You got to Me (Love on Tour #3) (16 page)

Sam walked over to me. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry. You’re right. It’s not dumb.”

“It’s not,” I said.

“So, tell me exactly what the pact was.”

“That we would never marry a rich guy.”

“Okay, so I won’t propose.”

I deflated. He was right, of course.

“Does that really get me off the hook?”

“Sure. Why not? You didn’t make a pact not to have great sex with a rich guy, did you?”

“No.”

He kissed me. “See, no problem.”

21

We were having an impromptu engagement party for Hank and Bell. It was being held in this big room inside the venue Hank and Sean would be playing that night. There had to be a million people in there. I had no idea where they’d all come from. But I’d gathered that a few people had flown out from L.A., including Hank’s AA sponsor, Tim. No Dani, though. Henry had another ear infection, and she was staying at home with him.

I was talking to Tim, who was a sweet middle-aged man, with a serious penchant for personal questions. “So, Lisa, are you dating anyone?”

I stared at him.

He laughed. “Don’t worry, I’m not trying to hit on you. You just seem very relaxed. Often, I find that is the result of a close personal relationship.”

“Do you always ask questions like this?”

“I’m a psychologist,” he said.

That made so much more sense now. And in a way I was glad he was there. I was so emotionally unstable lately. Between busting in on Hank’s proposal and flipping out over Sam’s money, I was feeling out of control. I hated to pin it on this, but maybe it was hormonal. I wondered if I wasn’t going through the change very, very early. After all, I was infertile for some unknown reason. Who knew what was going on inside my body? So I figured, talking to a shrink wouldn’t hurt.

“I’m not really in a relationship,” I told him. “I’m just having a fling… with Sean’s brother.”

I waited to see what his reaction would be. He was an expert, after all. His reaction might mean something.

“Hmmm, I see.”

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing. It’s interesting that you are… having a fling with your sister’s brother-in-law. How did that happen?”

I shrugged.

“Have you ever noticed that we gravitate toward certain people in our lives? What do you think about that, Lisa?”

What the hell was he talking about? I was trying to figure out how to answer this absolutely nonsensical question, when I looked toward Sam, or at least where Sam had been. He’d been standing right beside Hank not thirty seconds ago. But he was gone. I looked around the room for him.

Tim was still waiting for an answer. So, while I scanned the groups of people standing in clumps around the room I said, “Honestly, I don’t know what you mean.”

“We humans are interesting creatures. We have a lot of nature and lot of nurture in us. It’s a widely debated topic, which is stronger. But when it comes to family, it’s all very much blended together…”

I stopped paying attention to Tim, because I saw Sam hugging a woman. When he pulled back, I could see that she was a very beautiful woman. She had long blonde hair, that had just the right amount of sensuous wave to it, not flat and straight like mine. She had these incredibly bright blue eyes, not big brown ones. She was tall, maybe 5’10, and fit into her clothes like a freaking model. Who the hell was she?

“Lisa?” Tim asked.

“Tim, it was so nice to meet you,” I said, ripping my eyes away from Miss Gorgeous to look at him. “But I have to go do something.”

He smiled. “Of course.”

I walked slowly across the room. Sam and the girl were standing by the doorway. They were talking. She was laughing. He was smiling. When I got over there, the girl looked at me, which got Sam’s attention.

“Hey, Leese,” he said, hooking his arm around my waist. “This is Tanya. She and I went to undergraduate together. We were both pre-law at the time. She’s working for a firm in Texas now.”

“Hi, Tanya,” I said, holding out my hand. “Nice to meet you.”

She shook my hand and smiled. “You must be Baby’s sister. You look just like her.”

“Have you met my sister?”

“No, I’ve just seen pictures of her.” Her face changed as she looked at me. She was pleasant one moment, but the next, she was scrutinizing me. There was no other way to describe it. She looked me up and down, her eyes hard.

“Lisa is joining us for the whole tour,” Sam said casually.

Tanya looked back at him. And there it was. The look instantly changed. Her face softened. Her eyes glowed. Oh, shit. She wanted him.

Sam looked at me. “Tanya and I went out for a while,” he explained.

Scratch that. She’d had him and she wanted more. I could relate.

“Wow, um, for how long?”

Tanya pushed her long, stupid, perfect hair behind her shoulder. “Almost two years, I guess, right Sam?”

“I guess,” he said. “Sean will be happy to see you. Let me walk you over there.” Sam gave my waist a little squeeze before letting me go and taking a hold of Tanya’s upper arm. He turned and walked to the other side of the room.

