You Really Got Me (34 page)

“Why didn’t you restrict access to the lab as soon as Natalia Debarros was discovered to be missing, since that’s the last place she was seen?” a reporter threw out.

Jason calmly responded. “Because we had evidence that showed Ms. Debarros left the lab at four forty-two p.m. on Saturday afternoon. More details about this will come out during the trial. And now Lieutenant Cade Busher can give you more information about the surveillance that was conducted.”

And Jason turned the podium over to another man.

They continued to watch, listening to the details of how the police had followed Wade Krayton everywhere for days. Days when Kendall had been convinced Jason wanted nothing more than to arrest Kevin.

She covered her face with her hands, hot embarrassment sweeping over her as she remembered accusing him of not doing enough to solve the crime, how she’d lost it with him. How he’d tried to convince her Kevin should tell the truth, and she’d thought it was because he wanted to arrest Kevin. Now she thought about it, she could see that his words were intended to help, that he’d wanted her to let go, to let Kevin own up to his mistakes, whatever they were, to let him take responsibility and grow up.

Not because he thought Kevin was a murderer. But because he believed she needed to do that. And he was right.

Oh sweet mother of hell.

The press conference ended and went back to the news anchor in the television studio.

“An unnamed source from the Las Colinas PD has advised that the autopsy of Natalia Debarros indicated she died from traumatic asphyxiation, meaning she was likely choked to death. The source also indicated that police are looking into a possible motive as being competition between Ms. Debarros and Mr. Krayton over their research work and the possibility that particular research materials had been stolen from one of the graduate students.”

“She never stole research!” Kevin burst out.

“They didn’t say that,” Kendall said. “From what I know of Wade, from Dedra, he’s paranoid. He always wanted to know where she was, who she was with. I believe he accused her of cheating on him more than once. He might have suspected Natalia of stealing his research, but that doesn’t mean she did it.”

“Jesus.” Kevin ran a hand over his head.

“Arman’s coming this afternoon,” Kendall told him. “We’re going to put together a statement that he’ll give to the media. You should be here for that.”

“Call my cell when he gets here.” Kevin rose to his feet and carried his plate to the counter. “I’m going back out to the vineyard.”

“Thank you,” she said softly. “I know I should be out there too, but…”

“Don’t worry about it. Everything’s under control.”

She held her lips tight as she nodded. She wanted to be the one in control, as usual, but today it didn’t seem as critically important to her as it usually did. She knew Michael and Garcia and now even Kevin would get the job done, and do it well. She trusted them. She had to let go.

Kevin paused and turned back to her. “Kendall.”

“Yeah?”

“I know you think I should be doing more around here,” he said to the floor. “But I can’t stay.”

“What?” The corners of her eyes tightened. “What do you mean, you can’t stay?”

“I need to go away.” He lifted his eyes. “Half the town thought I killed Natalia. I know, they’ve caught the real killer now, but still. When the truth comes out about what happened, and what I did… I’ve been thinking about it. Natalia’s gone. I feel like I need to get away. Go somewhere else. Start over.”

She stared at him in shock. “Kevin…”

“Try to understand,” he asked quietly. “I really think it’s for the best. I need to figure things out and live my own life.”

“You can live your own life here. I promise, I won’t interfere.”

The corners of his mouth lifted. “I know. But I think it’ll be easier for us if I’m somewhere else.”

He turned and walked out to return to the vineyard. She gazed after him, frozen in place. She’d tried so hard to protect him, when he was all the family she had, and now he was leaving?

But deep inside, she did understand. And she knew she had to let go.

She had to let go of so many things.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Later that evening, Kendall made the drive to Jason’s house once more, along the dark highway. This time she saw no car parked on the side of the road, which she now knew had been the police.

She climbed the front steps to Jason’s veranda on legs that wobbled a little. She closed her eyes, her insides writhing with nerves, then pushed her thumb against the doorbell. Heavy footsteps sounded behind the closed door. A light bloomed above her, and she blinked and stepped back as the door was thrown open. Jason stood there.

His eyes widened. “Kendall.”

“Hi.” She paused, her hands tucked behind her back. “Can I come in?”

He gave a short nod and stepped aside. His house was mostly dark, other than the floor lamp in the living room. She wandered in there then turned to face him, bringing her hands and what they held in front of her. His gaze dropped there, then he lifted his eyes back to her face with a questioning look.

She held out the length of soft rope to him. “Here,” she whispered.

“What’s this, Kendall?”

“Funny, I thought you would know.”

His eyes darkened. “Babe.” He waited.

She knew she had to do it. “I want you to tie me up. I want to submit to you. I want you to do all those things to me that you know I need. I trust you, Jason, with everything I have.”

“Fuck.” He closed his eyes, his mouth a grim line.

“Is it too late?” she whispered. “I know I hurt you. I lied to you. I owe you a hundred apologies.”

“A hundred, huh?”

She nodded. “I accused you of not doing enough to find Natalia’s killer. I accused you of being biased and out to get Kevin, just because he was her fiancé. And all the time you apparently knew who the real killer was.”

“Oh, Kendall.” He expelled a breath and rubbed the back of his neck. “I couldn’t tell you everything I knew.”

“I know. I did trust you, Jason. I was just worried and…so afraid.”

“I know.”

“And I didn’t want to hear the things you said.” She dropped her gaze to the floor. “You were right, but it was hard to hear. I got angry, and I said things I didn’t really mean.”

He made a noise low in his throat.

She lifted her gaze to his. “I also have to apologize for not telling you the truth sooner. When I was talking to Dedra…before Wade showed up…I realized she’d been trying to protect him. I understood why she did it. I don’t know…our motives were misguided, I guess. We thought we were doing the right thing. Jason…what’s going to happen to her?”

