You Really Got Me (35 page)

“I’ve been trying to take it slow,” he said. “Didn’t want to scare you again. That first time…I screwed up. I was so sure of you, and then you ran out of here, and I figured I was an idiot.”

“You know you were right.” She peeked at him through her eyelashes. “You don’t have to hold back with me anymore. I want to give that to you. You don’t need to worry about who you are. You are not an abuser—not even close. You’ve never intentionally intimidated me. You’ve never coerced me into doing anything I didn’t want. You always negotiate. Anything you’ve done to me, I wanted. You give me so much pleasure. Unbelievable pleasure.”

He nodded slowly. “That’s what it’s about. If there’s no pleasure for you, or comfort or satisfaction, if it’s just about getting off on control or being sadistic…that’s not who I am.”

She nodded. “If I was afraid, it was because I was afraid of what you made me feel, what you made me want. The things you made me face about myself. It was hard to accept. But it was also…exciting.” She met his eyes steadily. “You never, ever made me feel bad. Sometimes you pushed me hard to look inside myself, but I always felt safe with you. I felt cared for.”

He nodded. “I love you, Kendall.”

“I love you too.”

“Are you still afraid?”

“No.” She had a safe word and she trusted him totally. He would never hurt her. And now she knew that letting go didn’t make her weak. It made her strong. “I want to do it. Don’t hold back.”

“Take off your clothes,” he ordered her.

She reached for the hem of the short T-shirt dress she was wearing. He stepped back to watch, his eyes hot and hungry. As always with him, she felt sexy and desired, and as she tugged the dress over her head, her nipples tightened and tingled. She stood before him in peach-colored lace panties and matching bra, and she ran her hands over the top curves of her breasts, down over her stomach.

His eyes darkened. “You’re beautiful.”

“So are you.”

His lips twitched and his eyes warmed, but he said, “Take off your underwear.”

She removed the rest of her clothing as he played with the length of rope.

“This is nice and long,” he said.

Her stomach did a little flip. Her pussy clenched and she trembled inside. What was he going to do? Her chest tightened.

He threaded the rope through his hands until he found the ends and measured the middle of the rope, and began to wrap her body in it. She loved the look of concentration on his face as he worked, and the look of admiration as he studied her body. The soft touch of the rope passed over her skin…above her breasts, below her breasts, around her neck, and down to where he bound her wrists at the small of her back.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispered and kissed the side of her neck, and her breath stalled in her lungs.

The knowledge that he could do anything to her at that moment, that she was completely vulnerable, was also transforming. Because as she gave herself up to it, she knew with utter certainty that she trusted him. Completely, totally, with utmost faith that he would not hurt her.

Yes, she felt vulnerable. But she also felt free, and as the ropes tightened around her in a firm hug, she felt safe, as if held in a warm, loving embrace.

He kissed her breasts above and below the rope and her nipples tightened into hard points.

He lifted her chin and met her eyes. “Okay?”

“Yes.”

“Are you wet?”

“I…I don’t know.” But the ache between her legs told her she was. Very wet.

“You’re lying,” he said. “You know you’re wet.”

She bit her lip.

“I could spank you for lying to me,” he said. “You should know now, there can only be complete honesty between us.”

“I know.”

“Let me see.” He slid his hand around behind her, down over her bare butt, then between her legs. “Oh yeah.” His fingers glided over her slick flesh. “Does being tied up with this rope make you wet?”

She swallowed. “Yes.” A rush of dark pleasure rose inside her.

His hands stroked over her ass, teasing, petting, making her shiver and ache with need. More liquid heat gushed between her legs.

Then his hand landed on her ass. She jolted and a warm glow spread through her body.

“Mine,” he growled. Another spank heated her flesh. This was it. He was holding nothing back, giving her everything she wanted and needed. Being totally under his control, while terrifying, only escalated the sensation, intensified the pleasure. “Upstairs. Now.”

He guided her up the stairs and into his dark bedroom.

