Read You Can Run but You Can't Hide Online
Authors: Duane Dog Chapman
get the bad guy as much as we did. I also knew I needed a Mexican
cop with me if the bust went down. Without one, taking Luster
would be illegal.
Howard was in constant contact with the FBI. Retired agents
were calling and faxing him for updates. The CIA was also watch-
ing our every move. Howard received e-mails detailing how they
could land a plane on the road outside Costa Custodio if we needed
them. I’m not surprised that both law enforcement agencies were
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gung ho in offering their help to make the grab. Experience told me
they’d take Luster and then rob me of the bounty and credit for the
capture. I was not interested in that scenario.
Once I was in Mexico, I realized Andrew Luster was such a huge
fish, he was slipping out of my hands. Howard was working with
the FBI and CIA, Min and Mona were working with local officials,
which meant my team was the redheaded stepchild.
I called Beth to talk it over. I assured her I believed Carrera was
Luster. Beth told me she believed her e-mail account had been
hacked into for information too. She thought it might have been
other bounty hunters looking for Luster, until John Walsh and
America’s Most Wanted
showed up in Puerto Vallarta. There was
no way they could have known where to look for Luster unless they
were privy to the same information we had. I felt we were losing
control over the hunt.
Another day went by, and still, no sign of Luster.
Despite the promise that Costa Custodio would be well-stocked
with food, there was barely anything to eat. Our bodies were weak-
ening from hunger. We were in the middle of a huge waiting game,
with nothing to do but hope Luster showed. I decided to take in
some sun. I don’t know how long I was sleeping, but I awoke to the
touch of Mona’s hand on my arm. I opened my eyes and saw she
was holding a needle.
“My God, honey. What the hell are you doing?” I had no idea
what was in the syringe.
“I want to give you a shot of Vitamin B . You look so tired. This
12
will help you stay strong.” Anyone holding a syringe is unnerving,
even your doctor. It made me really uncomfortable to see Mona
with one. Mona liked her drinks so I’m not sure she knew what she
was doing. Tim was sitting outside with me too. Jokingly, I told
him I’d take the shot if he did. Needless to say, we wouldn’t let her
near us with her needle.
By the end of the day, it was obvious Luster wasn’t coming. I
wanted Mona to call again, but we had to be careful not to scare
him away. This time I asked Howard if he could record the call on
camera. He loved the idea. In fact, he had a device that could cap-
ture sound from both sides of the conversation. He set it up. Mona
made the call.
“
Hola,
David. It’s Mona.”
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“Mona! Hi!” David sounded pleasantly surprised to hear her
voice. Howard just about wet himself because he knew we were get-
ting this all on tape.
“I am so sorry for not coming today. I had some business in
Guadalajara.” To convince Luster he needed to come, Mona told
him someone else was looking at the property.
“That’s too bad,” she said. “We wanted to see you. Min has some
other properties to show you. Is there another day you’d like to
come by?”
“How about Sunday?” Mona said that would be fine.
Two more days of waiting. I was growing frustrated by the lack
of progress. I also knew the clock was ticking down on my promise
to deliver Luster in seven days.
After the call, Howard wanted to check the voice we recorded
against footage we had of Luster speaking in court. Fernando, our
soundman, set up the tape so we could play clips back to back. He
played the conversation over and over, comparing it to the film
footage. After several minutes, Fernando looked up.
“It’s a match. It’s definitely him.” For the first time since we ar-
rived in Mexico, I really believed we weren’t on some wild goose
chase. Howard was ecstatic. The guys and I needed this positive rein-
forcement to keep our spirits up. Doubt had been slowly seeping in.
The next morning, I asked Mona about the big river that ran
into the ocean behind the house. She told me it was an incredible
five-mile hike down the mountain, through the jungle, and into the
valley.
“Once you get there, it’s paradise. We keep a couple of kayaks
down there. Min and I use them all the time.” I thought it might be
fun to get out and do something with the guys. Later that day,
Mona insisted I take Boris, Leland, and Tim down the trail. She
was practically badgering us to go.
What the hell. It sounded like fun and it was definitely a good
way to fill the time waiting for Luster. We made the hike and found
a couple of two-man kayaks at the bottom of the trail. The water
was shallow, though, too shallow to get very far. Boris stuck his
paddle in the sand to see if it was firm enough to walk on. It sank.
“Quicksand!” he yelled.
We paddled like hell to get out of there. I never worked so hard
in my life. All of a sudden, I noticed the current begin to change.
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Boris shouted to turn back. The water was so deep, it turned black.
I couldn’t see the bottom. I thought Boris and Tim were going to
get washed away because their kayak was spinning out of control.
I turned to Leland and said, “If we don’t make it up this stream,
we’re going to die, son. Row your brains out!”
We finally reached the water’s edge. We jumped out and stood
safely on the shore. Just as Boris stepped out of his kayak, a scor-
pion stung him on his ankle. He started screaming and running. I
didn’t see him until the next day. Boris wasn’t cut out for this kind
of adventure.
We struggled with those kayaks. Unusually so. I couldn’t figure
out what went wrong. Tim kept saying the kayaks were too heavy.
That night, Howard decided to throw in the towel. He felt Lus-
ter was on to us and would never show. In fact, he thought he might
even be playing with us. I didn’t want to admit it, but I sort of
agreed. Howard said he felt like he was in Vegas, gambling away his
life savings on a bad hand of poker. It was time to walk away from
the table. Howard pulled everyone out, but Jeff, our cameraman,
stayed.
Jeff came to me to see how certain I was about catching Luster.
