary returned to her seat.  She had satisfied herself that Nimby had not been faking it; he had understood bird talk, and the bird had talked.

Now Mary realized that night had fallen.  She had been distracted by her investigation and not realized it.  They had spoken of driving through the night, but now she was not at all certain this was wise.  She didn't want Jim suffering deadly fatigue, when any accident could strand them in a really strange situation.  “Dear, maybe we should look for a place to stay the night,” she called.

“Is it safe to stop that long?” he asked.

Chlorine looked up from the card game.  “Is it safe, Nimby?”

YON ILL WIND 91

Nimby wrote a note:  This vehicle has outdistanced the storm.  It is safe to pause until dawn.

“Good,” Mary said.  She was catching on to the way of these things.  “Where is a good place to stay?  A camping park with some facilities would suffice, but I think I'd rather find a hotel where we can really unwind for a few hours.”

There is an imp settlement near.  The imps are courteous to visitors from afar, if the right village is chosen.

“Then that is where we should stop,” Mary decided.

Soon Nimby indicated a side road, and Jim took it.  It led to a sign saying IMPOSSIBLE, with an arrow to the right, but Nimby indicated that this wasn't the right one.  A little farther was a sign saying IMP RISON, with an arrow to the left, but it seemed this wasn't right either.  Mary was inclined to agree; she wouldn't want to stay at either Impossible or Imprison, considering the literal tendencies of this land.  Finally a sign said IMP ERIAL, and this one was good.  Mary was glad; Imperial had a quality ring to it.

The village was small but elegant.  The jungle had been cleared back somewhat, and there were neat little gardens and nice little houses.  In fact, everything about this community seemed small scale.

Following Nimby's indications, they drew up to the largest building in the village.  Its structure suggested that it was an enormous hotel, but it was only about two human stories tall.

Though it was night, tiny figures were scurrying about carrying torches.  Each was under one foot tall—the females significantly under.  But apart from that they appeared to be fully human.  They were carrying things from their little houses into the forest.

“What are they doing?” Chlorine asked.

Nimby wrote a note.  They are carrying their gems to the safety of a deep cave.

“Oh, because of the approaching storm,” Chlorine said.

“That makes sense.”

They got out of the RV, stretching their legs after the long confinement.  Woofer, Tweeter, and Midrange joined them, perfectly behaved.  The hotel door opened and a man and a woman emerged.  He looked to be in his seventies, by the human scale, and she in her fifties.  “Hello, huge folk,” the woman said, her voice clear despite her tiny size.  “I am Quieta Imp, and this is my father.  Imp Ortant.

We are the leaders of this community, so we run the hospitality domicile.  Do you wish to accept our hospitality?” There was a pause.  Then Mary stepped in.  “Yes we do, please.  But we—we're not sure your building is big enough for us.” She glanced meaningfully at the foot-high main door.

“Oh, it has an accommodation spell,” Quieta said.  “It will do.  Come in.”

Somewhat dubiously, Mary stepped forward.  As she approached the building, it seemed to shimmer, and suddenly it was human size.  Quieta and Ortant Imp were human size too.

“What happened?” Mary asked, startled.

“You have been accommodated,” Quieta said.  “See, the others in your party haven't, yet.”

Mary turned.  There behind her stood several giants, thirty to forty feet tall.  Even their animals were terrifyingly large.  “Oh!” she said, feeling faint.

Quieta stepped up to take her arm.  “I'm sorry; I didn't realize how new this must be to you.  Are you by any chance Mundane?”

“Yes,” Mary said faintly.

“The spell is harmless.  It merely makes the various parties seem to be the same size.  So we are about two and a half times as big, and you are about one two and a halfth as big, or small, as the case may be.  But those outside the spell region don't see that, and to them we all look impishly small, while to us they look humanly big.”

“To be sure,” Mary agreed, not able to argue whatever point there might be.

Now Chlorine stepped forward.  She shimmered, and became Mary's size.  “Aren't accommodation spells wonderful?” she asked rhetorically.  “I've never been in one before, but I love it.  I thought they were only for when folk of quite different sizes wished to summon the stork.”

“To what?” Mary exclaimed, shocked.  But she realized that in this land of magic, storks might be literal, and that interbreeding of humans and imps might indeed be possible.  “I mean, I'm surprised, that's all.”

Chlorine beckoned the others, and one by one they stepped in, including the animals, who seemed almost as surprised as the humans.  “Gee,” Karen said, summing it all up.

“Come in,” Quieta said.  “I will show you to your rooms while my father prepares the evening meal.”

They followed her to an ornate staircase that wound up to a sumptuous second story.  Quieta opened the door on a truly splendid suite.  “Will this do?” she asked somewhat timidly.  “It has four bedrooms and lavatories, with facilities for your animal companions.”

“But we can't afford anything like this!” Mary protested.

“Afford?”

“What does this princely suite cost?”

“Cost?”

“Imps don't charge for their hospitality,” Chlorine murmured.

“But we can't accept this!” Mary said.

Quieta looked embarrassed.  “I'm sorry; I thought it would be adequate.  I will try to find better rooms for you.”

“No, no!” Mary said.  “It's not that.  It's that this suite is so fancy, we don't have any right to take it, especially not without paying.”

“But you are guests,” Quieta said.

Mary looked at Chlorine.  “This is the way of it?  All this—with no charge?  Just because we stopped here?”

“Yes.  I thought you knew.  Of course, if we had stopped at Rison, it would have been much less comfortable.”

“Imp-rison,” Sean murmured appreciatively.

“Then it's all right?” Quieta asked hopefully.

“Oh my dear, it's wonderful,” Mary said.  “I simply had no idea it would be so fancy.  We—we are used to much simpler accommodations.”

“We imps take pride in our hospitality,” Quieta said, evidently relieved.  “Will an hour be enough time before supper?”

“Yes, of course,” Mary said.  “And thank you, Quieta.

Thank you so much.  This is really nice.”

“You are welcome,” the imp lady said, and departed.

They explored the suite.  There was a huge master bedroom, and three smaller ones, and a sitting room with several couches, and an alcove with what looked like dog food, cat food, and birdseed, as well as the two bathrooms.