Your To Take - Connaghers 03 (13 page)

Ripping off his blindfold, Jesse hopped up off the car like
it’d suddenly roasted his ass and joined Elias. Side by side, they turned and
faced her with Vicki behind them. She wasn’t one to cower or hide…unless the
threat was her mother.

The formidable matriarch of the Connagher family wasn’t a
tall woman physically, nor exceptionally beautiful or stunning by typical
beauty standards. She radiated confidence and power, though, and it only took
one look in to her dark eyes to see where her children had inherited their
steely core. Mr. Connagher had passed away before Elias had the chance to meet
him, but he’d have given his right arm to meet the man who’d managed to tame
her long enough to sire three children. By Vicki’s stories, her parents had
truly loved one another.

Mrs. Connagher smiled and chills dripped down Elias’s spine.
“Here I despaired of you ever settling your mind on one man and now I see two.
Does that mean double the grandbabies?”

Chapter Fourteen

Vicki wanted a bottomless pit to open up and swallow her.
Her stomach quivered so tight and uneasy that all she wanted to do was whirl
away and run off set like demons chased her. What a nightmare. She’d taken
great pains over the last few years to make sure Mama only saw her at her best,
and they’d still blown up at each other. What the hell would this be like?

Caught panting between Elias and Jesse in risqué
clothing. God, please, just kill me now.

Mama hugged Victor and for the time being, took delight in
tormenting his fiancée. That gave Vicki enough time to smooth her dress and
find her confidence. She’d faced down mean old judges with the power to throw
her in jail if he didn’t like her blouse. She could certainly deal with Mama.

“Vicki.” Mama smiled and held out her arms. Vicki’s face
felt frozen and brittle, but she hugged Mama and gave her a dutiful peck on the
cheek. “How’s my girl?”

“Fine, Mama.” She knew Mama wanted an introduction or at
least an excuse about what was going on, but Vicki refused to give an inch.
Make
her ask. That keeps the advantage with me.

It worked at least a little, because Mama’s jaws tightened
and her eyes narrowed. She turned to Elias and held out her hand. “Detective
Reyes.”

“Ma’am.”

“I thought you were out of the picture.”

His neck turned red, which was almost enough to make Vicki
laugh out loud and relax. Almost, but not quite, because she was more worried
about the other man standing on her right.

“I’m Jesse Inglemarre, ma’am.”

Mama took his hand, squeezing hard evidently, because Vicki
noted the way his face tensed a moment before relaxing. His shoulders dropped,
his body easing into the fierce grip like he did when she touched him. Suddenly
she was so pissed, so mindless with jealousy and fury, that she couldn’t
breathe. Couldn’t move. She wanted to strike out with violence, even against
her mother.

“Ah,” Mama breathed out and released him. “So the apple
doesn’t fall far from the tree after all. When you picked Reyes, I honestly
started to wonder. I thought maybe I’d been wrong.”

“You’re never wrong, Mama.” Vicki didn’t even try to keep
the bitterness out of her voice. At least that was better than violence. “I
learned that a long time ago. Just another way I’ve let you down, right?”

“Is that what you think?”

Unperturbed by Mama’s unusually quiet voice, Vicki wrapped
her arm around Jesse’s waist and pulled him against her. With Elias on her
other side, she’d be shielded from the fiery darts Mama would lob at her. “I
know
it. First I quit my job at the firm after years of grad school and grueling
overtime to try and make partner, all on a lark—to start my own clothing line.
Now I’m dating two men at the same time. You’ve despaired of me ever getting
married and settling down.”

“Quitting that law firm was the best thing you’ve ever
done.”

Braced for an I-told-you-so tirade, it took Vicki several
moments to realize that was actually a compliment. Stunned, she could only
stare at Mama, searching those dark eyes so like her own for the truth. What
she saw horrified her.

A tear streaked down her mother’s face. “So that could only
be
your
self-doubt, honey, if you think I’m disappointed in you. Same
with Reyes. I knew you two were fire and oil, too explosive together. You’d
kill each other before you’d ever work out enough of a truce for marriage, but
that’s exactly what you wanted. In a way, you were punishing me by picking an
upstanding man I had to like but you never intended marriage. Don’t look at me
like that, Beulah Virginia.”

Gaping, Vicki flinched at both the use of her real name and
the sharper tone of voice, even while Mama dashed her tears away impatiently.

“Don’t stand there so innocently shocked. If you’d really
wanted Reyes, then you would have demanded he marry you or get the hell out.
Forget this polite ‘dating’ and sometimes sleeping together crap. Either you
love him or you don’t. Make up your damned mind and quit punishing me.”

