Your Desire (8 page)

“I think Sandra would like to be where I am now,” she said in his ear, panting to get the words out. The way the woman had looked at Kailen, as though she owned him, tore at Derica. If that was him with her in the painting…

He grunted. “She’s a bitch. Nick should drop her.”

“She wants you.” The thought of people around them, their public display, the reassurance that Kailen was here with her, pushed her on. Just a little more and she’d be free of this burning ache low in her belly.

“She’s a bitch in heat. She wants every man. Except Nick, and that’s what drives him crazy. It’s been that way since they met, modeling for me.” He raised his head, holding himself still inside her. “Do you wish it was her with me instead of you?”

Her low, hard laugh took her by surprise. “I’d pull out every strand of her hair if I found her back here with you. And then I’d get nasty.”

His chuckle warmed her. “That’s my girl.” Then his smile disappeared. His gaze dropped to her lips and he took them in an almost savage conquest. His cock drove into her, giving her everything she craved.

The metal of his zipper teased the tender skin of her thighs. His open mouth found her shoulder where he sucked then scraped her with his teeth. Without warning she felt herself soaring. She held her breath, trembling, unable to speak or even moan. But Kailen moaned, pressing his forehead to hers, pulsing inside her and holding himself rigid as he climaxed.

He dropped her leg and sagged against her. “I don’t think I can move.”

Breathing in short, shallow pants, coming down from her own high, she knew how he felt. With effort, she raised her arms to wrap around his back. Someone behind them cleared his throat. Kailen pushed away from the wall and turned, shielding her with his body.

“Thanks for the show,” a soft voice said, then footsteps moved off.

He heaved a sigh and smiled at her. Zipping his pants as she did up her blouse he asked, “Did you know he was there?”

“Not really, although I know people saw us.” She grinned. “I should be scandalized, but it was damned exciting.”

Buttoning his shirt, he gave her a serious look. “Suppose this had been someplace where your colleagues hung out. Would it still have been exciting?”

Her breath caught at the thought. “Well, the situation would be different. I wouldn’t go anywhere dressed like this where company people would be, it—it just wouldn’t have happened, is all.”

He nodded as though he’d expected that answer.

She touched his arm. “It was really something, but … you understand, don’t you?”

With a gentle kiss on her cheek, and his fingers furrowing her hair, he whispered, “I understand completely.”

CHAPTER SIX

The last week had been different from the previous two. Knowing he loved Derica made each moment with her precious, every moment apart like something was missing inside him. He’d never felt that way before, even when he’d met and married Emily, years ago when he’d been very young and dumb as shit. Steven, as everyone thought of him back then, had
thought
he was in love, but he hadn’t even known the meaning of the word. Neither had Emily.

Just out of grad school, they believed they had the world all figured out. Mutual friends had introduced them and they’d immediately become lovers. Marriage a couple of months later seemed just the thing, and he’d ignored warnings from family that they didn’t know each other well enough.

Taking a job at a big advertising firm was a way to use his art and make decent money while he gained a reputation as a painter. Emily dabbled in real estate, an acceptable part-time position that allowed her to make a splash in society, as her wealthy parents expected her to do.

After two years, when Steven decided his dream of art had to take precedence over a career in business, neither Emily nor her parents were happy. Once his decision had been made, the marriage hadn’t lasted another six months. A short time later, Emily had become a corporate vice president’s wife and he’d become Kailen.

The experience had given him a healthy respect for what the business world demanded of someone with ambition, and what was accepted in that arena. It had also taught him what love wasn’t, which is how he now recognized what it was.

No matter how much Derica denied it, his lifestyle, his work, his friends—none of it fit what she needed to push ahead and succeed. Deep inside, she knew it, too. That had been painfully obvious in her response to his question last week at the club. His forays into exhibitionism were certainly limited, but the AG Club and places like it were part of his social life. They most definitely were not part of hers. He didn’t see how she could keep a foot in both worlds and find real happiness in either. Eventually she would make a choice, and why wouldn’t she choose what she’d worked years to attain?

Sighing as he finished dressing, he reminded himself that he’d never actually told Derica he loved her. Of course, she hadn’t told him, either, which in his mind confirmed that she was really only comfortable with what they had physically—and only then if it was removed from her job and colleagues. They never even went to her apartment, for Christ’s sake, a place that reflected her true nature. No, when it came down to holding her back from what she’d worked her whole life to achieve, or letting her go, he’d let her go. Real love didn’t keep someone from their dreams. That was an Emily Lesson.

Sticking his wallet in his back pocket, he picked up his keys from the dresser and took a long appraisal of himself in the mirror. Unusual for the weekends, he’d made a concession and shaved that morning, though he knew by afternoon he’d have the shadowed, dark look that characterized his commercial photos. He’d had his hair trimmed the previous afternoon so that it only grazed his ear lobes, one of which sported his trademark diamond stud. A black tee shirt and jeans, clean but worn.

