You Belong With Me (23 page)

"Oh shit." Casey said. She opened the door to her house and they all walked in. Tommy and Lyla put the flowers on her dining table. All the cards said almost the same thing. He was sorry, forgive him, please talk to him. Carter paced around the house and went to the refrigerator and grabbed a beer. He chugged the whole thing.

"Lond. Welcome back. How was your trip?" Tommy asked.

"Great, just great." He mumbled.

Casey rolled her eyes and threw away all the cards Jordan had sent.

"So what are you going to tell Jordan Case?" Lyla asked.

Carter walked into the dining room. "She's going to tell him that she loves me and they weren't meant to be and he'll go take a fucking leap off the causeway," Carter snapped.

Casey threw her head in his direction. "Don't tell me what I'm going to say to him, Carter. I'll say what needs to be said. You don't speak for me. Ever. Are we understood?"

Lyla and Tommy sensed the tension.

"OK, then. We will be at my house. Casey, call if you guys want to do beers and catch up later."

Casey answered her. "Ok," but she never took her eyes off an angry Carter. Lyla and Tommy left and Carter and Casey stood in silence for a few minutes.

"I'm going to take the bags upstairs," he said walking out of the room.

She watched him walk away and ran her hands over her face in frustration. She sorted through her mail and threw away the junk and separated some of her bills. She heard Carter come back down the steps. Casey walked into the living room and he stood there holding a box in his hands.

"What's that?" She pointed to the box. His expression was still stoic.

"Come here." He said quietly but demanding. "Sit down, please."

She sat on the sofa and he crouched down to meet her eyes, still holding the mysterious box. He cleared his throat.

"From the time I saw you standing in that crowd nine years ago, I looked at you like you were the last person on this earth. When I talked to you, I saw your eyes and got completely lost in them. When I fucked up any chances of us being together, it was the worst decision I had ever had made in my life. Being your friend was my only option. I never thought I would be here today looking at you again like I always have, but the difference is you are looking at me the same way. It's so simple to love you, Casey. I couldn't imagine my life without your friendship, now I can't imagine my life without your love." He handed her the box. "I didn't know how to do this. It' the only way I know how. Open it."

Casey had no idea what was in the box. Her heart hammered away in her chest at the anticipation of what the contents were. She slowly opened it and undid the tissue paper. Inside were a pair of white, high top Converse sneakers. These were unlike any other she had ever seen. She pulled them out and encrusted in different colored jeweled studs were the words
Marry Me.
One word on each shoe. She looked up at him and her jaw dropped. She was silent and he searched her face for some kind of response. Whether it was with her eyes or her words, nothing was there.

"Carter," she said softly, " I don't understand."

"Casey, I'm not the type of man who does ordinary things. I'm not traditional. When I do things I do them to please others. I know your not the kind of person who expects things. I know how you appreciate the...well simple things. I had these made when I was on tour. The same guy who did your other pair before I left, did these. I will buy you a ring. Anything you want, but these are you, Casey. They are meant for you. Please say you belong with me and make me the happiest man on this earth. Marry me, Casey."

She looked up at him and went to speak. She had no idea what to say. Her mind was trying to process what he had just said to her. Never would she have thought they would be at this point. The words kept running through her head like a freight train.
Marry me, marry me, marry me...
Casey's didn't have time to respond because at that moment a knock was at the door. She jumped and the shoes went falling to the floor. Carter bent down and picked them up. She stammered for words.

"I... I have to get that." She made her way to the door and left Carter still on his knees. She opened the door to find Jordan standing there.

"Jordan. What are you doing here?"

"Casey, please. I need to apologize to you for so much. Can we talk?"

Jordan looked past her to see Carter on the floor holding the shoes. Casey looked over her shoulder at Carter and gently pushed Jordan out the door.

"I'll be right back," she turned and told Carter. Casey closed the door and stood on the porch.

"Jordan, we do need to talk but not here."

"OK. Let's talk in my car. Is that ok?" She nodded.

