Your To Take - Connaghers 03 (17 page)

“Shut up! Don’t you dare say things like that about him!”

She took a defensive position between him and the bed, like
she’d take him down to protect Jesse.
Again, she’s choosing him over me.

“He’s mine.” Tears pooled in her eyes, but she didn’t back
down. She didn’t even reach out to him, like she knew he’d probably snap and
bite like a rabid dog. “I love you, Elias, but I won’t let you hurt him. I love
him too and he’s mine to protect now, even from you.”

“Damn it, don’t you dare cry.” Whirling, he tore through her
house toward the front door. “Don’t stand there and expect me to pretend like I
didn’t come home and find you in bed with another man. I’m not a fool, Vik.
Hate me for leaving you last night, fine, but don’t punish me with another
man.”

“Elias, just listen for a minute.” He paused in the door but
didn’t turn around. He couldn’t bear to see the hurt and desperation in her
eyes. “For what it’s worth, I didn’t sleep with him last night to punish you.
It was just…time. I wanted him, not to punish you, but to love him. I’ve never
lied to you about how I felt about him.”

“So you took him. I got it. I understand perfectly.”

“I still love you more than ever.”

He couldn’t help the derisive snort that escaped his mouth.
“Yeah, babe, somehow I have a hard time believing that.”

The door slammed in her face. Elias was gone. Vicki stared
after him, replaying his parting words over and over in her mind. The look on
his face. Such rage, hatred, disgust. He looked at her like she was the most
revolting excuse for human skin he’d ever seen in his life. How could he look
at her like that after everything they’d been through?

They’d talked about this so many times. It’d been incredibly
hot to call him up and whisper all the naughty things she’d done with Jesse.
She’d never hidden anything from Elias, but the reality had been too much for
him to deal with.

Behind her, the rustle of sheets told her Jesse had gotten
up. She brushed the tears away and turned to face him. He stood beside the bed,
tugging on his pants. His hair hung down in his eyes and his shoulders were
slumped and small, like he was trying to make himself appear harmless and
defenseless against the big bad cop.

“So you’re leaving me too?”

He straightened a bit and shook his head enough to get the
hair out of his eyes. Even now the bright color of his eyes pierced her to the
bone. Another flood of tears trickled down her cheeks. “I’m sorry, Vicki. I
never meant for this to happen.”

“I know. Me neither.”

He hesitated, watching her like he might have to make a run
for safety, one leg in his pants and the other still bare. He looked lost,
already assuming that invisible persona of the streets, trying to blend in and
hide.

She choked back a sob and swiped the tears off her cheeks
with both hands. “You said I was your home.”

Finally, he was there, wrapping her tight against him. She
sobbed into his chest while he murmured in her ear and rocked her gently back
and forth. Just like that day in the park when she’d found out that Donnie was
dead.

Now I’ve lost Elias too.

“Do you regret taking me last night?”

She breathed in Jesse’s sweet coconut scent. “No, never. I’m
glad, Jesse, even if you decide to follow him out the door.”

“It might be for the best.”

She raised her head and searched his eyes, clutching him
tighter. “Absolutely not. I’ve never been happier than these past weeks with
you. You’ve helped my dreams come true. Those dreams will die without you.”

“It was never my intention to come between you and Elias.”

“I know, and I love you for it. Please don’t leave unless
that’s really what you want.”

“That’s the last thing I want, Vicki.” He dropped his
forehead against hers and wrapped his body around hers. More than a hug—he used
his whole body and being to hold her. “I can’t breathe at the thought of
leaving you. But if you ask me to leave, I will.”

She tightened her arms around his neck and hopped up to wrap
her legs around his waist. He gathered her closer, shifting her higher in his
arms. “Come to bed and hold me.”

Cuddled in his arms, she tried to relax. She tried to
remember all the wonderful things that had happened to her in the past
twenty-four hours. Her line had been a success. Her donation had sold for an
incredible amount of money to benefit charity. She had an attentive, sexy lover
in her bed.

Yet she couldn’t forget that her back was cold and Elias’s
spot between her and the door was empty.

Chapter Eighteen

Cradling the phone with her shoulder, Vicki stirred chopped
chocolate into the brownie batter. She’d probably gain ten pounds waiting and
hoping that Elias would come back. The phone rang and rang until finally
rolling to his voicemail. Dread choked her but she didn’t cry any more. She’d
run out of tears while Jesse held her.

