You Should Smile (21 page)

The next day, I started getting nervous.  Would he look the same?  What would he think when he saw me?  How would I react when I saw him?  Those questions rolled through my mind as I pulled into the lot in front of the new house. 

The ceremony had just begun and there were around 200 or so people standing down in front of the house.  I snuck in behind the group, hidden from view.  I couldn’t see past the tall guys in front of me.  I heard a voice I didn’t recognize....then realized it was the Mayor.  He was introducing someone.....Thad.

Thad stepped up and I heard his deep, smooth voice for the first time in over a month.  How I’d missed that beautiful, masculine voice. My heart warmed and tears pricked at my eyes at the very sound of it.

“Thank you, Mayor.  Thank you for coming, everyone.  First, I want to thank every single one of you for your hard work and dedication.  We couldn’t have done this without you….Sometimes in life, we face obstacles that seem insurmountable.  Mountains we can’t climb, sicknesses we can’t overcome, loves we’ve seemingly lost....”  His voice began to crack and he cleared his throat.  I still couldn’t see him behind all of the people, but I could hear his deep voice, full of emotion.  “I started this company with the hope that we could build new dreams for people suffering, that we could offer hope to someone, that we could offer a hand to help lift them up.  This house is a first step toward those goals.  This house can give them a new dream, a new hope, and a hand UP.....It is what I hope for every day – that we can all find what we are looking for.  That we can all heal…..And so now I dedicate this house – to new beginnings and new hope…..Thank you.”

His passionate words, full of hidden meaning and regret, filled my heart with love.  I didn’t try to stop the tears from falling.  They felt like signs of freedom – freedom from grief and sorrow.  I brushed the back of my hand across my face to wipe them when I heard a raspy voice behind me.

“Thought that might be you, Miss Shay.  I’m glad you came.”  Roscoe’s toothy grin beamed.  I rushed to hug him tightly.

“Oh, Roscoe!  I’ve missed you all so much.  Thank you for inviting me.  The ceremony was beautiful.”

Roscoe tilted his head at me and smiled knowingly.  “Wasn’t it, though?”  Then, his voice turned to a whisper.  “He’s hurtin’ Miss Shay.  He needs you.”

Still crying, I nodded my head and said, “I need him, too, Roscoe.”

Roscoe’s smile turned to a smirk as he nodded uncomfortably and looked down at the ground.  I sensed his sudden change in body language – and then I felt it.  The looming presence behind me – his smell, his warmth, his being.

His voice carried across the lawn, laced with deep heartbreak.  “Please tell me this isn’t a fucking dream.  Shay?”

I slowly turned around to him and smiled, nodding, tears still flowing down my face.  I took him in with my eyes.  His hair had grown out some and he had a goatee.  Pickup Grinner wasn’t clean-shaven any more.  He looked good!  Mouth-watering, actually.  He was wearing khaki pants and a blue button down shirt with a blazer.  He looked like a JCrew model.   

I finally spoke.  “It’s me, Pickup Grinner.  I’m sorry I left.  I just needed....time.”  I began to cry harder and Thad reached his arms out tentatively, awkwardly, offering them to me. 

He had a look of pain on his face and all I wanted to see was his smile.  I needed to see it.  “You should smile.  It’s a beautiful fall day.  Summer’s wrath is left behind….so smile.”

As the familiarity of my words hit him, he finally smiled.  This smile gave me the creases I loved, but it was laced with pain.  I stepped forward into his arms and when I felt them pull around me, all muscular, hard, and tight, I felt comfort.  I felt safe.  I felt loved.

I vaguely heard Roscoe chuckle lowly and walk away as Thad took a deep breath in my hair.

“I’ve missed you so much.  I thought I lost you.  Please tell me I haven’t lost you…..Wait, how’d you know about the dedication?”  He pulled me out from his arms to look me in the eyes.

I was still crying and words were hard to find.  I whispered, “Let’s just say a little birdy told me....”  I smiled up at him, trying to convey how I felt.  “You haven’t lost me, Pickup Grinner.  I’m here now.”

Thad pulled me back close into his chest again and I could smell his aftershave.  He smelled like a pine tree on a beach.  I tried to picture the absurdity of a pine tree on a beach, but made the thoughts swim away.  He smelled so damn good.  I missed him so much.  “I missed you so much, Thad.  Every day.  I’m sorry I put you through that.  I just needed time to process.  I’m good now.”