They made their way to his Range Rover. Jordan opened the door for her and she climbed in. When he got in he leaned over to kiss her cheek. She allowed it, but then there was silence.

"Casey, before you say anything I need to apologize for everything. My father's behavior, his words, the lack of action on my part to stop it. I'm so sorry. Please say you forgive me and we can start over again. Casey, I love you. You mean so much to me. Please say you love me and forgive me."

Casey started to cry. She wiped her tears away knowing what she had to say would hurt him and that was something she didn't want but it was inevitable.

"Jordan, there are some things you should know. The day after the party, Carter and I went away and.." She couldn't look at him. She wasn't ashamed about what happened between her and Carter, but yet, felt the guilt because she wasn't that person. Someone who cheats. Jordan saw everything he needed to know by her face.

"Did something happen, Casey? Between you and Carter?"

She started to sob uncontrollably. Her breathe hitched and she tired to control her emotions but it was too late.

"Ye... yes.. it.. did." She stuttered as her tears fell.

Jordan looked straight ahead and gripped the steering wheel and let out a sigh.

"Did you fall in love with him, Casey?"

She nodded yes. No words were spoken. There was just the sounds of their breathing.

"I thought so," he said quietly.

"What do you mean?" She asked. He turned to her.

"Casey, a blind man could have seen this coming. I'm a smart man but not too smart in the ways of the heart to be honest. I think I knew it from the time I saw you two together. The way you look at him, you never looked at me that way, the way you talk about him, the way you tell stories about the two of you. I think I tried to ignore it. When he sang that song at my parents, I... I knew it was meant for you. I don't think I wanted to see what was right in front of me."

"Jordan, I am so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I swear. I did love you. I do love you. It's just, It's..." She looked at him and searched his face for forgiveness.

"I know, Casey. I know. He said sadly. "I'll always love you, Casey. You are a special person and I'll never forget you." He stayed silent for a few moments. "I think I need to leave. I'm sorry but I can't stay here."

"Jor.." She interrupted her.

"No, Casey. It's ok. I'll be ok. I just need to go." He grabbed her hand and kissed the top of it. She bent over and kissed his cheek gently. There was nothing more to say. She opened the door and exited the car. She walked up towards her house. When she looked back, Jordan had already pulled out of the driveway and backed out onto the street. He glanced up at her and gave her a small smile. He pulled away and she opened the door and walked back in the house. Carter stood there waiting for her.

"Are you ok?'" he asked.

"Not now, Carter. Please." She made her way to the kitchen and grabbed a beer from the refrigerator.

"Case, we need to talk about this. You never answered my question."

She chugged her beer down and gave him a chuckle. " Oh yea, what question is that Carter?"

"Will you marry me?" What he said triggered an emotion she was not prepared to deal with.

She threw the beer bottle against the wall and it shattered everywhere.

"Jesus Christ, Casey! What is wrong with you?"

She ran her hands furiously through her hair and scrunched it up in her fists. He wanted an answer. She felt smothered by his question. Didn't he understand what just happened? What she just did was hard and he didn't understand. She felt like she couldn't breathe. "You stand here Carter after all this time, all these years and now with your true feelings exposed. You expect me to just throw my arms around you and tell you 'yes' and shut my feelings off for someone I just broke up with five-seconds ago.You want an answer, Carter? Is that what you want? A fucking answer? The answer is no! I can't marry anyone right now. I just broke someones' heart and I feel awful and dirty for doing it. Why couldn't you have just told me nine years ago, then I wouldn't be in this mess? You wanted a fucking answer Carter, well you got it!" She screamed the words to him and ran up to her bedroom.

Carter stood there with anger brimming in his chest. He ran up after her.

"NO!" He yelled. " You won't marry me? Fine, if you're not ready, I'll wait Casey. As long as you want. I'll give you all the time you need. Just don't stop loving me."