Even at his worst just after his partner had been killed,
Elias had always answered her calls. Yeah, he’d been short with her. A few
times he’d refused to talk to her, using the job as an excuse, but he’d always
at least answered. Now he wouldn’t even take her calls.

Her fingers trembled but she dialed another number. She
didn’t think about it for fear she’d just hang up. As soon as she heard the
click she didn’t wait for anyone to speak. “Mama?”

“Vicki, honey, what’s wrong?”

Okay, so maybe she wasn’t out of tears after all. She swallowed
hard, trying not to blubber like a little kid. She’d lost countless boyfriends
over the years and she would’ve rather cut off her arm than discuss it with her
mother, but Elias was different. Losing him made her feel like someone had cut
out her heart.

“Are you hurt?” Mama’s voice sharpened, but she wasn’t one
for hysterics. “Where are you?”

“Elias left.” Vicki finally made her voice work. “He came
home and found me with Jesse.”

Several moments of silence made her stomach tighten. What
had she been thinking to call Mama of all people? She’d probably been
rehearsing a lecture since last week when she’d seen Vicki with both men. Hell,
she’d been telling her “I told you so” for years.

“Oh, honey, I’m so sorry. After what I saw the other day, I
thought you had an understanding with him.”

Relief made her shoulders droop but unfortunately cranked up
the waterworks even more. “So did I. He knew everything, Mama. I never lied or
hid from him. But he came home and saw me….”

“And he walked out.”

“Yeah. Now he won’t return my calls.”

Mama sighed. “Come home, honey. We’ll make your favorite
brownies. You can bring the young man too. I know you won’t want to leave him
behind.”

Closing her burning eyes, Vicki couldn’t breathe for a
minute. It meant the world to hear the acceptance in her mother’s voice. Yeah,
she wouldn’t want to leave Jesse behind, even if that meant she lost Elias
forever. Mama got that without even hearing the details of Jesse’s life before
he came to her. “I’ve got a batch of brownies already started.”

“Somehow I already knew that. It’s a good thing you didn’t
take after your grandma. She would’ve poisoned your cop.”

She managed to smile and even laugh a little. “Yeah, Miss
Belle could make a batch of brownies and wipe out the entire Dallas police
force.”
My cop.
Her throat and head ached, and all she wanted to do was
crawl back into bed. The business line had been ringing off the hook all day.
This should have been one of the highest days of victory in her entire life.
Her line had been a success. People were calling to place orders.

And all she wanted to do was drive home and let her mama
spoil her with brownies.

“Give him time, honey,” Mama said in a gentle voice she’d
only rarely ever heard. “No alpha wolf is going to welcome another male pissing
in his territory, let alone sniffing around his mate. His pride is stinging.
Give him enough time to let the pain in his heart override his hurt pride and
he’ll come home. Who knows, if you play him right, you might even get him to
grovel.”

Vicki shook her head. “Elias doesn’t grovel.”

“Oh, I imagine you and your young man might be able to come
up with something that will make even your cop come begging.”

Her face burned like she’d just stuck her whole head in the
hot oven. “Um, thanks, Mama. Really, I mean it. I was afraid you’d lecture me
or tell me good riddance or something.”

“Just promise me one thing, honey. When your cop slinks back
home and grovels enough to win an Academy Award, I want to see a ring on your
finger the next time you come home to the ranch.”

“A ring? Oh, Mama, I don’t know…”

“Honey, any man who loves you enough to share you despite
his pride is worth marrying and keeping forever.”

“I don’t think he wants to get married again. He had a rough
time with his first wife. She hated that he was a cop and was constantly trying
to get him to quit and find a safer job.”
Besides, I don’t know that he
loves me enough. He’s not here, is he?

“Do you want him to quit the force?”

“No.”

“Then marry him.”

“But…”

“I didn’t raise a doormat, Beulah Virginia.” Vicki winced at
her Mama’s raised voice and held the phone away from her ear. “If you want this
man, you tell him to marry you or get the hell out. I love you. Come home as
soon as you can.”

“I love you too, Mama.”

