You and I Alone (4 page)

              I can't make myself do anything but kiss him back. Diving both of my hands into the back of his hair, I pull him closer. I want to slow down, turn it off. I want to stop this. I want to get up and walk away. I want..... and yet, I can't.

              I can't do anything that doesn't involve touching his perfect skin. Or tasting his incredible mouth. Or feeling his hands on my body. Finding my will from somewhere down deep, I put my hands against his chest and push hard, finally freeing myself of his lips.

              “Bentley. Stop.” I say, so breathless my words barely register through the music. “I have to go.” I stutter out, relief flooding through my body when he doesn't resist and lets me stand.

              “I'm sorry.” I say, backing away and spinning around, exiting the room as quickly as I can, before taking off down the hallway and through the club before finally making it backstage. Ducking into my dressing room, I shut the door and slide the lock in place, pushing my back against the hard wood trying to steady my breathing.

              What the hell was that? And why the hell did I let it happen? I can't explain or excuse my actions, but as I reach up and brush my fingers across my swollen lower lip, I also can't bring myself to regret it either.

Chapter Four

             
“Logan.” Josh's voice comes filtering into my room just moments later, followed by a faint knock against my door. “You in there?” He phrases his question like he doesn't already know the answer even though I know he does.

              “Yeah, I'm just changing.” I holler back, quickly peeling out of my polka dot cami and boy shorts before stepping into my regular black bra and panties.

              “Can I come in?” He asks, his voice low.

              I don't want to let him in. Hell, I don't want to see anyone right now. But most of all, I don't want to see him. One look at me and he will know what I was up to. What I almost did with his boss. Looking in the mirror, I notice immediately that my cheeks are extremely flushed and my green eyes are much brighter than usual.

              “Calm down.” I say softly to my reflection, taking a deep inhale. “Yeah, hang on.” I call back to Josh, grabbing my black silk robe from my vanity chair and slipping it around my shoulders before making my way to the door.

              The minute the lock slides and the knob turns, Josh hurries inside, shutting the door behind him. Turning back towards my vanity, I grab my brush and begin working out the massive tangles that have developed in my thick hair over the course of the night. I jump when Josh approaches me from behind and rests his hands on my shoulders.

              “You okay?” He asks, meeting my eyes in the mirror.

              “Fine.” I say, sitting my brush down and turning to face him. “What's up?” I ask, running my hand down the button closure of his black shirt, trying my damnedest to seem completely normal, even though I feel anything but.

              “I saw you practically run in here. I just wanted to make sure everything was okay.” He says, his brown eyes narrowing on me.

              “Everything is fine.” I say on a shrug. “I just needed to get the hell out of that cami.” I lie, pointing to the material on the floor. “The under wire was squeezing me funny.” More lies.

              “Didn't they fit you before you wore it?” He asks, turning his gaze back towards me. I guess I should have thought about the fact that we are fitted and sized for every outfit we wear before I decided to fake a wardrobe issue.

              “Yeah, it fits fine. Just wearing it all night started to get uncomfortable.” I silently curse myself for not only lying, but for lying so badly.

              “You sure that's it?” He asks, running his hands down my arms and then back up, coming to a stop just at the base of my neck. He trails his thumb up along my windpipe and then back down, skirting across my collar bone.

              I am not in the mood for this right now but honestly, I know that denying him will raise some definite red flags. I am always up for sex. Always. I can't remember a time that I have ever made an excuse not to sleep with Josh. I mean, let's be real. He's handsome, older, experienced and has the ability to make me come every time without fail. Why would I deny that?

              Even still, something about my encounter with Bentley has left me shaken and not quite able to move past it. I reach up and still Josh's hand, peering up to meet his brown eyes. “I have a lot of studying to get done, finals and all. Do you mind if I head out?” I ask, not missing the disappointment that crosses his face.

              “You sure everything is okay?” He asks, tilting my head upwards to meet his gaze.