“Lay down on the bed.”

She complied. And waited. She turned her head to see what he was doing, and saw him across the room at the stereo, then…soulful notes that she immediately recognized, followed by the gruff vocals of Percy Sledge singing “When a Man Loves a Woman”. Her breath caught in her throat as he moved back to the bed.

“Nice song,” she said, her voice husky.

His lips lifted into a smile. “Yeah. A sexy sweetheart made me this playlist of tired old sixties songs.”

“Hey!” She pouted. “I’m going to forgive you for insulting my music only because you called me a sexy sweetheart.”

“Babe. You are so sexy. And so sweet.”

Then he knelt on the bed beside her and curved his palm over her ass. After a few circular, mesmerizing rubs, his hand lifted and landed again, sharper. She sucked in a breath, as he did it again, and again, and the series of spanks had every nerve ending flaring to life, sensation coursing through her body as her ass caught fire.

The pain sparkled and sizzled, then turned into a glow that seeped deep inside her, right to her soul. When it eased, all the hurts from the past flowed with it, out of her, as if every tap of his hand on her created a physical pain that released emotional pain deep inside her and set it free, pain she’d been holding on to for so long.

Everything inside her tightened into a coil of pleasure so intense it almost wasn’t bearable. Thoughts flew out of her head and her body went limp. She gave herself over to sensation, absorbed the heat, let the pain become thick, heavy pleasure. Once more she felt that feeling of floating, freedom from everything except the hazy glow pleasure he was giving her.

She couldn’t feel her own body anymore, restrained and helpless, felt only heat, shifting, floating warmth. She felt free. Free to just feel. Free to feel the amazing heights she flew to, free and secure enough with herself to admit she didn’t want to do it all on her own. That by letting other people help her, she wasn’t weak, and admitting what she needed from Jason wasn’t wrong, it just…was.

He stopped. Her body pulsed as she waited, anticipated…and then a soft sensation broke through the heat shimmering over her body. It was his tongue, licking her ass, stroking over the hollow at the base of her spine where her hands were bound, then up her back. His tongue drew wet strokes over her sensitive skin, and when his teeth nipped the soft flesh of one butt cheek so gently, she shuddered. Lush, delicious pleasure flowed through her.

He kissed his way back up her spine, tongued the nape of her neck, nipped at her shoulder, and his hands resumed touching her, this time gentle but firm, rubbing her ass, her thighs, parting them and finding the aching wetness between. Her pussy tightened, her clit straining. And when his fingers brushed over her, tremors started deep inside her. She was so sensitized, still floating and dazed.

The bed moved with his weight as he climbed on behind her. He reached up and pulled her hair away from her face and, leaning over her, he kissed her cheek, the corner of her mouth. She turned her head into his kiss, seeking his mouth more fully with her own in a longing, clinging kiss.

“Told you I want your ass,” he murmured.

Her body tightened and her head jerked up. He caressed her hair.

“It’s okay, Kendall. Not now. We’re going to get you ready though, with this.”

And something cool and wet touched her there at that back entrance.

“Relax, babe.” His hand petted her butt as he slid the toy up and down the crease of her ass and she found herself lifting into his touch. “Oh yeah, you want it. Fuck, look at you. Your ass all rosy and lifting up for me, your pussy all pink and wet. Christ.”

She licked her lips and once more gave herself up to sensation, pulling it inside her, wrapping it around her, letting it consume her.

He kneed her legs apart, probed at her pussy entrance with the big head of his cock. “So wet. I love that.” Then he pushed inside her, stretching her, filling her so completely.

But yet not completely, because once he was seated so deep inside her, large and throbbing, he pushed the toy into her ass. She cried out, her head lifting. Sensation poured through her in unbearable waves, so full now she was bursting, sparks streaming through her veins. It was unfamiliar and yet so, so good.