Jesse came to the doorway. The paleness of his face rocked
her off her feet, the world crumbling beneath her into an abyss. “Something’s
up—I’ve got to go.”

“Call me, honey.”

“I will. Bye.” She went to Jesse and he took both her hands
in his even though she still held the phone. “What’s wrong?”

“Did you ever reach Elias?”

She shook her head. Her heart pounded, her head so light it
was going to float away like a balloon. Her knees trembled. “What’s wrong? What
happened?”

“I just heard the news. A cop…” Jesse hesitated and he
gripped her hands so hard the plastic casing on the phone popped. “They were
clearing out a known drug house and a cop was shot. He…died.”

“Oh dear Jesus.” She jerked her hands free and dialed
Elias’s number again. Her fingers were so cold and numb that she got it wrong
and had to cancel the call, cursing the whole time. “Damn it, Elias, you’d
better answer the phone. Answer it, damn it!”

Tears blurred her vision. His voicemail. Again. She squeezed
the phone, fighting back the hysterics. Sobbing and wailing wouldn’t help anyone,
least of all Elias.
He’s not dead. He’s fine. He’s just pissed off at me.

But he’d never let her calls roll to voicemail like this.

Biting her lip so hard she tasted blood, she raced over to
the fridge and found his partner’s number. The phone rang twice, three times,
and she was crying, her shoulders shaking. She nearly sank to the floor, but
Jesse was there, holding her, keeping her on her feet. Dear God, Elias. He
couldn’t be gone.

“Hello.” Colby finally answered. By the wariness in his
voice, he knew exactly who’d called.

“Is Elias dead?”

“What? No. Of course not.”

“We heard the news. A cop died on a drug bust, and he won’t
answer the phone. Colby, don’t lie to me. I need to know if he’s okay.”

“Vicki, no, I wouldn’t lie to you. Hold on.”

She heard low voices and the static of the radio. Was that
Elias’s voice? She couldn’t be sure. It was too muffled. That son of a bitch.
If he was sitting there, too afraid to get on the phone and deal with her
himself…

She yelled into the phone. “Is Elias dead? Damn it, he’d
better be dead if he won’t answer his phone. He’d better be lying dead in the
street with a crater blown in his skull to scare me like this. I’ve been
calling him all day and then hear that a cop is dead and he won’t answer his
fucking phone?”

“Vicki, it’s me. I’m fine.”

Elias.
She dropped her head against the fridge and
sank farther into Jesse’s embrace, letting him take all her weight. “I thought
you were dead. I thought they killed you.”

“I’m sorry, babe. I didn’t know the news had broken already
or I would have answered. I just didn’t think.”

“You didn’t want to talk to
me
,” she replied in a
flat, dead voice. “Fine. I get it. You don’t have the balls to talk to me. You
don’t love me enough to work things out. That’s okay. I was wrong, I guess. I
was wrong about everything.”

He started to say something but she disconnected the call
and let the phone drop to the floor. It hit so hard the back popped off and the
battery skidded across the floor, but she left it. She didn’t care.

Jesse tucked his face close to hers. “What can I do? How can
I help?”

She straightened, squared her shoulders, lifted her chin,
and grabbed a tissue to blow her nose. Then she smiled at him, although it was
a weary one tinged in sadness. “Put those brownies in the oven for me?”

“You got it.”

“Then we’re going to watch every zombie movie known to man.”

“Sign me up for that too.” Jesse scraped the batter into the
greased pan and slid the brownies into the oven. “I’m always up for a good
zombie flick.”

“Good is debatable, but I love them anyway.”

He came to her, his hair loose about his face, his gorgeous
eyes somber. Her heart hurt just looking at him, but it was a good pain. He was
wearing his ratty old jeans again. If she checked his pockets, she’d probably
find small bills crumbled up in each one, and the rest spread out in his bag,
which she’d noticed at the door this morning. In case he had to make a run for
it. She knew without checking that she’d find all the clothes she’d bought for
him downstairs in the closet.

He’d gained back his normal weight, but his jeans still rode
low on his hips, especially with his hands shoved down in the pockets. He
didn’t say anything, but she read his doubt in the way his shoulders hunched
and he kept his eyes downcast. He still couldn’t believe she hadn’t kicked him
out to bring Elias home.