“Shay, I’m the one who caused this mess….and I’m the one who’s going to make it up to you.  Did you get my messages?”

I came out from the warmth of his arms and met his eyes.  “Yes.  They were exactly what I needed.”

“Good, Smiles….”  Then, he cocked his head to the side and grinned.  “Chris might have helped me with some ideas on how to make it better.  Maybe….” 

I nodded, smiling back up at him.  “It still kind of freaks me out how he can read my mind.  Don’t worry, though, I’m not attracted to clean cut pretty boys.  Apparently, I like guys with goatees now.” 

He grinned broadly. 

I wiped away the last of my tears and gave him a sly smile.  “Now, are you gonna kiss me or what?”

He grinned, full-out this time.  My old Pickup Grinner grin.  Eyes crinkled, sexy creases framing his luscious lips.  He finally grabbed me and pulled me into those lips.  I’d missed them so much.  Soft, yet demanding.  He kissed me slowly, savoring every inch of my mouth as our lips entangled.  I moved my arms around his neck and pulled him in closer, demanding more.  He wrapped his arms around my back and pulled me tightly to his chest. The hardness of my nipples hit the tightly wound muscles of his chest and I moaned softly in his mouth.  My moaning made him more aggressive.  His tongue began seeking entry and I opened freely to meet it with my own.  It felt soft and warm, channeling sensations that were brewing as if I were feeling them for the first time.  I was lost in his touch, abandoning all reality to the man I loved and needed......until I heard the whooping and hollering. 

We broke free from our embrace and looked toward the noise.  The recognizable faces of our HandUP friends and workers cheered us on as they screamed.

“It’s about time!” 

“Get your woman, Boss!” 

“Naw, get a ROOM, Boss!”

And I heard another familiar female voice say softly, “Thank heavens….Finally….”

Thad shook his head at them and waved them away, shooing them off with his muscular arms.  He looked back at me and grinned.  “Don’t blush, Smiles.  Fuck ‘em.  I’m kissing you and I don’t care who sees….I love you.”  He leaned down to give me another soft kiss. 

“I love you, too, Pickup Grinner…..” I looked up at him shyly.  “You know, I….ummm….I have this new mirror at my place....and a
very
livid libido…..”

His eyes went wide and he took in a huge breath.  He looked at me questioningly and I nodded my assurance.  He finally grinned. 

“Fuck yes….I’ll meet you at your place.” 

He grabbed me again and planted a huge kiss on my lips.  I laughed out loud as he quickly turned around, gathered his things and jogged off toward his truck. 

When he got to his truck, he turned and yelled to Roscoe, “Roscoe!  Can you close up here for me?  I’m outta here.  Not gonna be in tomorrow, either, man...”  Then, he paused thoughtfully, meaningfully.  “Oh, and Roscoe….thank you….”

Roscoe just smiled and nodded, waving Thad off – either unaware or ignoring any implied meaning in Thad’s gratitude. 

I was still frozen in place, taking it all in, grinning at the man I loved so much.  He looked back at me and mouthed “I love you.”  I mouthed it back.  He made a ‘c’mon’ motion adamantly with his hand and I laughed and nodded. 

“Be right there in a sec.  Promise!” I yelled.  He grinned and got in his truck and sped off out of the parking lot.

I sauntered over to Roscoe and gave him a huge hug.  “Thanks, Roscoe.  For everything.”

He glanced around conspicuously.  “Aw, Miss Shay.  I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  He winked.  “You do seem happy, though.  Life’s too short not to be happy, Miss Shay.”

I nodded and murmured, “So everyone seems to tell me….”  I fought back the tears before hugging him again.

I could see Gloria off in the distance, finishing up.  The woman never rested.  I used to get on her about slowing down some, but she’d admonished me.  “Slow down, child?! Slow down?!  There’s still much to be done in this world and so little time.  I need to go faster!  I never need to slow down.”  She was amazing.

I tentatively walked over to her, not knowing what her reaction would be.  I didn’t know how much she knew about the whole situation.  She heard me approach and turned toward me – and smiled.

“Shay....”  Her eyes filled with tears.  “I’m so glad you’re back.  We missed you.”  She held her arms out to hug me and I fell into them, tears falling yet again.

“I’m sorry.  I had to go away for a while....I just needed to....I’m sorry.”