              “Of course.” I say, pushing up on my tip toes to kiss his jawline, his light dusting of hair tickling my lips. “I just have so much to do.” I say, pulling back again.

              “If you're sure.” He says, reminding me once again how protective he is with me. No one at the club knows about us. Well, with the exception of Lo. But that doesn't mean that people don't pick up on how Josh is with me. I think a lot of the girls just assume it's because I am the youngest dancer here. Like maybe he is fathering me in a way. Little do they know, it is the furthest thing from that.

              “Another time?” I ask, wrapping my hands around his waist and pulling him into me. Looking up into his handsome face, I can't help but smile when he smiles down at me, shaking his head.

              Lowering his face, his lips barely brush against mine when someone pushes their way into the room, causing us to jump apart. I'm startled by our sudden intrusion and my stomach immediately knots at the thought that we may have just been discovered. We don't need our relationship getting out. That could cause huge issues all around. Not just for him but for me as well. I dart my eyes to the door but Josh is standing in my line of sight. Panic seethes through my body as I hear his voice break the silence.

              “Josh?” Bentley questions, his commanding voice booming through the small space. Stepping to the side, I pull my robe even tighter around my body, trying to prepare myself for how I will feel when I see those perfect blue eyes staring back at me again.

              When my eyes finally land on his face, I lose my breath. This is the first time I have seen him in full light, and while he is immaculate in dim lighting, nothing could have prepared me for just how breathtakingly beautiful this man is when his features are on full display.

              “Logan, you left this in the back.” He says, turning his eyes on me for the first time since entering the room. He holds out my fedora and waits until I take it from his hand before turning back to Josh. “Can I have a word?” He asks, gesturing his head towards the door.

              Josh nods and throws me a weak smile before following Bentley into the hallway. Both men disappear from view before I have a chance to really process anything that is happening. The moment my door clicks shut, I rush forward, pushing my ear against the hard wood, trying desperately to hear what they are talking about.

              I can hear their muffled voices, but give up on making out what they are saying within seconds. It's no use. Pushing away from the door, I cross the small space and quickly slip out of my robe and into my faded jeans and fitted black t-shirt. Pulling a hair tie out of my vanity drawer, I quickly throw my hair up in a ponytail and then begin collecting my things.

              My hands shake nervously as I shove my cell phone into my back pocket and take one last look around my room to make sure I am not forgetting anything. I don't work again until Sunday which is five days away. I don't want to have to come here on one of my off days because I left something here.

              Honestly, I know that I am stalling. I need to see Josh before I leave. I need to know what Bentley wanted to talk to him about. More importantly, I need to make sure he is not hurt by learning that I was in a private room with Bentley. Josh knows how I feel about privates. I can't imagine learning that I did one, with the very appealing owner of all people, will be very easy for him to swallow. Especially considering he's tried to get me to do one for him several times and I have always refused.

              After what feels like an eternity, I finally give up waiting and push my way into the hallway. I half expect for both men to still be here but to my surprise, the space is completely deserted. Turning left, I walk the short distance to Josh's office and knock lightly.

              I wait until he says “Come in” before pushing my way inside. He's sitting behind his desk, arms crossed in front of his chest, his eyes finding mine the second I come into view.

              “Hey. Everything okay?” I ask, closing the door behind me. I make no attempt to approach him, still not sure what I am walking into. For all I know, Bentley plans to fire us both having caught us in my dressing room, clearly far surpassing the professional boundaries.

              “Perfect.” He says, his tone clipped as he begins sorting through papers on his desk.

              “Josh.” I say, taking a step forward.

              “Bentley Reed, Logan. Really?” He sighs loudly, dropping the papers and pinning his eyes back on my face, their intensity freezing me in place.

              “Josh. It was just a dance.” I say, immediately trying to explain myself.

              “Just a dance.” He repeats the words like there is no such thing and then laughs to himself. “Do you really believe that he only wants a dance from you?” He asks, his face taking on a harshness I have only ever seen when he has to reprimand an employee. “Are you really that stupid?” He asks, causing me to take a step backwards at his words.