She reached around him, sliding her hand around his waist
and down into his jeans to grip his buttock, digging her fingers into his flesh
like he…she…enjoyed the most. “You’re mine, Jesse. Nobody is taking you away
from me. Not even Elias.”

At three a.m. Elias sat outside Vicki’s apartment in his
truck, took another swig of Jack straight from the bottle, and called himself a
pussy. He’d been sitting out here drinking for half an hour, and still hadn’t
found the nerve to go up and see if she’d let him in. Oh, sure, he could use
his key, but that would feel too much like sneaking.

Maybe she’d changed the locks. She’d been pissed enough to
do something like that, and for good reason.

He’d never been so petty to hurt a woman he cared about like
that before. Thinking about how scared she must have been to hear about a dead
cop and then get his voicemail made him feel like dog crap. He’s sworn to his
first wife that he’d always answer the phone. Even if he was in the middle of
handcuffing some dirtbag, he’d plant a knee in the perp’s back and take her
call. She’d still divorced his ass.

What the hell will Vicki do to me?

Rightfully so too. He deserved the biggest ass-chewing she’d
ever thought about giving him. He’d left her. Again. He’d hurt her. Again. Then
he’d scared ten years off her life. Now he sat out here too scared to go up and
face the music.

No, that wasn’t true. He’d always been able to deal with her
temper. In fact, nothing turned him on more than watching her rip into him,
teeth, fists, words, it didn’t matter. He loved it.

No, what scared the shit out of him was the thought of
finding her in bed with Jesse. Maybe this time they wouldn’t be asleep. He’d
catch them in the act and he’d…he’d…

What, blow the kid’s brains out? She loved Jesse. It wasn’t
his fault. It wasn’t even her fault. Elias saw the way she looked at the kid,
because he looked at her the same way. He’d do anything to be with her,
wouldn’t he?

Even join them?

Yeah, that’s what made his stomach churn uneasily. Whiskey
burned a hole in his stomach. He just didn’t know if he could do it. What it
would entail. How would it feel to see her with another man, the passion on her
face, and know it wasn’t for him? That’s what it came down to, wasn’t it? His
pride. His fear that maybe she secretly wanted Jesse more. Maybe he pleased her
more. Hell, he hadn’t even known that she might like the kinkier shit.

Maybe someday she’d decide she didn’t really need Elias
after all.

Much safer to walk now than to want and need her so bad and
know he wasn’t enough.

He reached for the keys to turn the engine on, but let his
hand fall back into his lap. He’d sat here too long with the bottle to even
think about driving. That’s the last thing he needed. He could see the
headlines now:
Drunk cop runs down helpless old lady in the street.

He wasn’t drunk, not by a long shot. Because if he were
drunk, maybe he wouldn’t care if she screamed the same way for Jesse that she
did when
he
was inside her.

A flicker of movement drew his gaze up to the window. Her
face, her hands pressed against the glass. Instinctively he scrunched back in
his seat, but she couldn’t see his truck, let alone him. He’d always been
careful to park in the shadows, untouched by the streetlights when he came to
stand watch outside her door.

She looked up and down the street and turned away. Warmth
spread in his gut that absolutely nothing to do with whiskey. She’d been
looking for him. Hoping that maybe he’d come, even though they’d such a
horrible argument. Even though she’d hung up on him and refused to answer his
calls the rest of the day. She had a good-looking, young cabana boy in her bed
more than willing to do absolutely anything she asked.

Yet she was looking for
me
.

He got out of the truck and shut the door as quietly as
possible. He still felt like a slinking hyena as he crept up the stairs and
silently unlocked her door, but he held that vision of her at the window in his
mind. All the lights were off but she’d left the television on. Blankets were
tumbled about on the couch. She must have spent the day watching movies.
Hopefully she hadn’t been daydreaming about slicing him up like those killer
zombies.

He kicked off his shoes and tiptoed toward her bedroom. The
door was open. She wasn’t trying to hide anything. She hadn’t placed homemade
tripwires or secretly moved any furniture into his path, hoping the crash would
alert her of his approach. Still, he hesitated at the door, just to the side of
the blackness within, gathering his courage. He didn’t hear anything. No low
moans, no sweet whispers, no thudding of flesh on flesh. No matter what he saw
in her bed, he silently resolved not to leave. Not this time.