He explained that his wife was pregnant. If he stayed, he was on his
own dime. I told him I was as sure as I am that bears crap in the
woods. That guy let his balls hang on his own dime to film the bust.
The next morning, Tim and I went back down the trail to check
those kayaks. We turned them over and discovered six little holes
had been drilled into the bottom. Those sons of bitches were filled
with water! Tim was beyond mad. His blood was boiling at the
thought that someone was trying to harm us. It took an hour to
calm him. Luster was supposed to come later that day. We were too
close to fuck it up now.
When we got back up to the house, Mona was her crazy self. She
was mumbling something about how much she hated cooking for
ten men. I was guessing she had started partying before everyone
else. We all calmed her down. She had to be brought back to earth.
I needed her to call Luster one last time.
“Honey, please call him to see if he’s coming.”
Mona got him on the phone, but she couldn’t stay focused. She
asked him when he was coming.
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“I’m in Puerto Vallarta. Why do you need to know?” Luster was
obviously suspicious.
Mona got very flustered. She began to fumble her words.
I whispered, “Ask him if he can bring rolling papers when he
comes.”
She turned to me and said, “What?”
“Hang up. Damn it, Mona!” I couldn’t believe she showed our
hand. There was no way Luster didn’t hear her talking to me.
She began to cry. She blew it. Luster would never come to Costa
Custodio now. I tried to calm her down, but she couldn’t stop crying.
I finally went to bed, hoping tomorrow would bring better results.
C h a p t e r F o r t y - e i g h t
The next mor ning,
I got up at seven o’clock, much earlier
than usual. Mona was nowhere to be found. When I confronted
Min, he said she bought a wig and had gone to Puerto Vallarta to
hunt Luster down herself. I just about shit.
That double-crossing bitch.
“Tim! Leland! Wake up! We’ve gotta go,
now
!” I told the boys
what was happening. Just then, Filiberto walked into the house. I
asked him if he was officially on duty. He said he was. I asked him
to go with Tim and Leland. They needed to get to Puerto Vallarta,
find Mona, and get her off the streets.
I sent the others ahead. Boris and I didn’t go. The hunter stayed
put. I didn’t want to get caught bounty hunting Mona in Mexico.
Luster was a fugitive, wanted by the United States government.
Mona was just a crazy, wild woman trying to double-cross me. It
was better to let the Mexican cop go after her.
Boris and I went out for a couple of beers while we waited to
hear from the boys. They were supposed to call when they made
contact with Mona. We sat in the bar for hours. At one point, a
couple of Mexicans walked in, stink-eyeing Boris and me. They
were two mean-looking Vatos. One guy was shorter than the other,
with a bushy mustache. The taller guy was as big as he was tall. His
belly hung over his giant scorpion belt buckle.
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The fat guy turned to me and said, “You gonna buy me a beer,
gringo?”
I stood up, looked him square in the eye, and said, “Say what?”
“I said, you gonna buy me a beer?”
I puffed up my chest and said, “You’re gonna shit and fall back
into it, José.”
“My name is not José.”
“I don’t give a rat’s ass what your name is, Esse. I ain’t no gringo,
I’m an Indian.”
Boris was shaking, thinking we were about to get our asses
kicked.
“Boris, relax. They ain’t gonna do nothing. They think I can
whoop their ass. Just shut up and act cool.”
The fat guy ordered double tacos and burritos and sent them
over to us.
“Courtesy of the man down the bar, Perro.” Food is always a
good way to get in good with the locals. I drank two Coronas, try-
ing to make the best of our wait.
And then I got a call that would change the course of my life
forever.
“Perro. It’s Filiberto. I seen him. Luster.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“
Sí.
Min showed up and found Mona. Mona was cruising with
her stepdaughter, Gina.” Gina lived in Puerto Vallarta. She knew
the bar scene. They were out looking for Luster when the boys
caught up with them.
I looked at Boris and said, “We’ve got to go.” We jumped in our
rented black SUV and made the two-hour drive in less than sixty
minutes. Boris was literally on the floorboard lying in fetal position
and screaming the entire drive.
I called Leland to ask if he thought it was Luster they saw.
“One hundred and ten percent, Dad.” My heart was racing as
fast as we were driving. When Leland said that, I knew we had him.
By the time I got to Puerto Vallarta, the team had spotted and
lost Luster a couple of times. When I connected with Leland and
Tim, they pointed to a bar across the street.
“He’s in that bar, right there.” Leland pointed with his forefinger.
I sent Tim inside to see if it was Luster. He came back and told me
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he looked like a troll under a bridge as he walked around looking in
women’s drinks to see if he could find another potential victim.
Just then, Leland spotted him walking out of the bar and onto
the crowded street. I focused in on three or four large guys with
bandanas around their heads surrounding a very tall American.
It couldn’t see his face. Tim and Leland caught a glimpse, though.
They knew it was Luster. He was flanked by his bodyguards and had
apparently changed his shirt from the one he was wearing when Le-
land saw him go into the bar. He must have sensed we were getting
close.
Much to my surprise, Luster stepped out of his protective cir-
cle. I needed to distract the bodyguards so I could keep Luster
alone. I saw a couple of pretty hookers standing on the corner next
to me.
“Come here, baby.” I motioned them over. “I’ll give you twenty
bucks if you take your shirts off and walk by those guys over there.”
Apparently, the girls didn’t quite get what I asked them to do. In-
stead of walking past the goons, they walked right up to them,
stopped, and started talking to them. Dumb-ass hos! It didn’t work.
The guys talked to them for a few minutes, and then they moved