You Found Me (118 page)

April
2
4
t
h
, 2008

So
today
is
my
birthday.
Cant
say
Im
really happy
about
it,
which
Ive
made
explicit
to
all
my friends
and
family.
I
don't
understand
the
purpose of
celebrating
the
day,
but
Ive
said
that
so
many times
my
head
is
starting
to
spin.

Why
did
Mom
have
to
die?              Im
still
confused about
this.
I
wish
this
hadnt
happened,
especially so
close
to
my
birthday.
People
are
going
to
be asking
questions,
seeing
how
things
are
going
and all
sorts
of
crap
I
just
cant
handle.

I
just
want
today
to
be
over.
I
have
a surprise
party
tonight,
which
I
have
no
intention of
going
to.
Is
that
bad?
How
can
it
be
wrong
to go
to
a
surprise
party
when
I
don't
want
to
be there
or
even
celebrate
the
day
in
itself?

Oh
well...My
only
hope
is
to
make
it
through today.
Im
sure
I
have
other
things
to
hope
for, but
that's
the
main
one
right
now.
I
wanted
to
lay my
head
down
and
sleep
until
tomorrow
morning.
I wanted
to
wake
up
and
see
my
world
back
in
one piece.

I
s
top
p
e
d
typ
i
n
g
a
n
d
r
u
b
be
d
my
e
y
e
s.
I
'd
bee
n
h
a
v
i
n
g
s
o
me
te
r
r
i
b
le
w
r
i
te
r
's
b
l
o
ck
l
a
te
ly
a
n
d
c
ou
ld
n
't
o
v
e
r
c
o
me
i
t
.
I
j
u
st
c
ou
ld
n
't
ge
t
a
n
y
k
i
n
d
o
f
w
r
i
t
i
n
g
t
o
c
o
me
out
,
w
heth
e
r
g
oo
d
o
r
b
ad.
T
o
m
e
, w
o
r
ds
w
e
r
e
th
i
ng
s
th
at
kne
w
I
w
as
c
o
m
i
n
g
a
n
d
did
w
h
at
th
e
y
c
ou
ld
t
o
a
vo
id
m
e
.
I
t
w
as
g
ett
i
n
g
t
o
b
e
a
nn
o
y
i
ng
.
No
,
beyo
n
d
a
nn
o
y
i
ng
.
F
r
u
s
t
r
a
t
i
ng
, c
on
f
u
si
n
g
a
n
d j
u
st
p
l
a
in
exh
a
u
s
t
i
ng
. 
M
a
yb
e
I
'm j
u
st c
o
m
p
l
a
i
n
i
n
g
f
o
r
noth
i
ng
,
o
r
ma
yb
e
I
a
m
h
a
v
i
n
g
t
r
o
ub
l
e
,
bu
t
c
o
u
ld
n
't
beg
in
t
o
un
d
e
r
s
t
a
n
d
w
h
y
n
o
m
a
tt
e
r
ho
w
m
u
ch
I
w
a
nt
e
d
t
o
kno
w.

I
l
o
o
ke
d
at
w
h
at
I
'd
w
r
i
tte
n
a
n
d
d
eb
a
te
d
a
bo
u
t
go
i
n
g
b
ack
ov
e
r
i
t
a
n
d
c
o
rr
e
c
t
i
n
g
my
li
tt
le
m
i
s
t
a
ke
s.
S
ma
l
l
th
i
ng
s
l
i
k
e
m
i
s
s
e
d c
ont
r
ac
t
i
on
s,
bu
t
I
w
a
s
t
o
o
t
ir
e
d
a
n
d
d
e
c
id
e
d
it
j
u
st
w
a
s
n
't
w
o
r
t
h
i
t
.
I l
ooke
d
at
th
e
cl
o
c
k
.
5
a
m.
I
did
n
't
w
a
nn
a
b
e
a
w
a
k
e
r
i
gh
t
no
w.
I did
n
't
w
a
n
t
t
o
b
e
a
w
a
ke
,
p
e
r
i
o
d.
B
u
t
hey
,
l
i
fe
g
o
e
s
on
.
Th
at
w
a
s
a s
ong
,
bu
t
c
ou
ld
n
't
th
i
n
k
o
f
w
h
at
it
w
as.
Li
k
e
I
s
a
i
d,
I
w
as
t
ir
e
d. I l
ooke
d
at
my
w
r
is
t
s.