She hugged me tighter and said, “I understand more than you know, dear.  Sometimes we all need time to heal.  I’m just glad you came back.”

As she released her grip on me, I wiped my eyes and said, “I love him so much.  I want you to know that.”

She smiled sweetly.  “Oh, I know that, honey.  You’ll have to be patient with Thaddeus.  He’s a lot like his father in some ways – a temper from hell and a grin that’ll pierce your heart.  Unlike his father, thank goodness, he’s got a heart of gold.  He tries.  Believe me, he’ll screw up now and then, but if you can get past the initial blow-ups, you can talk through anything.  You just have to see it through, Shay.  You can’t always run.....but you know that, don’t you?”

I nodded.  “I do.  I know what I want now....what I need.  I’m not running anymore.”

“Good, dear!  I like having you around!”  She smiled and kissed my cheek.

I turned to leave and as I approached my car, I heard her voice again.

“Oh, Shay?!”

I turned to face her.  “Yes?”

“Abraham would’ve adored you.”  She looked up to the sky again and smiled sadly before turning her back to do more work.

There was always more work to be done.

I entered my apartment to the sounds of silence.  Thad’s truck was outside, so I knew he’d just let himself in, but he wasn’t in the living room.  I saw no signs of him as I walked down the hall to the bedroom.  When I entered the bedroom, I found him sitting on the bed with his back to me, looking down at something.  He’d taken off the jacket and was sitting on the bed in his khakis with his shirt rolled up to his elbows.  He looked so good sitting there.   

I stopped and took him in for a moment, intent on etching that image in my mind forever.  Him, leaned over, strong back muscles flexing, dark hair in waves, concentrating.  I sighed.  He was mine again.

He heard my sigh and looked up.  I could see he was holding a photograph of us Grant had taken when we’d all gone to the lake together.  Thad’d just tried to dunk me and I’d grabbed his waist and we were both grinning.  It was one of the photographs he’d included in his manila envelopes.  The rest of the pictures from the envelopes were stacked on the floor, where he’d been sifting through them.

He looked up and gave me a shy half-grin.  “Hey.  I was just going through these pictures again.”

I smiled.  “I love them.  Tell Chris I said thanks for the idea.”

His grin got bigger and he nodded.  “Yeah, I owe him one – big time.”

A long silence rained over us as he glanced back down at the picture.  “I love this picture,” he whispered.

“It’s a great one,” I agreed.

“I love it because I can see how much I love you, right there, captured forever.  I know how it
feels
to love you, but I never knew what it looked like until this picture.”  He looked up at me with eyes of cobalt blue, eyes so full of love, regret and ache.  I could feel his hesitancy.

“Thad, I love you.....I missed you so much.  I just needed that time to work on myself.  I’m good now.”  I wanted to ease his discomfort – take away his caution.  I sat on the bed next to him, noticing my image in my periphery as it reflected in the mirror on the wall behind the bed.

He turned his head to meet my eyes, pausing to hold my gaze, contemplating something.  Finally, he reached his hand out and touched my face, his thumb grazing softly across my cheek.

“The mirror was my idea, not Chris’.  I just want you to know that,” he rasped, emotions flashing across his chiseled face.

I raised my eyebrows at him and smiled into his eyes.  “It was perfect, Pickup Grinner.  So perfect…..All I could think about last night was you making love to me in front of it.”

I felt him shudder at my words, as if they were heavy enough to affect him physically.  His voice was a choked out whisper of need.  “Shay, you’ll have to take control.  Tell me what you need, what you want......” He paused and whispered, “I’m yours.....”

I understood his meaning, his need to submit control to me this time – to let me dictate the pace and the passion.  These were my images, my memories, to form.

I took a deep breath, contemplating.  I could do this.

“Okay…..Why don’t you take off my clothes and then yours?”

He grinned, creases included, and my heart sped up.  This could be fun. 

Still sitting next to me on the bed, he reached across my waist.  Slowly, sensually, he lifted up the hem of my shirt, raking his hands across my stomach as he went.  I gasped.  My arms went up automatically and he pulled my shirt over my head, his eyes fixated on my pink lacy bra.  He bit his lower lip, lust and fire in his eyes.

His hands traced a path over the pink material covering my breasts, and I could feel my nipples tighten at his touch.  Deliberately, he scraped his rough thumb across the lace-covered nipple and pinched it.  An aching moan rumbled through me in response. 