He looked just a little rough, a bit non-traditional. Well, actually, the typical “bad boy” it was rumored good girls always fell for stared back at him. Since Derica was the only “good girl” he wanted and this was their first time with her colleagues since the night of the photo shoot, Kailen was uncharacteristically nervous. He looked the way she liked him to look—when they were on their own. But did he look right for her boss’ home across the Bay? He shrugged at his reflection. It was a
picnic
, after all.

Scooping up a small package from the coffee table as he passed, he left the loft and headed for the garage across the street where he kept the car. As infrequently as he used the small vehicle, he wondered why he kept it at all. He found a good spot for the present—a painting—on the floor behind his seat. Pulling out into traffic, he wondered again if Derica would like it. In the time since they’d met, he hadn’t given her a single gift, but he wanted her to have this.

She waited on the curb, saving him the effort of finding a parking space. Conservatively dressed in full-flowing slacks and a loose-fitting sweater, Kailen noted with resignation that she looked exactly like the professional woman she was, so unlike the woman of the previous week who had made love in the public hallway of a club then taunted him the rest of the night with her cock-teasing dances and temping glances. There’d been nothing conservative about
that
woman.

It wasn’t until she was ready to get in that Kailen noticed a large box on the sidewalk beside her. She put it in the back seat then climbed in the front.

“Hi.” He smiled and leaned over to kiss her.

“Hi, back,” she replied when he raised his head.

A horn blew behind them, and Kailen put his mind to driving.

“What’s in the box?”

“The dress I wore at the photo shoot. It’s not mine, I just rented it and I thought if you don’t mind a detour I’d return it. It’s a little out of the way though, in the three hundred block of Post.”

“That’s no problem.” He made a right at the next corner, heading toward downtown instead of the bridge. “So, are you ready to face your friends again, dragging along the underwear model?”

“Lord! I’d forgotten all about that billboard, although I did pay more attention the week after the party. The funny thing is, once I started looking for it, I saw it everywhere.”

He grinned at her. “And?”

“The real thing is
sooo
much better!”

Laughing out loud, he winked at her.

“No, seriously.” She ran her hand up his thigh.

His muscles tightened at her touch, but he maintained his smile.

“All of the bicycling really pays off, and it shows in the ad, believe me.”

Distracted by her fingers skimming to the top of his leg, he almost didn’t stop for the red light at the bottom of the hill. His smile became strained.

Her fingers curved around his cock, which was now hard with need and aching to escape one enclosed space in order to invade another.

“But where your … attributes look so damn good blown up and plastered on those billboards…” she dropped her voice to a seductive low “—they
feel
like heaven.”

“I swear to God, Derica,” he ground out through clenched teeth, “I’m going to pull into the darkest corner of the darkest parking garage and have my dirty way with you if you don’t stop right now.” The light changed and once again Kailen was prodded into action only when horns blew behind him.

“Promises, promises,” she said with a laugh, but she removed her hand. “You need to do a better job keeping your mind on driving.”

“Yeah, thanks,” he muttered.

“You haven’t commented on how I look,” she said with a pout in her voice.

“You look beautiful and you know it. The business woman out for an afternoon tea.”

She slapped his arm playfully. “Even when a woman knows she looks all right, it’s nice to hear her man say it.”

Her man.
Definitely what he wanted but was afraid to count on.

“This is different from what I usually wear. We’ll see if The Wives approve. Their nod is even more important now, with the promotion being decided.”

His attention jumped into high gear. “Promotion? You haven’t said anything about a promotion.”

Frowning, she looked at the street sign as they zipped through an intersection. “I haven’t? It’s big—something I’ve really hoped for. Daniel told me about it the week after that client party we went to. They’ve been deciding for weeks now and I heard it’s come down to me and Joel Miller.” She pointed out the windshield. “There’s the shop, up in the next block on the right.”

“Will you be long?”

“No, I don’t think so. Believe me, it’s not the kind of place that’ll have crowds.”

“I’ll circle the block, then.” He turned on the four-way flashers and double parked while she got the box out of the backseat. She probably hadn’t seen his package because she hadn’t pressed him about it Later, after he took her home, there would be time enough to give it to her and talk.

And they’d talk in
her
apartment, where she could feel the dichotomy of their positions. As much as he didn’t want to lose her, each day he needed her more. The longer they went on, the harder the break would be when it happened. He felt torn, not wanting to give her up, but not enjoying knowing the loss was coming regardless of what he wanted. It would almost be better to force the point.

When he approached the area for the second time, he saw her come out of a small dress shop. His heart raced and he felt an idiotic smile fight its way to the surface, just like it did every time he saw her.

She tossed a wrapped box of some sort on the floor of the backseat before getting in.

“I forgot to tell you. It’s Hannah McNaught’s birthday. That’s the reason for the backyard barbeque. I was lucky. They had a wonderful scarf that I picked up for a song.”

