Young Revelations (Young Series) (22 page)

Breakfast is very enjoyable, and I’m not only talking about the food, which incidentally is very good; Matthew and I are laughing and teasing each other in a way we haven’t done in years. I don’t know what brought this on, whether it was our mutual realization that our relationship isn’t impervious to outside factors, but I hope it sticks around. As we’re finishing up and Matthew is throwing away the food containers, Dr. Marsh arrives. From the corner of my eye, I see Matthew smirk as he takes in my doctor’s appearance. Unlike Mark, he knows there is no way I could be attracted to this doctor. Aside from the fact that he’s probably in his mid-70s, he smells like my grandfather.

Dr. Marsh confirms what Mark said about my labs coming back clear and hands me my discharge papers and a couple prescriptions he wants me to take to help keep my blood pressure even. He warns me to avoid high stress situations—I glance over at Matthew again and find him wincing at the thought—and instructs me to make an appointment with my doctor sometime soon for a follow-up. Once he’s gone, I get dressed and a nurse arrives with a wheelchair to take me to the car. Despite the nurse’s insistence that it’s hospital protocol for a member of staff to push the wheelchair, Matthew insists on doing it himself and looks like a petulant little boy until the nurse relents. I think her agreement might have had more to do with the way she was eyeing his body appreciatively than anything else. I glare at her when I notice she’s walking behind Matthew, apparently looking for a view of his butt. Whether Matthew is aware of this, I’m not sure until we reach the car. He helps me into the passenger seat, even reaching over to fasten my seatbelt, and in full view of the nurse, gives me another taste of what I can expect tonight. He groans as he pulls away from my lips; I wonder whether, if we didn’t have an audience, he would have stopped. I glance down at his pants and I get the impression the answer is a very firm no, he would not have stopped, and even knowing we have an audience, he’s considering not stopping.

The drive home is silent. Whenever I glance at him, Matthew’s face is almost brooding, but the moment he catches me looking, his expression softens and he brings my had to his lips to press kisses to my knuckles before resting our joined hands on his thigh and resuming his thoughts. I’m trying not to read too much into this mood. No one knows better than I that he’s got a lot on his mind right now—the video, Natalie, Mark, everything else going on around us—and if I know him at all, I know it’s keeping most of it to himself to avoid upsetting or stressing me. Under more normal circumstances, I might be annoyed by this, but I can’t find it in me to be too annoyed; there’s probably quite a bit about this situation that he hasn’t shared with me yet and he probably wants to make sure I can handle whatever that might be without landing myself in a hospital bed again.

I’m trying to put everything out of my mind for the moment; there will be time enough to reflect later. For now it’s enough to know Matthew and I are back on the right path and that we’re both acknowledging this second chance at our relationship is going to take much more work than the first time. There’s so much more to lose now, so much against us that it almost seems easier to go our separate ways lest we end up worse than we were before.

Looking over at the man who means most to me, I know this will never be an option. Even if it kills me, I will do everything possible to make this work.

I wake suddenly, sitting straight up in bed and coated in a cold sweat. As I catch my breath, I take in my surroundings. I’m at home again. I must have fallen asleep in the car, because I have no recollection of getting here or walking to the bedroom or changing into my pajamas. I glance through the thin crack of the window curtains and decide it must be early evening. This surprises me; we left the hospital long before lunchtime. Once I’m comforted by my surroundings, I try to remember what it was that woke me so rudely. A dream, I think, though I can’t remember any real details aside from a deep sense of unease.

The only thing that will get my mind of
f this is my family. I change into jeans and one of Matthew’s sweatshirts, and pad through the house in search of Matthew and Tyler, feeling slightly guilty that I apparently slept through picking our son up from school. I hope he wasn’t too disappointed that I wasn’t there, then realize the moment he saw Matthew, he probably forgot about me. The house is empty and quiet, and I’m wondering if they’re even home yet when I hear squealing in the backyard. Grinning, I head towards the backdoor and look outside. The boys are in the yard with Leo playing some variation of soccer and laughing their heads off about something. Stepping out onto the deck, I see Matthew had apparently intended to do some work while Tyler played—his laptop is on the table and there are folders stacked neatly beside it, though I have a feeling he hasn’t actually gotten much done.

I
watch them for several minutes until Matthew spots me. He says something to Leo who turns and waves at me as Matthew jogs towards the deck. “Hi,” I say as he comes up the stairs.

“H
i yourself,” he murmurs, panting slightly from playing. He closes the distance between us and kisses me in a way I have no doubt that I was missed. “How was your nap?”

It takes my brain several moments to register his words, since the rest of me is wondering why he stopped at all. “Was good,” I breathe, my eyes wide. Matthew chuckles. “I thought you’d wake me before picking Ty up from school…”

He shrugs, leading my back towards the table where he sits, pulling me down onto his lap. “I was going to, but you seemed so peaceful and I wasn’t sure how well you’d been sleeping this week, so I thought I’d let you get some extra rest.”