His other hand slid across my back as he unhooked my bra.  The straps fell down my arms and he reached up to pull the bra away from my body, exposing my breasts to the open air. My heart was racing as he rubbed his thumb again across my nipple, with no barrier between us this time.  And when he leaned down and lightly pulled on the taut bud with his teeth, I felt the pleasure go straight between my legs.

“Oh god, Thad,” I mumbled.  It felt so good.

I pouted as his mouth left my nipple.  His rough hand continued its journey down my stomach, where he paused to circle my belly button with his thumb.  I watched as masculine hands – hands that had built houses, bookcases and shelves – rubbed lower, across the tip of my pants and dipped below my waistline to tease me below.  I watched his eyes, transfixed by his own movements.

He removed his hands suddenly and kneeled down in front of me to pull my shoes off, one by one, before gradually removing my socks at a leisurely pace.  His hands slid up my feet, across my legs and up to my thighs.  I closed my eyes, basking in the glorious attention his eyes and hands were bathing me in.  He unbuttoned my pants and hooked his hands into them, grasping my underwear, too.  Finally, he looked up to meet my eyes.  I lifted off the bed a bit as our eyes locked. 

He cocked his head to one side as he kneeled before me, a stoic look coming across his handsome face.  His words were at whisper and full of passion as he stared into my soul.

“It gives me wonder great as my content

To see you here before me.  O my soul’s joy!

If after every tempest come such calms,

May the winds blow till they have waken’d death!

And let the laboring bark climb hills of seas

Olympus-high and duck again as low

As hell’s from heaven!  If it were now to die,

‘Twere now to be most happy; for, I fear,

My soul hath her content so absolute

That not another comfort like to this

Succeeds in unknown fate.”

He leaned up to softly kiss my lips as he pulled my pants and underwear down my legs, his fingertips rubbing against my skin along the way.  His kiss was sweet, but laced with seduction.  His tongue darted into my mouth quickly.  I brought my head forward in an effort to meet it, to take the kiss deeper.  He pulled back instead, but not before grabbing my bottom lip with his teeth and softly biting down.

“Where is that from?”  I asked him, breathing quickly, desperate.  It was the most erotic experience I’d ever had – hearing those words, combined with watching him take my clothes off with methodical precision – like it was something he didn’t want to miss in case it wasn’t real.  And that kiss. Simple, understated, sexy as fuck.

He looked up at me with love.  “Othello, Act II, when Othello is finally reunited with Desdemona.  I had to memorize a passage from Shakespeare in my college lit class and I chose that one.  I never really understood what it truly meant until now….the power of seeing your love again after being apart so long.  I get it now…..He’d go through the storms again if it meant being in that moment with her.” 

His words reminded me that all I wanted was to feel his body next to my own.  I needed it more than anything.  I remembered that I called the shots.  “Your clothes.  Off.  Now.”

I watched as he grinned again and stood up in front of me.  He stood just far enough away so that I couldn’t touch him.  He leaned over first and pulled his shoes and socks off – quickly without ceremony.  Then, he slowed his pace, grabbing the bottom of his shirt and pulling it out from the waist of his pants – casually, as if he had all the time in the world.  Eyes still boring a hole into my soul, he began to unbutton it torturously slowly.  Smirking all along. 

I glared at him and growled, “Faster.”

His smirk turned into a grin as he began to move faster, quickly unbuttoning the buttons until freeing the last one.  The shirt gaped open, revealing his chest – tight, sinewy, strong.  I took my time staring at him, letting my eyes trace the trail of dark hair on his lower stomach.

I made a ‘come here’ gesture and he lazily stepped forward.  Doing what I’d wanted to do for so long, I reached out and grabbed his pants at the waistline, pulling him closer toward me.  Then, I unzipped them and pulled them down slightly in front, enough to further expose that path of inviting dark hair.  I leaned forward and flicked my tongue just below his belly button, following that dark trail with my tongue.  I traced the path over his hard abs, licking slowly downward until I could go no further, my tongue stopped by the bottom of his zipper.  His dick, already hard, was trapped and throbbing beneath the material below.

“Oh fuck me….” His voice caught as he groaned and instinctively flexed his hips toward my mouth.

I ran my tongue back up the trail again, just for good measure, before sliding my hands behind his pants and boxers, cupping his hard ass with both hands.  I squeezed it firmly once before pulling his pants and boxers down together.  Then, I sat back and nodded. 

