Young Annabelle Series: Young Annabelle, the Truth About James, What My Heart Wants (56 page)

“You see this, Fireball?” He eyed my hand against his chest. “That belongs to you.”

“I hope so. But you know…it’s going to be awhile before I can move past everything a hundred percent.” I exhaled after speaking.

He leaned his forehead against mine, whispering. “Last Monday, I was a monster.”

I didn’t say anything…because it was true. He leaned his head back, slamming it against the back seat’s leather cushion. “Just like my fucking
dad
.”

“He’s that bad?”

James sneered. “He doesn’t take lip from anyone. He’s the true definition of an asshole. I got into a fight with him again tonight. He’s a funny guy too by the way. He got in my face for talking back to him.”

“Why is he funny too?” I asked.

“Because, if I didn’t say anything to him to begin with he’d just call me a pussy for backing down that easy. He wants everything, the fight and the back down. It makes him feel like
the man.
” James snorted.

I raised my hand up from his newly calmed down heart and into his hair. Shockingly, he hadn’t worn a Baseball cap tonight. I raked my fingers through his hair. “That’s so messed up.”

“No, what’s messed up would be turning into him. We’ve got the same DNA at the end of the day. From what I hear, his dad’s the same way. Grandpa was an asshole to Dad growing up and now it’s my turn to take it.” James cringed. “Anna, I’m going to turn into that, if I haven’t already. I don’t want to be like those guys.”

The shock of hearing my ‘real’ name roll off his tongue left me momentarily shocked and elated. It sounded good coming from his mouth.

“You’re almost that guy, but not quite. I doubt you’d take lip from any other guy at school.” I mentioned.

He thought about it for a second before answering. “That’s true, but that doesn’t mean I have to be like that to my girl.” He caressed my jawline. “My dad treats my stepmom like shit. I swore to myself that I’d never treat my own girl like that, ever. The fact that some of that shit happened this week, and knowing I was basically a clone of him, kills me. I don’t want to be
that guy
with
my girl
. You’re my everything.”

“How about I slap you the next time you step out of line?” I suggested, smiling.

“Please do it, a nice hard one, right across my cheek.” James chuckled, pulling me into his chest again. My stomach growls against his and I hide my face into his neck in embarrassment.

“I’m sorry.” I cringed, as a light chuckle escaped him.

“Are you hungry baby, be honest.” James asked.

“I guess I am, which is surprising considering I ate a lot during Dinner tonight. Or rather was forced to eat a lot during dinner.” I explained, exhaling.
“Dinner was horrible by the way.”

“You want to talk about it?” James asked.

“Not right now. I think one asshole parent as a topic of discussion is enough for tonight.” I sighed. “How about you, are you hungry too?”

“Yeah…but not for fries.” He stared deep into my eyes and whispered. “Can I kiss you?”

“You already did.” I gave him a timid smile. “My palm, remember.”

He smiled and shook his head. “No, I mean a real kiss, baby.”

“Let me think about it for a second.” I pretended to ponder as his face went pained. I smirked at his tortured expression. “I’m kidding.”

“For real?” He asked, hesitant.

I nodded, and he leaned in that fraction of inch, brushing his lips against mine. It was soft at first, but I don’t know if it was just me, but soft wasn’t going to cut it. I grabbed the back of his neck, pulling him in, restricting any open space between us as he practically pinned me down with his body.

It’s been awhile….but he belonged here…with me…like this.

*~*~*

I know what you were probably thinking and the answer is ‘no’.

James and I did not have sex. And it was the hardest thing to say ‘no’ to, especially because we’d both wanted to….badly.

“Are you sure?” James panted against my lips, his hands resting against the zipper of my sweater jacket. I’d kept it up and it stayed like that, even when he had asked to pull it down a moment ago. It’s not that I wanted to take things slow, I just didn’t want to do
that
in the parking lot of McDonald’s.

It was hilarious now that I thought about it.

“I don’t want to have sex with you in the parking lot of McDonald’s, James.” I smirked, pulling away from his warmth, which made him pout.

“But I missed you.” He pouted, giving me his best puppy dog face. “It’s been one week. One week where I couldn’t kiss you and touch you like before.”

“Then don’t take it for granted again and you won’t have to go through that again. Okay?” I told him, moving myself into a sitting position. James followed and sat right next to me, pulling my body close to his.

“I’m never going to make that mistake again. Ever.” He promised, kissing me once on the cheek. “I love your cheek, it’s soft and cold. It feels good against my lips.”

I smiled a fool’s smile. “It does?”

“Yep. But just so you know, no one else is allowed to do that to you. Your cheeks are only for me to kiss.” He eyed me sternly, yet playfully. “Your cheeks belong to me.”

“And just so you know, your entire body belongs to me.” I told him sternly, yet playfully. “I’m telling you James, if I see another girl touch you like Donna has in the past, I will not be happy. In fact, I might get violent.”

James grinned. “Nothing would make me happier!”

I laughed.

“I should take you home.” James said, sadly. I checked the time on his dashboard and it was just past 1am.

It was really late.

“I think that would be for the best. I don’t want to get into trouble with the parentals any more than I already am.” I chuckled, resting my head against his shoulder.

“Before we head off though, we’ve got another little problem we need to address first.” James alerted, sounding serious all of a sudden.

“What is it?” I asked, leaning away from his shoulder, eyeing him confusedly.

A sneaky smile broke out on his face. “What am I going to do about this?” He eyed the bulge in his pants.

My jaw dropped and I hit his shoulder playfully. “James, that’s disgusting!”