“Very thoughtful of you.”

“Not thoughtful at all,” he tells me, grinning. “I’ve got big plans for you tonight and it would be a shame if you were to pass out right in the middle of those plans.”

I turn and raise an eyebrow at him. “Big plans, huh?” He nods. “Someone’s hopeful.”

He snorts a laugh. “Baby, if you’re not even partway as desperate for me as I am for you, I’ll move to Antarctica and live as a penguin for the rest of my life.”

Rolling my eyes at his absurdity, my lips twitch. “Okay, maybe I am a little desperate for you.”

“Only a little?” he asks huskily, easily turning me around so that I’m straddling him with my back to towards the yard. “What do I have to do to increase that desperation?”

His gaze travels over my shoulder slightly and I know he’s keeping an eye on Tyler and Leo. Very slowly, his hands slide beneath my sweatshirt and up my ribs to cup my breasts gently. With the barest flick of his thumbs across my nipples, I could probably melt right here in his lap. One hand remains where it is while the other slides down between my thighs, stroking me slowly and lightly. The moment I beg
in to forget where we are, he stops. My eyes fly open in protest to find his eyes darkened, his lips parted, and his breathing coming in raspy pants. Instinctively, I press my hips down onto his and watch as he bites his lip so hard against a groan that I expect to see blood.

“Later,” he says. I’m not sure whether it’s a threat or a promise. He swallows several times to regain control and I slide off his lap, into the chair beside him. He doesn’t seem pleased with my move, but if I remained where I was, our son and Leo would be getting a free show. We sit silently for several minutes, his fingers wrapped around mine as we each lose ourselves in our thoughts. This
, right here, right now is my idea of happily ever after. Sitting with the man I love, overlooking the backyard where our son is playing. I can already imagine a few years down the line when our daughter will join him.

Matthew chuckles softly and I glance over, finding him watching Tyler running across the yard with a fond smile on his face. “What?” I ask.

He glances at me briefly and I’m slightly troubled by the wistful look in his eyes. “Nothing,” he says. “It just never ceases to amaze me how incredible he is.”

“Of course he’s incredible,” I reply. “He’s your son.”

His smile widens briefly. “More yours than mine, really,” he comments.

I take a moment to register what he said and I can’t keep the hurt out of my expression or voice. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

He looks over at me suddenly, apparently only realizing now what he’s said and how I’ve taken it. “I don’t mean it like that,” he assures me. “I just mean you’ve had more of a hand in raising him than I have and I don’t know him as well as I’d like.”

“He’s still your son,” I tell him firmly. “And he worships the ground you walk on, Matt. As far as he’s concerned, you’ve been around this entire time.”

He swallows hard and I know his emotions are coming to the surface again. “I’m realizing that,” he murmurs. “And believe me, I adore him just as much. I just wish you and I had done things a little differently, that’s all.”

I nod. “Me too,” I admit. “At the same time, though, I wonder if we had done things differently and if Tyler and I had stayed, you and I wouldn’t have the same appreciation for each other that we’re starting to gain.”

He watches me closely for several moments, nothing on his face giving away what he’s thinking. I wonder if I’ve hurt his feelings somehow. “I agree,” he finally whispers, reaching over to run the backs of his fingers down my cheek. “I’ll be the first to admit that I didn’t realize just how much I took you for granted until you were gone. I always believed I knew exactly what you meant to me, but after you left, I wondered whether or not I’d ever actually told you any of that. Every day that you were gone, I thought of something else I wanted to say to you if I ever saw you again. Then when I finally did see you, I forgot every one of those things. What mattered most was that you were finally in my life again and even that very first day when you opened the door to me in Omaha, I vowed to show you rather than tell you. You’ve always been my world, Samantha, and though I can’t seem to stop screwing things up now, I will never take you for granted again.”

Before I know what I’m doing, I’m in his lap again, kissing him desperately as much for his words as my sudden need to show him what he means to me. There’s no regard that it’s early evening, that we’re outside, and that we’re in full view of our son and Leo. After his initial surprise, he responds just as eagerly and if it weren’t for the sounds of disgust coming from somewhere behind us, I think he’d have taken me right on that table.

––––-o––––-

For dinner, we settle on ordering a couple pizzas and taking them down to the basement where Tyler picked out several movies
for us to watch. While we wait on the pizza delivery, I wander down to Leo’s. We talked a bit earlier while Samantha napped, but I still need to ask him to do something for me.

“You want me to what?” he asks, staring at me as though I’ve got two heads. We’re standing at the end of the dock overlooking the lake and all I can imagine is what it’ll be like to once again become Samantha’s husband down here.

I sigh, looking over at my best friend. “I need you to talk to Natalie for me,” I repeat. “I promised Sam I would cut ties with her, but there’s still so much I don’t understand about this whole situation. For her to show up at the hospital and harass my pregnant fiancée which could have so easily made her lose our baby is beyond unacceptable. It’s unforgivable. And I want to know why.”