I stood there like a statue. I couldn’t move. My mind was stalled out, too. What the hell was happening? Was I jealous? Shit. I was.

“Lisa,” I heard Tim say.

“Tim, hi,” I said.

“You wanna talk?”

I really needed a shrink right then. I nodded.

“Come on.” He pulled me out of the room and down the hall a little ways.

When we came to a stop I leaned up against the wall.

“What’s going on?”

“I, um, I am
not
in a relationship with that man,” I said vehemently.

“Okay.”

“We’re just sleeping together.”

“Okay.”

“That’s all you got?”

“She was pretty. Who was she?”

This guy was nuts. His conversations were all over the place, and didn’t make any sense.

“His ex-girlfriend, apparently.”

“Hmm, I see.”

“Do you ever say anything productive?”

He laughed. “You sound like Hank, in so many ways right now.”

“What does that mean?”

“Nothing. Listen, you’re jealous. Admit it.”

“Okay, I admit it. She’s freaking gorgeous and she clearly wants a piece of him. I’m jealous.”

“Good.”

“Good! That’s it?”

This man was infuriating.

“You admitted it. That’s important.”

“Why?”

“Because you aren’t doing yourself any favors by denying it.”

“Okay? And?”

“And what?”

“Where do I go from here?”

“What do you want to do?”

“I want to tear her hair out. Then I want to ask him about her.”

“Let’s leave out the violent part,” Tim said calmly. “What are you going to ask him?”

“I have absolutely no idea,” I told him honestly. What was this guy doing to me?

“You must have some idea. I mean, you know you have questions. What are they?”

“I don’t want to tell you.”

“That’s fine. But make the list in your head. Then go get Sam, and take him somewhere quiet. And ask them all.”

“That’s your advice?”

“Yep,” he patted me on the shoulder and went back to the party.

I walked slowly back toward the room. I paused just inside the doorway. It wasn’t hard to find Sam. It was like he had a giant beacon on him. I watched him for a moment. He was standing with Tanya, Sean, and Bell in a little circle. They were all watching as Tanya was talking, her hands flailing in the air, her face full of expression, her stupid hot body leaning toward Sam.

I must have had a beacon on me, too, because even though I wasn’t in his line of sight, Sam turned and saw me standing there. Without even making an excuse or apology, he just walked away and headed for me. I saw Tanya look at his back, her eyebrows all scrunched up.

“Hi, sweetie,” he said softly as he approached me.

“Hi.”

“You don’t look so happy. Let’s go talk, yeah?”

I nodded. Sam put his arm on my waist and pulled me from the room. We went to Sean’s green room and sat on the couch.

“You okay?”

“I have a list of questions in my head, and according to the shrink, Tim, I’m supposed to ask you all of them.”

Sam pushed a piece of hair away from my face and stroked my cheek. “Okay, shoot.”

“Did she come here to hook up with you?”

“I don’t know. It’s possible, I guess. She made a point of telling me she’s single right now.”

“She wants you,” I said. “I could see it in her eyes.”

“Okay, maybe. But I don’t want her.”

“She’s really pretty.”

“Was that one of the questions?”

“Yes, do you think she’s pretty?”

Sam pulled my chin gently with his finger so that I was forced to look him in the eyes. “She’s pretty, Lisa. But you’re beautiful. Way more beautiful that her.”

My stomach felt tight. I should just stop all this right now. But I didn’t want to. I wanted to find out what would happen when I reached the end of the list. In my head I imagined that it would be something magical, like suddenly my life would make sense and bears would dance across my vision.

“Did you love her?”

“I thought so at the time.”

“What does that mean?”

“I guess I did, Lisa. But it’s like I told you before. I think there are degrees. She was not the end all be all. Someone else will be that for me.”

“Did she break your heart?”

“Yes. But looking back, it wasn’t so bad. I was kind of a baby about it. I think there are a lot worse things.”

I was done with my list. And my life didn’t make any sense. There were no dancing bears and I was twice as confused as when it all started.

“Can we go back to the party now?”

Sam smiled at me. “Is that what you want?”

I didn’t have a clue what I wanted. So I nodded.

He kissed me before pulling me off the couch and heading back.

22

It wasn’t until we were in Albuquerque that I told Dani about Miss Gorgeous and the shrink.

“I got jealous.”

“Yeah? What happened?”

“It was at the engagement party. Sam’s ex-girlfriend showed up.”

“I can’t believe you are just telling me about this now.”

“It’s the first time I’ve been alone.”

Sam was at some meeting and I had the hotel room all to myself for a while. When he’d first left, I thought I would be happy about it. I read for a bit, then sat in the quiet by myself. And then, finally, I’d gotten restless and called Dani.

