You Are Mine (25 page)

I move next to him. The portrait is of
a woman, a rare one because she isn't pregnant, sitting next to a
table of flowers, smiling. Her expression is so genuine, I can't
help but wonder who she is.

“
Chancellor Jacob's wife
before she got sick,” he says.

“
She's lovely.”

“
Indeed. There's something
I need to tell you.” He shifts, but continues staring at the
picture. As I wait to hear, my trepidation increases. “Your
sister's injury was a magical one. A potent, magical one. It's
contained now.”

I twirl a stray lock of hair, then
brush it back. “Would you please tell me about it,
Zade?”

He turns to me, his brows lifted. “Are
you sure you want to hear about it?”

No. “Yes.”

For a moment, his gaze pierces mine,
like he knows I don't want to hear this, but I need to. “Very well.
From the injury described, I was expecting to find a sprain or
pulled muscle, something like that. There was nothing. Physically,
your sister's fine. She hasn't had an injury in six
months.”

She hasn't been beaten since I lived
at Father's. The news should comfort me, but it doesn't.

“
After I kept searching,”
he continues, “I noticed an unusual type of magic all the way
through her, with a high concentration around her leg.” He pauses
to gauge my reaction. Despite my feelings, I keep my features
schooled. “I studied the negative energy there and realized the
magic surrounding all of her was a type of pain spell. She's been
in constant, severe pain since the spell was cast.”

My stomach churns. I lean against the
wall, wishing there was a place to sit down. “How long has she been
suffering?”

“
Don't know for sure, but
it's been some time. There has been a little variance on the amount
of pain.”

The sick feeling completely engulfs
me. “I wish I'd never left the house.”

The hall is silent. I can't believe I
said that out loud, no matter how true it is. Father's wrath was
directed at me more often than not. And when it wasn't, I could
usually get it there. It's not surprising he picked someone new
with me gone. What else did I expect to happen?

Zade moves closer to me and puts a
hand on my shoulder. “This isn't your fault.”

I clamp my jaw shut. He's wrong. All
wrong. A few tears escape me. I clench my fist and hold my breath,
but they keep coming. Soon, I'm crying in earnest.

He sweeps me into his arms and strides
through the hall. What's he doing? I'm embarrassed, but the tears
won't stop. I bury my head in my hands. With a twitch of his hand
beneath my knees, a spell opens a door. He sits and pulls me close
to him, rubbing my back.

My heart aches with tears. His actions
only spur them on harder. Embarrassment fills me. Why can't I
control myself? I've always been able to keep my tears under
control. After a few painful minutes, they slow.

“
I suspect you've needed
to do that for far too long.” He tilts my face toward his. With a
kerchief, he dabs at my tears. Something warm flickers in me. The
warmth grows until heat burns my cheeks. I climb from his lap, as
dignified as I can.

I clear my throat and sit on the couch
opposite of him. The heat recedes, but not as quickly as I'd like.
That can never happen again. Though I'm sure he won't forget my
weakness, I act as though it never came. “Thank you for helping
Bethany.”

“
It was nothing. I wish it
wasn't needed in the first place.”

“
I'm grateful she's here
now. We'll get her settled and hopefully things will be better.” I
can't allow myself to think of what may be happening to my other
sisters. It's out of my control.

I inch to the edge of the sofa, but he
says, “Wait a moment, please. There's something else I wanted to
talk to you about.”

“
What is it?”

His hand clenches. “While I was
healing her, I found out that she's been spelled to spy on us,
though she's not aware of it. Everything she learns will be
recorded through a spell that allows the caster to see and hear
anytime he desires it.”

“
Father.” I jump to my
feet and pace the room. “I can't get away from him and now my
sisters are caught between us more than ever.” Strange how everyone
always speaks of the Envadi spying on us, but it's only other
Chardonians who actually seem to do it. I stop and turn to face
him. “Cynthia was talking about the ball and our rooms and our lack
of chores. He'll know you've healed her.”

“
Yes.”

“
I don't think he would
care much except I'm the one that begged you to. If he finds out
it'll be seen as a weakness.” For a warlock, it is a weakness. But
it feels like strength. I take a step closer to him. “Why did you
do it?”

“
A better question is, how
could anyone not do it?”

His face doesn't hint of a smile or
laugh hiding behind his sorrow. He's serious. It was the right
thing to do in his mind. I slouch against the sofa. How can he be
like this? It should be a test of how long I'll continue being
willful. As soon as I believe he really means his kindness, he'll
transform it into punishment, but he hasn't yet. He moves to levels
of compassion I've never seen. I've never had someone test me this
long before. Can he really be so kind to a woman?

“
Do you think your Father
will demand her return?”

I shake my head. “I don't
know.”

“
We'll hope it doesn't
come to that. Do you have any idea why he's so intent on spying on
us?”

“
No idea. Why are you even
asking me?”

“
You've grown up here.
You'd know things like that better than me.”

“
Us women aren't told
things like that. What do you think?”

His fist raps against the arm rest a
few times. “Venturing a guess, just a guess, I'd say it's two fold.
If he can discredit the barbaric Envadi that has snuck onto the
council, it would gain him much favor. At council meetings, he
makes his dislike for me very apparent.”

“
That sounds like him. He
never says much about his job, but I know he was hoping to be one
of the next Chancellors.” It's strange to discuss warlock issues,
but somehow natural at the same time. I want to learn more. “What's
the second part of guess?”

“
You. The law is a little
different if I'm an unsuitable owner. If he can find and prove that
I've broken the law before we marry and you become pregnant, you'd
be returned to his ownership. He'd have the chance to arrange
another marriage that would benefit him.”