“I’m not…”

“Aren’t you?” Mama cut in, taking a step closer to glare
into her face. “You want to play pity party because you think you’ve let me
down, but in reality, I’m the one who let you down, right?”

Vicki backed away but ran into a hard body. At first she
thought it was Elias, but he would have protected her from this confrontation.
Her brother wouldn’t. Victor’s hands settled on her shoulders to hold her in
place and comfort her at the same time. “Don’t run from this conversation,
Little V. It’s beyond time that you two aired your grievances.”

“This is your doing,” she whispered, blinking back tears.
“You brought her here.”

“Yes. Because I love you both and I can’t stand seeing you
hurt each other any longer.”

“You’re still mad about something that happened almost
fifteen years ago.” Mama sighed and dropped her gaze to the floor. Vicki
couldn’t hold back the tears, then, because her mother looked so dejected. “I
let you down and you can’t forgive me. Every choice you’ve made since then was
a deliberate act of punishment and rebellion.”

Elias pressed closer to her side and whispered in her ear.
“What happened?”

She shook her head, but that didn’t stop Mama. Nothing would
ever stop her. “A smooth-talking devil tried to take advantage of her while she
was up north visiting my mother.”

The cop in Elias made him tense. Vicki knew he was assuming
the worst. “He regretted his mistake pretty quickly when I kneed him in the
groin and broke his nose before he could do much but rip my shirt.”

Victor laughed. “Then Conn got his hands on the little
runt.”

“My poor taste in boys nearly got my brother arrested.
Strike one for me, right, Mama?” Vicki couldn’t keep the sharpness out of her
voice, even though her mother winced. “You never trusted me to go up to Miss
Belle’s alone after that.”

Mama’s eyes flared with surprise. “That’s why you quit
going, isn’t it? Honey, I had no idea you wanted to go again. We thought you
might be scared to go back and deal with the gossip.”

She laughed, but the sound hurt her ears. “Right. Have to
worry about those gossipers. It was all my fault anyway.”

“I never…”

“Yes, you did.” Each word rang like a sledgehammer in her
head. “You said I should have had better taste than that. You said you were
disappointed.
In me.
Not the asshole trying to rip off my shirt. Me.”

“Honey, I was out of my mind with worry. As God is my
witness, that boy was lucky he had Conn to deal with instead of your daddy. By
the time we drove up to Missouri—and knew you were all right—he’d calmed down,
but I’d listened to him rant and rave for six hundred miles. Add that to my own
rage, and it was all I could do not to horsewhip that fool, no matter how rich
and important his family.

“I was not at my best. I apologize. I said the wrong thing.
I know it. I never once blamed you for what happened. Never. But you refused to
ever let me tell you how sorry I truly am. I love you more than anything in the
world, honey. Don’t you know that? I’ll say it again. I’m sorry. I was wrong to
make you feel badly after such a traumatic event.”

Vicki had to touch her mouth to make sure she wasn’t gaping
like a beached fish. She’d never heard her mother apologize or admit that was
wrong. Not once in thirty years.

“However,” Mama said slowly, drawing the word out.

Vicki groaned out loud.
I should have known an apology
was too easy.

“You had no business dating a boy like that. Yes, his family
was rich and influential, but he was all show, no heart. He was like a sleek,
flashy horse prancing in the arena, but as soon as you ask him to run a mile,
he ends up winded and lame because he’s not built to run. You were too
concerned with status, fitting in, making the right sort of friends, and that
had me worried. I’ve been worried for a long time, but I couldn’t get you to
stand in the same room without arguing about something ridiculous.”

“I don’t care about status.”

“The hell you don’t. Take a look at that fancy car behind
you. Why did you become a defense attorney? Why did you take the job at Wagner
& Leeman’s in the first place?”

Vicki opened her mouth to retort, but Mama cut her off with
a sharp gesture.

“Don’t get me wrong. I’m not slamming attorneys. Our justice
system needs them. But you didn’t help the truly innocent people who need a good
defense. You were getting drug dealers and money launderers out of jail when
that’s exactly where they should have been rotting. It only took meeting your
boss one time for me to know he was the worst sort of bottom feeder, every bad
cliché and joke about lawyers wrapped up into one. Yet you slaved for him,
determined to make partner. And for what? A flashy Jaguar? A high-priced
downtown condo?