He pursed his lips. “I don’t know, at this point. Your statement about what she told you, that she was going to go tell the police everything, might help her.”

She nodded. “Anyway, I am so, so sorry about not telling you the truth right away. You were right,” she whispered. “About me. I do need to let go. And I want you to help me let go.”

“Oh, Kendall.” He gave her a crooked smile. “The truth is…whatever you told us probably wouldn’t have changed the investigation much. Other than changing my first impressions. Which I have to apologize for too. Because at first, I really did think Kevin was involved.”

She lifted her eyes to his. “Because of what happened with your sister.”

“Partly,” he acknowledged. “Also because of all the other things I’ve seen. But when we started analyzing the evidence, it was pretty clear who the main suspect was.”

“You knew it was Wade.”

“We were pretty sure it was him. But we were stumped by that damn video. Once we’d found the body, I was ninety-nine percent sure, but we needed the hard evidence—the DNA.”

“Why did you do that to Kevin?”

“I couldn’t screw up. I was trying to be open-minded and make sure I had the right guy, but what if I was wrong? I had to cover every base just in case.”

“Is that why you had him followed too?”

“Yeah.”

“I saw the car out on the highway. A couple of times. I thought it was reporters, but then yesterday when you said on television you couldn’t comment, I knew you were saying you had.”

“I’m sorry. I had to do it.”

She nodded. “You were doing your job.”

“Yeah. I couldn’t tell you. That night I asked you to come to my place—I wanted to come there, but I couldn’t let my officers see me coming to see you.” He held her gaze. “I hated that you thought we thought Kevin was guilty. I wanted so bad to tell you the truth. But I couldn’t.”

She nodded. “It’s over with. You found who killed Natalia. It’s all done. For us, I mean. I know you still have a trial and stuff to go through.”

“The prosecutors will work on that. But yeah. It’s not quite done for me.”

“I was worried about you too. Having to negotiate with him, after what happened with your sister.”

“I was scared shitless,” he confessed, and she laughed.

“But you did it.” She touched her fingertips to his cheek. “You did it, Jason, and you did great. You saved us.”

He said nothing, lifted his hand to press her palm right against his face. “Yeah,” he finally said, his voice tight and rough. “Yeah, I did it. Thank Christ. And…thanks to you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah. I told you how I was doubting myself when I came to Las Colinas. You gave me back my self-confidence, made me see who I really was.”

“A good man,” she said. “At first I thought it was a contradiction, you being chief of police, dedicated to protecting people and enforcing the law, all strong and responsible and dependable. But then being all sexually dominant and demanding and…dirty.”

“Dirty, huh?”

“You can be so aggressive, so intimidating, all bossy and in charge— and yet I felt protected and safe with you. Safe enough to let go. So it’s not really such a contradiction.”

Their eyes met again, a long wordless exchange that shimmered from frustration and hurt and caution—into understanding…and then to longing and relief. And he pulled her into his arms and kissed her, his mouth hard and warm on hers, his tongue sliding into her mouth.

She knew it would feel good, so good, to kiss him, to have his arms around her, his tongue in her mouth, but she didn’t expect the profound emotion that washed through her. One of those emotions was relief, that maybe it wasn’t too late for them after all. She rose on her tiptoes to get closer, wound her arms around his neck and gave him everything she had inside her.

His hands slid over her back, one down right to her ass, cupping her there, pressing her against his hardness. Her tongue dragged across the stubble on his jaw, her teeth nipped there. His mouth sealed over hers again, his tongue licking into her mouth, sliding over hers, playing there in an erotic rhythm that had a sharp ache of desire pinching down low inside her. She held his big head in her hands, his hair silky soft, his mouth nibbling at hers, while heat bloomed in her body and spread to her toes and fingertips.

She tipped her head to the side to allow him access to the sensitive skin on the side of her neck, and he nibbled her earlobe. “When I was being held at gunpoint, I was more worried about how you were dealing with it than I was about myself.”

“That’s crazy.” He lifted his head. “But I guess I know what you mean, because when I thought about you in there being held hostage, and how much I cared about you, that was when I freaked out. It was…Christ.” He swallowed. “I was living that nightmare all over again, and I knew the reason it was so hard was because it was you in there. And I was way too involved.”

“Oh Jason.” She laid her palm on his cheek, and he turned his face into it. He slid one hand around her shoulders, the other came up to rest on her throat and he kissed her again, holding her as if she were precious, long, slow kisses as delicious and spicy and intoxicating as the finest wine.

“I’m thinking of taking some courses,” she murmured later. “At UCLC. I always wanted to do that.”

“I think that’s a great idea.” Their eyes met and held. And then he bent his head and kissed her again, his mouth warm and delicious.

“I told you before, babe. You can do anything. You’re strong and smart. And remember…the hardest things take the most courage. You were brave to come and tell us the truth. You’re brave enough to let me tie you up and have my way with you.” He smiled. “You’re brave enough to do whatever you want.”

“You showed me that.”

“I’ll challenge you,” he said. “To go farther. To go deeper. Submission isn’t supposed to be easy. You’re supposed to wonder how much more you can do, then push beyond that. And get stronger. And I know you can do it.”

“You’ve been holding back too,” she told him, lifting her chin.

His eyes widened fractionally and then a slow smile curved his mouth. “You think so, hmm?”

“I know so.” She sensed it with every instinct she had. She could tell how powerful he was, how much he liked to be in control. While every time they’d had sex had been exciting, she’d always sensed that he wasn’t dominating her as completely as he wanted to. And she found she wanted that from him. And
for
him.