He pulled me in, hugging me. “No it’s not. This is because of you.” He told me sweetly, a fraction of an inch away from my lips.

“Really?” I sighed.

“Really.” He replied and then kissed me.

*~*~*

He held my hand as he drove to my street. “You love me?” James asked after he’d parked at the curb, three houses away from mine. Our hands were still clasped tightly.

I took a moment, and then answered him. “Yeah, I do.”

He didn’t say anything and I didn’t say anything. We just basked in silence, letting the words linger.

They were beautiful.

I gave him a smile. “See you tomorrow?”

“I can’t wait.” James murmured. I got out of his car, stepping into darkness. The streetlights were off and the houses also had their lights off. I was about to head towards my house when an arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me to a stop.

“You forget something.” I whispered, staring deep into his beautiful green eyes, while clasping his shoulders.

He tilted his chin down. “Yeah, this.” His hands clasped both sides of my face and he lowered, pushing his lips against mine with a passion of a thousand suns. After a few seconds, he pulled back, panting. “See you tomorrow morning, and just so you know, I’m picking you up.”

I grinned, another fool-like one. “Good to know.”

*~*~*

“Annabelle?”

Great….not even an eyelid open and mom was already hot on my case the next morning. I glanced at my alarm clock and groaned on the down low. It was 6:30 in the morning.

This was not good.

It was only a few hours ago that I crawled back into bed. Then it took another half an hour to fall back asleep. Then I remember that I slept a few hours before meeting up with James. So waking up at 6:30 in the morning didn’t seem like such a hard task. I wouldn’t be tired at school today and most of all I wouldn’t be tired for my ride to school today. Maybe waking up this early had its perks, like for instance I had extra time to get ready.

I needed to look extra special today. “Thank you mom.” I whispered to myself and got out of bed.

There was a knock on my door again. “Annabelle?”

Oh yeah…Mom.

I took a deep breath and prepared. “Yeah?” I called out, rushing back into bed and under the covers.

“Can I come in?” She murmured from the hallway. “I want to talk to you.”

I grimaced as a feeling of dread washed over me. She wanted to talk to me? Didn’t she do enough of that yesterday when she and Dad practically ambushed me into eating more than I had wanted to? They made me feel like I had a problem.

I did not have a problem…..not to that extent at least.

I closed my eyes, and took a few breaths, hoping to let out some tension from that horrible memory of dinner last night. I just had to be strong, listen to what she wanted to say, and then after a well-deserved apology from her to me, she could leave and I could get on with my day and all the happiness that would follow. “You can come in.”

The door opened slowly and mom slid in, closing the door behind her, it barely making a sound. She shuffled in her blue paid pajama shorts and grey shirt over to my bed as I sat up, leaning against the headboard. She sat on my bed Indian style and exhaled. “I know it’s early, but I woke up early and last night’s been on my mind.”

“It’s been on my mind too.” I murmured.

She just sat there and stared at me.

“What is it mom, what did you want to talk about?” I asked, wanting to get it over with so I could get ready for James’ arrival, which I had yet to know when he’d be arriving. I eyed my phone in its charger, seeing if the screen lit up from any messages.

James was probably still asleep.

“I’m so sorry.” Mom whispered, sounding tortured. It snapped me out of my daze. I’d never heard her tone of voice go there before. “I’m sorry Anna.

However, her tone of voice did little appease the SICK feeling that would arise every time last night’s dinner would invade my mind. An apology….for now was just the beginning for her to make it up to me.

I wasn’t going to make this easy for her. “You said you weren’t going to act like ‘psycho mom’ again. But last night you went right back to it. You even got dad involved.” I accused, practically snarling at her. “I don’t have a problem like you think I do.”

Mom blinked several times, shocked by the outrage coming from me. “That’s where you and I differ. I think, you have a tiny issue with eating proper meals now, and before you say anything else, I agree, it is my fault. I kept pushing you and pushing you and it somehow became ingrained in your mindset and you kept going on the diet path. Right now, you’re at a healthy weight for your height and age and it’s time to stop the diet.”

I was at a healthy weight for my height and age?

Really?

Could I stop…cold turkey…and return eating normally. I’m talking no more all salad lunches. I’m talking a tall glass of cola with my meals. I’m talking chili fries and a hot dog for lunch on Saturdays at the Club.

Could I go back to that?

What if I gained all the weight back?

If I’m being honest….I don’t know if I can.

I guess….I needed a lesson or two in eating in moderation, eating responsibly, eating healthy but not to the point where I scared everyone around me.

It was time to put my big girl panties on and start making things right regarding this matter, even if the threat of mom and dad giving me a hard time about it in the future doesn’t cease. What if I fixed ‘this’ and they still acted like ‘that’? What about the next problem they find with me? Are they going to hound me until I break again, insisting that I make ‘changes’, because it’ll be so much better that way?

What if it never ends? 

I sighed and pulled the blanket off of me, sitting Indian style as Mom was. “I don’t disagree with you. I need to eat more than just salad. But I also don’t need you and dad jumping down my throat for not doing what you want me to do. I’m not a baby. I know how to serve my own portions.”

“I know. I’m sorry. We all just got carried away.” Mom murmured, sounding a tad shameful. I wondered how she would act if
her
Mother treated her like this? Would she have reacted like me or would she have taken it like a good little daughter would have, not daring to talk back, obliging out of respect?

I wasn’t going to be the ‘good’ little girl they wanted me to be. I was on the cusp of adulthood.  I have my own mind. I make my own decisions, with or without their approval. “I don’t want you touching my food anymore. I’m going to be serving myself from now on, no matter the situation.” I told her.