“And here you are again, pussyfooting around, tied up in
knots about your men. Not because they’re not willing to work something out for
you. Not because you don’t love them both, because I can see it as clear as the
nose on your face. No, you’re afraid of what people will think. You’re afraid
to follow your heart instead of worrying about climbing some societal ladder
that only you care about. You’re going to be in the public eye for this fashion
show, and you’re frozen with indecision because people might talk. There might
be
scandal
.”

Vicki didn’t know what to say. Her mind felt numb, cold and
shaken. Was that true? Did she care too much about what everyone else thought
and expected, instead of just following her heart?

“Everybody lets people down no matter how they try not to,”
Mama said in a dull, heavy voice as she turned to leave. “I’m sorry, Vicki. I
let you down. I hope someday you can forgive me.”

Bundled up in a quilt—made by Mama—on the couch, Vicki
snuggled deeper into Elias’s side. He had his arm around her shoulders, while
Jesse stretched out on her other side with his head in her lap. She ran her fingers
over and over through his hair and tried to think about what Mama had said, but
she was hollow inside.

Crying always did that to her.

Elias had managed to come back tonight instead of working
late, and her tears had shockingly not driven him off. His fingers made slow,
gentle circles on her upper arm. “Why didn’t you ever tell me about that jerk?”

“Because.” She shrugged, trying to be nonchalant, but Elias
let out a low growl. “It’s not something I’m very proud of.”

“Hell, Vik, you busted the asshole’s nose. I’d be pretty
damned proud of that.”

“I didn’t have a crush on him or anything, but I did like
the way people treated me when they thought we were dating. Usually my brothers
and I showed up for a few weeks and everybody treated us like we had the plague.
Once I started dating Jared, everybody wanted to talk to me. I was invited to
go to the lake, shopping, everything. A group of us drove up to Springfield and
hung out at the mall. That’s when I first became interested in clothes and
fashion, because I’d never gone to a mall with Mama. She’s not a big shopper,
and we usually bought all our clothes in town instead of driving down to
Dallas.”

“When did you decide to become a lawyer?”

A wry smile twisted Vicki’s lips. “When my brother was
almost thrown in jail for beating Jared up. I’d already broken his nose, but
Conn just about killed him. I had to pull him off, and if anyone other than
Miss Belle had been there, I’m sure they would have thrown him in prison. It
would have been my fault, and I was determined to find a way to get him—and
others like him—out of prison. Somewhere along the way, I lost sight of that.”

She swallowed hard and forced herself to broach the painful
subject they’d been avoiding—but still stewing about—for so long. “When Donnie
was killed by one of our clients, I was sick. I mean it, Elias. I threw up in
the women’s restroom, over and over, on my knees, clinging to the toilet and
wishing I’d taken the bullet instead of him. I’d been lying to myself for so
long, pretending that I was happy with my job, that I was doing the right
thing. When he died, all I could think about was: what if that had been you
shot dead?
By my client.
I’ll never forgive myself that Donnie’s gone,
but God, Elias, if it’d been you…I would have killed myself.”

“Ah, babe.” He held her, pressing his mouth to her temple.
“I felt guilty too. I kept thinking that bullet should have had my name on it,
not his. I didn’t have kids who’d have to grow up without a daddy. I didn’t
have a wife who’d cry herself to sleep for years. But I finally convinced
myself it wasn’t my fault. Shit happens, bad shit, I know, but there wasn’t
anything I could do about it. There wasn’t anything you could do about it
either. Even dirtbags have rights. I didn’t like it, but you were only doing
your job.”

“I left my office that day and went to the park.”

Elias tensed slightly against her. She’d managed to surprise
him after all. “Even then, you went to Jesse.”

“I was too ashamed to call you. I was afraid you’d curse me
out, or worse, just blow me off. God, Elias, if I’d called you and you refused
to talk to me, I don’t know what I would’ve done. I was so out of my mind I had
to see someone. Someone…safe.” She curled her hand around Jesse’s cheek and his
lips brushed her fingers. “Deep down, I knew he’d be there for me. He wouldn’t
question or judge me, because I knew Mama was right. Leeman is absolutely a
bottom feeder, but when he walks into a courtroom, everyone pales. I guess I
wanted people to quiver with fear when I walked into the courtroom too.”

“You make me quiver every time I see you. You’re one hell of
a woman, Vicki Connagher. I’m glad you and your brother beat that punk up. I’m
glad you’re a strong, powerful woman who’s willing to go up against anyone and
anything to make sure the law is followed. You were one hell of an attorney,
and if I were ever on the wrong side of the law, there’s no one else in the
world I’d want defending me.”