You and I Alone (9 page)

              “It was fine.” I stutter out, not really sure how to answer that question.

              “Yes, well considering I just drew up five additional contracts, I would say so.” She smiles slightly and I can't help but wonder if I have ever seen her actually smile before.

              “Yes, I suppose.” I say, not really sure what she wants from me.

              “So, Logan.” She says, pushing herself away from the desk and taking a few steps forward until she is standing uncomfortably close to me. “I wanted to talk to you about something that has come to my attention.”

              “O-Okay.” I stutter out, having no idea what any of this is about.

              “What is going on between you and Mr. Reed?” She asks, catching me off guard.

              “Nothing.” I immediately lie. I mean, there isn't
really
anything going on.

              She lets out a high pitched laugh and then reaches out, picking up a strand of my long hair. She examines it for a long moment and then begins to twist it around her index finger. “You are a very beautiful young woman Logan.” She says, taking another step towards me causing me to take a step backwards just to keep a few inches between us. “I can see why he craves you.” She says, completely unphased when I take another step back. She simply matches my step until my back meets the hard door and I am essentially trapped between it and her.

              “I don't know what you're talking about.” I say, straightening my shoulders.

              “I think you do.” She says, finally letting the strand of hair fall from her fingers. “Josh.” She says on a shrug. “I can look the other way. But Mr. Reed is spoken for.” She says, leaning in so close that for a moment, I think she is going to kiss me. “If I have to remind you of this again, we
will
have a problem. Are we clear?” She asks, at this point so close to my face that I can smell the mint of her mouthwash trying to conceal the overwhelming scent of liquor.

              I don't know what to say so I simply nod, desperate to get the hell out of this situation and away from this crazy woman who apparently thinks that I am trying to steal her man.
Her
man? Certainly not. If her and Bentley were a thing, someone surely would know that information which means Lo would have known. There is rarely an incident that takes place that Lo doesn't have her nose all up in. And then there's Josh. Immediately I can't help but question if he told her. I know it wasn't Lo, so how else would she find out?

              “That's a good girl.” She laughs lightly, finally stepping away from me and giving me room to let out a long breath. “You can go.” She says dismissively, turning her back to me as she makes her way around the other side of the desk.

              I don't wait to be told twice. Quickly slipping out of the office, I practically run down the hall and out of the back door, wanting to get as far away from this place as I possibly can. As soon as the night air engulfs me, I feel like some of my disorientation lifts. What the hell is going on tonight? First, being thrown into a private party I wasn't prepared for. Then, having to dance for Bentley of all people. What came after was even more shocking and has since gotten even weirder.

              As I climb into the drivers seat of my old car, I can't shake the feeling that Bentley Reed coming into my life is more of a curse than a blessing. I am a simple girl with simple needs. I don't belong in his world. A world with money and power. A world where women like Cora have already staked their claim and are waiting in the wings to pounce on anyone that threatens what they view as theirs.

              I am not ready for that world. And as drawn as I am to Bentley, I don't think I am ready for a man like him either.

Chapter Nine

             
“Josh. Would you just talk to me?” I ask, following him down the hall towards the office. It's been three days since he walked in on me and Bentley and I have yet to smooth things over with him.

              The first day, radio silence. I tried to call and text him multiple times with no response. I wasn't sure what to expect when I arrived at work yesterday but Josh avoided me my entire shift and even left for the night before I did. I promised myself that no matter what it takes, he will talk to me tonight. Though up to this point, he hasn't made the task easy on me.

              “Josh.” I say again, reaching out to grab his arm just as he tries to slip into his office. He spins in place and pins his dark eyes directly on mine. “Let me explain.” I plead, not missing the way his features soften at my words only to harden again within seconds.

              “I have work to do Logan.” He says, attempting to turn back towards the door. Okay, well at least he said actual words. That's a start.

              “Josh.” I say, grabbing his arm again, trying my damnedest to not let him just avoid this conversation. “We need to talk.” I say, when he flips his eyes back towards me. “Please.” I say again.

              “There's nothing to talk about. Now if you will excuse me.” He says, shaking my hand off his arm and pushing his way inside the office. He attempts to close the door in my face but I am having none of that. Wedging my foot in the crease of the door, I block his ability to shut it. As if he doesn't have the strength to fight me, he simply shrugs his shoulders and crosses the room, taking a seat behind his desk.

              “I know I hurt you.” I say, stepping into the small space and closing the door behind me. He doesn't attempt to look at me as I take a seat in one of the chairs sitting directly across from him.