“So who was she? Do I know her?”

“No, she said she never met you. Her name is Tanya. They dated when they were in college.”

“Did he invite her to the party?”

“I don’t know. I never asked him that.”

I had wanted to, of course. But I didn’t think of it until after my twenty questions session, and I felt weird about bringing that up again.

“They’re probably just friends now.”

“Yeah, but she wanted a piece of him. I could tell.”

“I can see that. If I’d broken up with Sean and ran into him years later…”

“Focus, Dani.”

“Sam looks even better now, you know.”

“He does?”

“Yeah, I’ve seen pictures of him in college. I mean, Sam has always been hot. But he was leaner then. Now he’s pretty ripped.”

Next to Sean it might not seem like it, but Sean had ridiculous muscles, hard body muscles. Sam had the look of a man who worked out and took care of himself, but could still fit into a suit if he needed to. My mind wandered to his stomach. I liked to touch it when we were having sex and the muscles were all bunched up and hard… Jesus, I was as bad as Dani. I shook my head and tried to focus.

“Well, she wanted him, alright.”

“And you got jealous?”

“I can’t deny it. She was gorgeous, Dani.”

“So are you.”

“Sam said I was prettier.”

“Of course he did.”

I groaned.

“What exactly is the problem?”

“The problem is, jealousy is not supposed to be in the equation.”

“Ugh, now you’re talking like Roger. Lisa, this isn’t a math problem, it’s love.”

“It’s
not
love!”

“Fine, whatever, it’s a relationship.”

“It’s a fling.”

“Bullshit. You might have gone into it that way, but you know damn well that Sam didn’t. He wanted you from the start, and not just for a one-night stand.”

“I am so stupid.”

“Lisa, you’re being melodramatic. You’re dating a great guy that makes you happy. Quit being so difficult about it.”

“Dating is a strong word.” But it wasn’t really. Sam and I had gone from just having sex, to sharing a room and hanging out together all the time, to actually dating.

In Austin, he’d taken me to an art museum. I figured it was a reaction to the Ken situation, so I went along willingly, a little amused. We’d had an amazing time. He held my hand as we walked slowly through the museum, discussing the different pieces in quiet voices. Afterward, we went to dinner and sat on the porch of the restaurant, slowly nursing drinks and watching the sunset. He’d touched me in some way – my hand, my shoulder, my knee – the whole time.

In Dallas, we went to a bluegrass concert together, just him and me. We talked about the music in a way I’d never done with anyone before. We sang along to popular covers and we danced. I felt like a giddy little girl.

“Sam makes you happy,” Dani said.

“Yes,” I admitted.

“So, why can’t you just go with it?”

I sighed. “I’m just not right for him.”

“That is so not your decision.”

“Fine. He’s not right for me.”

“In what way?”

I was at a loss. I could probably come up with some superficial things, starting with age. But I wasn’t in the mood to make that list anymore. My brain was stalled out on Sam’s voice. He’d given me a CD of him singing with his old college band. It was playing in the background on my computer. Listening to his voice, I couldn’t think of a single reason not to hang onto him.

“Look, Dani, I gotta go.”

“Lisa…”

“I love you. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

****

I knew that I had to let Sam go eventually. The end of the tour seemed like the most practical time. It was like setting a timer on our relationship. If I knew there was a definitive end date, I could simply enjoy what was happening between us without worrying about my extraction plan.

“I think we need to consider the end of the tour, the end of this,” I told Sam.

He was quiet for a long time. He ran a finger along my upper arm and stared at the ceiling. He was naked next to me, so I took the opportunity to run my hand over his stomach. I wouldn’t have much time left to enjoy this.

“You do, huh?” he finally said.

“Yeah, I mean, I’ll be heading home a few days after we get back, and you’ve got your new house and your new career to focus on.”

“And it’s important to you that we have some sort of end date, is it?”

“Yes, it is. I think that setting expectations is good at this point.”

He looked at me. “Because we went off course?”

“Off course?”

“Yeah, it was supposed to be just sex.”

I wanted to tell him that it was still just sex. But I couldn’t tell that big of a lie. I shrugged. “Something like that.”

Sam rolled onto his side to face me. He put one hand on my cheek. “Lisa, listen, I think that we should consider–”

My phone rang. Thank God. I jumped up to grab it. Sam gave me a dirty look.

“Hello.”

“Is this Lisa Roberts?”

“Yes, it is.”

“It’s Gloria Rushton, dear.”

I held my hand over the phone and whispered to Sam. “It’s your mom.”

