You'll Think of Me (33 page)

When Luke finally strolled up to the stage after much nagging from Tessa, Olivia sat at the bar for another drink so she wouldn’t have to watch him. Luke knew it was a childish move to taunt her. He would purposely lock eyes with her and stare. How the hell could he not?

After a little while, Olivia slipped away to the ladies room in the middle of a song. She needed a break from listening to Luke on stage. Even furious with him, warmth surged through her body at the sight of him. Her heart was laden with memories as she watched Luke grab a lonely guitar and play with expertise. He held and caressed it intimately. Olivia tried to mask her emotions to those around her, but it wasn’t easy. As much as she told herself she was over Luke, she couldn’t help but still love him. Watching him on stage again, it was all too much for her to handle. His voice would drop low as if he fell into another dimension, luring her into his black hole. And when that happened, nothing mattered anymore but him. Time stopped and she felt what he felt, the beat of the drums, that one hook in the song that meant more than any other, the clenching of her stomach as he held a note. The rush of performing. As if his voice took them to another place together from a single strum of his finger on the strings. Her love of watching Luke sing still hadn’t died. It never would.

Reaching the semi-dark area outside the restrooms, Olivia waited her turn in line. She closed her eyes, leaned her head back and took a deep breath. Cheers and chants echoed from the crowd, signaling the song was over.

“Thank you, thank you.”

His voice…sounded so hoarse.
God.

“I’m gonna take a little break for now. Maybe I’ll be back.”

The cheering only grew louder.

Luke made his way off stage with determination. He had watched Livy from the stage, watched as she avoided looking at him and stared down at the glass in her hand. Why couldn’t she see what he was trying to say? He managed to catch a glimpse of the look she used to have. It was a look full of want and need that he had fulfilled in the past.

Pushing his way past people on the dance floor, Luke knew the bar like the back of his hand. He’d come here often after she left, sit in a booth and slam back beers as he put his feelings on paper to cover his emotions. It was how he coped with the loss. Yeah. He wrote those kinds of songs because of a broken heart. Fucking sap that he was.

Luke found Livy in seconds. She was leaning against a dirty wall in the hallway waiting in line. Her head was dropped back against the bland gray wall, looking so tired and worn out. Luke marched right up, grabbed her arm and pulled her behind him, dragging her toward the door labeled “Emergency Exit”, not even stopping for Livy to gather her footing.

“Luke, what the hell? Let go!”

Discombobulated from the shock of Luke dragging her outside, Olivia tried to yank her arm back, but had no such luck. “Luke! Stop!”

Luke kicked out the door and swung Olivia outside and pushed her up against the brick wall in the dirty alleyway. “Why’d you do it, Olivia?”

Perplexed, she bit out through clenched teeth, “Huh? Do
what
exactly, Luke?”

“Why’d you turn your back on me once I got up on stage?”

“Are you kidding me? You manhandle the shit out of me, drag me outside, slam me into a wall and that’s all you say? What the hell is wrong with you!”

Luke retreated a few steps back as shock flitted across his face. His eyes traveled every inch of her body looking for any marks. Hurting her physically was the last thing on earth he’d ever want to do.

“Dear God,” he whispered, “I would never lay a hand to you, Care Bear. Did I hurt you?”

Olivia rubbed her arm. “I’m sure I’m fine, but don’t ever do that again.”

Luke was not the kind of man to raise a hand to a woman, it wasn’t in his bones. He wasn’t trying to hurt her… Rubbing a hand across his tightened chest, Luke slowly took a step closer.

“Livy...I would never…” He couldn’t even finish the sentence. Luke leaned down and pressed his forehead to Livy’s, holding her face between his palms. It would take nothing for him to lean down and rest his lips against hers.

Unable to look into Livy’s eyes, he closed his own before he said, “I could never hurt you. You have to believe me.” Her hands fisted his waist, gripping his shirt and holding him. She made the smallest move and leaned into him.

She knew. Olivia knew Luke wasn’t capable of hurting her. She was just taken aback by it. Taking a few deep breaths, Olivia relieved Luke of his suffering.

“I know,” she whispered. “You scared me.”

“I just wanted to talk.”

“Talk?” A laugh escaped her lips. “What could you possibly want to talk about?”

Lifting his head, but not dropping his arms, Luke looked into Livy’s eyes and spoke as earnestly as he could. “Why did you ignore me when I got up to sing? I had no intention of singing at all, but I looked at you when Tessa was begging me and thought I saw hope in your eyes for a split second. So I caved. Because of you. I sang because of you. But when I got up there, you wouldn’t look at me, like you couldn’t stand to hear me.”

Luke’s eyes pleaded for an answer. Olivia had no idea that ignoring him would hurt him so much. She did it to protect herself.

For her. Luke sang for her. Olivia wasn’t sure what to even think. “Why would you do that?”

“Because I remember how much you loved it.”

“Luke,” she shook her head. “That was long ago.”

“Did you?”

“Did I what?”

“Did you like what you heard? I sang it for you.”

“It doesn’t matter what I like anymore.”

“It does to me.”

“Why, Luke? Why? Why does it matter whether or not I like it?”

Luke shrugged. Why couldn’t she just answer his question? “It just does.”

“Well, that’s a stupid answer.”

“Why can’t you just answer me?”

“I could ask you the same thing. Never mind. I need to get back inside.”