There's another way out of the law
besides me becoming tarnished? Looking at Zade now, I'm not sure if
that would be to my determent or aid. I'm still uncertain about
him, but more hopeful than I've ever been. I know I never want to
be owned by Father again. “I didn't know I was so valuable to
him.”

“
Very much so. If I were
to die or be discredited enough to be kicked off the council and
exiled from the country, he would get some of my money and
possessions. Unless he's also rendered incapable, then it would go
to the next closest relative.”

Everyone else is dead. But it doesn't
matter, Father isn't going anywhere.

He says. “Can you see why Councilman
Stephen would be eager for something to happen to me? Not only
would he have some of my money and possessions, but he'd be able to
obtain even more power and money with another
son-in-law.

“
He's renewed the
application for your entrance into the marriage pool, just in case
something should happen to me. Many of those previously seeking
your hand who haven't found a wife are aware and have been
encouraged to keep an eye on me.”

The thought of being in the marriage
pool again, having to put up with someone like Thomas instead of
Zade sickens me, but with under-lying flames of anger. No wonder
his life is being threatened. “Do you know our laws well enough not
to break them?”

“
I do.”

“
No Chardonian would have
healed Bethany. You aren't from here and you act like
it.”

“
Trust me, I'm very aware.
But you might be surprised by some of your countrymen,” he says. “I
know the laws. I can keep up well enough in public. I'll just have
to be more careful at home than I was already.” After a moment's
hesitation, he says, “Especially with you.”

Not me. I knew it sounded
too good. I don't want to do this. Anything else but this. But he
just healed Bethany. I have to. “
Are
you...did you want to leave a bruise now or later?”

Zade springs from the chair, his face
contorted with anger. “I'm not going to hurt you. I won't go back
on my word.”

“
But the laws.”

“
The laws say nothing about beating and hexing women.
Nothing.”

Shock jolts through me. “It
doesn't?”

“
No.”

My whole life, I thought
Father had to punish women. We are such an unwieldy gender, he
needed to at least take one of us in hand. “How–how can it not say
that? I thought
—
He
always
—
”
I try to gather my thoughts. “What does it say?”

“
It says a lot, but little on women. Estate things like I
mentioned. It says once married she must bear children, or her
husband may tarnish her. The only other things are about your
engagement and wedding ceremony which you already know or I can't
reveal.”

“
Nothing about punishments?”

“
Not one, single, thing.” He paces the length of the room and
mumbles, “This is exactly why I
—”
He shakes his
head.

After a few minutes of watching him
pace the floor and trying to wrap my mind around the new concept, I
ask, “What did you mean then about being careful with
me?”

The pacing stops. His cheeks pink. “I
meant something more along the lines of getting caught kissing
again.”

“
That's a law? Father
never behaved as such.”

“
Yes, but your Father
isn't about to be married and already has children.”

My own cheeks heat. “So, it's like the
same reason you wanted to kiss me in front of Phyllis.”

“
Yes. The law that has to
do with you bearing children. It's expected that I'm to be anxious
for it.” He clears his throat.

“
I suppose I understand
what they mean.” I grip the arm rests feeling a little anxious
myself, though exactly why I can't say. “Are you sure it's
necessary?”

A mirthless laugh escapes him. “You
offer to let me hurt you, but don't want to kiss me?”

The memory of his lips pressed against
mine surfaces. The comfort there. And something else. Do I want to
kiss him? The room grows hot. Not really wanting to talk about it,
but sort of hoping we will, I shrug.

He snorts. “Forget I mentioned
it.”

Air rushes past me as he storms from
the room, not bothering to close the door behind him. I stare after
him long after he's gone, my lips tingling.

Chapter
Twenty-Four

I
hurry to finish my breakfast so I don't have to be around
Zade longer than necessary. Still, the meal drags on. The silence
has grown uncomfortable between us. Prickly. Perhaps it only
bothers me. He eats as if nothing's wrong, even taking his time
over a cup of warm milk. Like there aren't people trying to kill
him. It's unbearable. At least when Father grew silent at meals I
knew what to expect.

I don't finish my chocolate before
excusing myself. Once out of the dining hall, I stroll through the
manor, then the gardens. The morning sun's warmth soothes my skin.
I head for the fountain in the middle of the garden. It's becoming
my favorite. Halfway there, Cynthia and Bethany come into
view.

Bethany looks as good as I remember.
Better actually. More relaxed, but there's more of a change than
that. The last of her baby fat has thinned from her cheeks. Her
dark green dress fitted until her waist where it fans out. She
looks like a woman.

“
How are you feeling this
morning?” I ask. “Any lingering pain?”

“
I'm fine. Thank you for
getting Chancellor Zade.”

Fine except for the spy spell
lingering on you. I wish I could tell her about it. Instead I have
to minimize what she knows. What she could pass on to
Father.

“
I only told him you had a
limp. He insisted on fixing it himself, though I'm sure your
gratitude was be appreciated.” Usually lying isn't so bad. I've
done it often enough to Father. Never once have I felt guilty for
telling one, until now. This is so different and much worse. It
feels like it's eating at me from the inside. I can't think like
this. Lying to Bethany is like lying to Father, for now at least.
The reminder doesn't help.

No one speaks. It really hits me that
my sisters are only allowed to be here to spy on me. I can't trust
them with anything, and as soon as Father has no further need for
spying on us, they'll go home. If his plans turn out like he wants,
I'll be going home with them. My stomach churns at the
thought.