“Shit.”

“Are you there, dear?”

“Yes, Mrs. Rushton, I’m here.”

“Now, Lisa, it has come to my attention that you and Sam are dating. Is this true?”

I held my hand over the phone. “Someone ratted us out,” I whispered.

“Probably Stacey,” Sam said.

“Um, yes, ma’am.”

“Hmmm. And why didn’t Sam tell me about this?”

“I have no idea.”

“Well it’s very suspicious, don’t you think?”

“I suppose it could be. I guess I’d have to ask him why he didn’t say anything.”

“Sean didn’t mention it either. And I presume he knows, since you are traveling together.”

“Um, yes, ma’am.”

“Umm. Hmmm. That tells me that no one wanted me to know. Perhaps because it’s not very serious?”

“It is quite new,” I said.

“Umm. Hmmm. And how do you intend to proceed?”

“Excuse me?”

“What are your intentions, Lisa? Are you trying to get him to marry you?”

“No!” It might have come across little too harsh.

“And why not?”

“Um, it’s still very new.”

“Well, I want you to consider it.”

“Wh – excuse me?”

“He really needs to settle down, and I think that you would make an excellent partner. You are so much more sophisticated and mature than all the other girls he’s dated.”

“I see.”

“So, think about it. He’s rich, you know. Maybe he didn’t tell you. He has millions in the bank and he’s buying a house in Malibu.”

Oh, I knew all right, and I tried not to think about it.

“I see.”

“Okay dear, if you need any help convincing him that you are the girl for him, you just call me up. You should have my number now. It comes up on your fancy phone, right?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Go ahead and call me Gloria. And maybe someday, Mom.”

“Okay, Gloria.”

“Goodbye, dear.”

I collapsed on the bed. “Oh my God!”

“What did she want?” Sam asked.

“She wanted to give me advice on how to bag you.”

He laughed his ass off. “Bag me? Really?”

I turned on my side and leaned over him. “Apparently, she thinks I’m the right woman for you. You know, because I’m mature and I have my shit together.” I grinned.

Sam put his hand on the back of my head. “She’s right,” he whispered, before kissing me.

Sam was suckling my nipple when I gave him a piece of reality. “I’m not right for you, Sam. You’re young and happy. I’m old and bitter.”

He chuckled. Then he flipped me over so that I was on my back and
he
was hovering over
me
. He pinned my legs with his own and held my hands at my sides. “That’s utter bullshit, Lisa.” Then he started to kiss his way down my neck and chest again.

“I don’t know, Sammy…” I sucked in my breath as he pulled my right nipple deep into his mouth. “Maybe you and I aren’t…”

Then he gave me a little nip with his teeth and looked up at me. “Enough,” he said sternly. Sam put his hand between my legs, while still holding my ankles apart with his feet.

“Holy Shit, Sammy!” I tried to close my thighs against his sensual assault, but he held me open, and he continued to move his fingers until I came, my head thrown back, my eyes looking toward the ceiling.

“Lisa.”

I dipped my head down and looked at him. Sam watched me as he slowly pushed his way inside me.

“Jesus,” I moaned, squeezing my eyes shut.

“Oh no, you don’t,” he growled, coming to an excruciating stop.

My eyes flew open.

“Look at me.” His voice was soft, but demanding.

I obeyed. We stared at each other while he moved. I was immobile, still pinned beneath him, which left me with nothing to do but watch him and feel him. He was everywhere. He was everything.

I felt my orgasm rising again, but I tried to keep it at bay. I didn’t want to be distracted. I was watching every move on Sam’s face now, inhaling every breath. I couldn’t resist, though, and Sam wouldn’t let me. I could see the struggle in his eyes as he held out, waiting for me to come first. When I did, I kept my gaze locked on him.

“Jesus, Sammy,” I breathed.

“Oh, God, Leese,” he moaned as he let go.

I got to see Sam’s face as he came inside me. He didn’t look away, and he didn’t close his eyes. I watched him come apart, and he watched me thoroughly enjoy it. Then he leaned down and kissed me, soft and slow, before rolling off me.

Sam pulled me close to his chest and kissed the top of my head. I sincerely hoped that he wouldn’t say anything, because if he did, I might respond. And right then, if I opened my mouth, I was going to end up telling him how amazing he was. I was going to tell him how I much I wanted to keep him right there next to me, forever.

Luckily for me, Sam didn’t speak. We didn’t return to our conversation about when we were going to break up. We didn’t discuss the fact that his mom wanted us to get married. Instead, we lay there in each other’s arms, utterly content.