Kailen remembered Hannah was Derica’s boss’s wife, and that she’d given Derica a hard time when he’d accompanied Derica to the company party. Given that, he already had a bad impression of the woman, but he would have brought her a gift—a little still life or something—if he’d known it was her birthday. In fact, he could send her some token next week. A surprise like that might go some distance toward helping Derica get that promotion.

“I thought we were going to a casual picnic, not a special event. Am I dressed all right?” He felt her eyes on him.

“You’re going to stand out like a sore thumb.”

Shit!
The last thing he wanted was to embarrass her. He frowned, wondering if they had time to cut back to his apartment so he could change.

“The women are going to fight like hellions to get near you, and the men will hope whatever you’ve got will rub off a little on them.” She smoothed her hands across his shoulders. “I think you look perfect.”

The tension he’d felt all morning flowed from him. “Well then, if you’re happy, I’m happy.”

“Trust me,” she said as she leaned toward him, “I’m happy.” With a flick of her tongue and gentle press of her lips, she kissed his cheek.

The idiotic smile made its way to the surface again. He only wished they could stay happy.

With a glance in the rear view mirror, he saw the store Derica had just come out of shimmer in the morning sun and vanish. He slammed on the brakes and turned to focus his attention on the spot where the store had been. The squeal caused by the car behind him as it skidded to a halt went unheard, as did the horn blaring when the irate driver pulled around him. Where the store had been, he was
certain
, two other shops now abutted: Johnson’s Jewels and Sweet Secrets. He shook his head, ignoring Derica’s puzzled frown. He suddenly had a bad feeling about the day. A premonition that, like the dress shop, his hopes would soon disappear.

Then the memory of the shop faded from his mind.

* * * *

The afternoon had warmed nicely. But then, it was always warmer on this side of the Bay. Derica rocked lazily in a wicker chair on the back patio.
Sausalito was a great place to live, and this house was the best of the best. Set on a hillside, the front boasted unmatched views of
San Francisco and the Bay, and the back climbed up the hillside in terraced levels. Her eyes half closed, she thought she could live here, unmoving, the rest of her life if someone would bring her food and drink at regular intervals. And Kailen. She wouldn’t want to live here or anywhere without Kailen.

She watched him as he played badminton with the handful of children who’d come to Hannah’s birthday cook-out. Just as she’d predicted, none of the men had come in tee shirts, choosing instead polos, or even dress shirts with their Dockers and slacks. The couple of braver souls who’d shown up in jeans wore designer labels. Derica was sure they’d never consider sitting on the grass in them, not for something as trivial as showing the McNaught’s granddaughter a butterfly as it made its rounds along the row of daisies and dahlias. Not like Kailen had.

As soon as they’d entered the house, she could almost smell the arousal from some of the women. If Victoria Haber had literally licked her lips in anticipation of eating him, it wouldn’t have surprised Derica. Instead,
Victoria
satisfied herself by latching onto Kailen immediately, taking charge of introducing him to the mixed group of family and company employees. The men had eyed him warily, as though they, too, scented the change in the room and were uncertain of how to handle it.

Kailen dealt with their visit in the most perfect manner, charming the women and making “man talk” with the guys, remarkably antagonizing no one. Before dinner the men had found their way into the den to watch the obligatory game. It surprised her that even Joel Miller, the man with whom she was in competition for the promotion, followed the group into the den. How many times had he told her he hated football? Yet there he went, like a sheep.

Instead of joining the men in the den, Kailen played catch in the backyard with the six or seven children who’d come with their parents. At the few other casual social events she’d attended, she didn’t remember anyone paying attention to the children, and they were thrilled with the notice. As she watched, Kailen played with the children, and Victoria and a couple of other women hanging on the sidelines played with the thought of Kailen playing with them.
Fat chance.
Flashing her smiles when he caught her eye and taking her aside for a scorching kiss when he came in to wash up for dinner, he left little doubt who was on his mind.

He’d relaxed with her after their meal, until the older boys—eight or nine years old, she guessed—cajoled him into a match of badminton. Then, with a smile as his apology, he’d gone off to swat the birdie over the net until now, when the kids looked ready to collapse.

“Time for cake!” Martha, Hannah and Daniel’s daughter, called to the group.

Derica stretched her arms over her head and forced herself out of her indulgent, lazy mood. When she stood, she glimpsed Martha disappearing into the dining room where the two of them had earlier arranged the cake and gifts. The elaborately decorated cake with its discreet single candle was visible from the patio, while the table piled high with wrapped presents stood to the side. She hoped Martha’s son had retrieved her gift from the car and placed it with the rest of the packages, but as she directed her gaze to the tall, dark-haired man making his way from the lower lawn, she could think of only one gift
she
wanted unwrapped. A quick glance at her watch showed they couldn’t leave quite yet. But soon…