              “What the fuck is your problem Josh?” My temper flares at his insult and I have to force myself to take deep breaths and not lose control.

              “My problem Logan, is that you were in that room with Bentley Reed of all people, doing god knows what and then you tried to lie to me about it.” He says, standing abruptly and pushing his chair backwards.

              “I didn't lie to you about anything. You asked if I was okay, I said I was. You never asked what I was doing prior or how my night had gone.” I say, my defensiveness evident in my tone.

              “Lying by omission is still lying.” He says, studying my face intently.

              “Oh grow up Josh. This is my job. I will not indulge in your jealous fits every time I do something you don't agree with.” I say, feeling my patience for the situation slipping.

              “How do you think it makes me feel Logan?” He pins his eyes back on me, his face morphing into desperation. “How do you think it makes me feel knowing that you were back there with him? That he was able to see you, touch you even? Fuck Logan.”

              “It was just a dance!” My voice goes up an octave and bounces off the walls around us. He straightens his posture and looks me straight in the face. He stares at me for a long moment before pushing away from the desk and crossing the space between us in the matter of seconds.

              Before I am even able to register his movements, he pins me against the door and his lips crash down on mine. At first I want to push him away, continue to be upset with him for being upset with me. But at the end of the day, nothing turns me on more than a man at his breaking point. I know that sounds awful, but there is something about a desperate man that makes his need for the woman he wants so much greater.

              So when he lifts me up and pins me to the wall, my legs going around his waist, I don't fight against him. In fact, I encourage him. I pull roughly at his short hair, drag my nails up the flesh of his arms, lock my teeth against the base of his jaw and bite at his flesh. This only sends him spiraling further until he is fucking me so hard against the office wall, I swear it's only a matter of seconds before we go tumbling through the thin drywall and end up on the floor in the room next to us.

              Even still, I urge him further, harder, deeper. I want to feel every inch of him. I want to feel him quiver below my touch as he so often does. I want to know that when I walk away from here tonight, all of his doubt over Bentley Reed will be extinguished.

              As hard as I try to convince myself that this is for Josh, I know that it has more to do with me than him. Maybe I am hoping that if Josh reminds me what he has to offer, Bentley will somehow seem less consuming, less important. I just need to forget his touch. But the harder Josh pounds inside of me, the more I wish it was Bentley moving in and out of me.

              This thought alone sends my building orgasm crashing through me. And as Josh finds his own release and stills inside of me, I know that not only have I successfully made a huge mistake by sleeping with Josh, I am also fully aware that it was the thought of Bentley inside of me that brought me to my release.

              I try to hide my shame over that fact as Josh slips out of me and gently sets me to my feet. Dropping his forehead to mine, he takes a couple deep breaths before speaking. “I'm sorry.” He says, pulling back to look into my eyes. “I don't know what got into me.” He gives me a weak smile and shrugs, causing my guilt to triple in that one small second.

              “It's okay.” I say, doing my best to reassure him. And it is okay. He's upset. He has a right to be. Just because there is no commitment here, doesn't mean that we don't care for each other, at least on some level. Though I am starting to believe his feelings run much deeper than I originally suspected.

              Stepping back, he fixes his pants while I grab mine from the floor and quickly slip them back on. The moment I am finished, I look up to find him staring at me. “What?” I ask, smiling at him.

              “You are so beautiful.” He says, leaning his backside against his desk and crossing his arms in front of his chest.

              “And you are getting all mushy on me.” I tease him.

              “Mushy?” He questions, tilting his head to the side on a laugh. “Is that so?”

              “It is.” I sigh playfully. “What am I going to do with you?” I shake my head at him when his eyes turn dark. “Not happening.” I laugh when he fakes innocence.

              “What did Mr. Reed want anyways?” I ask, trying to act like I don't actually care and that I am just asking out of curiosity more than anything else.