“Perfect,” he muttered, one hand on her back, the other pumping the toy in and out, not too deep, then circling it. A buzzing started low down inside her, everything inside pulling up tight and hard. Sensation overload. The movement of Jason’s cock in and out, stroking sensitive nerve endings inside her, pressing so deep it almost hurt, combined with the dildo he was using on her ass, caused so much sensation it was almost more than she could bear.

Bright and hard, dark and sweet, it tightened more and more, taking he
r higher and higher. She cried out, almost in fear–she couldn
’t go any higher, God no, what was this going to do to her when she reached the top? Where
was
the top? How much more…? And still she went higher, sensation climbing to a sharp point of exquisite ecstasy that shattered into a starburst of colors behind her closed lids. Sparklers lit up her body, every nerve ending alight, every muscle tightening, including the ones that surrounded Jason inside her.

“Yeah,” he groaned. “Christ yeah, Kendall.” He slid the toy out of her ass and thrust harder into her once, twice, she lost count as she soared so high, and then his hands gripped her hips hard as he went still behind her, shouting his release.

The pleasure he gave tore down her barriers, the ones she’d clung to so fiercely for so long, but at the same time it reassured her. She felt safe, protected, understood and accepted, as if she could totally be herself and it was fine. In giving herself, she’d gotten so much.

“You’re mine,” he said from behind her, voice gruff.

“Yes.”

He unfastened her wrists and loosened the rope around her body, and once again, she found she disliked that feeling. He rubbed her wrists and kissed them with devoted gentleness, then turned her over onto her back. He laid his hands on her shoulders, warm and heavy, smoothed his hands over her shoulders and arms with bone-melting strokes.

“Okay, babe?” he growled softly.

“Yes.” And she was. She felt cherished, certain he would take care of her. She dragged heavy-lidded eyes open and met his, and saw her emotions reflected back at her.

A shiver worked over her body, then another and he quickly moved her beneath the covers then slid into bed with her. The warmth of his body enveloped her as he twined his legs with hers and wrapped his arms around her, tucking her into his body and pulling the covers up under her chin. His hands stroked and warmed and comforted her.

“Easy,” he whispered, pressing his mouth to her hair. “I’ve got you. It’s okay, Kendall. It’s okay.” She sank into his embrace, absorbing his heat and his touch and his words until her trembling eased and her body became warm and pliant. They lay like that, drifting in a timeless haze of contentment.

Later, he rolled her under him and pushed up onto his elbows to gaze down at her. The respect and reverence and appreciation in his eyes had her throat tightening, heat suffusing her body. He smoothed her hair off her face, palmed her cheeks, then kissed her mouth in a slow kiss full of worship and longing. She poured it all back into him, her mouth moving against his, unable to get enough of him, unable to give enough to him. Her hands gripped his shoulders, so solid, so strong.

They made love again, this time face to face. He knelt between her legs, their eyes fastened on each other with almost unbearable intimacy. Something stretched between them, a warm promise, a complex intimacy that made her ache. Then he was inside her, filling her, stretching her, completing her. She tingled and ached, arching under him to meet his strokes, their eyes locked.

He held her thighs as he slid in and out of her body in slow, burning strokes, then he released her legs to stretch over her, most of his weight on his elbows but his big body still pressing her into the mattress with delicious pressure. He fisted her hair in his hands and covered her mouth with his, sliding his tongue inside. She opened for him, kissed him back, rubbed her tongue over his and sucked on it. Pleasure washed through her as he filled her and moved slowly inside her, and she lifted against him.

The music had changed to “Nights in White Satin”, the slow, sultry beat and haunting melody reminding her of that night on her couch when they’d both lost control, and this song had been playing.

“I love you, Kendall,” he said, voice gruff, echoing the song.

She gazed back at him. “I love you too.”

They moved together, his hips rocking into hers, their eyes locked together. She clung to his shoulders as the tingle inside her intensified, swelling larger and larger, sliding over her body, weakening her limbs, tightening her womb until sensation peaked inside her and she came around him, her body clenching hard on his thick cock. She cried out as she dug her fingers into the muscles of his shoulders.