“Is it as good as when we were together, Livy?” His voice was hoarse. He knew he shouldn’t ask, but he also needed to know how she truly felt.

Olivia glanced up into his eyes. Her heart raced as she tried to find the right words.

Luke saw the look in her eyes that revealed her answer. “Nothing could be as good as when we were together,” he whispered, answering for her. Luke couldn’t resist tasting her. He leaned down and kissed her hard, savoring her mouth. She responded immediately and took all of him in a heart stopping kiss.

Breaking the kiss, Luke asked between pants, “Tell me. Does he make you happy?”

Olivia felt her jaw quivering. She thought about her answer carefully before she spoke.

“At one point Nate made me happy more than I thought possible.”

Luke cringed on the inside at her confession. He wasn’t expecting
that
.

She let out a sad smile, her eyes soft with repentance. “I once loved a guy long ago so much it hurt. I never thought I’d feel that way again.”

Pulling away, Olivia turned to leave, but Luke kept a hold of her hand. “I write them for you.” His voice cracked along her skin like sparklers.

“Write what?”

“My music. The songs I sing. All I have to do is think of you when I’m stuck and it just flows from the tips of my fingers.” Luke chuckled dejectedly. “It’s almost like you’re my muse. All of my songs have parts of you in them. You just have to listen closely.”

She couldn’t handle it any longer. Luke was making her chest hurt and her head ache. He wanted her, he didn’t. Which was it?

“I don’t know what happened, Livy. I drank a few beers and was all good, but once I began to play my music...you paid no attention to it… I’m sorry. Lame excuse, but I was sucked back into the past and couldn’t control myself. I wanted to go back and feel it all again with you, even if it was just for one night.”

Olivia smiled sadly. Squeezing his hand she said, “I have to go. I have a long drive ahead of me.” As she went to open the door, she glanced over her shoulder and saw Luke standing with such a heartbreaking look that she found herself saying, “I listen to all of your music, even if it hurts to.”

L
uke was too stressed out with everything going on in his life. His mom, Livy, work, touring… It was all becoming so exhausting mentally and he needed a damn break. Livy took up most of his thoughts, those of the present and past. Watching her in her doctor’s office being able to do what she loved really got to him. He knew what she wanted at a young age, and she went after it. But the truth was, he couldn’t help but “what if” himself to death over the choices he made.

So he flew home the moment his tour ended. He hopped on the next flight out, only after sitting with his manager for over three hours discussing the next phase of his life, and then he bolted. He hadn’t even stopped to see his parents, didn’t mention he was coming home, just went straight to his house and threw himself into his empty bed and passed out. He needed some serious down time. But before he crashed, he shot Livy a text.

Luke:
I’m home…was thinking we could get lunch while I’m here.

Olivia:
Sure. I’d like that.

A few days later, Luke was finally rested with a clear mind.

Luke:
How about I come pick you up?

Olivia:
Umm… Where are we going

Luke:
Wait, is this going to be a problem with Nate

Olivia:
No.

Luke:
Good. We’re going out to lunch, remember?

Shoot. Olivia wasn’t even thinking and had completely forgotten about Luke asking her to lunch. She wasn’t in the best frame of mind and her emotions were all over the place. Her only plan for Saturday was to plant flowers all day on her newly finished deck.

Olivia:
I’m working on my deck and around my house all day…Sorry. Maybe tomorrow?

Luke laughed. Livy wasn’t getting off that easy.

Luke:
That’s fine. We’ll just take a ride and get a late lunch instead. Be sure to wear jeans

Olivia:
Okay.

Olivia put the phone down and got back to planting.
Would it be okay with Nate
…if he only knew. Olivia shook her head. Taking a ride with Luke meant what? Where were they going? Where would they get lunch? What would they talk about? Luckily she was able to push that back until tomorrow.

Two hours later, sweat trickled down the swell of her breasts and her hair sticking to the back of her neck. With her fingers covered in dirt and all over her clothes, Olivia stood up and wiped her forehead then grabbed a water bottle. It was a scorcher outside, and she could feel how hot her cheeks were. She pressed the ice cold bottle to both cheeks before she opened it and drank it all.

Her dogs barking brought her gaze to the sound that echoed down the street. She patted Tom’s head and peeked through the trees.

Her mouth dropped. Luke?
On a motorcycle?
What was he doing here?

The roar of the pipes grew louder as she watched the bike draw closer.

Olivia shook her head. Of course it had to be Luke.

One more crank of the gas, and Luke rode onto Livy’s driveway and flicked off his bike. He couldn’t stop grinning at her expression. She obviously wasn’t expecting him, or for him to ride up on a bike.

Holding the handle bars steady, Luke tilted his bike to the side and dropped the kickstand. Gently, he eased his bike down and stood, swinging his leg off. Removing his jacket and then his helmet, Luke shook his head, allowing his hair to breathe after being trapped under the helmet for nearly an hour. Livy still hadn’t moved from her place, her mouth hanging open.

Luke smiled. “Hey, Care Bear.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Taking you out for lunch.”

Her brows furrowed. “That’s tomorrow.”

He glanced at his watch. “Well, it’s already three p.m. and when you said you were working on your deck all day, I knew you wouldn’t be leaving so I came by today instead. I figured I could help with your planting then we could catch a bite to eat.”