Her laughter resonated through the room. She felt out of control, angry, and confused. She went over to her dresser and looked in the mirror. She saw him standing behind her, searching her face for some kind of reasoning. He made his way towards her and she felt like an elephant was sitting upon her chest. She began to breath rapidly and dizziness overwhelmed her. She took her hand and swiped at the perfume bottles and pictures frames that were on top of her dresser. All of them crashing onto the floor and shattering.

"What the fuck are you doing, Casey? Stop it!" He bent over and started to pickup the glass on the floor. She seethed with anger and gasped for air.

"You can't be here, Carter. I can't have you here. I... I need to think. You need to give me space. I need time."

The look on his face almost broke her heart. Anguish appeared and she knew he was in hell but she needed him to go away. She needed to escape and think.

They just stood there, panting in silence.

"How long, Casey? How much time do you need?" He pleaded with her. "Please, tell me. I can't take this, baby."

"I have no fucking idea, Carter! Don't pressure me! Next week, next month, next year, maybe never. I don't have a clue. Just... just go." He stood there and watched his whole world crash around him.

"Maybe, never? You don't mean that, baby. You're just upset, it will pass." He went to approach her but as he got closer she shoved at his chest and slapped his face. He felt the sting but still stood there firm until she yelled at him again.

"It will pass? You think it's so easy? You break someones' heart Carter. See how you feel after. I can't stand you smothering me. I need you to leave." Carter remained in the same spot. His legs, firmly planted. He went to approach her again. She backed away. "Get out now, Carter! Now Damn it! I don't want you here." She turned her back and he reluctantly walked out of the room. He went into the guest room and quickly packed his suitcase and gathered his things from the bathroom. When he was finished, he walked down the hall and passed Casey's room. He looked in to find her still standing in front of her window, looking out onto the street. She was silent. He walked down the steps and placed her spare key on the coffee table and exited the house. He had no idea where to go or what to do. He remembered Tommy was at Lyla's. He walked across the few lawns to her house. He knocked on the door. Tommy opened it and Carter collapsed in his arms sobbing. The war was over. Who ever said all's fair didn't know shit.

CHAPTER 12

Crazy Bitch

Casey rolled over in her bed and looked at the clock. She moaned at the time it read. Fourteen hours of sleep. She moaned and buried her face into her pillow again. Exhaustion had made a menace of any rational decisions she was to make. She didn't want to make any. Not right now. The only one she did was call out of work for the first time in five years. She told her supervisor that she had the full blown flu and she wouldn't be in for the rest of the week. Her eyes stung and her throat was dry and hurt. It was already Wednesday night and it had been a whole day since Carter had left. She struggled to get up and move to the bathroom. When her feet hit the floor she saw the broken bottles of perfume. The whole room smelled of Magnolias, and there were still chards of glass on the floor. She bent down to pick them up and one piece cut her. She ran into the bathroom to rinse it and check to see if there was any signs of glass imbedded in her finger. After she rinsed it, she looked up at her reflection in the mirror. Casey looked like a character in one of her favorite horror movies. Her eyes were swollen and streaks of faded mascara cascaded down her cheeks. Her pupils looked fixed and the whites of her eyes were crackled red in color. She splashed cold water on her face but it didn't help her case. She made her way back to her bed in order to sleep more time away. Not that it would do any good.

Casey picked up her phone from the bedside table and saw she had fifteen missed calls, mostly from Lyla. She didn't want to deal with a million questions from her, so she powered it down and pulled the covers back over her head.

Carter woke to the smell of stale beer and cigarettes. Tommy kicked his bed to stir him.

"Lond. Get up man. Rehearsal time. We have to meet Jake in an hour."

Carter rolled over and stretched. He rubbed his eyes with his hands and looked around at the hotel room.

"What time is it?" he asked.

"Almost 5."

"In the fucking morning. Leave me alone, Tommy. It's too fucking early."

"Five at night, dumbass. You've been asleep since midnight last night. Come on. Here's a coffee."

He sat up in bed and slammed his head against the head board. Tommy handed him and he sipped the much needed coffee.

"Fuck. Did I dream it all?" The reality of what happened between him and Casey set in.