              “You didn't hurt me.” He surprises me by actually speaking.

              “Then maybe you could explain to me why you are treating me like this.” I challenge, straightening my posture.

              “I'm just disappointed in you, that's all.” He says, scribbling his signature on the document in front of him and then flipping to the next page without looking up at me.

              “Disappointed in me?” I question, a little taken back by his words.

              “Logan, I am extremely busy. Can you please go now?” He says, scribbling on another paper and then thumbing through a few more pieces.

              “No.” I say, my voice clipped.

              “No?” He questions, finally meeting my gaze.

              “I am not leaving here until we resolve this. I care about you Josh. I consider you a friend and I want things to be okay between us.” I say honestly.

              “A friend.” He states, his mouth pulling up in smile that is the furthest thing from happy. “You fuck all your friends?” His words are riddled with anger and it isn't until this moment, that I see how upset he really is.

              “Don't.” I say, my own anger showing through. “You knew what this was going in. You knew that we would never be anymore than what we were. And yes, I do consider you a friend. I care about you deeply. But don't pretend like I somehow led you into this arrangement under false pretenses.”

              “Bentley fucking Reed Logan!” His words cut through the small office and echo off the walls around us as the last remaining hold on his temper snaps away. “Of all people.” He pauses, meeting my gaze with dark eyes. “I know him Logan. I know what he does to girls like you. I've seen it, multiple times. So tell me, what happens when he makes you want everything that he is and then pulls the rug out from underneath you and leaves you more broken than you were when he got here? What happens when he promises you the world and then breaks every single promise? What happens when it all falls apart around you and you have no one left to pick up the pieces?”

              “We were kissing Josh.” I say, unable to sit any longer. Pushing myself out of the chair, I hover at the edge of the desk. “It's not like I intend on marrying the man. Hell, I don't even know him. I'm not even entirely sure I want to know him. So why don't you tell me what this is really about?” My tone is clipped as I cross my arms in front of my chest and wait for him to respond.

              He pushes into a slow stand, his eyes finding mine and not blinking away for even a second. “Get out of my office Logan.” He warns.

              “Not until we settle this.” I say, ready to stand here the entire night if that's what it takes.

              “For fuck sake Logan. Are you that fucking blind?” He screams across the desk at me, his voice taking on a nervous shake. “When I saw you two together, I felt like someone gutted me. I wasn't prepared to feel that.” He says. “I know we aren't exclusive. I know that you don't want a relationship. But that doesn't mean that it didn't slice me to my core to see you in his arms.” He takes a deep breath as if to steady himself. “And yes, I was disappointed in you. Because I thought you were different. I have watched countless woman fall at that man's feet and you know what, it never bothered me. But you.” He says, his gaze softening. “I thought.... Hell, I don't know what I thought.”

              “Josh.” I say softly, taking a step forward until just the desk separates us. “It didn't mean anything. Yes, I'm attracted to him. But I am not like all the others. I am not stupid, nor am I blind. I see him for the man he is. And you know what, that's okay with me. I don't want anything from him. This isn't about him. It's about us.” I say, pausing as I carefully choose my next words. “It's clear that you want more than I can give you and for that, I'm sorry. You're an amazing man and any girl would be so lucky to have you. But.....”

              “You aren't interested in more.” He finishes my sentence, his eyes taking on a sadness I'm not prepared for.

              “I think we have let this go far enough. Dragging this out will only make it harder to walk away. I can't be the girl you need Josh. And I can't give you what you want. But I meant what I said. I do care about you deeply. And I don't want to hurt you anymore.” I say, taking a deep breath. “This has to end.”

              “I know.” He says, shaking his head slightly.

              “I will give you some time to sort things out but I don't want to lose you.” I say, reaching across the desk and giving his hand a squeeze before releasing it.

              “Logan.” His words stop me as I turn towards the door. Turning back towards him, the moment I register the pain on his face, it's like something has knocked all the wind from me and I am left gasping for air. “Be careful.” He says, reclaiming his seat and turning his attention back to the paperwork in front of him without another glance in my direction.

              I want to protest. Say there is no reason that I need to be careful because nothing more is going to happen. But even I can't bring myself to utter the words I know aren't true. Truth is, Friday night only made me more curious about Bentley and the hold he seems to have over my body.

              So instead, I simply nod and quickly exit the office without another word. While I feel sick about where me and Josh stand in this moment, I also know that ending it is exactly the right move. It may take awhile but I know, eventually, things will start to return to normal. If normal even exists anymore.