“Continue.”

The smirk returned as he stepped out of the pants and threw them aside. 

He finally stood before me naked.  Beautiful.  An Adonis in my room.  How I’d missed him.

“Come here.  Kiss me,” I beckoned.

He took one long step, grabbed my hand, and pulled me up off the bed to him.  His other hand forcefully clutched my neck as his lips melted into mine.  We were soon lost again in the feel of each other’s mouths, lost like we’d been at the worksite an hour earlier.  It suddenly seemed like ages ago.

When we finally came up for air, I grabbed his waist and turned his back toward the bed, pushing him down on it.  He landed sitting up, and I coaxed him to lay back flat with another nudge.  He was at my mercy.  Mine to do with as I pleased – in any way I pleased.

The light from the mirror was glowing behind him.  I watched my own image as I approached the bed and climbed onto it.  On all fours, I moved over his body slowly, letting my loose hair fall over his feet, up his muscular legs, across his swollen cock, along his hard stomach and chiseled chest, until I was finally face-to-face with him.  I kissed him again lovingly, trying to tell him how I felt with my mouth and tongue.

Then, I continued moving upward until my knees framed his head, my throbbing, wet sex hovering above his mouth.  I was directly facing the mirror.  Still hovering over his face, I glanced down and his eyes met mine.

“You want to watch yourself riding my face, Smiles?  Is that what you want?”

“Yes,” I stammered, not sounding confident at all.

Grinning from underneath, he grabbed my waist with two hands, pulling me downward.  His hands moved down to cup my ass as his tongue found the spot where I ached to be touched. 

He worshipped me with light flicks of his tongue at first, feathering my clit, before flattening his tongue and rolling it downward in between my lower lips.  He repeated that motion over and over, light flicks and rolling licks across my wetness.

I moaned and began to grind my hips against his mouth – unconscious of what I was even doing.  The movement to feel more, to bring out every possible pleasure from his talented tongue, was instinctual.  A growl came from his mouth as I began to move and the vibration the sound made against my clit made me scream.

“So amazing….” I stammered.

“I missed the way you taste,” he groaned against me.

Oh god.  Those words just made me even more ravenous.  I glanced up and looked at the image in the mirror – me, long flowing dark hair, knees framed around his head, hips flexing back and forth across his mouth.

I looked back down at him and he squeezed my ass with both hands, pulling me harder into his mouth, making a “mmmmmm” vibrating sound against my clit.  I moaned uncontrollably.  Then, he moved his face, from nose to chin, across my entire wetness.  His chin, covered by the goatee, tickled as it trailed across my clit, over my soaking vulva, and finally to the sensitive spot around my anus.

I screamed out in pleasure.  I was so close.  I wanted to come so badly, but I didn’t want it to end at the same time.  I looked back up to the mirror to see our connection and he repeated the motion.  I watched, mesmerized, as his face and chin slid along my core.  I couldn’t hold back any more.

A gut-wrenching scream came from my depths as I watched myself come in the mirror – hips sliding along his face with reckless need.  Pulse after pulse of ecstasy washed over me as I let go.

When the last wave went through, the feel of his tongue below was just too much.  I lifted myself up from his face, still panting and screaming.

Finally, I flopped down on my side next to him, too weak to move.

“Holy shit.  Holy shit. Holy shit...”  That was all I could seem to say.  Vocabulary words were lost to me.  I was a mental and physical blob of nothingness.

Thad laughed – a raucous, low laugh full of teasing understanding.  “Holy shit is right.  I don’t know about your view up there, but mine was fucking beautiful.”  Panty-dropping grin.

I finally lifted my body from its stupor and slid on top of him, kissing him sweetly as he enveloped me in his arms.  Remembering that he was at my mercy, I kissed down his chest until I reached his dick, still hard.  I tentatively took it in my hand, noticing the pre-come glistening from the tip, and leaned down with my tongue to lick it off slowly.

He groaned.  “Fuck!”

I took him farther into my mouth and sucked lightly, grasping the bottom of his dick tightly in my hand.  I moved my hands in rhythm with my mouth, taking his length entirely, then pulling back and sucking and licking across it.  His hips began to buck toward me and I reached down to massage his balls.  He leaned up on his elbows so that he could look down at me as I continued to worship his cock with my mouth.  “God, I missed your mouth, too…..”