“And what the fuck makes you think she’ll tell me a damn thing?” Leo shoots back.

I turn to face him full on, glaring at him. “Don’t fucking play dumb with me,” I warn him. “You think I don’t know you two hooked up after she and I split up?” Leo pales slightly. “I don’t care. You two do whatever you want. But I’ll tell you now, she does not step foot on my property. Not after the shit she’s pulled. Clear?”

Leo nods slightly uneasily. “Yeah, clear,” he mutters. He takes a deep drag of his cigarette. “And I’ll talk to her. Matt, I swear I had no idea she was going to show up at the hospital like that…”

“Yeah, I know,” I respond. “And I’d rather not discuss it any further. I need to get back to my family. Let me know what you find out.”

With that, I turn and head back to the house, wondering if this will work out the way I think it will. I’m not sure which direction I want it to go at this point. Just another level of stress to add to my shoulders.

I arrive back inside just in time to see Samantha accepting the pizzas and with a smile; she leads me down the stairs where Tyler is waiting rather impatiently. Samantha expertly directs him on where to sit so he’ll be able to see the movie and eat and drink without making too much of a mess. She and I curl up on the couch, and I’m once again getting the sense of what family life is supposed to be. Growing up, it was my mother, my sisters, and me at home eight months out of the year. Mom did everything in her power to make sure I didn’t feel left out with all the girls and she did a damn good job of it. We did things together while Dad was deployed to various countries up until I was about fourteen when my older sisters started spending more and more time out at the house with their friends. That didn’t bother me too much; even as I kid I thought they were conceited and snobby. When Dad was home, he was more focused on his work than spending time with us. That’s not to say we didn’t have vacations or family nights every so often, but due to his naval training, everything we did during those times was by very strict regiment and schedule. There was no room for spontaneity.

I think that’s what caused Claire and me to pull away from our family when we did. We both always said when we had our own families we’d do things differently. We’d bring the good things from our childhood—usually whatever came from our mother—and build on that. Our kids wouldn’t be held up to ridiculous standards they could never reach for no reason other than that’s what we wanted. Our kids would grow up reaching for dreams they wanted to achieve and we would be there to support them all the way. She found the same values when she met Danny, and I found them with Samantha. All things considered, I think we’ve done pretty well for ourselves.

Looking down at the little boy laughing his ass off at the movie, then at Samantha’s belly, I wonder how I could have possibly thought I was living to my full potential without this. And to know that there are people in my life that I’ve trusted for years that are trying to take this away from me makes my blood boil. I’m not a violent man and I’ve never been prone to violent tendencies, but I will not hesitate to take down anyone conspiring to hurt my family in any way.

After the first movie, we have a brief intermission up in the kitchen making ice cream sundaes with dozens of topping options. I cringe as Samantha finishes off her hot fudge, rainbow sprinkles, cherries, and shredded cheddar cheese. Apparently I’d forgotten all about the weird pregnancy cravings she had with
Tyler. And they got pretty weird towards the end…

“Mom, why are you eating that?”
Tyler asks, his face crinkling with disgust. “That’s gross.”

Samantha rolls her eyes and I smirk knowingly, but wisely keep my mouth shut. “This is what the baby wants to eat,” she explains to
Tyler. “She doesn’t think it’s gross. She thinks it’s delicious.”

“The baby is weird,” Tyler says decisively as we all settle in the basement again. “Really weird.”

I can’t hold back my barking laugh at his declaration, and though Sam glares at me, she’s fighting her own laugh. “Easy, buddy,” I warn him, chuckling. “You want to be careful who you’re calling weird.”

“Why?” he asks, cocking his head to the side in a gesture so reminiscent of myself that I lose my words. “What did I want?”

Tyler and Samantha are clueless. “You, my dear sweet baby boy,” Samantha begins, taking a bite of her cheese covered ice cream, “wanted french fries day and night.”

“Yeah, he did,” I mutter, shaking my head and starting on my own ice cream. There were nights Samantha would wake up at two in the morning demanding that I find her french fries. One night I actually had to drive her twenty miles to the only twenty-four fast food restaurant in the area to satisfy her. I slept in the driver’s seat while she ate. If cheese is what she’s craving this time, I got off easy.

Tyler seems to think that’s an acceptable answer and we start the next movie with our desserts. Setting her empty bowl on the coffee table, she curls up against me in the corner of the couch, tucking her legs beneath her. I chuckle watching her get more comfortable by burrowing into me. I wrap my arms around her and kiss her head. “You’re adorable,” I whisper to her. “Even if you put cheese on your ice cream.”

She half-heartedly slaps me in the chest, but makes no move to pull away from me. For the first time in weeks, I feel at ease and actually find myself not thinking about anything, and that’s probably the best feeling I could ever imagine.