              Heading straight to my dressing room, I want nothing more than to get the hell out of this place. I used to love being here. There is something so freeing about working at
Allure
. It's the one place where I can be anyone I want to be.

              When I step on that stage, I am no longer Anna. I am no longer the girl that has faced more loss than most people know in a life time. I am Logan. Sexy, powerful, free. Not afraid to take what I want when I want it. But here recently, I can feel those two people merging together as one and I can't help but wonder how long it will be before I see more of Anna when I look in my dressing room mirror than Logan.

              There's a light knock on my door just as I finish slipping on my tennis shoes. Straightening myself, I make it to the door in two long strides and click the lock out of place. When I pull the door open, the last person I expect to see is Bentley, so needless to say when his bright eyes land directly on mine, it takes me a moment to realize that this isn't some type of dream and that he is actually standing in front of me. I haven't heard from him since Friday and honestly, I didn't expect to hear from him for sometime. So why is he here and more importantly, what does he want?

              “Bentley?” I question, not making any attempt to open the door further. “What are you doing here?”

              “Last time I checked, I own the place.” He says, his smile so breathtaking I literally feel my legs wobble underneath my weight.

              “Good point.” I say, pulling the door the rest of the way open before leaning down to retrieve my bag from the floor. “I'm actually heading out. Did you need something?” I ask, my sudden professional behavior towards him making me feel oddly uncomfortable.

              “Have a drink with me.” He says, more of a command than a question.

              “At two in morning? All the bars are closing.” I say, verifying the time on my cell before looking back up to see him still staring at me with that ridiculously handsome dimple filled grin.

              “Pretty sure there is a bar just down the hall.” He says, laughing lightly.

              “Here?” I question, a little shocked that he would be willing to put us on display for all the other employees. Immediately my mind jumps to Cora and what happened the last time we spoke. I have no desire to have another confrontation with her as I am still feeling uneasy about the last one.

              “Why not?” Bentley questions when I shake my head no.

              “I think it's best if we keep this relationship professional Mr. Reed. And sitting in the middle of the establishment that I work at and you own, in the view of everyone, is sure to send the wrong message.” I say, making a move to step past him.

              His arm darts out, blocking my ability to exit easily. He leans down, dropping his lips to my ear before speaking. “And what message would that be?” He whispers, causing my skin to prickle and my stomach to tighten.

              “That you and I are somehow involved.” I say, taking a step backwards.

              “But we are.” He says, taking a step inside the small room. Suddenly the tiny square space feels claustrophobic as he takes another step towards me, closing the door behind him with an echoing thud.

              “No. We are not.” I say, taking another step backwards and nearly tripping over my vanity chair in the process. I catch myself before I go toppling over but it gives Bentley the perfect opportunity to close in while my guard is down.

              I no more than straighten my body and he's on me. His hands grip my hips and his face hovers just an inch from mine. “Aren't we now? I seem to remember things differently.” He says, his voice low.

              I open my mouth to respond but when no words seem to form, Bentley leans in closer. “I can still taste you on my lips.” His hot breath dances across my face. “I can still hear your cries of pleasure as I made you come. Tell me you don't want that again Logan.” He says, slowly backing me towards the wall as he speaks, not stopping until my back is pressed firmly against it.

              “I....” I start to protest, but like all the times before, my words get lost in the chaos of my thoughts while in the presence of this man. I have never had someone command me the way Bentley does. Without any effort at all, I am like putty in his hands. And while the feeling is exquisite, it's also terrifying.

              “Not here.” I finally manage to get out just as his lips brush against mine.

              “No?” He asks, pulling back slightly to look down at me.

              “I need you to leave me alone Bentley.” I say, seeing the surprise cross his features for a split second before his face becomes unreadable. “I want to fuck you.” I admit, trailing my hand lightly down his sculpted chest. “But only once. I need to stop thinking about you all the time. Fantasizing what it would be like to be underneath you. And while I wish I could just walk away never knowing, I simply can't. I'll give you one night and then you have to promise you will go back to New York or wherever it is that you live and stay there.”

              “That's not possible. In case you have forgotten, I own this club.” He says, stopping my hand as it travels lower across his abdomen. Squeezing it tightly, he stares directly into my eyes.

              “And you seem to forget that up until the last couple of weeks, I had never seen you. Which means, whatever you need to do here, you can do when I'm not here. I know you have that ability. These are my terms Bentley. Take it or leave it.”

              “You drive a hard bargain.” He says, releasing my hand and taking a step backwards.

              “Do we have a deal?” I ask, feeling the butterflies erupt in my stomach as he flashes me another heart stopping smile.